Title: Exercising an Option
Author: Gina Lin Genre: Romance, Adventure Pairing: 13+6, 1+2, 3+4, 5+S Warnings: Citrus, Language, AU, Yaoi Rating: R Archived: S_E Updates, GWFF, FF.net
Chapter 13
"So, this is where you're staying?" asked Wufei, when Heero answered the door to Duo's house.
Heero ushered him inside. "Duo was kind enough to let me use his guest room."
"You sleeping with him?" asked Wufei, folding his arms.
"Right to the point as usual," Heero observed.
Wufei noticed the open laptop on the dining room table. "I knew you couldn't resist," he said, walking over to the device.
Heero stood in front of the display. "I'll pay up," he said, shrugging indifferently.
"You didn't answer my question about Maxwell," said Wufei.
"What do you care?" asked Heero levelly.
"I care about you. Look up "care", Heero, it's no doubt under the definition of 'friend'."
"We've been..intimate," said Heero, uncomfortably.
"I guess it really is none of my business," said Wufei, softening his expression. "I'm worried about you, Heero. What the hell is up with you anyway? Punching out that security guard, jumping in the sack with the first good looking guy that comes along, loosing it at a simple dinner party?"
Heero sat down heavily. "Same thing that's always been wrong with me, Wufei."
"I thought that was all behind you. Behind us," Wufei amended.
"I keep seeing it," said Heero shortly. "It hasn't gone away. Somehow, you have conquered this and I have not."
"My demons are still there, Heero," said Wufei softly. He sat down next to Heero. "But, I never tried to pretend they didn't exist."
"Duo said I'm trying to go around it instead of through it," reflected Heero. "Maybe he's right."
"Duo is correct," said Wufei. "I survived by honoring Triton's memory, his bravery, his sacrifice. I don't want to forget it. But then, I forgave myself for his death also. That is the first step. We didn't kill him, Heero. You didn't kill him. If he were here, he'd tell you that himself. "
"You need to take your own advice, Chang," said Heero harshly. "You talk about forgiving yourself, but you haven't even looked at another woman since Meilan died. You live like some sort of fucking monument of self- denial to her memory."
"That's different," said Wufei tightly, clenching his fists. "That WAS my fault. I killed her. An accident, but I'm responsible, nonetheless."
"Bullshit!" said Heero. "You're so full of shit."
Wufei stood up. "I'm leaving," he announced. "Because if I don't, I'm probably going to kick your sorry ass all over this room."
"I could always take you, Chang," snarled Heero. "Especially in the shape you're in now."
"Go hump your laptop," said Wufei coldly. "I'm leaving."
"Gee, guys, did I interrupt something?" asked Duo with a nervous laugh from the front doorway.
Heero and Wufei glared at him respectively.
"I heard yelling, so I came in to see what the hell is going on," said Duo.
"I was just leaving," said Wufei, pushing past Duo in the entryway.
He turned, "I'm sorry to be so rude," he said to Duo, then left.
"He looks royally pissed," said Duo with studied casualness as Wufei strode stiffly out the door.
"Fucking hypocrite," said Heero under his breath.
"Wanna tell me what that was all about?" asked Duo.
"No," said Heero.
"Back to monosyllables," said Duo. "Not a good sign."
Heero glared at him. "This has nothing to do with you."
Duo's eyes frosted over with sudden anger.
"No, I'm just the guy you fuck," said Duo, his voice edgy with sarcasm. "The guy whose house you're living in at the moment, so it's none of my business.
"I can remedy that quite easily," said Heero, walking past him down the hall.
"Where are you going?" asked Duo, following him a few paces behind.
"I'm getting my things," said Heero woodenly. "I'll be gone in half an hour."
"What?" exclaimed Duo. His stomach clenched violently.
"I never said you had to leave," Duo said tightly. "But, I can see that's sort of a pattern with you. Boy, I thought I was the run and hide type, but you've got me beat all to hell and back. "
"What?" asked Heero, turning around from grabbing his bags from the small closet. He dropped them.
"I need everyone to get out of my head," he said, sitting heavily on the bed and running a hand through his unruly hair.
"The only person who needs to get out of your head is you," said Duo angrily.
"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Heero, looking confused.
"You figure it out," said Duo. "I've been sitting here the last two nights watching the back of your head while you make love to your laptop, then you crawl off to this room. I mean, I'm not so narcissistic I need your attention every minute of the goddamn day, but acknowledging I'm alive once in a while would be nice."
Heero gave a short bark of laughter. "Wufei told me to go hump my laptop."
Duo walked over and sat down next to the other man, pressing their shoulders together.
"I think your friend Wufei cares an awful lot about you or he could never get under your skin like this."
Heero lay back on the bed. "My head hurts," he whispered.
Duo put his hand on Heero's stomach. "That's because you're so tense, I could do my ironing on you," he said. "If I actually ever did any ironing," he added offhandedly.
Heero snorted. Duo felt the tightness under his hand relax a bit.
"Roll over," said Duo gently. "I'll get rid of your headache." He reached up to Heero's neck and began to rub the tense muscles.
"Duo," came Heero's muffled voice from against the coverlet.
"What?" asked Duo, kneeling and straddling the other man's thighs to finish the massage.
"I'm sorry I ignored you," said Heero. "You're right about me. I was going to leave. Over nothing."
"Well, you did warn me you were not always a nice person," said Duo, shrugging. "At least you're honest," he chuckled. He his hands down and gently squeezed the tense muscles of Heero's tense shoulders.
"Off," he commanded, tugging at the bottom of Heero's black shirt. Heero raised himself onto his elbow and undid the top buttons and Duo pulled the shirt off over his head as though he were a sleepy child.
"I killed him."
"Who?" asked Duo, his eyes widening and hands hesitating on Heero's shoulders for fleeting moment.
"Triton," Heero said. "If I'd followed the order to retreat, he'd still be alive."
"Triton was Trowa's brother," said Duo, nodding to himself.
"How do you know that?" asked Heero, stiffening in surprise under Duo's hands.
"Wufei said something about to Sally and me," said Duo.
"What did he say?" asked Heero flatly.
"That you three were captured, and Triton died of his wounds. That's all."
"He didn't tell you how it happened?" asked Heero quietly, his voice barely audible.
"No," replied Duo. "You don't exactly press someone you hardly know for details about that sort of thing. But, he never said anything about it being your fault."
"Wufei would never say that," sighed Heero. "But that doesn't make it any less true."
"The bad guys killed him, Heero," said Duo. "Is that so hard to accept?"
"We should never have been there in the first place!" cried Heero, burying his face in the bed's coverlet. "The bad guys are just guys," he said, his voice becoming quieter. "They bleed red exactly like we do."
"Easy!" breathed Duo, feeling Heero's body become completely rigid underneath him.
"Gave me a goddamn fucking medal for killing my friend," said Heero mournfully.
Duo felt a shudder pass through Heero, but there was no sound.
He pressed his cheek against Heero's back. The small patch of scar tissue there felt rough against his cheek.
"No more running," whispered Duo. "This thing is going to have you whether you want it to or not. So just let it. I promise you won't die. It'll hurt, but you won't die. It gets better, I promise."
"Stay with me?" asked Heero roughly. "When I'm alone, that's the worst, it won't stop." He reached up and pulled at his hair in a despairing gesture.
"I'm not going anywhere." Duo slid alongside Heero so he could see his face, and put his arm over him.
"Why do you want me?" asked Heero plaintively in a choked voice, looking away. "I'm terrible at this..this," he made a vague gesture with his hand.
"I dunno," said Duo honestly. "That probably says something about me. It's not like I've figured any of this relationship crap out either. I mean, my last boyfriend was a drunk who thought my head resembled a punching bag. "
"You're a good person," said Heero. Duo snorted softly in denial. "I wish," he said quietly.
"You care," said Heero. "Wufei said it too; I work hard at not caring. It's become my profession, literally."
"Or maybe you care too much," said Duo. "It can hurt to care."
"I'm hurting you," stated Heero staring into Duo's eyes.
"I don't expect a pain free existence," countered Duo, "But, if you care about someone, I think at least you can try not to hurt them."
"I was ignoring you because I'm starting to care too much," blurted Heero, out of nowhere.
"I know," said Duo gently brushing his thumb across Heero's lips. "I kind of figured that out. I love you too."
"Aishiteru," said Heero, reaching out to cup Duo's face in his hand.
"I hope that means what I think it means," said Duo, smiling and nuzzling Heero's hand.
"It does."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sally was outside watering the flowers in the backyard.
"Mom!" yelled Matthew, legs pumping as he swung back and forth. "Look how high I am!"
"Higher than the sky!" called Sally. She shaded her eyes with her hand and looked up into the afternoon sunshine.
"Sally?" she jumped as she heard a familiar voice.
"Wufei?" she said. She went over and unlocked the gate to the back yard.
"How did you get here?" she asked.
"I walked," he said shortly. "It's only a mile or so."
"Can I get you something to drink?" she asked politely. "Please, come in out of the sun. It's hot."
"Thank you," he said, coming into the cool shade of the trees in the yard.
"I'm sorry to come by uninvited," he began, "But I started walking and somehow, I ended up here."
Sally looked him carefully. "You're upset about something."
He jerked up his head. "I suppose that is obvious," he admitted.
"Come and sit down and I'll get you a drink first."
"Water, please," he said allowing himself to be lead to the deck. He sat on cushioned rattan loveseat.
"I'll be right back."
Wufei sat and wrung his hands.
"Wufei" said Matt, jumping off the swing and running over. "Did you come to visit me?" asked the boy, climbing up on the deck. "I got a new Pikachu, you wanna see it?"
"Of course," said Wufei, composing his features. "Although I do not know what a Pikachu is, exactly."
Matt laughed. "You don't know anything about cool stuff," he said. "But that's okay," he added consolingly. "Most grown ups don't."
"Thank you for being so understanding," said Wufei, beginning to calm down. His mouth quirked with a small smile.
"Here's your water," said Sally, coming out of the French doors and handing him a tall glass of ice water. She had another one in her hand and sat it down on the wicker table.
"Matt, I called Brian's mom and he wants you to come over and see his new goldfish."
"Brian lives next door," explained Matt. "Can I go now, Mom?" he asked.
"Yes, dear, I'm sure he meant for you to come right away."
"I'm not a deer," complained Matt.
"Brian is waiting for you," said Sally. "Be sure and shut the gate on your way out."
Matt looked up at Wufei. "I'll have to show you Pikachu later," he said breezily. "Sorry!" He ran across the yard and slid out the gate, making sure it clicked on the way out.
"What's up?" asked Sally, taking a sip of her water.
"Did you know that Duo Maxwell and Heero Yuy have become lovers?" Wufei asked her.
"I wondered," said Sally casually. "It certainly explains the singing." She grinned. "Duo has a tendency to sing when he's happy."
"This should not have happened," said Wufei, frowning.
"Surely, you don't have any objections," asked Sally, raising her eyebrows. "You don't strike me as the homophobic type."
"NO!" said Wufei, setting down his water so hard it sloshed over the side of the glass. "It's not right for Heero to do this to Maxwell. I know him, Sally, he is not capable of sustaining an intimate relationship. He pushes people away. He can't help it, he's afraid."
"Duo is a big boy," said Sally. "I think he knows what he's getting into."
"This is not good," said Wufei.
"You're really upset about this, aren't you?" asked Sally kindly.
"Of COURSE I'm upset!" said Wufei, his voice rising.
"If you're going to yell," said Sally mildly. "We'll have to go inside."
"I'm NOT yelling," he whispered fiercely.
"This can't be about Duo," said Sally. "At least not all of it."
"I went over to Duo's to confront Heero," said Wufei. He sat back and folded his arms.
"I take it that it didn't go too well," said Sally dryly.
"Heero Yuy is a cold ass computer-fucking idiot!" yelled Wufei, slamming his hand down on the table, spilling his glass of water.
"You spilled your water," said Sally pointing.
"I'm sorry," whispered Wufei.
"So," said Sally. "We've established that Heero Yuy has non-consensual sexual relations with electronic appliances. What else?"
"You're making fun of me," said Wufei, his eyes widening in anger.
"NO, I'm waiting, rather patiently, I might add, for you to tell me what the hell is really wrong," said Sally in a brittle voice.
"If you want my help, you have to tell me what is really bothering you, or I can't do that."
"This is not about me," Wufei said tersely. He pushed back a strand of hair that had come out of his ponytail, and tucked it behind his ear.
"Would you like some more water?" asked Sally.
"Yes, please," Wufei said, now somewhat embarrassed.
Sally rose and retrieved the glass. "Come inside," she invited him.
Wufei followed her inside the cool interior of the dining room, and into the kitchen.
"Go sit on the sofa," she said, "And I'll bring you some more water."
Wufei went into the living room. Sally came in a few seconds later with another glass of ice water and handed it to him. He was standing in front of the small fireplace, gazing at the various photos on the mantle.
"Is that your husband's picture?" he asked, pointing to a photo of a dark haired handsome Asian man with smiling features.
"Yes," said Sally. "Matt looks just like him, doesn't he?" She smiled fondly when she mentioned her son's name.
"Yes, I see the resemblance," said Wufei. He took a long drink of water and carefully sat his glass down on a coaster on the coffee table.
"Doesn't it bother you?" he finally asked.
"What?" asked Sally, looking puzzled. "Bother me?"
"To have all these reminders of him around you," said Wufei.
"Why should it?" Sally asked. "He's gone, but I don't want to forget he ever existed."
"I have no pictures of Meilan," he said. "Not displayed, anyway."
"Meilan?" Sally repeated. "Was that your wife?"
"Yes," said Wufei.
"Pretty name," said Sally. "I've always hated mine," she confessed. She sat down her glass.
"So, it was about her?" asked Sally. "What you and Heero argued about, I mean."
"Yes," said Wufei. He sat down on the sofa. Sally sat down next to him and reached for his hand in a comforting gesture. He unconsciously shifted away.
"I promise, I don't have cooties," joked Sally to cover her hurt at this small rejection.
"I can't think when you're that close," said Wufei.
"I think you've made it clear how you feel about me," said Sally coldly. "I'll try not to touch you anymore than necessary from now on."
"I've hurt your feelings," he said quietly. "I'll go."
"I think you should," said Sally stiffly. "You don't really want to talk to me, and you obviously find me repugnant, so there's no point to you being here. I will drive you back to the inn though. I don't want you to over- tire yourself; we have a lot of work to do tomorrow. Wait here and I'll call the neighbors and ask if Matt can stay until I get back."
"You don't have to do that," said Wufei. "I don't find you 'repugnant'. Not at all."
"You nearly flinch out of your skin every time I'm near you," Sally pointed out. "That usually means something is wrong."
"It's not you," he said quietly. "It's me. Please don't be offended. I'm sorry."
He sat down and massaged the back of his neck with his left hand.
"Is your arm hurting you?" asked Sally, noticing that he wasn't using it.
"No," he said. "I've just had a long miserable day and I'm very tense."
"Well, you can't expect people to feel to sympathize with you if you refuse any form of human contact or comfort," said Sally.
Wufei chuckled darkly, not a happy sound. "I just accused Heero Yuy of that very thing, and he told me I was a total hypocrite." He laughed ruefully again, shaking his head. "He was right, I'm such a goddamned hypocrite. Telling him to quit being such a cold bastard and I'm a bigger one than he is. You try to be nice to me and I treat you like you have a disease. I'm pathetic."
Sally's eyes widened slowly and she sank back down on the sofa.
"I should go before I make an even bigger fool of myself than I already am," said Wufei bitterly.
"You don't have to go," said Sally. "Don't leave while you're so upset."
"I've imposed on you enough," said Wufei wearily. "I'm tired, I hurt and I'm not very good company."
"Just lie down on the sofa," insisted Sally. "It's not as if I haven't seen you in pain before. And when you're rested, I'll drive you back to the inn. Or, you can stay and have dinner here with Matt and I."
"I couldn't," began Wufei.
"You're doing it again," said Sally, rolling her eyes. "Quit pushing me away, ben dan, I'm only inviting you to dinner, not trying to seduce you."
Wufei's eyes widened, and he blushed furiously. "What?" he asked hoarsely.
"Do you really want me to repeat that?" asked Sally archly. "Try to take a nap, and I'll let you know when dinner is ready."
Wufei slid his hands under his head and contemplated the ceiling as he heard Sally making noises in the kitchen. Before he drifted off into a comfortable sleep, he began to smell the beginnings of food cooking. Something spice- filled and wonderful, he thought sleepily.
Somewhat later, Matt came in through the back door. "Mom!" he yelled, "I'm back."
"Shh," said Sally. "Wufei is asleep on the sofa. Don't wake him."
Matt crept into the living room to take a peek then came back.
"He looks nicer when he's sleeping," said Matt. "Is he going to spend the night?" he asked innocently.
Sally coughed. "I don't think so," she said, turning her head so Matt couldn't see her face flame.
"He just staying for dinner."
"Good, I can show him my Pikachu," said Matt.
"Why don't you play in your room until dinner, honey?" asked Sally.
"Okay," said Matt. "Can I watch cartoons?"
"Sure," said Sally absently.
"Can I have a candy bar?" asked Matt, pushing his luck.
"Here," said Sally handing him a banana.
"Darn it," said Matt. He took the banana.
Author: Gina Lin Genre: Romance, Adventure Pairing: 13+6, 1+2, 3+4, 5+S Warnings: Citrus, Language, AU, Yaoi Rating: R Archived: S_E Updates, GWFF, FF.net
Chapter 13
"So, this is where you're staying?" asked Wufei, when Heero answered the door to Duo's house.
Heero ushered him inside. "Duo was kind enough to let me use his guest room."
"You sleeping with him?" asked Wufei, folding his arms.
"Right to the point as usual," Heero observed.
Wufei noticed the open laptop on the dining room table. "I knew you couldn't resist," he said, walking over to the device.
Heero stood in front of the display. "I'll pay up," he said, shrugging indifferently.
"You didn't answer my question about Maxwell," said Wufei.
"What do you care?" asked Heero levelly.
"I care about you. Look up "care", Heero, it's no doubt under the definition of 'friend'."
"We've been..intimate," said Heero, uncomfortably.
"I guess it really is none of my business," said Wufei, softening his expression. "I'm worried about you, Heero. What the hell is up with you anyway? Punching out that security guard, jumping in the sack with the first good looking guy that comes along, loosing it at a simple dinner party?"
Heero sat down heavily. "Same thing that's always been wrong with me, Wufei."
"I thought that was all behind you. Behind us," Wufei amended.
"I keep seeing it," said Heero shortly. "It hasn't gone away. Somehow, you have conquered this and I have not."
"My demons are still there, Heero," said Wufei softly. He sat down next to Heero. "But, I never tried to pretend they didn't exist."
"Duo said I'm trying to go around it instead of through it," reflected Heero. "Maybe he's right."
"Duo is correct," said Wufei. "I survived by honoring Triton's memory, his bravery, his sacrifice. I don't want to forget it. But then, I forgave myself for his death also. That is the first step. We didn't kill him, Heero. You didn't kill him. If he were here, he'd tell you that himself. "
"You need to take your own advice, Chang," said Heero harshly. "You talk about forgiving yourself, but you haven't even looked at another woman since Meilan died. You live like some sort of fucking monument of self- denial to her memory."
"That's different," said Wufei tightly, clenching his fists. "That WAS my fault. I killed her. An accident, but I'm responsible, nonetheless."
"Bullshit!" said Heero. "You're so full of shit."
Wufei stood up. "I'm leaving," he announced. "Because if I don't, I'm probably going to kick your sorry ass all over this room."
"I could always take you, Chang," snarled Heero. "Especially in the shape you're in now."
"Go hump your laptop," said Wufei coldly. "I'm leaving."
"Gee, guys, did I interrupt something?" asked Duo with a nervous laugh from the front doorway.
Heero and Wufei glared at him respectively.
"I heard yelling, so I came in to see what the hell is going on," said Duo.
"I was just leaving," said Wufei, pushing past Duo in the entryway.
He turned, "I'm sorry to be so rude," he said to Duo, then left.
"He looks royally pissed," said Duo with studied casualness as Wufei strode stiffly out the door.
"Fucking hypocrite," said Heero under his breath.
"Wanna tell me what that was all about?" asked Duo.
"No," said Heero.
"Back to monosyllables," said Duo. "Not a good sign."
Heero glared at him. "This has nothing to do with you."
Duo's eyes frosted over with sudden anger.
"No, I'm just the guy you fuck," said Duo, his voice edgy with sarcasm. "The guy whose house you're living in at the moment, so it's none of my business.
"I can remedy that quite easily," said Heero, walking past him down the hall.
"Where are you going?" asked Duo, following him a few paces behind.
"I'm getting my things," said Heero woodenly. "I'll be gone in half an hour."
"What?" exclaimed Duo. His stomach clenched violently.
"I never said you had to leave," Duo said tightly. "But, I can see that's sort of a pattern with you. Boy, I thought I was the run and hide type, but you've got me beat all to hell and back. "
"What?" asked Heero, turning around from grabbing his bags from the small closet. He dropped them.
"I need everyone to get out of my head," he said, sitting heavily on the bed and running a hand through his unruly hair.
"The only person who needs to get out of your head is you," said Duo angrily.
"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Heero, looking confused.
"You figure it out," said Duo. "I've been sitting here the last two nights watching the back of your head while you make love to your laptop, then you crawl off to this room. I mean, I'm not so narcissistic I need your attention every minute of the goddamn day, but acknowledging I'm alive once in a while would be nice."
Heero gave a short bark of laughter. "Wufei told me to go hump my laptop."
Duo walked over and sat down next to the other man, pressing their shoulders together.
"I think your friend Wufei cares an awful lot about you or he could never get under your skin like this."
Heero lay back on the bed. "My head hurts," he whispered.
Duo put his hand on Heero's stomach. "That's because you're so tense, I could do my ironing on you," he said. "If I actually ever did any ironing," he added offhandedly.
Heero snorted. Duo felt the tightness under his hand relax a bit.
"Roll over," said Duo gently. "I'll get rid of your headache." He reached up to Heero's neck and began to rub the tense muscles.
"Duo," came Heero's muffled voice from against the coverlet.
"What?" asked Duo, kneeling and straddling the other man's thighs to finish the massage.
"I'm sorry I ignored you," said Heero. "You're right about me. I was going to leave. Over nothing."
"Well, you did warn me you were not always a nice person," said Duo, shrugging. "At least you're honest," he chuckled. He his hands down and gently squeezed the tense muscles of Heero's tense shoulders.
"Off," he commanded, tugging at the bottom of Heero's black shirt. Heero raised himself onto his elbow and undid the top buttons and Duo pulled the shirt off over his head as though he were a sleepy child.
"I killed him."
"Who?" asked Duo, his eyes widening and hands hesitating on Heero's shoulders for fleeting moment.
"Triton," Heero said. "If I'd followed the order to retreat, he'd still be alive."
"Triton was Trowa's brother," said Duo, nodding to himself.
"How do you know that?" asked Heero, stiffening in surprise under Duo's hands.
"Wufei said something about to Sally and me," said Duo.
"What did he say?" asked Heero flatly.
"That you three were captured, and Triton died of his wounds. That's all."
"He didn't tell you how it happened?" asked Heero quietly, his voice barely audible.
"No," replied Duo. "You don't exactly press someone you hardly know for details about that sort of thing. But, he never said anything about it being your fault."
"Wufei would never say that," sighed Heero. "But that doesn't make it any less true."
"The bad guys killed him, Heero," said Duo. "Is that so hard to accept?"
"We should never have been there in the first place!" cried Heero, burying his face in the bed's coverlet. "The bad guys are just guys," he said, his voice becoming quieter. "They bleed red exactly like we do."
"Easy!" breathed Duo, feeling Heero's body become completely rigid underneath him.
"Gave me a goddamn fucking medal for killing my friend," said Heero mournfully.
Duo felt a shudder pass through Heero, but there was no sound.
He pressed his cheek against Heero's back. The small patch of scar tissue there felt rough against his cheek.
"No more running," whispered Duo. "This thing is going to have you whether you want it to or not. So just let it. I promise you won't die. It'll hurt, but you won't die. It gets better, I promise."
"Stay with me?" asked Heero roughly. "When I'm alone, that's the worst, it won't stop." He reached up and pulled at his hair in a despairing gesture.
"I'm not going anywhere." Duo slid alongside Heero so he could see his face, and put his arm over him.
"Why do you want me?" asked Heero plaintively in a choked voice, looking away. "I'm terrible at this..this," he made a vague gesture with his hand.
"I dunno," said Duo honestly. "That probably says something about me. It's not like I've figured any of this relationship crap out either. I mean, my last boyfriend was a drunk who thought my head resembled a punching bag. "
"You're a good person," said Heero. Duo snorted softly in denial. "I wish," he said quietly.
"You care," said Heero. "Wufei said it too; I work hard at not caring. It's become my profession, literally."
"Or maybe you care too much," said Duo. "It can hurt to care."
"I'm hurting you," stated Heero staring into Duo's eyes.
"I don't expect a pain free existence," countered Duo, "But, if you care about someone, I think at least you can try not to hurt them."
"I was ignoring you because I'm starting to care too much," blurted Heero, out of nowhere.
"I know," said Duo gently brushing his thumb across Heero's lips. "I kind of figured that out. I love you too."
"Aishiteru," said Heero, reaching out to cup Duo's face in his hand.
"I hope that means what I think it means," said Duo, smiling and nuzzling Heero's hand.
"It does."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sally was outside watering the flowers in the backyard.
"Mom!" yelled Matthew, legs pumping as he swung back and forth. "Look how high I am!"
"Higher than the sky!" called Sally. She shaded her eyes with her hand and looked up into the afternoon sunshine.
"Sally?" she jumped as she heard a familiar voice.
"Wufei?" she said. She went over and unlocked the gate to the back yard.
"How did you get here?" she asked.
"I walked," he said shortly. "It's only a mile or so."
"Can I get you something to drink?" she asked politely. "Please, come in out of the sun. It's hot."
"Thank you," he said, coming into the cool shade of the trees in the yard.
"I'm sorry to come by uninvited," he began, "But I started walking and somehow, I ended up here."
Sally looked him carefully. "You're upset about something."
He jerked up his head. "I suppose that is obvious," he admitted.
"Come and sit down and I'll get you a drink first."
"Water, please," he said allowing himself to be lead to the deck. He sat on cushioned rattan loveseat.
"I'll be right back."
Wufei sat and wrung his hands.
"Wufei" said Matt, jumping off the swing and running over. "Did you come to visit me?" asked the boy, climbing up on the deck. "I got a new Pikachu, you wanna see it?"
"Of course," said Wufei, composing his features. "Although I do not know what a Pikachu is, exactly."
Matt laughed. "You don't know anything about cool stuff," he said. "But that's okay," he added consolingly. "Most grown ups don't."
"Thank you for being so understanding," said Wufei, beginning to calm down. His mouth quirked with a small smile.
"Here's your water," said Sally, coming out of the French doors and handing him a tall glass of ice water. She had another one in her hand and sat it down on the wicker table.
"Matt, I called Brian's mom and he wants you to come over and see his new goldfish."
"Brian lives next door," explained Matt. "Can I go now, Mom?" he asked.
"Yes, dear, I'm sure he meant for you to come right away."
"I'm not a deer," complained Matt.
"Brian is waiting for you," said Sally. "Be sure and shut the gate on your way out."
Matt looked up at Wufei. "I'll have to show you Pikachu later," he said breezily. "Sorry!" He ran across the yard and slid out the gate, making sure it clicked on the way out.
"What's up?" asked Sally, taking a sip of her water.
"Did you know that Duo Maxwell and Heero Yuy have become lovers?" Wufei asked her.
"I wondered," said Sally casually. "It certainly explains the singing." She grinned. "Duo has a tendency to sing when he's happy."
"This should not have happened," said Wufei, frowning.
"Surely, you don't have any objections," asked Sally, raising her eyebrows. "You don't strike me as the homophobic type."
"NO!" said Wufei, setting down his water so hard it sloshed over the side of the glass. "It's not right for Heero to do this to Maxwell. I know him, Sally, he is not capable of sustaining an intimate relationship. He pushes people away. He can't help it, he's afraid."
"Duo is a big boy," said Sally. "I think he knows what he's getting into."
"This is not good," said Wufei.
"You're really upset about this, aren't you?" asked Sally kindly.
"Of COURSE I'm upset!" said Wufei, his voice rising.
"If you're going to yell," said Sally mildly. "We'll have to go inside."
"I'm NOT yelling," he whispered fiercely.
"This can't be about Duo," said Sally. "At least not all of it."
"I went over to Duo's to confront Heero," said Wufei. He sat back and folded his arms.
"I take it that it didn't go too well," said Sally dryly.
"Heero Yuy is a cold ass computer-fucking idiot!" yelled Wufei, slamming his hand down on the table, spilling his glass of water.
"You spilled your water," said Sally pointing.
"I'm sorry," whispered Wufei.
"So," said Sally. "We've established that Heero Yuy has non-consensual sexual relations with electronic appliances. What else?"
"You're making fun of me," said Wufei, his eyes widening in anger.
"NO, I'm waiting, rather patiently, I might add, for you to tell me what the hell is really wrong," said Sally in a brittle voice.
"If you want my help, you have to tell me what is really bothering you, or I can't do that."
"This is not about me," Wufei said tersely. He pushed back a strand of hair that had come out of his ponytail, and tucked it behind his ear.
"Would you like some more water?" asked Sally.
"Yes, please," Wufei said, now somewhat embarrassed.
Sally rose and retrieved the glass. "Come inside," she invited him.
Wufei followed her inside the cool interior of the dining room, and into the kitchen.
"Go sit on the sofa," she said, "And I'll bring you some more water."
Wufei went into the living room. Sally came in a few seconds later with another glass of ice water and handed it to him. He was standing in front of the small fireplace, gazing at the various photos on the mantle.
"Is that your husband's picture?" he asked, pointing to a photo of a dark haired handsome Asian man with smiling features.
"Yes," said Sally. "Matt looks just like him, doesn't he?" She smiled fondly when she mentioned her son's name.
"Yes, I see the resemblance," said Wufei. He took a long drink of water and carefully sat his glass down on a coaster on the coffee table.
"Doesn't it bother you?" he finally asked.
"What?" asked Sally, looking puzzled. "Bother me?"
"To have all these reminders of him around you," said Wufei.
"Why should it?" Sally asked. "He's gone, but I don't want to forget he ever existed."
"I have no pictures of Meilan," he said. "Not displayed, anyway."
"Meilan?" Sally repeated. "Was that your wife?"
"Yes," said Wufei.
"Pretty name," said Sally. "I've always hated mine," she confessed. She sat down her glass.
"So, it was about her?" asked Sally. "What you and Heero argued about, I mean."
"Yes," said Wufei. He sat down on the sofa. Sally sat down next to him and reached for his hand in a comforting gesture. He unconsciously shifted away.
"I promise, I don't have cooties," joked Sally to cover her hurt at this small rejection.
"I can't think when you're that close," said Wufei.
"I think you've made it clear how you feel about me," said Sally coldly. "I'll try not to touch you anymore than necessary from now on."
"I've hurt your feelings," he said quietly. "I'll go."
"I think you should," said Sally stiffly. "You don't really want to talk to me, and you obviously find me repugnant, so there's no point to you being here. I will drive you back to the inn though. I don't want you to over- tire yourself; we have a lot of work to do tomorrow. Wait here and I'll call the neighbors and ask if Matt can stay until I get back."
"You don't have to do that," said Wufei. "I don't find you 'repugnant'. Not at all."
"You nearly flinch out of your skin every time I'm near you," Sally pointed out. "That usually means something is wrong."
"It's not you," he said quietly. "It's me. Please don't be offended. I'm sorry."
He sat down and massaged the back of his neck with his left hand.
"Is your arm hurting you?" asked Sally, noticing that he wasn't using it.
"No," he said. "I've just had a long miserable day and I'm very tense."
"Well, you can't expect people to feel to sympathize with you if you refuse any form of human contact or comfort," said Sally.
Wufei chuckled darkly, not a happy sound. "I just accused Heero Yuy of that very thing, and he told me I was a total hypocrite." He laughed ruefully again, shaking his head. "He was right, I'm such a goddamned hypocrite. Telling him to quit being such a cold bastard and I'm a bigger one than he is. You try to be nice to me and I treat you like you have a disease. I'm pathetic."
Sally's eyes widened slowly and she sank back down on the sofa.
"I should go before I make an even bigger fool of myself than I already am," said Wufei bitterly.
"You don't have to go," said Sally. "Don't leave while you're so upset."
"I've imposed on you enough," said Wufei wearily. "I'm tired, I hurt and I'm not very good company."
"Just lie down on the sofa," insisted Sally. "It's not as if I haven't seen you in pain before. And when you're rested, I'll drive you back to the inn. Or, you can stay and have dinner here with Matt and I."
"I couldn't," began Wufei.
"You're doing it again," said Sally, rolling her eyes. "Quit pushing me away, ben dan, I'm only inviting you to dinner, not trying to seduce you."
Wufei's eyes widened, and he blushed furiously. "What?" he asked hoarsely.
"Do you really want me to repeat that?" asked Sally archly. "Try to take a nap, and I'll let you know when dinner is ready."
Wufei slid his hands under his head and contemplated the ceiling as he heard Sally making noises in the kitchen. Before he drifted off into a comfortable sleep, he began to smell the beginnings of food cooking. Something spice- filled and wonderful, he thought sleepily.
Somewhat later, Matt came in through the back door. "Mom!" he yelled, "I'm back."
"Shh," said Sally. "Wufei is asleep on the sofa. Don't wake him."
Matt crept into the living room to take a peek then came back.
"He looks nicer when he's sleeping," said Matt. "Is he going to spend the night?" he asked innocently.
Sally coughed. "I don't think so," she said, turning her head so Matt couldn't see her face flame.
"He just staying for dinner."
"Good, I can show him my Pikachu," said Matt.
"Why don't you play in your room until dinner, honey?" asked Sally.
"Okay," said Matt. "Can I watch cartoons?"
"Sure," said Sally absently.
"Can I have a candy bar?" asked Matt, pushing his luck.
"Here," said Sally handing him a banana.
"Darn it," said Matt. He took the banana.