Chapter 7: A Slight Complication
Harry lay in bed staring at the ceiling. It was dawn and the ceiling hadn't changed since he had gone to bed. He had watched the ceiling through the night, and yes, it was the same.
'Okay, so Severus thinks I did all that I've done as some prank? No, it's more than that. He thinks its revenge, that I want to destroy him, humiliate him, strip him of, of, of… What? He's talked like this before. Why is he paranoid? Because he's been treated like shit his whole like, if my glances at his memories are a general indicator. Why me though? Because I'm my father's son?' Harry rolled over in the bed twisting the sheet and blankets around him.
'He's like a wild animal that's been hurt. He fights, lashes out, to protect himself even from those who can help. An animal doesn't understand a helping hand; it sees itself in a weak position facing a potential predator. So it becomes even fiercer to scare off that predator. So the more hurt Severus is – the more he lashes out. Like an animal. He's protecting himself. He's afraid of me.' Harry snorted. 'Why would Severus Snape be afraid of me? How could I hurt him? What did he say? "I care nothing for you."' Harry sat up.
'What if he did care? It's the people you care about that can hurt you the most.' Harry slumped back on the bed.
'And what did I do? Yelled. Called him names. Said I pitied him. Royally fucked up.' Harry groaned and put the pillow over his head.
'I promised to care for him. Real caring attitude, Potter!' Harry removed the pillow and sighed.
'Now what? Now I need to fix things. Hagrid always said you just need to know how to calm an animal. I think I'll call on Minerva to see if she has any insight; she's known him for years. And a stop to Boot, I need to figure out that mess as well.' Harry got out of bed to begin the day.
***
Harry sat the kitchen table sipping tea, breakfast done, waiting for Severus to come down. He could hear Severus moving around upstairs.
'He's not coming down.' Harry sighed, put down his cup and walked up the stairs. He stood for a moment listening to the movement in the room before tapping on the door. Silence.
"Severus, may I speak to you a moment?" Harry asked.
The door opened and Severus stood blocking the entrance to his room.
"I want to apologize…"
"There is no need. I overreacted." Harry looked at Severus' emotionless expression. 'How am I going to break through?'
"Last night you received a great disappointment on top of many other difficult things in your life. I should have been more understanding…"
"I don't want your understanding."
"I care about you. I'm sorry that I didn't express that properly last night." Harry tried to look Severus in the eyes but Severus looked away.
"Leave me be, Potter."
"Just like everyone else, Severus?" Severus' eyes focused on Harry now. "Well, I'll have to apologize again because I won't leave you be. I'm going to find someway to make you see that someone actually, really, truly, deeply cares about you."
Severus stepped back and moved to close the door but Harry put his hand out to hold the door open.
"I have some errands to do. When I return, you and I are going to sit down and have a long talk. Shall I acquire some truth potion while I'm out?" Something flickered in Severus' eyes before snapping back to flat and emotionless.
"No," Severus said "Truth serum will not be necessary."
Harry nodded, turned and started down the stairs.
"I meant for me to take it. So you would believe me," said Harry as he descended.
"I know," said Severus.
Harry stopped at the bottom step and looked up.
"It will be okay."
"Gryffindor," said Severus with a sniff.
Harry chuckled as he stepped outside the door and disapparated.
***
When Harry arrived at Scribbles Publishing it was as if a room encompassing stunning charm had been cast. Every person in the busy lobby stopped to fix their eyes on him. Then it was gone and Harry was surrounded by a crowd of Harry Potter autograph seekers. Harry pulled the tide along with him, signing autographs, as he made his way to the receptionist.
"Terry Boot, please."
"Oh Mr. Potter, you can go right up," she gushed. "He's on the second floor."
"Ah, thanks." Harry extricated himself from the crowd and walked up the stairs. After signing autographs on the second floor, Harry found Boot's office.
"Harry! Come in," Terry shook Harry's hand and closed the door to his office.
"Sit down. Can I get you something?" Terry directed Harry to a chair and he sat behind his desk, which he quickly tidied of parchments and manuscripts.
"So good to see you, Harry. You look great!"
"Thanks Terry. How's the family?"
"Great. Everyone is doing great. Kids are into everything with more energy than I ever conceived possible. Hannah's career is doing well. And um, kids, yeah, they did the most hilarious thing the other day…"
"Your wife's at Dogmata Press, isn't she?"
"Yes. Ian and Rachel are such an unexpected joy. I didn't know fatherhood could be so fulfilling. Why haven't you settled down and had a few kids? You were always keen on family." Terry took out a picture of his family and handed it to Harry. Harry saw that the former Miss Hannah Abbott had changed little from Hogwarts.
"Lovely." Harry handed it back. "Dogmata Press rejected Severus' book proposal along with the other three publishers you recommended."
"Part of the business. I just passed it along to my contacts, as I said. Then it was out of my hands." Terry dry washed his hands. "Tea, coffee or something else?"
"The book's good, Terry. I know a thing or two about Defense Against the Dark Arts and most of it I learned from Severus."
"Harry, I can't make another company publish a book."
"I understand that, but as someone in the business perhaps you can suggest the next move. Can you help set up a meeting with these publishers?"
"I'm not sure" Terry trailed off.
"What about Dogmata Press. You know, where your wife works." Harry leaned forward and looked at Terry intently.
"Harry," Terry began.
"Give it to me."
"Snape's been blacklisted. He'll never get anything published. Pushing it would ruin Hannah's career. My boss already came down on me for forwarding it to my contacts." Terry dropped his hands to his lap and his eyes followed.
"Blacklisted? How can a dead man be blacklisted? And why would he be?" Harry ran his hand through his unruly black hair.
"Well, he's not dead now, is he? And I'm not sure why he's blacklisted. No one has really said why to me. Maybe because he's a Death Eater. There's still a lot of hatred out there."
"Ex-Death Eater! He spied for the Order. He stood by Dumbledore!" Harry stood and began pacing.
"Dumbledore's dead," Terry said quietly.
"Honor seems to be as well." Harry sighed. "I know this didn't start with you. I'd better leave before my temper takes over my mouth."
Terry stood and the two men shook hands.
"You know I'll do whatever I can for you," said Terry.
"Yeah, thanks. Can I disapparate from here?" Terry nodded and Harry disapparated for Hogsmeade.
***
Harry walked slowly to the castle, not seeing the blue of the sky, the green of the grass or the sun sparkling off the lake. It was a cold gray ghostly walk. There; he looked toward the wood; they had fought, under the shadowed eaves of the Forbidden Forest. There so many died. Harry forced himself to look away and continue.
Inside black robed students were herding into the Great Hall to graze for lunch. They paused and began whispering when they saw Harry.
"Well, what is the matter? Move along!" The Headmistress shooed the students into moving again.
"Ah! Harry, are you responsible for the disruption?" McGonagall chided.
"Can't take points anymore Professor." Harry made his lips curl into a smile.
McGonagall stepped forward and embraced him. "Hard to be here?"
"Yes," Harry whispered.
"Go on up to my office, I'll be along shortly. The password is phoenix feathers."
Harry walked the familiar route to the Headmistress' office. 'How many times I have I done this?' He was blind to his surroundings; the ache in his heart smothered his senses.
"Phoenix feathers," he mumbled at the door warden. The gargoyle leaped aside and Harry rode the stairs to the top. He paused at the door, tragically hoping to see twinkling blue eyes on the other side. 'Ridiculous,' he thought and with a deep breath he walked into the office.
Nothing had changed. The circular room was as ever, filled with books and sleeping portraits. The desk sat in the same spot. Harry let the warmth of familiarity wash over him. But wait. Where's Fawkes? Where are the little tables of silver magical doodads? Harry felt the warmth drain from him.
"Can't offer a lemon drop anymore," said a gentle voice.
Harry whirled to face a portrait to his left and nearly behind him. He couldn't check the small sob that escaped as he looked upon Albus Dumbledore, blue eyes twinkling from his portrait frame.
"It's wonderful to see you. I hoped that you'd visit," said Dumbledore.
"Sir," Harry stopped and stared.
"Harry." The portrait waited while Harry searched for words.
"How are you?" Dumbledore asked.
"I don't know." Harry filled to bursting with emotion. "I found Severus. I knew you would have done that yourself, if you were able." The portrait nodded as Harry continued. "He's so paranoid and I've just tried to help. And the world seems against him and I don't know how to fix things. And…" Harry stopped babbling.
"I'm glad you found him. Severus has had a hard life. He did not find friendship and companionship at Hogwarts like you were fortunate to do. As a professor, he was forced to play a certain role that melded quite seamlessly with a public persona he had acquired. He has good reason to be paranoid." Dumbledore smiled down on Harry. "You are a good match for him though. You have shouldered a great burden. You understand loss, sacrifice, and pain. You know responsibility. You also know friendship, loyalty and love. Severus has closed his heart to such things. Remember your heart, Harry; it has always been your greatest strength." Dumbledore yawned and stretched in his painting. "Minerva comes. Time to nap." And then he was asleep.
Harry wandered across the room in an aimless fashion until taking a seat near the desk. McGonagall came briskly into the room and sat behind the desk with her hands resting on top, fingers interlaced.
"Did Albus speak to you?" she inquired.
Harry nodded. "As usual, he gave me much to think about."
McGonagall brought out her wand and, with a flourish, tea and sandwiches appeared. They ate without speaking. Harry reflected on Dumbledore's words.
"Severus and I…well…things are difficult," Harry finished lamely.
McGonagall snorted. "I imagine so. Even at school the two of you clashed like a thunderstorm."
"I wasn't expecting things to be sweet but his accusations…"
"Paranoia is a useful tool for a spy. The last few years would have only exacerbated that trait. Get him on his feet and let him go. Stop torturing yourself."
Harry looked at the hardness of her eyes and the firmness of her jaw.
"Why didn't you take him back?"
"I have no place for him here. I do not believe he belongs here. As headmistress I must see to all the students, not just the Gryffindors. The current potions professor suits the needs of all the students."
"After all his years here? After his service to the Order? This is all the respect he is shown?"
"As headmistress it is my right and duty to decide who will best educate Hogwarts' students." This was said with finality. Harry rose.
"Of course, Headmistress. I think I'll head out now."
McGonagall rose to accompany him. Dumbledore's portrait winked as Harry walked by.
"I believe there are a few people here who would like to greet you," said McGonagall. Harry groaned inwardly, hoping he wouldn't have to sign anymore autographs.
McGonagall stopped in front of the staffroom door. Hearty laughter was heard within. McGonagall opened the door and ushered Harry inside. Professors stopped what they were doing and scrambled to their feet.
"Harry!" Neville Longbottom was pumping his hand before Harry comprehended him being in the room.
"Neville," Harry hugged him with his free arm. "Great to see you." Neville had thinned as he grew into manhood and he projected a confidence that he lacked in school.
"Good to see you as well. You remember my wife, Susan."
"Yes, of course." He and Susan embraced briefly.
"It's been so many years, Harry. You shouldn't be such a stranger," she said.
Harry just shrugged. "So what's it like having an aunt as the Minister of Magic?"
Susan laughed lightly. "She's still Aunt Amelia to me." Neville wrapped an arm around Susan and squeezed.
"You remember Michael Corner from the DA, don't you?" Neville gestured and Michael stepped forward.
"Good to see you, Harry." Michael shook Harry's hand. "I should thank you. I doubt I'd be teaching Defense if it hadn't been for the DA."
"I didn't do much, just passed on what I learned from others. You should really thank Hermione. Congratulations on breaking the curse. I've heard that you've taught for several years now."
"Thank you, I really enjoy teaching. You needn't be so modest. I know you've influenced the lives of many people." Harry blushed.
Neville stepped forward once again. "Let me introduce you to my cousin, Winston Chamberlain. He's been teaching potions. Winston, this is Harry Potter." A tall man in rich blue robes moved into the forefront. He had long chestnut brown hair which was tied back at the nape of his neck. His intense dark blue eyes were locked onto Harry as he extended his hand.
"A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Potter," said Winston as they shook hands.
"Call me Harry and the pleasure is mine." Their hands remained clasped for an extra moment before letting go. Harry was furious with himself. 'This is the man holding Severus' position and I'm mooning over him.' Harry took a step away.
"Well, it's wonderful to see you all, but I do have a guest that I should return to." Harry glanced at the door.
"I hope you'll visit again, when you have time to talk," said Winston. "Soon, I hope, so that we could get to know one another." Winston smiled and Harry returned the smile automatically.
"Yes, Harry, we don't want to keep you from your company but you must come up and have dinner with us," said Susan with a glance at Winston.
"Dinner would be great. But Severus will be with me a while, it will have to wait."
"Severus? It's true then that Snape is alive? And he's your guest?" Neville focused on Harry.
"Yes, he's been at my cottage for some months now." Harry found Neville's intent gaze unnerving. Susan began to rub Neville's arm. Neville looked to Susan and then kissed her on the cheek.
"Sorry, flashbacks to potions class," Neville said with a weak smile. Everyone chuckled in a polite fashion.
"Well if Snape is the same curmudgeon that I remember, you'll be in need of some polite company sooner rather than later. Find him a babysitter if you don't want to leave him for an evening. I'll send an owl along and we will settle the date," said Susan. Harry said his goodbyes and McGonagall walked along with him to the castle doors.
"Neville has been such a help to me. I've actually thought of naming him deputy headmaster. He's changed and grown from that frightened schoolchild. He actually referred Michael and Winston to me." McGonagall continued in a quiet voice, as if speaking to herself. "Strange, I thought I told Neville about my meeting with Severus."
"I'm glad for Neville and that you have someone to rely on. I'm sure Winston Chamberlain is an excellent potion's professor. I just wish I could do better for Severus." Harry stopped at the castle doors.
"There's far more to Severus Snape than perhaps anyone should know. Let him move on. You don't need to fix everything, you do more than anyone can expect." McGonagall seemed sad and resigned to Harry.
"Good day, Minerva."
"Good day, Harry."
Harry walked away from Hogwarts so he could apparate back to his cottage, and to Severus. 'It's all very odd, isn't it? Minerva set against Severus. What had she learned about him? Neville looking at me so strangely, asking me to confirm what he knew already. And why do I always find myself attracted to potions' professors?' Harry stopped so quickly at that thought that he nearly fell over his own feet. 'Where the hell did that come from? How many potions' professors am I attracted to? Sure, that Winston was hot but…' Harry could feel the heat rising in his face. 'Bloody hell, how can I be attracted to him! He's surly and miserable. So why do I feel so protective of him? Merlin, what am I going to do now?' Harry kept walking and ruminating. 'Well, I'll do nothing. Severus doesn't even want my friendship and I'm not sure I want to offer anything else. Right now, I just want us to be civil. Okay, I want more than that, but that's what I'll settle for.' Harry crossed over the wards protecting Hogwarts and disapparated.
At his front door, Harry took a moment to take a deep breath to collect himself. 'I'm calm. Severus and I are going to have nice chat and I'm going to make him understand that he can trust me. I will not do anything foolish, like admit I'm attracted to him. Okay, Harry, go in the door.' Harry entered the house. The house was silent.
"Hello?" he called.
"In here," Severus said.
Harry walked into the living room. Severus was sitting stiffly in a chair with his arms folded across his chest. His lip was curled up in a sneer and he gestured to the couch. Harry looked as directed and stepped back quickly, bumping into the wall.
Vernon and Petunia Dursley were sitting on the couch.