REJOICE, FOR UPDATE I FINALLY DO!!! *blows a trumpet and waves little flags
while fireworks go off in the background*
REJOICE, FOR TALK LIKE YODA I DO!!! *gets punched in the head by a slightly annoyed 2-foot-tall green munchkin-lookin' thing with pointy ears, which shouts, 'TALK LIKE ME YOU SHALL NOT, UNIQUE I AM!!!' and gets the nice reply of 'F*** OFF, LIL' MUNCHKIN!!!' accompanied by a boot to the head*
(Yes, I ~am~ proud of being overly violent, thank you very much. Disclaimer: I do not own Yoda! Or Star Wards! I mean... Star Wars! I just talk like Yoda a lot and am, at the present moment, on a small chocolate high... Weeeeee!!!)
REJOICE, FOR SHUT UP I WILL AND START SHALL THE STORY!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER SEVEN
A Possible Solution!
(Rejoice, for here is a possible solution! *blows a trumpet and gets hit in
the head with a basket ball thrown by our dear little fire youkai, Hiei
Jaganshi...)
"Reikai prison. Have fun," Koenma said as he locked Youko and the two forest demons, Aya and Koji, into a cell together. "Ah. Oh. Youko, I need you to give me the seeds that I know you keep with you. All of them."
"What? ... Agh..." Youko muttered. He reached up and pulled quite a few seeds out of his hair.
"I expect these back when I get out of here," he said as he put his hand through the bars to give the seeds to Koenma. "If I don't get ~all of them~ back, you're going to be sorry."
"Yes, I'm sure," Koenma said dryly, taking the seeds. "Now don't try anything."
He walked down the hall, leaving Youko alone with Aya and Koji. They were sitting together on one side of the cell. Youko turned to look at them.
"Well, I guess we're stuck together for a while, right?" Aya said miserably. "We might as well get to know each other..."
"No, we might as well ~not~," Youko retorted. He leaned against the bars and closed his eyes. "Shadow is going to be quite miserable the next time she sees me..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shadow was dancing around her house like she had just won 8 trillion dollars. Occasionally she would grab somebody (usually Hiei) by the shoulders and scream in his face, "YOUKO'S IN PRISON! GONE!!! I'M FREE!!!"
That unfortunate person would then walk away miserably wiping spit off his face, or coughing and muttering about Shadow's bad breath, which she did not have, but whoever the unfortunate person was, he just got put in a really bad mood, so he said she had bad breath. She wouldn't notice, because she was too busy dancing and squealing with happiness.
This went on for at least half an hour before Hiei finally got sick of it. The next time she grabbed his shoulders, he slapped her in the face and screamed at her that they got the idea and were quite frankly very sick of her being so happy, they almost liked it better when she was living in constant fear of the perverted fox and were about to go bail him out just so she would shut up.
She shut up.
Instead of screaming and dancing for the next half an hour, she sulked around glaring at Hiei. Finally, Koenma came back and she stopped sulking and screaming and doing anything because he wanted to talk to them, and she didn't have time to be sulking and screaming.
"Okay, I think we need to start thinking of how to get Kurama back to how we know him. Youko soul, human body, right?" he said. Yusuke and Hiei nodded. Shadow agreed so fully that she nodded so hard her head was in danger of coming disconnected from her spinal cord.
"Any ideas?"
"Why don't we just have Youko do what he did sixteen years ago when he was born into the human body?" Hiei suggested. "I know ~he~ won't cooperate with that on his own, but I'm sure we could think of something to get him to cooperate."
"Yeah, something involving Shadow..." Yusuke muttered.
"I THOUGHT ONCE HE WAS GONE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ANY MORE PERVERTED JOKES, YUSUKE! BUT NOOO, YOU JUST ~HAD~ TO GO AND SAY THAT, DIDN'T YOU?" Shadow screamed. "WHY DO YOU THINK I TOLD ON HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE? TO GET RID OF HIM AND HIS PERVERTED MIND! Perv..."
"Well, Yusuke's right..." Hiei whispered.
"I DON'T CARE!"
"Okay, boys, let's try to find another way before we force Shadow into anything..." Koenma said.
"You'd better find another way or I'm afraid Youko will stay in prison for the rest of his stupid life, and Shuuichi will be stuck as a human, cuz I am NOT about to be used as a bribe," Shadow hissed.
"Of course not," Hiei said. "Let's think of something else. Koenma, do you know anything about the possibility of finding another demon like the one who originally separated them? One who could do that whole soul deal to take out Youko's soul and put it in Shuuichi?"
"No, but I could investigate. I think it would be a good thing to know EXACTLY what Youko did the first time, sixteen years ago. I mean, he's said that he tore his soul from his body, but there's got to be something more than that, right?"
"Possibly. I wouldn't know. I've never been that desperate..." Hiei said lazily. Shadow smiled.
"I'll ask him about it... I think once we have that information and have more to work off of, we'll have more chance of figuring it out," Koenma said. "I'll go do that now. You just continue on with your normal lives as best you can until I get back."
With that, Koenma vanished. Poofies. Hiei sighed.
"Well, hopefully we'll have Kurama back to normal soon... Until then... I don't know. But right now, I'm going to bed," he said. He walked up the stairs. Shadow plopped down on the couch to watch TV for the next 6 hours straight.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Koenma walked down the halls of Reikai prison until he came to Youko's cell. The kitsune had his back against the bars, but he noticed Koenma coming. His ear twitched, but he didn't move.
Aya and Koji were across the cell, facing towards Youko. They saw Koenma stop outside.
"What do you want, Koenma?" Youko said. Koenma hadn't even said anything.
"Ah. I wanted to talk to you, Youko," he said.
"Well, I kind of figured that, baka... No, I thought you came up here just to stand there and stare at us," the fox said sarcastically.
"Youko, I need to ask you some questions, and you had better answer them truthfully, and without sarcasm."
"That's nice."
Koenma nearly exploded. "ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?!"
"No. Not really."
"YOUKO KURAMA, YOU REALLY NEED TO GET A LIFE!!!"
"No, I like my life just fine how it is."
"Oh? You enjoy being in prison?"
"Not particularly, but otherwise my life has been perfectly fine and dandy," Youko said dryly.
"Oh. That's... Wait! I didn't come up here to talk about your life being fine and dandy!!! God, must you go and change the subject on me?!"
"Yes, yes indeed I must. But technically I wasn't changing the subject, since you never really gave a definite subject to change," Youko said dryly. He had his eyes closed and wasn't even facing Koenma. Only Aya and Koji could tell he was thoroughly enjoying pissing the kid off.
"Well here's the subject: You."
"WELL THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT, DIPSHIT!"
"Not you, like... Never mind."
"Okay!" Youko started neverminding. He whistled some strange song, completely ignoring Koenma. Finally getting sick of the stupid fox's stupid stupidity, he stopped yelling and started thinking.
He came to a decision and walked away. Once he was out of the prison area, Youko sighed and stopped whistling.
"How can you be like that to the Prince of Reikai?!" Koji asked. "That's extremely disrespectful, and he could just kill you anytime he wanted. You're already in prison, all he's got to do is order your death."
"He wouldn't do that, baka," Youko said.
"How do you know?"
"Because he needs me. I'm a spirit detective, of sorts..."
"What?! Then why are you in prison?!"
"Must I explain my life to you? Because if I must, then you'd better get comfortable; I've lived over a thousand years!" Youko snapped, sounding annoyed.
"No, that's quite okay..." Aya said.
"Good." Youko's ear twitched. "Oh, what now?!"
Koenma came walking back down the corridor, followed by a guy wearing clothes suitable for Florida or Hawaii or other such tropical place, carrying a surf board under one arm.
"Oh... God!" Youko muttered, recognizing the guy as the random surfer dude from the forest. They guy he had killed. Oh, yay. "What is ~he~ doing here?"
"Youko, since you are being an uncooperative little twit, I have decided that, since you are in a prison cell with no plants or seeds anywhere nearby to use as weapons and are threfore defenseless, I am going to put this surfer guy that you murdered outside your cell to bother you until you agree to answer my questions. Have fun," Koenma said. He walked away, leaving the surfer dude outside Youko's cell.
"Hey, man, I remember you! You, like... Killed me! Ya know? It was pretty... radical... You just... killed me... I guess now I'm, like... dead. Right? So, I see you like... Got thrown in prison for your like... crime, man. Pretty radical, no?"
"No."
"Dude, I totally dig that attitude, man! That's like, sweet! Tubular! Dig it?"
Youko slid down the bars and sat down, prepared to use whatever means neccesary to block out the surfer dude.
"Hey, you know, I'm sure it'll be like, pretty cool to be dead and all that, like, stuff, you know, but I'm totally gonna miss being alive. Like, totally. See, because back when I was actually, you know... Alive... I could surf, like... all the time. It was pretty tubular. Like, once, there was this like... hurricane coming, and I was like... totally fueled up to go like... surfing that day, so I just... went anyway, you dig what I'm sayin'? Well, those waves were like... big. Real big. They had to be at least 75 feet tall! I went out surfing, and..."
Youko whimpered and covered his ears, but the surfer dude's voice still got in. He had no choice but to listen to the amazing repetitiveness of the guys 'like,' 'radical,' 'tubular,' and other such words that he seemed to love. And also the unbelievably annoying phrase, 'Dig it.'
"So I just, like, dove right into the water onto that like... gimungously big shark's back and stabbed it to death with like... a Q-Tip. Dude... And when I was sure it was like... totally, completely, radically dead, I jumped back up to the boat, which had to be, like... 300 feet, with that shark on my, like... back. It was pretty radical. Dig it?" the dude was saying. Youko whimpered again and slid down until he was lying on the floor, still trying to hold his ears closed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shadow was just going upstairs when Koenma's voice floated into her head telepathically.
"Hey Shadow!"
"Hey Koenma. Did you get anything?"
"No. But I'm working on it."
"That's just great. Knowing Youko, you'll be waiting a long time before he gives you any information that'll take away his freedom," Shadow muttered.
"Oh, don't be so sure, Shadow. I have my methods."
"Oh really? Care to inform me?"
"Remember that surfer dude he killed to get him in prison in the first place?"
"Yes."
"Well I put that guy outside Youko's cell and told him to keep talking for as long as he could about anything he wanted to. Youko will be talking in no time," Koenma said. "He can't hold out long with that incredibly annoying dude there, talking nonstop."
"Go Koenma!"
"Yes, I'm ingenius, aren't I?"
"No, but you have your moments," Shadow teased. "Okay, take a hike, I'm going to sleep."
"Right..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four hours later, Youko was still holding up. He was curled up in a ball with his hands clamped over his ears and his eyes squeezed closed, but he was still alive. Koenma came to check on him.
"Hello, surfer dude!" Koenma said cheerfully. The dude stopped talking and looked up.
"Oh, hey, Junior!"
"Right... Youko, how are you doing?" Koenma asked, with a 'ha-ha, you are suffering' tone in his voice. Youko opened one eye and looked up at Koenma. "You don't look too well."
"I'm not. This surfer dude is just bringing brutal, bloody murder visions into my head... Not to mention the fact that the way this guy talks is the most annoying thing I have ever heard..." he muttered. Koenma smiled.
"Ready to answer my questions yet?"
"It depends on what they are," Youko said cautiously.
"How exactly did you separate yourself sixteen years ago and enter the human body?" Koenma asked. Youko relaxed a bit.
"It's too hard to explain."
"Could you do it again and still survive?"
"Perhaps. Is that your grand solution? To torture me with this surfer dude until I agree to recombine with Shuuichi?"
"Well, if the surfer dude doesn't work, I have several other methods..." Koenma said thoughtfully.
"Such as?"
"Well, I don't want to use violence... I prefer to torture the mind rather than the body in these cases..."
"How kind of you, but I'd probably hold up better against pain," Youko replied.
"Well, that's why I'm not using pain. And besides, I don't want to hurt you. You're a nice enough person to anybody who is not a girl or your opponent in a fight," Koenma said. Youko snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Speaking of girls, is Shadow enjoying herself without me there?" Youko asked.
"Yes, quite," Koenma answered. He saw something flash in Youko's eyes that he wasn't too sure that he liked. He quickly changed the subject. "Youko, it is very important that you and Shuuichi recombine. If it is possible for you to do whatever you did 16 years ago, now, I ask that you do."
Koenma paused. "At least you'll get out of prison if you do. Isn't that worth it?"
"No. I'll be imprisoned inside the human body, which is worse. I might be able to recombine on my own, but I'd rather not risk it."
"Risk it? What do you mean?"
"Sixteen years ago, I hid myself inside an unborn human baby. When that baby was born, it was me. Shuuichi Minamino, as he is now, may not be able to recieve my soul the same way I combined with Shiori Minamino sixteen years ago."
"I see..." Koenma whispered. "At least you have a passable reason and a good explaination, rather than not wanting to. Why didn't you tell me that in the first place? It would have saved you a lot of suffering from this surfer dude."
"You never asked!"
"You didn't give me the opportunity! You just kept on ignoring me, or being sarcastic, and you made me mad!"
"Boo hoo," Youko retorted.
"Children! Let's not fight, please," Aya said. She walked up to the bars. "Koenma-sama, could I please speak with you privately?"
"What about?"
Aya's eyes turned to Youko. He noticed and raised one eyebrow curiously.
"I think I can help," Aya said. Koenma nodded.
"Youko, move. You're leaning on the door," he said. The kitsune rolled his eyes and walked to the other side of the cell. Koenma unlocked the door and let Aya step out, then he quickly closed and locked it again.
Youko knew he could easily pop the lock and take off, but he decided there was no point. It wasn't really like he was a criminal... He was, but he was gaurenteed freedom, because Koenma needed the fused form, Shuuichi Kurama, in the reikai tantei group. Youko's intelligence wouldn't do the tantei any good locked up in prison, but Youko wouldn't be the same friend, offering kind advice to help the group, unless he was combined with the human.
Koenma and Aya were gone for at least half an hour. When they finally came back, Youko was sleeping peacefully in the corner. Koji walked to the front of the cell to meet his companion.
"Well?" he asked. "What's your decision?"
"I believe I will allow you to try it," Koenma said, closing the cell door quietly. "Let him rest for now, we'll talk it over when he's awake."
After leaving the cell, Koenma went back to his office and called to Hiei telepathically.
'Hiei?'
There was no answer. He tried again, louder. This time he got some random thought that drifted across Hiei's telepathic wavelengths. All it was was a rather bloody threat, spattered with an abundance swear words, but it was seemingly directed at nobody.
Koenma decided Hiei was asleep, because there was no way that he would let something like that just drift in his mind if he was conscious. He would find somebody to direct it at and say it.
He tried Shadow. 'Shadow?! Are you awake?'
He got an incoherent mumble. 'SHADOW!'
'Hnnnn... Call back in two years...'
"Hn?" Koenma muttered out loud. "She's been around Hiei to long." He tried Hiei again. It was really quite important that he got through to somebody in that house.
'HIEI JAGANSHI, WAKE UP!' he screamed.
Hiei nearly fell out the window he'd been sleeping in, but he caught himself just in time. He blinked.
'Koenma?'
'Finally! I need you to round up Shuuichi, and if you want to bring Shadow, Yusuke, and Kuwabara along, get them too, but I need at least Shuuichi in Reikai as soon as you can get him here. Preferably within the hour.'
'Why? What's going on?'
'I think I have a way to get back Kurama as we know him.'
'What?! Okay... Well... We'll be there soon,' Hiei said. He closed off his telepathic channel because he didn't want Koenma pestering him anymore. Picking up his discarded shirt, he walked towards Shadow's room, pulling on the shirt as he went.
"Shadow? Get your lazy butt out here, we've got to go to Reikai!" Hiei yelled. He waited for a minute and when she didn't come out, he pushed open the door, which was surprisingly unlocked.
Shadow was curled up on her bed with a pillow over her head, sound asleep. Hiei rolled his eyes.
"Shadow, get up," he said. She didn't move. Annoyed, Hiei grabbed the pillow off her head and hit her with it. She moaned.
"Leave me alone," she muttered. She rolled over and opened her eyes. She saw Hiei, standing there with his hands in his pockets. "What are you doing in my room?! Who invited you? Haven't you ever considered the possibility that I might be doing something that is none of your business? Honestly, you're just as bad as that stupid fox!"
"Am not! I didn't pick the lock, and I didn't sleep with you."
"You were thinking about it."
"Was not! I yelled through the door and you didn't wake up, so I came in and hit you with a pillow. We have to take Shuuichi to Reikai," Hiei said.
"What? Why?"
"Koenma thinks he has a way to recombine them," Hiei answered. Shadow's eyes lit up.
"Really?"
Hiei nodded. Shadow squealed.
"YES!!! FINALLY!!!"
"It really hasn't been that long, has it?"
"I don't know, but one hour around Youko seems like about twenty years, especially if you're me," Shadow said. "Getting harassed and whatnot."
"Yes, well I'm not you, and other than Youko's insane sex craze, I think he's perfectly fine," Hiei answered.
"Pfft. You would," she muttered.
"What?! What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Oooh, nothing," Shadow said. It was obvious from the tone of her voice that she had been implying something.'
"Were you implying that I'm gay?"
"I dunno. Maybe," Shadow said, rocking back and forth on her feet with her hands behind her back. In a second, Hiei grabbed a pillow off Shadow's bed and whacked her upside the head with it.
"Ow! Hey, that wasn't nice!"
"Boo hoo," Hiei said sarcastically. He turned to walk out of the room. "Hurry up, we're leaving as soon as I can find Shuuichi."
Hiei found the boy in the living room, asleep on the couch. The TV was on, and the remote control was in Shuuichi's hand.
"Shuuichi, wake up," Hiei said, shaking him gently. The redhead stirred and opened one emerald green eye.
"Hiei?"
"Yeah, get up. We're going to Reikai," Hiei said. He took the remote from Shuuichi's hand and turned off the TV.
"Why?"
"We're going to get you help," Hiei said, phrasing it as best he could.
"Help?"
"Yeah. Don't worry, it's for the better. Come along," Hiei said. He went to the bootom of the stairs. "SHADOW, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!!!"
A second later, Shadow came running down the stairs wearing all black, as usual. Only, the strange thing was that she was wearing one of Hiei's many identical cloaks.
"Shadow. Where did you get that? It's mine, am I right?"
"Pfft. Mine now. Let's go!" Shadow said. "Onward to the spirit people's land!"
Hiei rolled his eyes and led the way out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they arrived at Reikai, Koenma led the three of them to the prison cell where Youko and the two forest demons were. The kitsune was still sleeping peacefully in the corner.
"Aya informed me that she and Koji might be able to help. They have some special technique dealing with souls, and if they modify it a bit, they should be able to reverse what happened in the first place," Koenma informed the three.
"Should be?" Hiei asked suspiciously.
"There are some risks," Aya said, stepping forward.
"Like what?"
"Well, the worst is that one or the other of them will die, or become a soulless shell, incapable of thought or feelings," Aya said, quickly adding, "but the probability of that is very small."
"How small?" Shadow asked.
"About one in a thousand," Aya answered.
"Oh... And what is the best bad thing that can happen?"
"Minor memory loss. But I'm sure everything will go smoothly if we have plenty of time to inspect both of them," the woman said confidently.
"Well, what do you think?" Koenma asked.
"I'll do it," Shuuichi said. "I know I'm part of this, and it's important to you... I guess it should be important to me, but I don't remember what you're trying to put back to normal. I don't know what normal is, I mean."
"Good. Aya, Koji, I'll give you your time with the two of them..." Koenma said. "I'm glad we're finally going to get back the Kurama we know..."
"What? Aren't you going to ask what ~I~ think of it?"
Nobody had noticed Youko wake up. Probably because he hadn't let on that he was awake. He sat up, glaring at them.
"I don't appreciate being shoved into this like I have no choice," he continued. "You could at least ask if I agree, and ~then~ force me into it when I say no."
"Well what would the point in that be? We knew you weren't going to agree, and even if we hadn't known, you just said it, so what's the point in asking?" Shadow pointed out. Youko turned to her.
"Hello, Shadow. Came up to visit, huh? Or maybe you just like seeing me in a prison cell," he said dryly.
"Nope. I came up because Hiei practically dragged me out of bed and brought me here. And besides, if this all works, this is the last time I'll see you for a while, so I might as well have come."
"What, do you actually ~care~ that you won't see me?"
"Hmm... Not really. It's not like you're going to die or anything. Hopefully," Shadow added.
"Yes, hopefully..."
The surfer dude still hadn't left, and was therefore still sitting in the same place he had been for hours while he tortured Youko with his horrible speech and stories. He looked quite confused.
"Dude, you mean, like... You hate each other...?"
"Ah. Surfer dude, I forgot all about you, sorry. You'd best be leaving. This is nothing a normal human would understand..." Koenma said.
"Dude. Okay, like... I'll go then." The surfer dude left.
"Okay. Aya, how much time will you need with them before you can perform the technique?"
"I'm not sure. Not very long, perhaps an hour total."
"Come with me," Koenma said, opening the cell door. "All three of you."
He led the way down the wall with Aya, Koji, and Shuuichi right behind him. Youko, Shadow, and Hiei hung back a couple feet.
"Have fun?" Hiei asked. Youko rolled his eyes.
"Shut up, Jaganshi," the kitsune said dryly, annoyed enough to call Hiei by his last name.
"Did you miss Shadow?" Hiei teased.
Youko looked down at Shadow. "You know, I was hoping to see her again before I got fused back into that wretched human body..."
"Yes, yes, go figure," Shadow muttered.
"And not for the reason you might think," Youko said. Shadow stopped dead. Hiei and Youko turned to look at her.
"What is it?" Hiei asked.
"What reason might you be talking about, fox?" Shadow asked. "If you're not wanting to see me for your perverted reasons... Then..."
"I wanted to yell at you. You know, I have managed to evade prison for all my life, then suddenly one puny little girl has to go and be a crybaby tattle-tale to the Prince of Reikai," Youko snapped. He changed his voice to imitate a baby. He pointed at no one in particular and made it look like he was about to cry.
" 'Koenma-sama, Youko killed a human in the fo'west!!! He killed him dead!!! Put him in pwison fo' da west of his life, pwease Koenma-sama!!! That way, he won't be able to sexually hawass me anymo' and I'll be safe to caywee on my affair with Hiei!' " he mocked, jumping from one foot to the other lightly.
"I AM NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THAT BAKA!!!" Shadow and Hiei screamed simultaneously, pointing at each other. Youko's eyes sparkled.
"Yes, well if you weren't, then why did you avoid me? We all know I'm better than Hiei, and unless you were already claimed by somebody, then why would you want to avoid ~me~?" Youko taunted.
"BETTER IN WHAT WAY, BAKA FOX?!" Hiei snapped.
Shadow shuddered. In saying that, Youko had made a sort of challenge to Hiei and she was afraid that solving the challenge would involve her in more ways than one. She tapped Hiei on the shoulder lightly.
"Hiei?"
He ignored her. "Answer me, fox!"
"Well, I'm more intelligent... A better fighter... I've got more experience. In many, many fields..."
"Is that fields as in a literal field, what with the grass and whatnot, or fields such as science, math, martial arts...?" Shadow asked. Again, she was ignored.
"I won't argue with intelligence, because that's obvious," Hiei said grudingly. "But a better fighter?! That's crap!!! You may have more experience, but that doesn't make you stronger!!!"
"Weren't you talking about why I would prefer Hiei over you?" Shadow said loudly. Youko's ear twitched.
"Yes, Shadow, we were. I was still on that topic, but Hiei seems to have strayed off into some la-la land or something," Youko said dryly. Hiei turned red.
"FINE! Why would you be so much better than me that Shadow would want you more than me?" Hiei asked, deciding that Youko wouldn't be able to think of many reasons. He was wrong.
Youko smiled. "I'm sexy..."
Hiei's eye twitched. Shadow's eyes got slightly bigger.
"Loving..."
Hiei snorted.
"Gentle..."
Hiei coughed. Shadow was shivering.
"Like I said before, more experienced in many fields, which include seduction, and love," Youko said slyly. Shadow's jaw dropped.
Hiei was on the verge of something, though anybody watching wouldn't be able to tell. It looked a bit like he was either going to throw up, blow something up, or pass out on the floor.
"Not to mention I'm much better in bed," Youko said. This last part was too much. Shadow passed out.
"Good going, baka!" Hiei snapped.
Koenma, Aya, Koji, and Shuuichi hadn't even noticed the trio stop, and were far, far ahead by that point, so they hadn't heard a single thing anybody said, which was definitely for the best.
"What? I can't help it if she passed out from the sudden realization that I really ~am~ 800 times better than you, and she can't believe she's wasted so much time on you," Youko said. Hiei fumed.
"She hasn't wasted ANY time on me! And if she did think of me that way, it wouldn't be a waste of time!" Hiei snapped. Youko swished his tail.
"Well, of course you would say that," he said dryly. "But that doesn't make it true. When she wakes up, we'll ask her who she would prefer."
"Well you sound quite confident, baka fox," Hiei snapped. "In case you didn't notice, she was furious when you slept with her. She was plotting to kill you. The only thing that kept her from it was the hope that soon you would finally be recombined into the human body and be back to the normal Kurama she knows and actually might care about!"
"Oh? So she likes me when I'm in a human body, but she doesn't like me in my more sexy demon form?" Youko asked skeptically.
"Actually, yes. Because when you're in the human body, combined, Kurama is not a pervert. He does not hit on her, he does not sleep with her without her permission, he does not steal anything, eat her angelfish, annoy her constantly with suggestive looks, or list ways that he's better than me!!!" Hiei screamed.
"Hm... I guess that is true," Youko said thoughtfully.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Hiei and Youko spun around to see Koenma standing at the end of the hallway.
"GET MOVING!!! Why is Shadow unconscious!?"
Hiei pointed at Youko instantly. Koenma nodded.
"Well, drag her along anyway, we don't want to leave her in the prison. Now COME!!!" he yelled. Youko lazily walked along, leaving Hiei to carry Shadow. Of course, he had no problem with that, since she wasn't ~that~ much bigger than himself, so he gathered her up and trailed along after the fox.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Youko, Shuuichi, Aya, and Koji were left alone for an hour. During that hour, Shadow woke up and was quite happy that Youko was nowhere nearby.
"Are you sure we can trust these forest demon people? Who's to say that they aren't in there right now murdering Youko and Shuuichi and hiding their mangled corpses in the walls?" Hiei asked. Koenma's eyes got big.
"They haven't got any criminal records at all. They're healer demons, believe it or not," Koenma answered. Hiei nodded.
"I still don't trust them," he muttered.
"Shut up," Koenma retorted.
"Excuse ME?"
"I told you to shut up, and you'd best listen. Oh! Here comes Aya." Koenma walked over to greet Aya. They talked for a few minutes before the prince called Hiei and Shadow over.
"They're ready to start," he said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you noticed how my stories have got a bit more perverted? I had to up the rating on this one to PG-13... Just to be safe... Sorry. It's Youko's fault. Blame the fox!!! It's all his fault!!! Always his fault!!! Blame him!!!
No, I'm not dissing Youko, he's cool. But I need somebody to blame other than myself!!! I'm never responsible for anything!!!
.
REJOICE, FOR TALK LIKE YODA I DO!!! *gets punched in the head by a slightly annoyed 2-foot-tall green munchkin-lookin' thing with pointy ears, which shouts, 'TALK LIKE ME YOU SHALL NOT, UNIQUE I AM!!!' and gets the nice reply of 'F*** OFF, LIL' MUNCHKIN!!!' accompanied by a boot to the head*
(Yes, I ~am~ proud of being overly violent, thank you very much. Disclaimer: I do not own Yoda! Or Star Wards! I mean... Star Wars! I just talk like Yoda a lot and am, at the present moment, on a small chocolate high... Weeeeee!!!)
REJOICE, FOR SHUT UP I WILL AND START SHALL THE STORY!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER SEVEN
A Possible Solution!
(Rejoice, for here is a possible solution! *blows a trumpet and gets hit in
the head with a basket ball thrown by our dear little fire youkai, Hiei
Jaganshi...)
"Reikai prison. Have fun," Koenma said as he locked Youko and the two forest demons, Aya and Koji, into a cell together. "Ah. Oh. Youko, I need you to give me the seeds that I know you keep with you. All of them."
"What? ... Agh..." Youko muttered. He reached up and pulled quite a few seeds out of his hair.
"I expect these back when I get out of here," he said as he put his hand through the bars to give the seeds to Koenma. "If I don't get ~all of them~ back, you're going to be sorry."
"Yes, I'm sure," Koenma said dryly, taking the seeds. "Now don't try anything."
He walked down the hall, leaving Youko alone with Aya and Koji. They were sitting together on one side of the cell. Youko turned to look at them.
"Well, I guess we're stuck together for a while, right?" Aya said miserably. "We might as well get to know each other..."
"No, we might as well ~not~," Youko retorted. He leaned against the bars and closed his eyes. "Shadow is going to be quite miserable the next time she sees me..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shadow was dancing around her house like she had just won 8 trillion dollars. Occasionally she would grab somebody (usually Hiei) by the shoulders and scream in his face, "YOUKO'S IN PRISON! GONE!!! I'M FREE!!!"
That unfortunate person would then walk away miserably wiping spit off his face, or coughing and muttering about Shadow's bad breath, which she did not have, but whoever the unfortunate person was, he just got put in a really bad mood, so he said she had bad breath. She wouldn't notice, because she was too busy dancing and squealing with happiness.
This went on for at least half an hour before Hiei finally got sick of it. The next time she grabbed his shoulders, he slapped her in the face and screamed at her that they got the idea and were quite frankly very sick of her being so happy, they almost liked it better when she was living in constant fear of the perverted fox and were about to go bail him out just so she would shut up.
She shut up.
Instead of screaming and dancing for the next half an hour, she sulked around glaring at Hiei. Finally, Koenma came back and she stopped sulking and screaming and doing anything because he wanted to talk to them, and she didn't have time to be sulking and screaming.
"Okay, I think we need to start thinking of how to get Kurama back to how we know him. Youko soul, human body, right?" he said. Yusuke and Hiei nodded. Shadow agreed so fully that she nodded so hard her head was in danger of coming disconnected from her spinal cord.
"Any ideas?"
"Why don't we just have Youko do what he did sixteen years ago when he was born into the human body?" Hiei suggested. "I know ~he~ won't cooperate with that on his own, but I'm sure we could think of something to get him to cooperate."
"Yeah, something involving Shadow..." Yusuke muttered.
"I THOUGHT ONCE HE WAS GONE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ANY MORE PERVERTED JOKES, YUSUKE! BUT NOOO, YOU JUST ~HAD~ TO GO AND SAY THAT, DIDN'T YOU?" Shadow screamed. "WHY DO YOU THINK I TOLD ON HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE? TO GET RID OF HIM AND HIS PERVERTED MIND! Perv..."
"Well, Yusuke's right..." Hiei whispered.
"I DON'T CARE!"
"Okay, boys, let's try to find another way before we force Shadow into anything..." Koenma said.
"You'd better find another way or I'm afraid Youko will stay in prison for the rest of his stupid life, and Shuuichi will be stuck as a human, cuz I am NOT about to be used as a bribe," Shadow hissed.
"Of course not," Hiei said. "Let's think of something else. Koenma, do you know anything about the possibility of finding another demon like the one who originally separated them? One who could do that whole soul deal to take out Youko's soul and put it in Shuuichi?"
"No, but I could investigate. I think it would be a good thing to know EXACTLY what Youko did the first time, sixteen years ago. I mean, he's said that he tore his soul from his body, but there's got to be something more than that, right?"
"Possibly. I wouldn't know. I've never been that desperate..." Hiei said lazily. Shadow smiled.
"I'll ask him about it... I think once we have that information and have more to work off of, we'll have more chance of figuring it out," Koenma said. "I'll go do that now. You just continue on with your normal lives as best you can until I get back."
With that, Koenma vanished. Poofies. Hiei sighed.
"Well, hopefully we'll have Kurama back to normal soon... Until then... I don't know. But right now, I'm going to bed," he said. He walked up the stairs. Shadow plopped down on the couch to watch TV for the next 6 hours straight.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Koenma walked down the halls of Reikai prison until he came to Youko's cell. The kitsune had his back against the bars, but he noticed Koenma coming. His ear twitched, but he didn't move.
Aya and Koji were across the cell, facing towards Youko. They saw Koenma stop outside.
"What do you want, Koenma?" Youko said. Koenma hadn't even said anything.
"Ah. I wanted to talk to you, Youko," he said.
"Well, I kind of figured that, baka... No, I thought you came up here just to stand there and stare at us," the fox said sarcastically.
"Youko, I need to ask you some questions, and you had better answer them truthfully, and without sarcasm."
"That's nice."
Koenma nearly exploded. "ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?!"
"No. Not really."
"YOUKO KURAMA, YOU REALLY NEED TO GET A LIFE!!!"
"No, I like my life just fine how it is."
"Oh? You enjoy being in prison?"
"Not particularly, but otherwise my life has been perfectly fine and dandy," Youko said dryly.
"Oh. That's... Wait! I didn't come up here to talk about your life being fine and dandy!!! God, must you go and change the subject on me?!"
"Yes, yes indeed I must. But technically I wasn't changing the subject, since you never really gave a definite subject to change," Youko said dryly. He had his eyes closed and wasn't even facing Koenma. Only Aya and Koji could tell he was thoroughly enjoying pissing the kid off.
"Well here's the subject: You."
"WELL THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT, DIPSHIT!"
"Not you, like... Never mind."
"Okay!" Youko started neverminding. He whistled some strange song, completely ignoring Koenma. Finally getting sick of the stupid fox's stupid stupidity, he stopped yelling and started thinking.
He came to a decision and walked away. Once he was out of the prison area, Youko sighed and stopped whistling.
"How can you be like that to the Prince of Reikai?!" Koji asked. "That's extremely disrespectful, and he could just kill you anytime he wanted. You're already in prison, all he's got to do is order your death."
"He wouldn't do that, baka," Youko said.
"How do you know?"
"Because he needs me. I'm a spirit detective, of sorts..."
"What?! Then why are you in prison?!"
"Must I explain my life to you? Because if I must, then you'd better get comfortable; I've lived over a thousand years!" Youko snapped, sounding annoyed.
"No, that's quite okay..." Aya said.
"Good." Youko's ear twitched. "Oh, what now?!"
Koenma came walking back down the corridor, followed by a guy wearing clothes suitable for Florida or Hawaii or other such tropical place, carrying a surf board under one arm.
"Oh... God!" Youko muttered, recognizing the guy as the random surfer dude from the forest. They guy he had killed. Oh, yay. "What is ~he~ doing here?"
"Youko, since you are being an uncooperative little twit, I have decided that, since you are in a prison cell with no plants or seeds anywhere nearby to use as weapons and are threfore defenseless, I am going to put this surfer guy that you murdered outside your cell to bother you until you agree to answer my questions. Have fun," Koenma said. He walked away, leaving the surfer dude outside Youko's cell.
"Hey, man, I remember you! You, like... Killed me! Ya know? It was pretty... radical... You just... killed me... I guess now I'm, like... dead. Right? So, I see you like... Got thrown in prison for your like... crime, man. Pretty radical, no?"
"No."
"Dude, I totally dig that attitude, man! That's like, sweet! Tubular! Dig it?"
Youko slid down the bars and sat down, prepared to use whatever means neccesary to block out the surfer dude.
"Hey, you know, I'm sure it'll be like, pretty cool to be dead and all that, like, stuff, you know, but I'm totally gonna miss being alive. Like, totally. See, because back when I was actually, you know... Alive... I could surf, like... all the time. It was pretty tubular. Like, once, there was this like... hurricane coming, and I was like... totally fueled up to go like... surfing that day, so I just... went anyway, you dig what I'm sayin'? Well, those waves were like... big. Real big. They had to be at least 75 feet tall! I went out surfing, and..."
Youko whimpered and covered his ears, but the surfer dude's voice still got in. He had no choice but to listen to the amazing repetitiveness of the guys 'like,' 'radical,' 'tubular,' and other such words that he seemed to love. And also the unbelievably annoying phrase, 'Dig it.'
"So I just, like, dove right into the water onto that like... gimungously big shark's back and stabbed it to death with like... a Q-Tip. Dude... And when I was sure it was like... totally, completely, radically dead, I jumped back up to the boat, which had to be, like... 300 feet, with that shark on my, like... back. It was pretty radical. Dig it?" the dude was saying. Youko whimpered again and slid down until he was lying on the floor, still trying to hold his ears closed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shadow was just going upstairs when Koenma's voice floated into her head telepathically.
"Hey Shadow!"
"Hey Koenma. Did you get anything?"
"No. But I'm working on it."
"That's just great. Knowing Youko, you'll be waiting a long time before he gives you any information that'll take away his freedom," Shadow muttered.
"Oh, don't be so sure, Shadow. I have my methods."
"Oh really? Care to inform me?"
"Remember that surfer dude he killed to get him in prison in the first place?"
"Yes."
"Well I put that guy outside Youko's cell and told him to keep talking for as long as he could about anything he wanted to. Youko will be talking in no time," Koenma said. "He can't hold out long with that incredibly annoying dude there, talking nonstop."
"Go Koenma!"
"Yes, I'm ingenius, aren't I?"
"No, but you have your moments," Shadow teased. "Okay, take a hike, I'm going to sleep."
"Right..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four hours later, Youko was still holding up. He was curled up in a ball with his hands clamped over his ears and his eyes squeezed closed, but he was still alive. Koenma came to check on him.
"Hello, surfer dude!" Koenma said cheerfully. The dude stopped talking and looked up.
"Oh, hey, Junior!"
"Right... Youko, how are you doing?" Koenma asked, with a 'ha-ha, you are suffering' tone in his voice. Youko opened one eye and looked up at Koenma. "You don't look too well."
"I'm not. This surfer dude is just bringing brutal, bloody murder visions into my head... Not to mention the fact that the way this guy talks is the most annoying thing I have ever heard..." he muttered. Koenma smiled.
"Ready to answer my questions yet?"
"It depends on what they are," Youko said cautiously.
"How exactly did you separate yourself sixteen years ago and enter the human body?" Koenma asked. Youko relaxed a bit.
"It's too hard to explain."
"Could you do it again and still survive?"
"Perhaps. Is that your grand solution? To torture me with this surfer dude until I agree to recombine with Shuuichi?"
"Well, if the surfer dude doesn't work, I have several other methods..." Koenma said thoughtfully.
"Such as?"
"Well, I don't want to use violence... I prefer to torture the mind rather than the body in these cases..."
"How kind of you, but I'd probably hold up better against pain," Youko replied.
"Well, that's why I'm not using pain. And besides, I don't want to hurt you. You're a nice enough person to anybody who is not a girl or your opponent in a fight," Koenma said. Youko snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Speaking of girls, is Shadow enjoying herself without me there?" Youko asked.
"Yes, quite," Koenma answered. He saw something flash in Youko's eyes that he wasn't too sure that he liked. He quickly changed the subject. "Youko, it is very important that you and Shuuichi recombine. If it is possible for you to do whatever you did 16 years ago, now, I ask that you do."
Koenma paused. "At least you'll get out of prison if you do. Isn't that worth it?"
"No. I'll be imprisoned inside the human body, which is worse. I might be able to recombine on my own, but I'd rather not risk it."
"Risk it? What do you mean?"
"Sixteen years ago, I hid myself inside an unborn human baby. When that baby was born, it was me. Shuuichi Minamino, as he is now, may not be able to recieve my soul the same way I combined with Shiori Minamino sixteen years ago."
"I see..." Koenma whispered. "At least you have a passable reason and a good explaination, rather than not wanting to. Why didn't you tell me that in the first place? It would have saved you a lot of suffering from this surfer dude."
"You never asked!"
"You didn't give me the opportunity! You just kept on ignoring me, or being sarcastic, and you made me mad!"
"Boo hoo," Youko retorted.
"Children! Let's not fight, please," Aya said. She walked up to the bars. "Koenma-sama, could I please speak with you privately?"
"What about?"
Aya's eyes turned to Youko. He noticed and raised one eyebrow curiously.
"I think I can help," Aya said. Koenma nodded.
"Youko, move. You're leaning on the door," he said. The kitsune rolled his eyes and walked to the other side of the cell. Koenma unlocked the door and let Aya step out, then he quickly closed and locked it again.
Youko knew he could easily pop the lock and take off, but he decided there was no point. It wasn't really like he was a criminal... He was, but he was gaurenteed freedom, because Koenma needed the fused form, Shuuichi Kurama, in the reikai tantei group. Youko's intelligence wouldn't do the tantei any good locked up in prison, but Youko wouldn't be the same friend, offering kind advice to help the group, unless he was combined with the human.
Koenma and Aya were gone for at least half an hour. When they finally came back, Youko was sleeping peacefully in the corner. Koji walked to the front of the cell to meet his companion.
"Well?" he asked. "What's your decision?"
"I believe I will allow you to try it," Koenma said, closing the cell door quietly. "Let him rest for now, we'll talk it over when he's awake."
After leaving the cell, Koenma went back to his office and called to Hiei telepathically.
'Hiei?'
There was no answer. He tried again, louder. This time he got some random thought that drifted across Hiei's telepathic wavelengths. All it was was a rather bloody threat, spattered with an abundance swear words, but it was seemingly directed at nobody.
Koenma decided Hiei was asleep, because there was no way that he would let something like that just drift in his mind if he was conscious. He would find somebody to direct it at and say it.
He tried Shadow. 'Shadow?! Are you awake?'
He got an incoherent mumble. 'SHADOW!'
'Hnnnn... Call back in two years...'
"Hn?" Koenma muttered out loud. "She's been around Hiei to long." He tried Hiei again. It was really quite important that he got through to somebody in that house.
'HIEI JAGANSHI, WAKE UP!' he screamed.
Hiei nearly fell out the window he'd been sleeping in, but he caught himself just in time. He blinked.
'Koenma?'
'Finally! I need you to round up Shuuichi, and if you want to bring Shadow, Yusuke, and Kuwabara along, get them too, but I need at least Shuuichi in Reikai as soon as you can get him here. Preferably within the hour.'
'Why? What's going on?'
'I think I have a way to get back Kurama as we know him.'
'What?! Okay... Well... We'll be there soon,' Hiei said. He closed off his telepathic channel because he didn't want Koenma pestering him anymore. Picking up his discarded shirt, he walked towards Shadow's room, pulling on the shirt as he went.
"Shadow? Get your lazy butt out here, we've got to go to Reikai!" Hiei yelled. He waited for a minute and when she didn't come out, he pushed open the door, which was surprisingly unlocked.
Shadow was curled up on her bed with a pillow over her head, sound asleep. Hiei rolled his eyes.
"Shadow, get up," he said. She didn't move. Annoyed, Hiei grabbed the pillow off her head and hit her with it. She moaned.
"Leave me alone," she muttered. She rolled over and opened her eyes. She saw Hiei, standing there with his hands in his pockets. "What are you doing in my room?! Who invited you? Haven't you ever considered the possibility that I might be doing something that is none of your business? Honestly, you're just as bad as that stupid fox!"
"Am not! I didn't pick the lock, and I didn't sleep with you."
"You were thinking about it."
"Was not! I yelled through the door and you didn't wake up, so I came in and hit you with a pillow. We have to take Shuuichi to Reikai," Hiei said.
"What? Why?"
"Koenma thinks he has a way to recombine them," Hiei answered. Shadow's eyes lit up.
"Really?"
Hiei nodded. Shadow squealed.
"YES!!! FINALLY!!!"
"It really hasn't been that long, has it?"
"I don't know, but one hour around Youko seems like about twenty years, especially if you're me," Shadow said. "Getting harassed and whatnot."
"Yes, well I'm not you, and other than Youko's insane sex craze, I think he's perfectly fine," Hiei answered.
"Pfft. You would," she muttered.
"What?! What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Oooh, nothing," Shadow said. It was obvious from the tone of her voice that she had been implying something.'
"Were you implying that I'm gay?"
"I dunno. Maybe," Shadow said, rocking back and forth on her feet with her hands behind her back. In a second, Hiei grabbed a pillow off Shadow's bed and whacked her upside the head with it.
"Ow! Hey, that wasn't nice!"
"Boo hoo," Hiei said sarcastically. He turned to walk out of the room. "Hurry up, we're leaving as soon as I can find Shuuichi."
Hiei found the boy in the living room, asleep on the couch. The TV was on, and the remote control was in Shuuichi's hand.
"Shuuichi, wake up," Hiei said, shaking him gently. The redhead stirred and opened one emerald green eye.
"Hiei?"
"Yeah, get up. We're going to Reikai," Hiei said. He took the remote from Shuuichi's hand and turned off the TV.
"Why?"
"We're going to get you help," Hiei said, phrasing it as best he could.
"Help?"
"Yeah. Don't worry, it's for the better. Come along," Hiei said. He went to the bootom of the stairs. "SHADOW, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!!!"
A second later, Shadow came running down the stairs wearing all black, as usual. Only, the strange thing was that she was wearing one of Hiei's many identical cloaks.
"Shadow. Where did you get that? It's mine, am I right?"
"Pfft. Mine now. Let's go!" Shadow said. "Onward to the spirit people's land!"
Hiei rolled his eyes and led the way out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they arrived at Reikai, Koenma led the three of them to the prison cell where Youko and the two forest demons were. The kitsune was still sleeping peacefully in the corner.
"Aya informed me that she and Koji might be able to help. They have some special technique dealing with souls, and if they modify it a bit, they should be able to reverse what happened in the first place," Koenma informed the three.
"Should be?" Hiei asked suspiciously.
"There are some risks," Aya said, stepping forward.
"Like what?"
"Well, the worst is that one or the other of them will die, or become a soulless shell, incapable of thought or feelings," Aya said, quickly adding, "but the probability of that is very small."
"How small?" Shadow asked.
"About one in a thousand," Aya answered.
"Oh... And what is the best bad thing that can happen?"
"Minor memory loss. But I'm sure everything will go smoothly if we have plenty of time to inspect both of them," the woman said confidently.
"Well, what do you think?" Koenma asked.
"I'll do it," Shuuichi said. "I know I'm part of this, and it's important to you... I guess it should be important to me, but I don't remember what you're trying to put back to normal. I don't know what normal is, I mean."
"Good. Aya, Koji, I'll give you your time with the two of them..." Koenma said. "I'm glad we're finally going to get back the Kurama we know..."
"What? Aren't you going to ask what ~I~ think of it?"
Nobody had noticed Youko wake up. Probably because he hadn't let on that he was awake. He sat up, glaring at them.
"I don't appreciate being shoved into this like I have no choice," he continued. "You could at least ask if I agree, and ~then~ force me into it when I say no."
"Well what would the point in that be? We knew you weren't going to agree, and even if we hadn't known, you just said it, so what's the point in asking?" Shadow pointed out. Youko turned to her.
"Hello, Shadow. Came up to visit, huh? Or maybe you just like seeing me in a prison cell," he said dryly.
"Nope. I came up because Hiei practically dragged me out of bed and brought me here. And besides, if this all works, this is the last time I'll see you for a while, so I might as well have come."
"What, do you actually ~care~ that you won't see me?"
"Hmm... Not really. It's not like you're going to die or anything. Hopefully," Shadow added.
"Yes, hopefully..."
The surfer dude still hadn't left, and was therefore still sitting in the same place he had been for hours while he tortured Youko with his horrible speech and stories. He looked quite confused.
"Dude, you mean, like... You hate each other...?"
"Ah. Surfer dude, I forgot all about you, sorry. You'd best be leaving. This is nothing a normal human would understand..." Koenma said.
"Dude. Okay, like... I'll go then." The surfer dude left.
"Okay. Aya, how much time will you need with them before you can perform the technique?"
"I'm not sure. Not very long, perhaps an hour total."
"Come with me," Koenma said, opening the cell door. "All three of you."
He led the way down the wall with Aya, Koji, and Shuuichi right behind him. Youko, Shadow, and Hiei hung back a couple feet.
"Have fun?" Hiei asked. Youko rolled his eyes.
"Shut up, Jaganshi," the kitsune said dryly, annoyed enough to call Hiei by his last name.
"Did you miss Shadow?" Hiei teased.
Youko looked down at Shadow. "You know, I was hoping to see her again before I got fused back into that wretched human body..."
"Yes, yes, go figure," Shadow muttered.
"And not for the reason you might think," Youko said. Shadow stopped dead. Hiei and Youko turned to look at her.
"What is it?" Hiei asked.
"What reason might you be talking about, fox?" Shadow asked. "If you're not wanting to see me for your perverted reasons... Then..."
"I wanted to yell at you. You know, I have managed to evade prison for all my life, then suddenly one puny little girl has to go and be a crybaby tattle-tale to the Prince of Reikai," Youko snapped. He changed his voice to imitate a baby. He pointed at no one in particular and made it look like he was about to cry.
" 'Koenma-sama, Youko killed a human in the fo'west!!! He killed him dead!!! Put him in pwison fo' da west of his life, pwease Koenma-sama!!! That way, he won't be able to sexually hawass me anymo' and I'll be safe to caywee on my affair with Hiei!' " he mocked, jumping from one foot to the other lightly.
"I AM NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THAT BAKA!!!" Shadow and Hiei screamed simultaneously, pointing at each other. Youko's eyes sparkled.
"Yes, well if you weren't, then why did you avoid me? We all know I'm better than Hiei, and unless you were already claimed by somebody, then why would you want to avoid ~me~?" Youko taunted.
"BETTER IN WHAT WAY, BAKA FOX?!" Hiei snapped.
Shadow shuddered. In saying that, Youko had made a sort of challenge to Hiei and she was afraid that solving the challenge would involve her in more ways than one. She tapped Hiei on the shoulder lightly.
"Hiei?"
He ignored her. "Answer me, fox!"
"Well, I'm more intelligent... A better fighter... I've got more experience. In many, many fields..."
"Is that fields as in a literal field, what with the grass and whatnot, or fields such as science, math, martial arts...?" Shadow asked. Again, she was ignored.
"I won't argue with intelligence, because that's obvious," Hiei said grudingly. "But a better fighter?! That's crap!!! You may have more experience, but that doesn't make you stronger!!!"
"Weren't you talking about why I would prefer Hiei over you?" Shadow said loudly. Youko's ear twitched.
"Yes, Shadow, we were. I was still on that topic, but Hiei seems to have strayed off into some la-la land or something," Youko said dryly. Hiei turned red.
"FINE! Why would you be so much better than me that Shadow would want you more than me?" Hiei asked, deciding that Youko wouldn't be able to think of many reasons. He was wrong.
Youko smiled. "I'm sexy..."
Hiei's eye twitched. Shadow's eyes got slightly bigger.
"Loving..."
Hiei snorted.
"Gentle..."
Hiei coughed. Shadow was shivering.
"Like I said before, more experienced in many fields, which include seduction, and love," Youko said slyly. Shadow's jaw dropped.
Hiei was on the verge of something, though anybody watching wouldn't be able to tell. It looked a bit like he was either going to throw up, blow something up, or pass out on the floor.
"Not to mention I'm much better in bed," Youko said. This last part was too much. Shadow passed out.
"Good going, baka!" Hiei snapped.
Koenma, Aya, Koji, and Shuuichi hadn't even noticed the trio stop, and were far, far ahead by that point, so they hadn't heard a single thing anybody said, which was definitely for the best.
"What? I can't help it if she passed out from the sudden realization that I really ~am~ 800 times better than you, and she can't believe she's wasted so much time on you," Youko said. Hiei fumed.
"She hasn't wasted ANY time on me! And if she did think of me that way, it wouldn't be a waste of time!" Hiei snapped. Youko swished his tail.
"Well, of course you would say that," he said dryly. "But that doesn't make it true. When she wakes up, we'll ask her who she would prefer."
"Well you sound quite confident, baka fox," Hiei snapped. "In case you didn't notice, she was furious when you slept with her. She was plotting to kill you. The only thing that kept her from it was the hope that soon you would finally be recombined into the human body and be back to the normal Kurama she knows and actually might care about!"
"Oh? So she likes me when I'm in a human body, but she doesn't like me in my more sexy demon form?" Youko asked skeptically.
"Actually, yes. Because when you're in the human body, combined, Kurama is not a pervert. He does not hit on her, he does not sleep with her without her permission, he does not steal anything, eat her angelfish, annoy her constantly with suggestive looks, or list ways that he's better than me!!!" Hiei screamed.
"Hm... I guess that is true," Youko said thoughtfully.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Hiei and Youko spun around to see Koenma standing at the end of the hallway.
"GET MOVING!!! Why is Shadow unconscious!?"
Hiei pointed at Youko instantly. Koenma nodded.
"Well, drag her along anyway, we don't want to leave her in the prison. Now COME!!!" he yelled. Youko lazily walked along, leaving Hiei to carry Shadow. Of course, he had no problem with that, since she wasn't ~that~ much bigger than himself, so he gathered her up and trailed along after the fox.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Youko, Shuuichi, Aya, and Koji were left alone for an hour. During that hour, Shadow woke up and was quite happy that Youko was nowhere nearby.
"Are you sure we can trust these forest demon people? Who's to say that they aren't in there right now murdering Youko and Shuuichi and hiding their mangled corpses in the walls?" Hiei asked. Koenma's eyes got big.
"They haven't got any criminal records at all. They're healer demons, believe it or not," Koenma answered. Hiei nodded.
"I still don't trust them," he muttered.
"Shut up," Koenma retorted.
"Excuse ME?"
"I told you to shut up, and you'd best listen. Oh! Here comes Aya." Koenma walked over to greet Aya. They talked for a few minutes before the prince called Hiei and Shadow over.
"They're ready to start," he said.
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Have you noticed how my stories have got a bit more perverted? I had to up the rating on this one to PG-13... Just to be safe... Sorry. It's Youko's fault. Blame the fox!!! It's all his fault!!! Always his fault!!! Blame him!!!
No, I'm not dissing Youko, he's cool. But I need somebody to blame other than myself!!! I'm never responsible for anything!!!
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