THE ASHTRIX CH 2 by The Cheesebadger
THE FOLLOWING IS A TEST:ÓÓÓÓÓÓdarn still doesnt work.Due to the problems with quotation marks in my last chapter,all words said by a charactor will be in those things.EX: ÒCome get someÓI said. as opposed to Come get some I said.Anyway on with the ASHTRIX!!!
CH 2 As i was riding in the washroom with this guy calling himself Bruce, I got to thinking.What the hell is going on!I meanbetween all of this deadite slaying,hand chopping,girfriend killing,world saving,Linda constantly changing appearances throughout the films and now traveling to a different world in a bathroom with a guy named BRUCE!!!Not to mention hes dressed in all black leather....(shudder). I have to be the MOST unluckiest guy EVER!And with everyone trying to swallow my soul and such...man its a hrd knock life.
What are you talking about man?Bruce said.
What?You can hear my thoughts?!!?I exclaimed.
No, your narrarating,this is a story after all.
Shhhh!What the hell are you trying to do, you cant let the reader know that you know hes reading!!!
Sorry!jeez i thought that the readers would be cool with it man Well shutup!Now they know that we know that they know!!I said.
But do they know that we know that they know that we know that they know?Said Bruce.
Well if they didnt they sure do now...I said.
.... well what if they DIDNT know that they know that we know that---
SHUT UP!!, God thats such a played joke man just quit it!I yelled.
You know for a guy whos supposed to be some amazing deadite slayer you are really bitchyBruce said.
Ooh! were here.
I opened the bathroom door and stepped into a very long hallwayThat seemed to stretch infinitly to my right and left, doors appearing five feet from eachother all the way down as far as i could see.
Hey guy.What the hell is thisI asked.
Oh, You know that hall way in the Matr--Oh, im not allowed to say that huh.damn.
Yeah yeah, dont get us sued or nuthin But you say the name Ash, i mean isnt that copyrighted?
Shhhh!!! If you pretend like its not there and it doesnt exist, then it doesnt.
Yeah right aright i think ist this door to the RAIMI council.Bruce said as he opened a door.
When the door opened we peered into a dark room with a huge screen, on it there was a kid with long blond hair ding slowmotion kung-fu and screaming about pancakes.
WHoa!Whoops! Sorry thats where we punish traitors with godawful flicks like CABIN FEVERSaid Bruce as he slammed the door shut.
Wow, thats some cruel punishment.I said.
Only the worst for our enemys.Ok heres the door.
As he opened the door we both walked into a really shiny room with lots of gadgets and gizmos and junk.I really had to resist the urge to start screwing around with all the gadgets like i do at best buy.
Hey!Dont you screw with nuthin!You here me , this is all really exspensive stuffBruce blurted.
Fine, fine,I said as i reached towards the shiny computer looking diplay screen.
HEY! IM not frikkin kidding around man!Dont touch nuthin!Bruce shouted.
BRUCE AND ASH! A ridicoulously loud voice yelled.
Whoa! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!I yelled as a giant talking head appeared in front of the both of us.
BEHOLD FOR I AM THE LEADER OF R.A.I.M.I.BOW DOWN BEFORE ME
As i watched Bruce get on his knees and grovel like an idiot i noticed that this RAIMI guy was using the same trick that that wizard of Oz guy was using.So o walked over to the curtain and yanked it open.
STOP THAT PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!
Oh pleaseI Sneered as i yanked out he nerdy lookin guy from behinf the curtain.
Ouch! Oh dont hurt me, i have very sensitive skin and i bruise easily. Said the nerd in a....well nerdy voice.
Are you that dude that directed SPIDERMAN!??!I asked puzzed.
Well no.Im not Sam.Hes busy in the Ashtrix right now, im his brother TedTed said.(Ha , that ryhmes!)
Oh please dont make me ryhme, i hate it, i do it all the time.Oh no!, I ryhmed again,ORANGE!said Ted.
What?Orange?the hell is that all about?i asked.
Nothing ryhmes with orange you see and i was trying to...Oh you get the idea here let Bruce show you to your room where you will wait for Sam.Ted said.
Why do i have to wait for Sam?I asked.
He will tell you what to do and how to jack into the Ashtrix, for now you know all you need to know
Ted walked back into the curtain booth thing.Bruce told me that my room was suite 7869,(why this place has a hotel i will never know).I walked into the first set of hallways of rooms and as i looked at the door i saw that the door # was 1.i looked up atthe stair case that seemed to go VERY high up into the building.I realized then that my suite was number 7869, that i was currently in front of door #1 and i had 800 sets of stairs to climb.So i checked to see if the elevator was working.There was just an empty shaft....Damn.But i did check to see if there was an escalator.Nope, double damn.I started the ridicoulously long walk up the stairs and to my room.All i kept thinking was...WHY THE HELL DID I GO TO THIS CRAPPY PLACE WITH THAT BRUCE GUY!!!Ah, oh well only 6,946,275 more stairs to go.
So what did you think?Tell me your opinion to me AND Strongbad@Homestarrunner.com (oh, tell your opinion to me on THIS website, not homestarrunner.com)
THE FOLLOWING IS A TEST:ÓÓÓÓÓÓdarn still doesnt work.Due to the problems with quotation marks in my last chapter,all words said by a charactor will be in those things.EX: ÒCome get someÓI said. as opposed to Come get some I said.Anyway on with the ASHTRIX!!!
CH 2 As i was riding in the washroom with this guy calling himself Bruce, I got to thinking.What the hell is going on!I meanbetween all of this deadite slaying,hand chopping,girfriend killing,world saving,Linda constantly changing appearances throughout the films and now traveling to a different world in a bathroom with a guy named BRUCE!!!Not to mention hes dressed in all black leather....(shudder). I have to be the MOST unluckiest guy EVER!And with everyone trying to swallow my soul and such...man its a hrd knock life.
What are you talking about man?Bruce said.
What?You can hear my thoughts?!!?I exclaimed.
No, your narrarating,this is a story after all.
Shhhh!What the hell are you trying to do, you cant let the reader know that you know hes reading!!!
Sorry!jeez i thought that the readers would be cool with it man Well shutup!Now they know that we know that they know!!I said.
But do they know that we know that they know that we know that they know?Said Bruce.
Well if they didnt they sure do now...I said.
.... well what if they DIDNT know that they know that we know that---
SHUT UP!!, God thats such a played joke man just quit it!I yelled.
You know for a guy whos supposed to be some amazing deadite slayer you are really bitchyBruce said.
Ooh! were here.
I opened the bathroom door and stepped into a very long hallwayThat seemed to stretch infinitly to my right and left, doors appearing five feet from eachother all the way down as far as i could see.
Hey guy.What the hell is thisI asked.
Oh, You know that hall way in the Matr--Oh, im not allowed to say that huh.damn.
Yeah yeah, dont get us sued or nuthin But you say the name Ash, i mean isnt that copyrighted?
Shhhh!!! If you pretend like its not there and it doesnt exist, then it doesnt.
Yeah right aright i think ist this door to the RAIMI council.Bruce said as he opened a door.
When the door opened we peered into a dark room with a huge screen, on it there was a kid with long blond hair ding slowmotion kung-fu and screaming about pancakes.
WHoa!Whoops! Sorry thats where we punish traitors with godawful flicks like CABIN FEVERSaid Bruce as he slammed the door shut.
Wow, thats some cruel punishment.I said.
Only the worst for our enemys.Ok heres the door.
As he opened the door we both walked into a really shiny room with lots of gadgets and gizmos and junk.I really had to resist the urge to start screwing around with all the gadgets like i do at best buy.
Hey!Dont you screw with nuthin!You here me , this is all really exspensive stuffBruce blurted.
Fine, fine,I said as i reached towards the shiny computer looking diplay screen.
HEY! IM not frikkin kidding around man!Dont touch nuthin!Bruce shouted.
BRUCE AND ASH! A ridicoulously loud voice yelled.
Whoa! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!I yelled as a giant talking head appeared in front of the both of us.
BEHOLD FOR I AM THE LEADER OF R.A.I.M.I.BOW DOWN BEFORE ME
As i watched Bruce get on his knees and grovel like an idiot i noticed that this RAIMI guy was using the same trick that that wizard of Oz guy was using.So o walked over to the curtain and yanked it open.
STOP THAT PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!
Oh pleaseI Sneered as i yanked out he nerdy lookin guy from behinf the curtain.
Ouch! Oh dont hurt me, i have very sensitive skin and i bruise easily. Said the nerd in a....well nerdy voice.
Are you that dude that directed SPIDERMAN!??!I asked puzzed.
Well no.Im not Sam.Hes busy in the Ashtrix right now, im his brother TedTed said.(Ha , that ryhmes!)
Oh please dont make me ryhme, i hate it, i do it all the time.Oh no!, I ryhmed again,ORANGE!said Ted.
What?Orange?the hell is that all about?i asked.
Nothing ryhmes with orange you see and i was trying to...Oh you get the idea here let Bruce show you to your room where you will wait for Sam.Ted said.
Why do i have to wait for Sam?I asked.
He will tell you what to do and how to jack into the Ashtrix, for now you know all you need to know
Ted walked back into the curtain booth thing.Bruce told me that my room was suite 7869,(why this place has a hotel i will never know).I walked into the first set of hallways of rooms and as i looked at the door i saw that the door # was 1.i looked up atthe stair case that seemed to go VERY high up into the building.I realized then that my suite was number 7869, that i was currently in front of door #1 and i had 800 sets of stairs to climb.So i checked to see if the elevator was working.There was just an empty shaft....Damn.But i did check to see if there was an escalator.Nope, double damn.I started the ridicoulously long walk up the stairs and to my room.All i kept thinking was...WHY THE HELL DID I GO TO THIS CRAPPY PLACE WITH THAT BRUCE GUY!!!Ah, oh well only 6,946,275 more stairs to go.
So what did you think?Tell me your opinion to me AND Strongbad@Homestarrunner.com (oh, tell your opinion to me on THIS website, not homestarrunner.com)