CHAPTER FOUR
Explanations
The next day, Shuuichi was up and about. Shadow kept a nervous watch on him as he wandered around the house. He had remembered everybody's names, but that was about all he knew. He knew how to talk, although his vocabulary didn't surpass that of a low-education third grader... He had a basic understanding of everything. He wasn't as much like a 2-year-old as Shadow had first thought. More like a 5-year-old.
Needless to say, that's not much better.
Shadow and Hiei sat at the dining room table. Hiei was holding a book open on the table with one hand, but his attention was mostly on Shuuichi. Shadow was not holding a book open, or trying to put her attention anywhere but Shuuichi.
Shuuichi himself was transfixed by Shadow's fish tank. He seemed to think that watching several brightly-colored tropical fish dart around in a tank was the most amazing thing. He was completely oblivious to the fact that two pairs of blood-red eyes were locked onto him, watching his every move as if any second he would blow up like an atomic bomb.
"Well at least we didn't have to teach him how to walk," Hiei said absently, trying to find a bright side to the situation (since when was Hiei so optimistic?).
"Or talk," Shadow added.
"Or eat."
"Oh, thank God we didn't have to POTTY TRAIN him!" Shadow said, sounding relieved.
"If we had, it would have been your job," Hiei said, sounding freaked out.
"A 15-year-old girl potty training a 16-year-old boy. HAVE YOU GOT BRAIN DAMAGE OR SOMETHING HIEI? IF YOU ASK ME, THERE'S SOMETHING ENTIRELY TOO WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE!!!" Shadow yelled. Hiei leaned back to avoid getting spit on, and his chair fell right over backwards. Hearing the crash, Shuuichi snapped out of his trance and glanced back at Shadow and Hiei. They smiled innocently.
"It's okay, Shuuichi. We're just goofing. You keep on watching the fish. This is the most attention they've gotten since Youko wanted to eat them," Shadow said with a smile. Hiei looked up at her suspiciously.
"How did you know Youko wanted to eat the fish?" he asked.
"The fish told me."
"Pah! Yeah right."
"Just kidding. Yusuke told me."
"Is that part of the reason you hate him so much? Because he wanted to eat your precious little swimmy-fishies?" Hiei teased. Shadow glared.
"No. I think you know all too well why I don't like him," she said, narrowing her eyes.
"Refresh my memory," Youko said from behind them. Shadow spun around. The kitsune was standing in the doorway.
Shadow snorted. Hiei stood and set his chair back on the ground in its proper upright position, then sat down to watch and see if he would be laughing or pulling the two off each others' throats. Shuuichi looked between the two, confused.
"I don't think you need your memory refreshed, fox. But I do have hope that you're getting the rules pounded into your brain, cuz I slept ~alone~ last night!" Shadow said happily. Youko raised one eyebrow.
"I ~am~ over a thousand years old, I think by now I can tell not to mess with a girl when she's as mad as you were. But I ~was~ tempted," Youko said mischeviously. Shadow glared at him.
"Well, you better just keep your little temptations to yourself. I'm not going to put up with this crap, and besides, you're setting a bad example." Shadow pointed at Shuuichi. Youko snorted.
"Right," the fox said sarcastically. "I'm just ~so~ sorry."
"Get lost," Shadow replied. "I am ~not~ in the mood for some sex-crazed, smart-mouth fox to be getting in my way."
"Youko, maybe if you went about it in a more friendly way... You just come out of nowhere one day and start making advances on her. She's probably overwhelmed," Hiei said. The next thing he knew, he experienced the extreme pain of having a crowbar slammed into his head. He fell out of his chair.
"I DON'T NEED YOU GIVING ADVICE TO THIS LOUSY ANIMAL ON HOW TO GO ABOUT GETTING ME IN BED WITH HIM!!!" Shadow stomped out of the room, making as much noise as she could dragging the crowbar up the stairs. Youko watched her go.
"Well, you tried," the kitsune said, helping his friend up. Hiei swayed and had to lean on Youko for support, due to the rather large bump on his head.
"Damn, that girl is dangerous..."
Shuuichi had watched the whole scene quietly, but now he was confused.
"Why does she hate you so much?" he asked Youko. "She's been nice to everyone else, but when you walked in, she started being mean."
"She hates him because he... hm... He ~invaded her privacy~, and she didn't like it much," Hiei answered, trying his best to say it tactfully. Youko didn't care about being tactful. Since Shuuichi still looked confused, the fox explained himself.
"I picked the lock on her door and slept in her bed with her the other night, and she didn't approve," Youko said.
"She freaked out. She would have killed you right then and there if Shuuichi hadn't woke up," Hiei hissed under his breath. "I think 'didn't approve' is way too gentle a way to say that."
"Why would you do that?" Shuuichi asked. Youko rolled his eyes, but the answer came from Yusuke, who had heard part of the conversation from the living room.
"He'd do that because he is a sex-crazed bastard who can't keep his lock- picking hands to himself, especially when it comes to girls."
"Nicely put, Yusuke!" Hiei called.
"Thank you!"
"Oh." Shuuichi seemed to be overcome with information for the moment and wandered off to watch the grass grow or something. Hiei and Youko exchanged glances.
"Honestly, you ~should~ leave her alone," Hiei said after a minute.
"Oh, shut up," Youko said, walking away. Hiei sighed and walked off to find Shuuichi.
When he found him, Shuuichi was entraced by the sight of a ladybug crawling up the wall. Hiei went and stood beside him.
"Having fun?" Hiei asked sarcastically, staring at the little orange bug.
"Fun? Not really. It's just something to do," Shuuichi answered.
"I was being sarcastic. If you had been having fun, I would have been surprised," Hiei answered.
"Oh. Well... Uh... What's sarcastic?" Shuuichi asked (remember, he's got the vocabulary of a low-education third grader).
Hiei, not being very experienced at defining words, had a bit of trouble with this. "It means... uh... When you say you're being sarcastic, it means you don't really mean what you said... and it's usually a rather rude way to talk to people, unless you're just joking around... Which I was, by the way... And... uh..."
"Okay... so when you're sarcastic, it's actually kind of like an insult?" Shuuichi asked thoughtfully.
"Not always. When you say something sarcastically, you're usually joking, and sometimes when you joke about certain things, you end up insulting someone, or hurting their feelings, and... Around Shadow, never be sarcastic in the insulting way. You get hurt," Hiei warned.
Shuuichi nodded. "Okay!"
Hiei sighed. 'I actually managed to explain that and make it understandable! That's a first,' he thought.
"Were you being sarcastic when you said that stuff earlier and got hit in the head?" Shuuichi asked.
"Huh?"
"I said, Were you being sarcastic when you said that stuff earlier and got hit in the head?"
"Sort of... A little... Yes... No..." Hiei fumbled for an answer, not really sure whether he had or hadn't. "You know, I'm really not sure."
"Why not?"
"You ask a lot of questions, you know that?" Hiei said, getting annoyed.
Shuuichi heard the tone of Hiei's voice and stepped back. "Sorry."
"HIEI, ARE YOU SCARING THAT POOR KID?" Shadow yelled. She had just happened to step into the room at that second. What great timing. Not. "Honestly, I leave you down here alone for TEN MINUTES and you're already scaring him!"
"Hiei-san isn't scary," Shuuichi assured her. "He's just annoyed."
"Did you just call me Hiei-san?" Hiei asked.
"Yeah," Shuuichi answered. Shadow burst out laughing.
"Honestly, you really are a confused kid, Shuuichi," Shadow said, still laughing. "No offense, of course. But you obviously still have to get straight who to respect and who not to respect. Everybody in this house is equal. 'Cept me, who owns the house, runs the house, cleans the house, and kills Youko and hides his corpse in the walls of the house."
Hiei's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Shuuichi looked startled. Shadow burst out laughing at the expressions on their faces.
"No, I didn't kill him. I didn't injure him in any way," Shadow said, smiling. "Although I wish I could..."
"But you can't. Cuz if we're ever gonna get Kurama back, we're gonna need Youko around, right?" Hiei said.
"Actually, he ~is~ Kurama. But I know what you mean. And yes, we will, and I'll have to deal with him until who-knows-when because of that," Shadow said dryly.
"Good girl."
"Can we chain him up with reinforced titanium chains and lock him in a room someplace for a while?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Shadow, somehow I think that keeping Youko Kurama chained up in a little room wouldn't work. First, he's a theif. He picks locks. Second, once he had picked the locks, he would be twice as bad, just to make you angry."
"How could he pick the locks if his wrists were chained behind his back?"
"I don't know. He doesn't tell me all his little theiving secrets!"
"God, you don't need to freak."
"Whatever."
"I still say chaining him up in a closet would be a good thing to do," Shadow said after a minute. Hiei rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. Go ahead and lock him in a closet. I'm telling you it won't work, and it definitely won't do any good," Hiei replied.
"That's for you to think and me to confirm or disprove," Shadow said with a smile.
"You're actually going to lock Youko in a closet?" Shuuichi asked, surprised.
"Yes. Why not?"
"IT WON'T DO ANY GOOD, SHADOW!!!" Hiei persisted. "I swear. He'll be twenty times worse afterwards."
Shadow sighed. "I think it'll work." With that said, she walked away to find some reinforced titanium chains and very heavy locks.
"It's not going to work," Hiei told Shuuichi, still desperate for somebody to listen to him. Shuuichi shrugged.
"I can't agree or disagree. I don't know a lot about Youko's abilities," he said.
'Right. Well you should. You used to BE him,' Hiei thought. He shrugged and walked away, leaving Shuuichi standing there looking confused.
Explanations
The next day, Shuuichi was up and about. Shadow kept a nervous watch on him as he wandered around the house. He had remembered everybody's names, but that was about all he knew. He knew how to talk, although his vocabulary didn't surpass that of a low-education third grader... He had a basic understanding of everything. He wasn't as much like a 2-year-old as Shadow had first thought. More like a 5-year-old.
Needless to say, that's not much better.
Shadow and Hiei sat at the dining room table. Hiei was holding a book open on the table with one hand, but his attention was mostly on Shuuichi. Shadow was not holding a book open, or trying to put her attention anywhere but Shuuichi.
Shuuichi himself was transfixed by Shadow's fish tank. He seemed to think that watching several brightly-colored tropical fish dart around in a tank was the most amazing thing. He was completely oblivious to the fact that two pairs of blood-red eyes were locked onto him, watching his every move as if any second he would blow up like an atomic bomb.
"Well at least we didn't have to teach him how to walk," Hiei said absently, trying to find a bright side to the situation (since when was Hiei so optimistic?).
"Or talk," Shadow added.
"Or eat."
"Oh, thank God we didn't have to POTTY TRAIN him!" Shadow said, sounding relieved.
"If we had, it would have been your job," Hiei said, sounding freaked out.
"A 15-year-old girl potty training a 16-year-old boy. HAVE YOU GOT BRAIN DAMAGE OR SOMETHING HIEI? IF YOU ASK ME, THERE'S SOMETHING ENTIRELY TOO WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE!!!" Shadow yelled. Hiei leaned back to avoid getting spit on, and his chair fell right over backwards. Hearing the crash, Shuuichi snapped out of his trance and glanced back at Shadow and Hiei. They smiled innocently.
"It's okay, Shuuichi. We're just goofing. You keep on watching the fish. This is the most attention they've gotten since Youko wanted to eat them," Shadow said with a smile. Hiei looked up at her suspiciously.
"How did you know Youko wanted to eat the fish?" he asked.
"The fish told me."
"Pah! Yeah right."
"Just kidding. Yusuke told me."
"Is that part of the reason you hate him so much? Because he wanted to eat your precious little swimmy-fishies?" Hiei teased. Shadow glared.
"No. I think you know all too well why I don't like him," she said, narrowing her eyes.
"Refresh my memory," Youko said from behind them. Shadow spun around. The kitsune was standing in the doorway.
Shadow snorted. Hiei stood and set his chair back on the ground in its proper upright position, then sat down to watch and see if he would be laughing or pulling the two off each others' throats. Shuuichi looked between the two, confused.
"I don't think you need your memory refreshed, fox. But I do have hope that you're getting the rules pounded into your brain, cuz I slept ~alone~ last night!" Shadow said happily. Youko raised one eyebrow.
"I ~am~ over a thousand years old, I think by now I can tell not to mess with a girl when she's as mad as you were. But I ~was~ tempted," Youko said mischeviously. Shadow glared at him.
"Well, you better just keep your little temptations to yourself. I'm not going to put up with this crap, and besides, you're setting a bad example." Shadow pointed at Shuuichi. Youko snorted.
"Right," the fox said sarcastically. "I'm just ~so~ sorry."
"Get lost," Shadow replied. "I am ~not~ in the mood for some sex-crazed, smart-mouth fox to be getting in my way."
"Youko, maybe if you went about it in a more friendly way... You just come out of nowhere one day and start making advances on her. She's probably overwhelmed," Hiei said. The next thing he knew, he experienced the extreme pain of having a crowbar slammed into his head. He fell out of his chair.
"I DON'T NEED YOU GIVING ADVICE TO THIS LOUSY ANIMAL ON HOW TO GO ABOUT GETTING ME IN BED WITH HIM!!!" Shadow stomped out of the room, making as much noise as she could dragging the crowbar up the stairs. Youko watched her go.
"Well, you tried," the kitsune said, helping his friend up. Hiei swayed and had to lean on Youko for support, due to the rather large bump on his head.
"Damn, that girl is dangerous..."
Shuuichi had watched the whole scene quietly, but now he was confused.
"Why does she hate you so much?" he asked Youko. "She's been nice to everyone else, but when you walked in, she started being mean."
"She hates him because he... hm... He ~invaded her privacy~, and she didn't like it much," Hiei answered, trying his best to say it tactfully. Youko didn't care about being tactful. Since Shuuichi still looked confused, the fox explained himself.
"I picked the lock on her door and slept in her bed with her the other night, and she didn't approve," Youko said.
"She freaked out. She would have killed you right then and there if Shuuichi hadn't woke up," Hiei hissed under his breath. "I think 'didn't approve' is way too gentle a way to say that."
"Why would you do that?" Shuuichi asked. Youko rolled his eyes, but the answer came from Yusuke, who had heard part of the conversation from the living room.
"He'd do that because he is a sex-crazed bastard who can't keep his lock- picking hands to himself, especially when it comes to girls."
"Nicely put, Yusuke!" Hiei called.
"Thank you!"
"Oh." Shuuichi seemed to be overcome with information for the moment and wandered off to watch the grass grow or something. Hiei and Youko exchanged glances.
"Honestly, you ~should~ leave her alone," Hiei said after a minute.
"Oh, shut up," Youko said, walking away. Hiei sighed and walked off to find Shuuichi.
When he found him, Shuuichi was entraced by the sight of a ladybug crawling up the wall. Hiei went and stood beside him.
"Having fun?" Hiei asked sarcastically, staring at the little orange bug.
"Fun? Not really. It's just something to do," Shuuichi answered.
"I was being sarcastic. If you had been having fun, I would have been surprised," Hiei answered.
"Oh. Well... Uh... What's sarcastic?" Shuuichi asked (remember, he's got the vocabulary of a low-education third grader).
Hiei, not being very experienced at defining words, had a bit of trouble with this. "It means... uh... When you say you're being sarcastic, it means you don't really mean what you said... and it's usually a rather rude way to talk to people, unless you're just joking around... Which I was, by the way... And... uh..."
"Okay... so when you're sarcastic, it's actually kind of like an insult?" Shuuichi asked thoughtfully.
"Not always. When you say something sarcastically, you're usually joking, and sometimes when you joke about certain things, you end up insulting someone, or hurting their feelings, and... Around Shadow, never be sarcastic in the insulting way. You get hurt," Hiei warned.
Shuuichi nodded. "Okay!"
Hiei sighed. 'I actually managed to explain that and make it understandable! That's a first,' he thought.
"Were you being sarcastic when you said that stuff earlier and got hit in the head?" Shuuichi asked.
"Huh?"
"I said, Were you being sarcastic when you said that stuff earlier and got hit in the head?"
"Sort of... A little... Yes... No..." Hiei fumbled for an answer, not really sure whether he had or hadn't. "You know, I'm really not sure."
"Why not?"
"You ask a lot of questions, you know that?" Hiei said, getting annoyed.
Shuuichi heard the tone of Hiei's voice and stepped back. "Sorry."
"HIEI, ARE YOU SCARING THAT POOR KID?" Shadow yelled. She had just happened to step into the room at that second. What great timing. Not. "Honestly, I leave you down here alone for TEN MINUTES and you're already scaring him!"
"Hiei-san isn't scary," Shuuichi assured her. "He's just annoyed."
"Did you just call me Hiei-san?" Hiei asked.
"Yeah," Shuuichi answered. Shadow burst out laughing.
"Honestly, you really are a confused kid, Shuuichi," Shadow said, still laughing. "No offense, of course. But you obviously still have to get straight who to respect and who not to respect. Everybody in this house is equal. 'Cept me, who owns the house, runs the house, cleans the house, and kills Youko and hides his corpse in the walls of the house."
Hiei's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Shuuichi looked startled. Shadow burst out laughing at the expressions on their faces.
"No, I didn't kill him. I didn't injure him in any way," Shadow said, smiling. "Although I wish I could..."
"But you can't. Cuz if we're ever gonna get Kurama back, we're gonna need Youko around, right?" Hiei said.
"Actually, he ~is~ Kurama. But I know what you mean. And yes, we will, and I'll have to deal with him until who-knows-when because of that," Shadow said dryly.
"Good girl."
"Can we chain him up with reinforced titanium chains and lock him in a room someplace for a while?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Shadow, somehow I think that keeping Youko Kurama chained up in a little room wouldn't work. First, he's a theif. He picks locks. Second, once he had picked the locks, he would be twice as bad, just to make you angry."
"How could he pick the locks if his wrists were chained behind his back?"
"I don't know. He doesn't tell me all his little theiving secrets!"
"God, you don't need to freak."
"Whatever."
"I still say chaining him up in a closet would be a good thing to do," Shadow said after a minute. Hiei rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. Go ahead and lock him in a closet. I'm telling you it won't work, and it definitely won't do any good," Hiei replied.
"That's for you to think and me to confirm or disprove," Shadow said with a smile.
"You're actually going to lock Youko in a closet?" Shuuichi asked, surprised.
"Yes. Why not?"
"IT WON'T DO ANY GOOD, SHADOW!!!" Hiei persisted. "I swear. He'll be twenty times worse afterwards."
Shadow sighed. "I think it'll work." With that said, she walked away to find some reinforced titanium chains and very heavy locks.
"It's not going to work," Hiei told Shuuichi, still desperate for somebody to listen to him. Shuuichi shrugged.
"I can't agree or disagree. I don't know a lot about Youko's abilities," he said.
'Right. Well you should. You used to BE him,' Hiei thought. He shrugged and walked away, leaving Shuuichi standing there looking confused.