Disclaimer: Marvel owns X-Men. I own dog crap. Well, not really...I own the
twins. But they may as well be as valuable as dog crap.
A/N: I was bored again. And whenever I'm bored, I either make fun of a character or bother one. This time I get to bother them all...muahahaha. Meet Jade and Jasper, twins who are named after jewels. Twins who are mutants. Twins who have absolutely useless powers.
~*~*~
"I see..." Charles said uncertainly after the twins demonstrated their powers.
Jade had a whole army of big fire ants in ranks at her feet and Jasper was buried underneath a gigantic pile of women's underwear. Both had black hair (Jade's was streaked dark green and Jasper's was highlighted red- orange) and gray eyes. They grinned identical hope-filled grins at him as they waited for him to say more.
He plastered a smile on his face and mentally reminded himself that he wasn't one who turned young mutants away...no matter how ridiculous their powers were. "Welcome to-"
"We're in?" Jasper asked.
"Yes."
"We're in!" Jade squealed excitedly. She dove into the pile of underwear to hug her brother. "I was so sure we were gonna get rejected!"
"Now why would you think that?" Charles asked.
"Well we've always been rejected for everything. I'm so glad we got accepted to your school, Professor," Jasper said.
Charles instantly felt better with his decision. "Come...you will want to meet everyone. Jasper, you may leave the underwear here. Jade, if you would be so kind as to remove those ants..."
"Sure thing, Professor." She snapped her fingers and immediately the ants marched in a single file toward the open window.
The twins followed Charles to the kitchen, where everyone else was having breakfast - or trying to. Kurt and Kitty were fighting over the last muffin while Amara threw several biscuits at Bobby after he took her bacon. Sam and Roberto were stuffing eggs into their mouths, determined not to have anything left on their plates when Jamie came around the table, asking if he could have an egg or a pancake. Rogue was picking at her food with her fork, only eating one bite every five minutes. Jean and Scott were having difficulty pouring orange juice and milk into glasses; Ray, Rahne, and Jubilee, in their mighty hot dog fight, kept bumping into the two older mutants, resulting in orange juiced floors. Storm was busy scolding Evan when he talked with his mouth full, and Logan just sat at the head of the table drinking his coffee and reading the paper, ignoring the occasional hushpuppy or sausage that flew by.
Charles blushed lightly at this behavior in front of the two new students. He gave them both an apologetic look and cleared his throat. All movement, bickering, and fighting was immediately ceased. Everyone stared at him and the twins questioningly.
"I would like you all to meet Jade and Jasper Loire, our newest recruits," Charles said.
The X-Men just stared at the twins, some looking happy, others looking embarrassed. Finally, Logan folded his paper and stood up.
"On behalf of the X-Men, I welcome you two." He looked around at the mess and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh...breakfast?"
A few of the girls giggled and they all came forward to greet the twins, some lingering at the table.
Charles gave them a minute then cut in. "Ororo, Logan. Would you two please escort Jade and Jasper to their rooms?"
"Of course," Ororo replied. "Come, this way."
~*~*~
"I think Jasper is kind of cute," Kitty told Rogue as they walked toward the Danger Room. "So, like, what do you think his power is?"
"I don't know, but you'd better not let Lance or Kurt know that what you think of the new boy. They'd see him as another rival, poor kid," Rogue replied.
"Aw, come on. Like, don't tell me that you don't think he's cute, too."
Rogue's hard look was her answer.
"Okay...maybe not."
Everyone else was waiting for them, already dressed in their training outfits. When the two girls joined the others, Logan turned to the twins.
"All right, show us what you got."
"Right."
Everyone looked on eagerly as the twins raised their arms.
"Like, do you think they have this super cool twin ability?" Kitty whispered to Rogue.
"I don't know," Rogue repeated, impatience bordering on her tone.
"Hey, here they go!" Kitty said excitedly.
They all held their breaths...only to choke when panties and bras poofed over Jasper and rained on his head. Jade was concentrating on the door. They watched as a line of fire ants marched in under her command, followed by a regiment of tarantulas and wolf spiders.
Kitty, Rahne, Jubilee, and Amara all screamed and ran for cover behind Hank, who was staring at the army of bugs in shock. Ray, Sam, Evan, Kurt, Roberto, and Jamie were over themselves in hysterical laughter at the panties around Jasper. Even Logan had to keep his lips from twitching.
"Yes," Charles said over the screaming and laughing. "Their powers are quite unusual, aren't they?"
"Uh, Professor," Jean said uncertainly. *Was it wise to accept them?*
He gave her a stern look. *We don't turn away mutants who need help, Jean.*
She flushed. *I know, but how will their powers help us when we fight enemies like Magneto?*
*You never know. They may just be useful.*
Jean (in her limited memory space) forgot for a moment that she was still connected to him and thought, *As decoys?*
*Jean...*
*Oh! Sorry, Professor!*
Ororo went over to the twins and placed a hand on each of their shoulders. "Uh...well done, you two. You have demonstrated a...very good example of control over your powers."
The twins beamed happily.
"Now that you've seen their powers, Logan," said Charles, "do you think you could fit them in your training session today?"
He gave the Professor an irritated look, but nodded. "Yeah. I think I can put them to use."
"Very good, then. I will see you all in two hours."
~*~*~
((Two hours later...))
Logan flung open the door of Charles' office. There was a furious glint in his eyes as he stomped over to the desk.
"I need to have a word with you, Chuck," he growled.
Charles idly wiped off the drops of spit that had sprayed from the angry man's mouth. "About what, Logan?"
"Those two yobbos ruined the whole session!" he roared. "The new recruits got their asses whooped because they were either frolicking around with underwear on their heads or screaming bloody hell from that insect army!"
"It wasn't just insects," Charles said calmly, trying not to smile, "there were spiders, too."
Logan pounded his fist on the desk, effectively punching a hole through it. "I'm SERIOUS!"
"I know, I know. I will speak to the twins later," Charles told him, eyeing the hole with disdain.
"NOW. Speak to them NOW."
The Professor sighed. "Very well. I will speak to them now." He continued on as Logan turned to leave, "Ah, would you be so kind as to call for repairs for the damage that has befallen my desk?"
Logan glared at the hole and huffed. "I'll see what I can do." He left and slammed the door behind him.
Charles shook his head and went back to his papers.
~*~*~
((That night...))
"OH MY GAWD! THERE'S A MILLION TARANTULAS IN THE BATHTUB!" Jubilee screamed and ran out of the bathroom.
Rogue and Kurt quickly jumped out of her way to avoid getting run over. "What?"
The Asian girl continued to scream as she shot down the corridor, pushing people out of her way.
Kitty walked up with Jade. "Hey, like, what's the problem?"
"Seems like the bathroom's been invaded by arachnids," Rogue said, staring at Jade.
The black-haired girl blushed deeply. "Oh..." She hurried inside the bathroom.
"Ohhh...someone please tell her to hurry up," Kurt said, squeezing his legs together. "I have to pee real bad."
"Kurt, there's like eight other bathrooms in the mansion," Kitty pointed out.
"They're all occupied by the other guys. Something about women's underwear..."
Rogue blinked. "What?"
"Like, I think Jasper's gonna turn all the guys here gay."
"Just what is it about his underwear that draws them? Did you see them dive for the lingerie today during training?"
"Yeah, I was, like, shocked."
"You would've thought they were going for some...well, I dunno. When was the last time you saw guys fighting over panties?"
"It was new to me."
"I gotta peeeeee," Kurt moaned, now doing a funny little dance.
Jade came out of the bathroom. "I cleared them all out. Sorry about that."
"Finally!" Kurt exclaimed and rushed inside.
Rogue turned to Jade, about to confront her, when Bobby, Jamie, and Sam walked by, multi-colored bras strapped to their heads.
"What's up?" Bobby grinned at the girls as he passed.
They stared at them, speechless.
"We too hot for you girls?" Sam asked, adjusting his bra in a manner that seemed to try to make him look suave.
"Sam, there's a bra on your head," Rogue managed to say.
"I know. Like it?"
The three girls exchanged glances. "..."
~*~*~
A/N: Haha, I got bored during the end so I just kinda rushed through it. What do you think? Should I keep going?
A/N: I was bored again. And whenever I'm bored, I either make fun of a character or bother one. This time I get to bother them all...muahahaha. Meet Jade and Jasper, twins who are named after jewels. Twins who are mutants. Twins who have absolutely useless powers.
~*~*~
"I see..." Charles said uncertainly after the twins demonstrated their powers.
Jade had a whole army of big fire ants in ranks at her feet and Jasper was buried underneath a gigantic pile of women's underwear. Both had black hair (Jade's was streaked dark green and Jasper's was highlighted red- orange) and gray eyes. They grinned identical hope-filled grins at him as they waited for him to say more.
He plastered a smile on his face and mentally reminded himself that he wasn't one who turned young mutants away...no matter how ridiculous their powers were. "Welcome to-"
"We're in?" Jasper asked.
"Yes."
"We're in!" Jade squealed excitedly. She dove into the pile of underwear to hug her brother. "I was so sure we were gonna get rejected!"
"Now why would you think that?" Charles asked.
"Well we've always been rejected for everything. I'm so glad we got accepted to your school, Professor," Jasper said.
Charles instantly felt better with his decision. "Come...you will want to meet everyone. Jasper, you may leave the underwear here. Jade, if you would be so kind as to remove those ants..."
"Sure thing, Professor." She snapped her fingers and immediately the ants marched in a single file toward the open window.
The twins followed Charles to the kitchen, where everyone else was having breakfast - or trying to. Kurt and Kitty were fighting over the last muffin while Amara threw several biscuits at Bobby after he took her bacon. Sam and Roberto were stuffing eggs into their mouths, determined not to have anything left on their plates when Jamie came around the table, asking if he could have an egg or a pancake. Rogue was picking at her food with her fork, only eating one bite every five minutes. Jean and Scott were having difficulty pouring orange juice and milk into glasses; Ray, Rahne, and Jubilee, in their mighty hot dog fight, kept bumping into the two older mutants, resulting in orange juiced floors. Storm was busy scolding Evan when he talked with his mouth full, and Logan just sat at the head of the table drinking his coffee and reading the paper, ignoring the occasional hushpuppy or sausage that flew by.
Charles blushed lightly at this behavior in front of the two new students. He gave them both an apologetic look and cleared his throat. All movement, bickering, and fighting was immediately ceased. Everyone stared at him and the twins questioningly.
"I would like you all to meet Jade and Jasper Loire, our newest recruits," Charles said.
The X-Men just stared at the twins, some looking happy, others looking embarrassed. Finally, Logan folded his paper and stood up.
"On behalf of the X-Men, I welcome you two." He looked around at the mess and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh...breakfast?"
A few of the girls giggled and they all came forward to greet the twins, some lingering at the table.
Charles gave them a minute then cut in. "Ororo, Logan. Would you two please escort Jade and Jasper to their rooms?"
"Of course," Ororo replied. "Come, this way."
~*~*~
"I think Jasper is kind of cute," Kitty told Rogue as they walked toward the Danger Room. "So, like, what do you think his power is?"
"I don't know, but you'd better not let Lance or Kurt know that what you think of the new boy. They'd see him as another rival, poor kid," Rogue replied.
"Aw, come on. Like, don't tell me that you don't think he's cute, too."
Rogue's hard look was her answer.
"Okay...maybe not."
Everyone else was waiting for them, already dressed in their training outfits. When the two girls joined the others, Logan turned to the twins.
"All right, show us what you got."
"Right."
Everyone looked on eagerly as the twins raised their arms.
"Like, do you think they have this super cool twin ability?" Kitty whispered to Rogue.
"I don't know," Rogue repeated, impatience bordering on her tone.
"Hey, here they go!" Kitty said excitedly.
They all held their breaths...only to choke when panties and bras poofed over Jasper and rained on his head. Jade was concentrating on the door. They watched as a line of fire ants marched in under her command, followed by a regiment of tarantulas and wolf spiders.
Kitty, Rahne, Jubilee, and Amara all screamed and ran for cover behind Hank, who was staring at the army of bugs in shock. Ray, Sam, Evan, Kurt, Roberto, and Jamie were over themselves in hysterical laughter at the panties around Jasper. Even Logan had to keep his lips from twitching.
"Yes," Charles said over the screaming and laughing. "Their powers are quite unusual, aren't they?"
"Uh, Professor," Jean said uncertainly. *Was it wise to accept them?*
He gave her a stern look. *We don't turn away mutants who need help, Jean.*
She flushed. *I know, but how will their powers help us when we fight enemies like Magneto?*
*You never know. They may just be useful.*
Jean (in her limited memory space) forgot for a moment that she was still connected to him and thought, *As decoys?*
*Jean...*
*Oh! Sorry, Professor!*
Ororo went over to the twins and placed a hand on each of their shoulders. "Uh...well done, you two. You have demonstrated a...very good example of control over your powers."
The twins beamed happily.
"Now that you've seen their powers, Logan," said Charles, "do you think you could fit them in your training session today?"
He gave the Professor an irritated look, but nodded. "Yeah. I think I can put them to use."
"Very good, then. I will see you all in two hours."
~*~*~
((Two hours later...))
Logan flung open the door of Charles' office. There was a furious glint in his eyes as he stomped over to the desk.
"I need to have a word with you, Chuck," he growled.
Charles idly wiped off the drops of spit that had sprayed from the angry man's mouth. "About what, Logan?"
"Those two yobbos ruined the whole session!" he roared. "The new recruits got their asses whooped because they were either frolicking around with underwear on their heads or screaming bloody hell from that insect army!"
"It wasn't just insects," Charles said calmly, trying not to smile, "there were spiders, too."
Logan pounded his fist on the desk, effectively punching a hole through it. "I'm SERIOUS!"
"I know, I know. I will speak to the twins later," Charles told him, eyeing the hole with disdain.
"NOW. Speak to them NOW."
The Professor sighed. "Very well. I will speak to them now." He continued on as Logan turned to leave, "Ah, would you be so kind as to call for repairs for the damage that has befallen my desk?"
Logan glared at the hole and huffed. "I'll see what I can do." He left and slammed the door behind him.
Charles shook his head and went back to his papers.
~*~*~
((That night...))
"OH MY GAWD! THERE'S A MILLION TARANTULAS IN THE BATHTUB!" Jubilee screamed and ran out of the bathroom.
Rogue and Kurt quickly jumped out of her way to avoid getting run over. "What?"
The Asian girl continued to scream as she shot down the corridor, pushing people out of her way.
Kitty walked up with Jade. "Hey, like, what's the problem?"
"Seems like the bathroom's been invaded by arachnids," Rogue said, staring at Jade.
The black-haired girl blushed deeply. "Oh..." She hurried inside the bathroom.
"Ohhh...someone please tell her to hurry up," Kurt said, squeezing his legs together. "I have to pee real bad."
"Kurt, there's like eight other bathrooms in the mansion," Kitty pointed out.
"They're all occupied by the other guys. Something about women's underwear..."
Rogue blinked. "What?"
"Like, I think Jasper's gonna turn all the guys here gay."
"Just what is it about his underwear that draws them? Did you see them dive for the lingerie today during training?"
"Yeah, I was, like, shocked."
"You would've thought they were going for some...well, I dunno. When was the last time you saw guys fighting over panties?"
"It was new to me."
"I gotta peeeeee," Kurt moaned, now doing a funny little dance.
Jade came out of the bathroom. "I cleared them all out. Sorry about that."
"Finally!" Kurt exclaimed and rushed inside.
Rogue turned to Jade, about to confront her, when Bobby, Jamie, and Sam walked by, multi-colored bras strapped to their heads.
"What's up?" Bobby grinned at the girls as he passed.
They stared at them, speechless.
"We too hot for you girls?" Sam asked, adjusting his bra in a manner that seemed to try to make him look suave.
"Sam, there's a bra on your head," Rogue managed to say.
"I know. Like it?"
The three girls exchanged glances. "..."
~*~*~
A/N: Haha, I got bored during the end so I just kinda rushed through it. What do you think? Should I keep going?