Disclaimer: Welcome to the final game of the Harry Potter Premiere League!...JK United vs. Marauder United...We have but ten seconds of play left...What's this?...Captain JK is heading for the goal with the ball!...Keeper Marauder rushes at her...he trips over his laces...JK SCORES! JK United have won ownership over the Harry Potter series! Captain Marauder1 is disgusted...No what's this? he's grinning...Man, That's what you call true sportsmanship (That is the stupidest disclaimer I've ever written. Mind you, I've written many...)

Author's Note: And here we comes back again! Doesn't we preciousss? Oh, beg your pardon...Anyway, the last chapter received quite a review-full response...to tell you the truth I wasn't expecting much of one...I thought all of my dear readers would have forgotten about me...*sniff*...But I was wrong! Yay!

In this chapter, I freak out a bit. It is a pretty long one!

PG13 - Yeah baby!

Chapter7: Dung Suffocation

'I must say, I don't quite see how you expect to survive if you're so...I dunno...'

'Come on man, she looked so...well...unfamiliar with things...and besides, you yourself said she was so pretty...' Sirius allowed himself a wicked grin.

James groaned, 'Just because she's pretty doesn't mean we have to spare her...' he muttered. 'And you know why I think you didn't want to do anything to her? Because she was sitting next to you. You didn't want her to move from there too soon, did you?' He fixed Sirius with a penetrating glare.

It was Sirius's turn to groan. 'Fine, then' he said, anxious to wipe the glare of James's face 'To make it up to you, I'll aid you in pulling off a super prank on Lily Evans when we reach Hogwarts...' He wondered why he was saying this. It was totally contrary to what he wanted to do when he reached the castle.

James's face was re-possessed by the grin Sirius had already become familiar with. 'That's the attitude we need more of...' he said, the grin widening. Sirius wondered if he should tell him that he thought picking victims carefully was an essential part of pulling a prank, but decided that he wouldn't fare well in the ensuing debate, and did not say anything.

He wondered what to say next. A new question arising in his mind, he said 'How are we supposed to operate at Hogwarts? If we're not in the same House...things might get a little tough...'

'Hmm...' said James, looking lost in thought. 'I've heard my dad say there are several passages and hidden chambers all over the place. We could use one of them as Head Quarters...'

'Cool!' said Sirius. His mind was buzzing with their recent conversation. Head Quarters. James sure did know how to make something sound really interesting.

'I think...' said James staring at the compartment door, '...that we need a little practical exercise before Project Lily Evans...you know just a little warm up...' Sirius saw the Look materialize on his face.

'Whatever you say...' said Sirius wondering if this was a good idea. Deciding he didn't care, he swiftly said 'Have you got any material with you?'

'Just two dungbombs, and a wealth of knowledge of handy spells...'

'Tell me something I don't know...' said Sirius, the excitement in him dying. Dungbombs. And in a train. How incredibly stale. Deciding to voice his feelings, he said 'What kind of a prank would it be if you chucked a dungbomb into a compartment, and the people inside swiftly ran out (escaping the stench) and caught hold of you, and gave you a thorough black and blue beating? Would that be a prank?'

'It certainly would' said James, with a wicked smile 'If the inhabitants of the compartment were locked in with the stench...'

Sirius stared at him for a moment, digesting what he had said. 'Do you mean...' he whispered 'that you're going to lock the door after you chuck the bombs in?'

'Precisely' said James, the smile turning into a grin. 'And I must say, it will be fun to hear the sounds of groaning and moaning from inside...' he paused for a moment, and his face fell. 'What if it hurts them?' he said, sounding worried.

'Who cares?' said Sirius, excitement leaping inside him. 'Look whose sounding soft now...'

That did the trick. James stood up, and although he still looked reluctant, his face was set in a determined expression. 'Let's go do it' he said, heading for the door.

'Wait' said Sirius. It was his turn to grin wickedly. 'You have to go slow, man. Don't be reckless' James stared at him. 'What do you mean?'

'Oh you can go ahead with your prank...' said Sirius, smiling at James. 'But you'll have to do it without the dungbombs'

'Oh' James groaned. He headed for his trunk, and opened it. After rummaging for a while, he extracted a plastic bag, which seemingly contained the dungbombs. 'So, are you ready to roll?' he asked

'Aye Aye' said Sirius. 'Mission 1: Dung Suffocation' He looked at James, expecting him to laugh or say something light-hearted. To his surprise, he was staring at him with a worried expression. 'What's up, mate?' asked Sirius

'What if they do suffocate?' he asked, sounding genuinely worried. Sirius rolled his eyes. 'If they feel uneasy, they'll have the sense to open the windows, won't they...Dud...' he added in an undertone.

James continued to stare at him. 'You don't know this thing, man' he said. 'It's part of an extra powerful series of dungbombs. Drop it too near and the stink will be so unbearable...I dunno...'

'You dunno, right?' said Sirius starting to feel impatient. 'So let's get on with it.' He reached for the door. James still looked worried. 'Don't be chicken' said Sirius. 'If something happens, the people at Hogwarts will be ready to sort it out' He opened the compartment door, and walked out, James closely following him.

They walked down the train, listening closely at various compartments, searching for a suitable victim. For a moment, Sirius wondered why he was doing this. If something happened, it would be his fault. He had coaxed James into this. James had wanted to back out. He managed to half-heartedly convince himself that nothing would happen. It was just a little prank. All the same, he had a bad feeling about this.

He paused outside a compartment, where the door was a crack open. Barely audible, was a person talking. And that voice was strangely familiar. A wave of excitement engulfed Sirius as he realized who that voice belonged to.

'Well, I must say, I don't think Dumbledore is a very apt Head Master. Any person who lets in Mudblood slime like that girl who passed by some time ago cannot be called an apt headmaster...'

'Pass the bombs' whispered Sirius urgently. 'It's my brother in there...I've got to get him...' James reluctantly passed him the bag. 'Be ready with the locking spell' whispered Sirius. James nodded and extracted his wand. Pointing it at the door he inhaled deeply. 'Run the play' he whispered.

'Aye Aye' said Sirius. He stepped towards the door, the sound of Regulus's voice inside was growing more audible. Raising his leg he kicked it open.

A strange silence greeted his sudden appearance outside the door. Regulus was seated beside the window staring at Sirius with an expression of shock and fright mixed. Beside him was the boy Sirius had seen with him at Diagon Alley. Opposite them was the slimy haired boy Sirius had met on the platform and next to him was Bellatrix.

'Bippidy Bappidy Boo!' yelled Sirius, chucking the bag right between Regulus and the slimy haired boy. He banged the compartment door shut as an explosion sounded inside followed by Bellatrix's squealing. James muttered something and waved his wand, and Sirius thought he heard the door click shut.

'Let's get the shit out of here' whispered James to Sirius and they sprinted the length of the train back to their compartment.

As they entered, Sirius collapsed on the compartment. 'Geez, that was close...' he whispered, panting. 'Yeah...' said James. He looked around for a moment. 'But you can't deny, It was bloody fun'

'You bet...' said Sirius 'Especially the part where -'

He was cut short as the door opened again. It was Lily Evans, accompanied by a brown haired boy, about the same height as Sirius, who looked rather weak. Sirius and James both stared rather stupidly, first at Lily, then at the new boy, who gave them both a weak smile. He looked as if he had spent most of his life outdoors, and was rather tanned. Sirius thought he looked very fatigued, and wondered what the reason could be.

'Hello again' she said pleasantly. Sirius looked at James, and was relieved to see that he didn't seem to be looking for mischief. He was gazing at Lily, with a calculating look.

'This is Remus. Remus Lupin. We were wondering if you would mind if we sat here.'

Sirius looked at Remus and decided that this was someone he wouldn't mind sharing a seat with. Though he looked sick, his face was very pleasant and he had a friendly smile playing at his mouth. Sirius opened his mouth to say he didn't mind at all, but before he could get the words out, James was there first.

'Where were you sitting before now? Why did you leave that place?'

Lily looked straight at him. 'Well, we were sitting in a compartment further up the train, but all of a sudden it got rather smelly. So we decided to move down here...'

James stared at Sirius looking scared.

'Was it near the place where a gang of Slytherin freaks were sitting?' he blurted out.

'Erm...yeah, I think it was' said Remus.

Sirius leaned towards James. 'You didn't tell me that the stink would drift outside the bloody compartment' he whispered.

'You didn't ask' whispered back James defensively.

Sirius snorted. 'Anyway, no harm done...'

'Excuse me' said Lily. Sirius jerked his head towards her. She was frowning. 'May we know what the verdict is? We're allowed to sit or not?'

'No...I mean no problem at all!' said Sirius, hurriedly, grinning at her. It was this grin that normally made girls like Julie melt before him, but Lily stared at him with a rather suspicious expression. She changed it to a smile and seated herself next to him like before. Remus sat next to James. James was looking between Sirius and Lily, then glaring at Sirius. Sirius found himself in a rather difficult position.

They sat in silence for sometime, James occasionally glancing at Sirius, who would give him a reassuring look. Remus seemed rather silent. After a few minutes, Sirius decided he couldn't take this anymore. 'Erm...I think I'll just pay a quick visit to the toilet' he said standing up. He gave James a meaningful glance, and smiled at Lily and Remus before walking out of the compartment.

He hurried up the train to the compartment where Regulus and the others had been sitting. True to what Lily had said, a stench, rather like that of an un-cleaned toilet was drifting through the air. Sirius could hear slight moaning from the compartment within. He felt rather frightened.

He heard footsteps and instinctively swung around. It was James. 'What's the situation?' asked James.

'Not that I can describe it' said Sirius. 'All I can hear is a kind of moaning from within...doesn't sound too good'

James looked worried again. 'Do you think we should open the door, you know, so they can have some air to breathe?'

'And unleash stink all over the train? No, thank you...' said Sirius.

'Oh yeah' said James.

'I wonder how they are going to get out eventually, though' said Sirius.

'You should have thought about that before you chucked those bloody bombs in-'

'Yeah I know I should have' said Sirius. He was beginning to feel lousy. And frightened at the same time. 'Well, you can't say Mission1 was not a success...'

'Success? And at what price?'

'Nothing...as yet'

'Erm....excuse me?' Sirius and James jumped and looked around to see the brown-haired boy from their compartment.

'Er - Remus! What are you doing here?'

'I decided I needed a visit to the toilet as well, so I thought I'd follow you' he smiled. 'But it seems you weren't entirely truthful'

'You mean you heard everything?' asked Sirius nervously.

'Enough to understand that two very naughty boys have been running around chucking dungbombs into compartments' he said, the smile widening into a grin. 'I did pick up a few hints from your whispered conversation back in the compartment, though'

'I thought it was a whispered conversation' said James.

'And I think you need to brush up on your whispering skills, their rather rusty at the moment, my friend'

James groaned. Sirius felt like doing the same.

'So did the girl hear everything too?'

'Yes, I suppose Lily did' said Remus.

'That's why she was frowning her face off at me' Sirius allowed himself to groan.

Remus looked at the two of them. 'I think, it would be safer for you back in the compartment' he said. 'You don't want to be caught at the scene of the crime...'

'Scene of the crime?' exclaimed James. 'What the...'

'Let's go James ' said Sirius. 'He's right'

As they trudged back to the compartment, Sirius felt strange. He felt like he had committed a crime. Was the crime worthy of expulsion from Hogwarts? Sirius felt a lump in his throat. If it was, James would be expelled too. And all because of him.

As they entered the compartment, James glared at Lily.

'Going to tell on us, are you?'

Sirius stared out of the window feeling as low as it was possible for him to feel. James sat opposite him, shaking with rage. The argument between Lily and James had gone as far as an argument could go. It had ended with Lily's storming out of the compartment, leaving Sirius, James and Remus staring at each other stupidly.

'You were a little insulting, James' said Remus, after a few minutes of frosty silence. Sirius jerked his head from the window into the compartment.

'And what about her? Why is it that girls are allowed to do exactly as they please, and when we do the same, we're being insulting?' James spat out of the window.

'Curse on all guys' muttered Sirius.

'I'm not willing to lie down and be cursed' said James. 'I'm going to give it back to them. Project Lily Evans will be launched with extra vigor'

Sirius leaned forward and slapped him hard. He gestured furiously towards Remus, who was watching them looking surprised.

'Oh...Oh shit...why did I say that...I actually didn't mean it, you know Remus, I say things like this when I'm really emotional...'

James gave him a very artificial smile, that Sirius was sure he would see through immediately.

'Oh, I'm sure you didn't mean it' said Remus. 'Oh yeah, and I must compliment your ability to produce a very realistic smile whenever it is necessary'

'Damn' muttered Sirius to himself.

'So you too are planning more trouble?' asked Remus.

'And if we are?' said James, glaring at him.

'Oh, come on, you can trust me, I've heard enough of your plans, and you have my word, I won't tell on you'

Sirius stared at him. There was an earnest expression on his face, and Sirius felt his doubts about him melt away.

'You know what? I believe you' he said.

James had been watching Remus closely too. 'I guess I believe you too'

Remus smiled. 'Well, all I can say is I'm glad'

Sirius extended his hand. 'To make it official...' he said. Remus shook it with a grin, before shaking James's too.

The fear that Sirius had been feeling, which had disappeared for a while when he had made a new friend was fast returning as they were nearing Hogwarts.

'You know what Remus, I reckon you are going to have to launch Project Lily Evans for us, in case we're expelled...' muttered James darkly.

'I'll do nothing of the sort' said Remus. '...and besides, I dunno why you're so convinced that you're going to be expelled. After all, there isn't any direct evidence against you...unless those guys in the compartment saw you before you chucked the bomb in...'

'You know what?' said Sirius 'They did. I don't think they saw James, so I guess it'll be just me who's expelled'

'Nothing of the sorts going to happen' said James firmly. 'We are going to do something to save you, Sirius old boy'

'Yeah - I'll lend a hand too' said Remus.

'As much as I'd appreciate it, I don't really think there's anything you can do...' said Sirius feeling hopeless. 'We're reaching Hogwarts now, the first thing those guys will probably do is run to the Headmaster and tell him what I did...'

'Excuse me...' said James calmly. 'I remember telling you that that was a special dungbomb. They'll probably be unconscious in the hospital wing the whole day. The earliest that's possible for them to come around is tommorrow morning, and between now and then, there's plenty of time to do something...'

Sirius really appreciated James's comforting words. It was so great to have friends. Though James kept trying to drill confidence into him, the fear would not be put down.

Sirius returned to staring out of the window, not really noticing the spectacular sights whizzing past him, and briefly aware of conversation going on between Remus and James.

His heart began to beat furiously as the train slowed down. He wondered what James had in mind to rescue him. He hoped it would work.

Marauder's heart is beating furiously too...