Chapter 6: The Fight
Harry sat at the kitchen table, flipping through The Daily Prophet, drinking tea. The sun did not filter through the windows yet and the lack of heat on this late summer morning was welcome. He heard a creak as Severus slowly descended the stairs. Hypericia no longer came; there was no need for such intensive medical care. Grant Moven stopped in once a week to check in, but Severus worked on his therapy independently. Besides strength and flexibility exercises, Severus went on long walks, sometimes accompanied by Harry. Harry finally finished the work on his herb garden with Severus' assistance.
"Good morning," said Harry as Severus entered the room. "Mrs. Weasley sent blueberry muffins."
Severus took a seat. "Good morning," he said. He helped himself to tea, a muffin and Harry's copy of the paper. Harry shook his head but didn't protest. Harry could only smile as he looked at Severus. Though still thin, he had filled out and was no longer emaciated. Exercise and time outside had pinked his cheeks. Several months of growth gave fullness to his white streaked hair. Today Harry and Severus were going shopping in Diagon Alley, Severus' first venture into the wizarding world since recuperating. Harry felt a bit strange in his plain navy blue robes. He had a pointed hat to match but decided against it. No matter what he wore he'd be recognized. The sooner they were done, the sooner he could get back into his comfortable muggle clothes. Severus was wearing forest green robes.
"Does it feel odd not to be wearing black?"
"No one expects to see me and certainly not in green. Hopefully I'll never be noticed. I do feel strange. Out of my comfort zone, I imagine."
"You look good," said Harry. Severus looked at Harry for a moment then looked away.
"Shall we leave," said Severus, rising from the table. "Mr. Ollivander is expecting us at 6:30 am. How you got him to open his shop at this hour, well, that's something only Harry Potter could accomplish." Severus gave Harry a mocking bow.
Harry ignored him. "I'll meet you in the Leaky Cauldron." Severus had decided to use the Floo system rather than apparate. He hadn't performed magic in seven years and didn't want to splinch himself. Severus nodded and headed to the living room. Harry sent off the dishes to get cleaned and apparated to the Leaky Cauldron.
"Good morning, Tom," Harry called to the toothless barkeep.
"Hello there Mr. Potter! Out and about early today." Tom replied.
"Yes, I need to do a few things and I don't want to be mobbed."
Tom chuckled. "That's a problem for you, I imagine. If you stop by here for lunch I'll be sure to give you a private dining room."
"Thank you." Harry turned as Severus gracefully stepped from the Leaky Cauldron fireplace. Harry waved away the ash with his wand.
"Enjoy your day," called Tom. Harry waved as he and Severus headed out the back to Diagon Alley.
It was strange to see the Alley so quiet; usually there were a great many people about. All the shops were closed, although as they walked by they could see people inside working to get ready for the coming influx of shoppers. Harry and Severus knocked at the door at Ollivander's and were quickly admitted.
"Good morning, Mr. Potter and Mr. Snape," he said. "Eleven inches, phoenix feather, holly and willow, unicorn hair, ten inches – broken unfortunately. Come, come"
Mr. Ollivander began first with a ten inch willow wand with a unicorn tail hair but snatched it away quickly. "That no longer suits you." He began a process that reminded Harry of his first time here. Severus was handed a wand only to have it taken away. Mr. Ollivander would then search for another only to say, "No, not that either." Mr. Ollivander snatched yet another wand from Severus. Harry could see Severus' annoyance, but that melted from his face when the latest wand was put in his hand. Severus stepped away from Mr. Ollivander so that the wand wouldn't be taken from him. Severus gave the wand a gentle wave and it emitted silver and green sparkles. "Marvelous, ebony, dragon heartstring, ten and a half inches. A perfect match." Mr. Ollivander was joyous. "You've changed a great deal, a great deal, Mr. Snape."
Harry paid 14 galleons for the wand and they left the shop together. Severus seemed pleased.
"Let's stop at Flourish and Blotts, they should be opening soon. I need something to read other that your unauthorized biographies and Quidditch guides." Severus had his wand out and was repeatedly doing a swish and flick.
"Looking for someone to hex, Severus?"
Severus gave an evil grin, "if the opportunity should present itself…"
Harry and Severus stopped in front of Flourish and Blotts, waiting for it to open. There were people in the alley now and Harry kept his face down to avoid being recognized. They scooted into the bookstore as soon as the doors opened. Harry and Severus browsed for awhile until the store became crowded and several people asked for Harry's autograph. Harry moved to pay for his book, The Wolf Within by Remus Lupin, a posthumous autobiography. He had a first edition but wanted to keep it in top condition and so bought this second edition to read. After his death it was discovered that Remus had kept extensive diaries. Hermione had taken them and in her nonexistent spare time put this book together. Severus set his books down with Harry's and picked up The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble.
"Are they still using this drivel?" asked Severus.
"I guess it's the best available," said Harry.
"Trimble culled all his information from other books, nothing from experience."
"Well, you should write your own book." Harry paid the merchant, shrunk the books and put them in a pocket.
"What?" said Severus.
"I said to write your own defense text based on your experience. I know you wanted to teach DADA at one point. Think how vital a quality textbook could be, not to just Hogwarts, but to other schools as well. Defense against the Dark Arts is still a critical subject." Harry took the book from Severus and bought it. He then handed it back to Severus. "Consider it research." Severus took the book, looked at it, looked at Harry and pocketed the book.
"Perhaps," said Severus.
***
Later that evening both men sat in the living room reading. Severus was studying The Dark Forces, muttering about idiocy, snorting, even laughing out loud at one point. Harry waved his hand and levitated a quill, ink and parchment to Severus. Severus took them and began scratching notes. Soon he moved to the desk to write more comfortably. He transfigured a bottle of black ink to red and began marking up the book as well.
'Quentin Trimble is getting a poor grade,' thought Harry and continued to read. He glanced up as Severus grabbed a new parchment. 'Good to see him so taken with my idea. He has so much to offer.'
"Severus, I'm going to bed. It's late." Harry yawned and waited for Severus to respond.
"Severus?" Harry got a grunt and a wave. "Severus, go to bed. Everything will be there in the morning."
"I am not a child who needs to be reminded of bedtime, Potter."
"Good night, Severus," Harry said quietly and left the room.
***
Severus was in the same place when Harry came down in the morning. He started the water heating for tea and Severus wandered in while he was making eggs and toast for breakfast. Severus sat at the table rubbing his bloodshot eyes.
"Coffee?" asked Severus.
"No, I'm sorry I don't normally drink it. I can send for some, though."
"Yes and I have a list of books and supplies that I want as well."
"I'll send out Hedwig this morning."
Severus ate quickly and went upstairs. Harry heard the shower running. He cleaned the kitchen and wrote a note for coffee. Severus returned in fresh clothes, hair damp. He dropped his list onto the table and went back to writing. The list requested nearly a dozen Defense against the Dark Arts books along with parchment, quills and ink. Harry called for Hedwig.
"There's quite a bit here girl," he said as Hedwig landed on the table. She hooted and nipped his finger lightly. "Bring back the coffee, but let Flourish and Blotts send their own birds with the books and supplies. Let them do the grunt work." Hedwig hooted in agreement. Harry tied the note and list to her leg and opened the door so she could do her errands.
Harry made coffee when Hedwig returned. He offered Severus a cup which he took, drained and asked for another. Severus worked through lunch and now it was approaching dinner.
"Severus, dinner is ready, come eat."
No response.
"Severus," Harry put a hand on Severus' shoulder. Severus whipped around, glaring at Harry.
"What!" he hissed. Harry stepped back, removing his hand.
"You'll work better if you stop to eat and rest," said Harry. Severus stood, collected a pile of parchments and walked to the table. During the meal, Severus did not speak; he just reviewed his writing while eating.
"I tried some of the coffee I made earlier. It was horribly bitter. Is coffee supposed to be like that or did I make it wrong?" Papers were shuffled.
"Severus, a poltergeist has taken up residence in the bathroom. He likes to drop his pants and flash when someone is on the toilet." Severus summoned a quill and ink and began writing in the margins of his parchments.
"I was going to lay on the living room floor, naked, and wank if you'd like to watch."
"What are you blathering about, Potter?" Severus didn't look up from his work.
"Nothing." Harry sighed, cleaned up the dinner dishes and went to his bedroom to read.
***
"I'm going to kill him Hermione. My living room is a disaster; there's not one space with out papers or parchments now. He hasn't spoken civilly to me all week." Harry was sitting outside at the patio table with the cordless phone. The sedum and asters were beginning to bloom simply for their own pleasure for they had no audience. Harry didn't notice.
"Has he ever been civil to you?" Milo and David were shrieking in the background.
"Yes and I rather enjoy it. Are your kids being tortured?"
"Gred and Forge are playing with them. Nothing from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes allowed."
"Ron working this weekend?"
"No, he's still asleep. Late night. I think it's good that Severus is so involved. He needs to exercise his brain as much as his body after so many years of idleness. It's another part of his recovery."
"I understand the need to do something thought provoking; in fact I encouraged this little venture. That's no excuse to be rude." Harry pulled up a stem of tarragon and began stripping off each tiny leaf, one by one. "I liked talking to him when we could talk. He's back to calling me Potter."
"People get stuck sometimes especially when their energy is diverted. Try talking to him again when he's taking a break otherwise throw him out on his ass." Now Harry could hear 'Hermione said ass! Hermione said ass!' being shouted in a singsong voice by two oversized imps. Harry chuckled while Hermione sighed.
"Hermione, I can't believe you suggested throwing him out. I would never do that."
"Well he should be better to you despite the challenges of his personality. You've done so much…NO LEVITATING MY CHILDREN!" Harry moved the phone away from his ear. "YOU PUT THEM DOWN THIS SECOND! I need to go." Hermione disconnected.
Hedwig flew down to land on the patio table. Harry removed the letter tied to her leg and then began stroking her soft white feathers. Hedwig remained still as if understanding what Harry needed. 'I care. I care what he thinks of me; how he speaks to me and that he ignores me. I care and I don't want to care anymore.' Harry sighed. "You are so beautiful Hedwig," he said softly. She nipped his finger gently and flew off to her perch to rest.
Harry opened his letter:
Dear Harry,
Great to hear from you! The wife and kids are fine; thanks for asking. When are you going to settle down?
While my company doesn't publish textbooks, I do have contacts in several companies that do. Send me an outline and any chapters you've written and I'll pitch it to the right people.
Keep In Touch!
Terry Boot
'Great, he thinks I'm writing the book. I wasn't trying to imply that in the letter I sent earlier this week. I'll have to clarify that it's Severus' book. Time for people to know he's alive.' Harry walked into the house. 'I hope that this effort is appreciated. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. That's my new mantra.'
Harry stepped into what was once his living room. It was now the paper room. The sofa, chairs, shelves, coffee table were all hidden under papers and parchments. Severus was sitting at the desk, writing madly and glancing at a book occasionally. His black clothes were rumpled; his cheek smudged with ink and his hair was uncombed. Harry approached the desk cautiously; he had already been reprimanded for disturbing the papers. Severus paused and Harry spoke before he began again.
"Severus, I've a note from Terry Boot in regard to publishing your book," he said swiftly.
"I've only been at work a week. How can I think of publishing yet?" Severus took the note from Harry. "Besides it seems you are publishing this work. Am I the ghostwriter?"
Harry smiled. "Well, since most people think you're dead…" Severus glared. "I'm just kidding. I didn't want to give your name yet and Terry just assumed. If you wish to follow this up, we'll set the record straight." Severus sat back in his chair and scrubbed his scalp with his hands.
"Publishing is the ultimate goal." Snape closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Harry saw that he left another ink smudge on his face and had a sudden urge to gently wipe the smudges away. 'Now where did that come from? I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.'
"Very well. By the end of the week I believe I can cull a reasonable outline and synopsis. I need more paper. That muggle paper you had is adequate. And coffee." Severus returned to his work but stopped when Harry didn't move.
"I don't expect gratitude and I've given up on you actually liking me, but you could at least be polite." Harry pivoted around and went to the kitchen to make coffee. He was shaking, partly from the adrenaline rush of actually saying something, partly from anger, and perhaps more but he didn't want to contemplate any of the other emotions quaking inside.
When Harry returned to Severus with a fresh cup of coffee, Severus responded with a quiet "thank you" but Harry felt too on edge to do more than nod and head back outside. Harry knelt in the garden and began ripping weeds from their grip on the earth.
At the end of the following week, Hedwig was sent off to Terry Boot with a synopsis and outline for Practical Defense: Your Best Chance to Stay Alive by Severus Snape. Severus tidied up the living room and organized all his papers. Harry deadheaded faded flowers in the garden. Both found a little bit of this and a little bit of that to do. And they waited.
***
A few days later Harry and Severus were having a quiet dinner when a crack was heard. Harry went to the door to see who had arrived and greeted Ron enthusiastically.
"Ron! It's been ages!" The two longtime friends embraced. "Come eat." Ron never said no to food and sat down at the table while Harry produced a plate and utensils.
"Thanks Harry. Good evening prof…Severus." Severus inclined his head. "I'm starved. Missed dinner again but I wanted to touch base. Are you ever going to another Cannons game? Not that Bill's complaining."
"Is that who's been going with you? And yes I'll be at the next game." Ron shoveled food into to his mouth and gulped down a butterbeer.
"Brilliant. Next week okay?" Harry nodded agreement.
"Listen, before I forget, most of my inquiries turned up nothing unusual on Snape's search, excuse me, Severus' search." Severus waved his hand dismissively. "Until I ran into Ernie Macmillan at a pub just last week, seems he got a promotion and was celebrating a bit. He's working in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and said it helped that his brother had come to the attention of the Minister of Magic. So I asked how'd that happen and he said that his brother Richard had worked on the team that had been searching for Snape and one day he was approach by Amelia Bones, the new Minister of Magic. She said she appreciated all their hard work and effort, but after so many weeks without result it was time to move on and employ their talents elsewhere. Every member of the team has been separated and employed in a different ministry now, I checked. And this wasn't the final report, just a preliminary that was left on file. The team never pooled their individual findings. Who knows what may have happened then. Ernie puffed himself like a peacock saying that the Minister always has a word for his brother and him. While the Minister of Magic certainly has the authority to terminate a search, this seemed premature." Ron got himself another butterbeer and quickly drained it.
"Well, Severus, what did you do to piss off the Minister of Magic?" asked Harry in a teasing tone.
"This is serious, Potter," replied Severus sharply. "I can think of no reason why she would wish to act against me, if this was deliberate." Severus pondered for several moments. "We shall have to keep digging. Thank you Mr. Weasley."
"About the Cannons…" Ron began but was cut off by the arrival of four owls, all dropping letters in front of Severus. The owls all flitted away without waiting for a response. Severus opened the first, scanned it, and tossed it aside. He repeated this with the other three letters and sat back in his chair with a dark scowl.
"What is it Severus? May I read?" Harry fingered the first letter. He had a good idea where the letters were from but was expecting a completely different response.
"This is what I get from listening to you," hissed Snape, gesturing toward the letters. "Here," he tossed all the letters at Harry, "Read, enjoy."
"Now there's no need…" Ron began hotly.
Harry read through the first letter. "Ron, why don't you head home to your family? Everything's okay. Thanks for the info and I'll see you at the Cannons game next week." Harry had set the letters on the table and was nudging Ron toward the door.
"Are you sure, Harry?" Ron asked.
"Yes, go on." Ron stepped out the door and disapparated. Harry returned to the kitchen and read through the other letters. They all said basically the same thing, "Thank you for your submission but Practical Defense does not suit our needs at this time."
"Perhaps if we arrange a meeting…"
"Ah yes, that will help. Throw around the Potter name. Will you have them kiss your ring finger as well?" Snape sneered.
"Really Severus! Perhaps if you knew what their needs were, you could rewrite accordingly. Rewrites are not uncommon." 'Stay calm, Harry, stay calm.'
"They do not wish to be accommodated. This was a nice way to say sod off. I've just been wasting my time, and you've been encouraging it."
"What!? I've haven't been encouraging you to waste your time. Of all the ridiculous notions. You've been a git the last two weeks, but I've put up with it because you seemed so taken with this project. I wrote to Terry Boot to help get you published. If anything you've been wasting my time, 'Get this Potter, get that Potter, coffee Potter, more paper Potter, that's adequate Potter.'" Harry's voice grew louder as he spoke.
"Yes," Snape said softly, "You did contact Boot for me. And you did suggest that I write this book. And you brought me coffee, and paper, and books and whatever I asked for. You told me that you supported me, that Hermione supported me. You should have been a Slytherin, such cunning. You are a far greater bastard that your father ever was." Snape's voice remained quiet but it was cold, only his black eyes flickered with heat.
"What! What!" Harry sputtered, not being able to answer coherently yet.
"At least with your father, I knew his goal, but you quite took me in. They just set me down; you lifted me up so you could cast me off a precipice."
"I searched for you. I found you and took you into my home and saw that you got the medical attention you needed. I made sure you were safe. I had people investigated for you. I cooked and cleaned for you. I supported your undertaking by running your little errands. I've done all this and more, despite your yelling, paranoia and insults. I saved your life! I care about you and the only thing I've asked is that you be polite. And this is what you accuse me of?" Harry was shaking in anger, fists clenched at his side.
"I don't know the extent of your 'search', but you did take me into your house. Is this your real home? Why would multimillionaire Potter live in a little cottage?"
"You think this is some farce, some setup? Some elaborate plot to shame you?" Harry yelled. 'How can he think such things of me?'
"Quite elaborate I must say," Snape looked about calmly. "Bring me in at my most vulnerable, care for me unlike any I've ever received, give me hope and purpose. I almost felt my mistakes as a Death Eater were redeemed." Snape sighed bitterly and snorted.
"You are the most paranoid, bitter, delusional person I've ever met. And I've lied to you, I do pity you, I pity you a great deal." Harry said harshly.
"And you have never had my adoration, adulation or praise; all the attentions that you thrive on. You've reminded me of what you've done for me, and though you deny it, you want my gratitude, for me to care for you, for me to be indebted to you. Your self-inflated ego requires it. Well, you won't have it. I care nothing for you!" Snape stormed up the stairs and slammed the door to his room.
Harry stood in the center of the kitchen, panting, feeling slightly dizzy. 'What the bloody hell just happened?'