Chapter 10: Is There a Light in this Tunnel?
Harry peeked out the bedroom door, clad only in his t-shirt and boxers. It was very late but he could see the shifting pattern of firelight dancing at the bottom of the stairs. He glanced to the empty beds in his room and then moved quietly down the stairs, bare feet whispering on bare wood.
Peering into the living room he saw a figure seated in one of the cushy chairs, back to Harry, long legs clad in black silk stretched out on the hassock with pale feet warmed by the fire. Harry moved up behind him, "Is everything alright?" he whispered.
A single nod replied.
Reaching out, Harry gently touched the soft black hair streaked with white. When Severus didn't protest, Harry began carding his fingers through the silky strands and Severus gave a soft contented sigh. Harry began massaging Severus' scalp, starting at the forehead with just his fingertips working small circles as he slowly moved back over the crown of his head, down the backside to his neck. Then Harry slowly pushed his fingers back up and over to Severus' forehead to begin again. Harry could feel Severus melt beneath his hands.
After a few passes, Severus reached up, captured one of Harry's hands, gently tugged and guided Harry around to the front of the chair. Severus' heavy lidded eyes sparked with a fire hotter than the one in the fireplace. Harry swallowed and tried to wet his suddenly dry mouth and felt flush with a heat of his own. Severus slowly wet his lips with the tip of his rosy tongue. Harry felt his breath quicken as Severus' burning eyes traveled over his form, devouring him in a greedy gaze. Severus shifted, sitting up straight in the chair and dropping his feet to the floor.
"Sit," Severus commanded in a velvet voice. Harry shivered, nodded and carefully straddled Severus' legs.
"Oh," Harry whispered involuntarily as his bare thighs slid along soft satin clad muscular legs. Severus wrapped his strong arms around Harry's waist and pulled him closer; Harry's body throbbed in response, tingling sparks sensitizing every nerve. Severus reached up an elegant hand to Harry's face and tapped three times in the center of his forehead.
"Huh?" Harry jerked awake. "What?"
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Someone was softly but insistently tapping on the bedroom door. Harry squinted, dragged his glasses on and looked around. The gray of the room suggested either a very early morning or a washed out rainy day. His exhaustion supported the former theory. The tapping stopped and a grateful Harry rolled over, not bothering with his glasses, pulled the blankets over his head and tried to resume his dreaming.
Harry jumped when the sound returned, only the volume had increased to a full out knock. Harry sat up and glanced at Severus in time to see him pointing his wand at the door. Throwing off the blankets, he flew to the door.
"Shush!" he called. Harry grabbed the door handle and shouted as his palm was stung. A high pitched shriek echoed on the other side of the door. 'That took care of my other problem' thought Harry with a glance down. He turned to Severus, who had rolled away, feigning sleep.
"Very amusing, Severus," Harry said, holding his stung hand pressed to his chest with his other hand.
Severus snickered. "Fool," he said, voice muffled by the pillow.
Harry countered the hex on the door and opened it a crack to see Petunia, in a pink frilly dressing gown, clutching her hand like Harry, her face white with fear.
"What?" Harry grumbled.
"The door…" she gasped out, pointing with a shaky finger.
"Yeah well, don't piss off a wizard before 6 a.m." Petunia stared at him. "It's just a stinging hex, nothing permanent."
"What if it's an emergency?" she wailed.
"I'd already know and would've been up probably before you'd think to come get me." Harry yawned and leaned against the door jamb. He rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "Now why did you wake me at this ungodly hour?"
"How would you know if there was an emergency?" she whispered.
"Spelled my wand to alert me. What did you want?" Harry was starting to feel very irritated. 'I was having the most amazing dream…'
"How does that work? How can it know to alert you?" Petunia demanded.
"It's called magic," Harry said slowly, enunciating in an exaggerated fashion. "Want me to demonstrate some? I'm rather fond of that stinging hex, well, when I'm not on the receiving end." Harry heard a smothered snigger.
"No!" said Petunia. She rubbed her palms onto her dressing gown and drew herself up. "Where is that woman? Dudley is awake and needs seeing to."
Harry gave her a hard look and in a cold voice said, "It's Hypericia or the mediwitch, not 'that woman'." He waited until Petunia nodded understanding. "She should be here between 8 and 9 this morning." Harry held out his hand, "Accio Daily Prophet" and the paper flew up the stairs to land neatly in his palm. "Here's the paper, go entertain yourself. Don't disturb me further."
Petunia didn't reach for the paper and Harry let it fall to the floor. He stepped back and closed the door.
Glancing to Severus, he grinned and crossed the floor as silently as possible. Harry slipped a cold hand under the blankets and against Severus' skin. Severus jerked, flipped over and scowled as a giggling Harry crawled back into his bed.
"Potter," he snarled.
Harry peaked out from the blankets. "Gotcha." Severus sniffed and turned away. Harry smiled, placed his glasses on the nightstand, snuggled down and willed his dream to return.
***
After breakfast that morning, Harry was in Dudley's room waiting to hear Hypericia's evaluation. She was holding her wand parallel to Dudley, moving it steadily over him while murmuring incantations. Dudley, pale and sweaty, flicked his beady eyes swiftly from Petunia to Harry to the wand. Petunia was not allowed to hold his hand at this moment so she sat beside the bed smoothing her skirt repeatedly. Hypericia nodded to herself and looked up.
"Looks good," she said with a smile to Petunia.
"Yes?" Petunia asked breathlessly.
"Yes. The potions have stabilized his heart and kidneys, stopping the deterioration and now we can begin repairing the damage. Also we will begin treating the dy...a...bee...tees." She began bustling around the bedside table arranging potion bottles.
"And how will you accomplish all this?" asked Petunia while watching Hypericia closely.
"Potions. This one's for Gunhilda's syndrome, I mean, oh whatever you call it, and it will need to be taken monthly." She held up a green vial.
"Monthly? For how long?" Petunia quizzed.
"Rest of his life."
"I thought you said you could cure him! 'I can fix that in a jiffy' you said. We might have to go through this all again?" Petunia's voice grew loud and shrill.
"I can fix him and he won't go through this again. He just needs to take a potion once a month. Then he's all set." Hypericia was beginning to look uncharacteristically irritated.
"But…" Petunia rose to continue complaining when Harry stepped forward.
"Aunt Petunia, do you remember the 'pissing off a wizard' lesson from this morning?" Petunia clutched her hand.
"Are you threatening me?" she whispered.
"I'm letting you know that you're being ungrateful and that someone may take it upon themselves to teach you a lesson." Petunia sank boneless into her chair staring wide-eye at Harry. Harry moved close and looked down on her. "Hypericia has already accomplished more in one night than all the 'normal' doctors together in all their time treating Dudley." Harry turned to loom over Dudley's cringing bulk.
"Dudley, you're technically an adult now," Dudley flushed angrily; "perhaps it's time for you to take responsibility for your health. You can choose to take a potion once a month to manage your diabetes. I'll make the arrangements for you to receive that potion. Or you can choose to return to 'normal' medical care. Your parents brought you here because they feared for your life and had no other choice." Petunia took a breath to speak but Harry raised his hand and forestalled her. "But you're stable enough now that you have options. Decide." Harry crossed his arms over his chest and waited.
Dudley glanced at Petunia then Harry. "Just one of those foul tasting drinks once a month? No blood testing? No insulin shots?"
Hypericia looked at Dudley as if he was slow. "No, dear," she patted his hand and spoke gently, "Just a potion." She rolled her eyes at Harry.
Dudley looked to Petunia who struggled to remain silent. 'Is she really going to let him make his own decision?' wondered Harry.
"I'll take the potion," said Dudley.
Petunia grasped Dudley's hand. "If you feel that's best." Dudley nodded and she gave a heavy sigh. "Let me explain it to your father."
Hypericia clapped her hands together causing the Dursleys to jump. "Now these potions will begin the process of healing your heart and kidneys. It will take about a week with constant bed rest," she held up two labeled blue vials. "And of course we've already discussed this one," she shook the green vial gently. Dudley drank each potion as urged, twisting his face into a grimace after each but otherwise making no complaints.
"Harry be a dear and levitate him a bit so he doesn't get bedsore," said Hypericia while she tidied.
"What?" Dudley's eyes bulged.
Harry took out his wand and enjoyed Dudley's fear for a moment. "I'm going to float you a tiny bit off the bed so you won't have sore spots. Like a hovercraft." Harry grinned at the imagery of Dudley the hovercraft transiting the Channel. Dudley gulped and Petunia clapped a hand over her mouth so as not to make a noise when Harry swished and flicked and uttered, "Leviosa minutiae".
Dudley squawked and then smiled of all things. "Bloody hell, Harry! Should've had that done a long time ago."
"You're all right, Duddykins?" asked Petunia, dropping her hand.
"Mummy, it's like I'm floating on air. Hey, I am floating on air. I didn't realize how uncomfortable I was until now." Dudley sighed and his eyes slowly closed. "Tired," he mumbled.
"Not yet, Sleeping Beauty," Hypericia snapped her fingers and Dudley's eyes popped open. "We've something else to discuss."
"What now?" whined Dudley. Harry looked at Hypericia curiously.
"Your weight is excessive. It may undo my work once you are up and about by stressing your body."
"Well, I'll diet," Dudley said halfheartedly.
"I think a more immediate solution should be considered," said Hypericia. She conjured a chair and sat down. The Dursleys' mouths dropped open as they stared at that little trick. Harry snorted and sat on the edge of the bed.
"What you suggesting?" asked Harry, while Dudley and Petunia recovered.
"A Fat Reduction Potion," said Hypericia.
"I can take a potion and all the fat would go away? Cool, I'll take it," said Dudley.
"I thought those were illegal," Harry said.
"They are restricted. Only a trained professional can administer it," Hypericia pointed to herself, "such as me and only where medically necessary. There are severe risks." She folded her hands, put them in her lap and looked thoughtful.
"Screw the risks! No lousy diets or exercise and I can still lose weight. I'll take it." Petunia put a restraining hand on Dudley's shoulder.
"The potion uses the person's own intentions. You must want to lose the weight. Also…"
"I do! I do!" said Dudley.
"If your intention isn't clear, you can actually increase your fat content. It can also shock your body and cause heart failure or brain damage. If you are not dosed properly you could lose too much weight and die. I can do nothing about your intentions. I can control the dosage and no one has died from severe weight loss in my care.
"Lastly the potions that you're taking now should strengthen your body enough to handle the stress – but that isn't a guarantee. That's the greatest risk. I'm reasonably sure that there will be no problems or I wouldn't have even suggested this course. If you decide to go ahead you will need to be monitored constantly. Consider carefully. You have some time to think and ask questions as we couldn't start fat reduction until we conclude your current therapy. I'll get you some material to read to assist you." Hypericia stood and gathered her things to leave.
"I'll do it," said Dudley.
Hypericia smiled and patted his head. "I'll give you some more time in case you change your mind."
Harry walked Hypericia out. He heard Aunt Petunia start in on Dudley even before the door had closed.
***
"So, Harry," Dudley smoothly rolled his ponderous mass over to face Harry. "Heard you got a guy. Should've figured you for a poof." Dudley propped his head up with his hand and grinned.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Severus is my guest. Not my lover." Harry was stuck sitting with Dudley that evening because Petunia didn't want her 'Duddykins' alone while she showered and readied for bed. Harry swiveled to the door hearing a creak on the landing but turned back when he heard nothing further.
"Come on Harry," continued Dudley, "Mum told me how you gushed and got all emotional the other night."
"Just because I care about Severus and apologized to him doesn't mean we're shagging. Severus has taught me a great deal; we fought side by side in the war." Harry put his feet up on the bed and pushed back, raising two chair legs off the floor. "Besides I'm not a poof. I've been involved with men and women. That makes me bi."
"You go both ways?" Dudley's eyebrows lifted.
"I've found that it's not the gender of the person but the person that's attractive. I have no preference." Harry smiled at Dudley's puzzled expression. "That must seem strange to a lady-killer such as you."
Dudley frowned. "It's been a while," he muttered.
They were quiet for a time and Harry thought he heard the floor squeak outside the door again. He got up to check when Dudley spoke again.
"Mum said you called yourself 'the Slayer of Dark Wizards'. Does that mean you've killed someone?"
Harry froze. "Several someones," he whispered.
"How did you feel afterwards?"
"Dirty," Harry turned to face Dudley. "Like the filth of what I had done crept into my very soul and I still feel tainted." Harry wrapped his arms around himself and shivered. "Powerful. Terrified."
"Yes, powerful," Dudley sat up a bit and looked intently at Harry, eyes gleaming strangely. "I smashed that guy and he crumpled to my feet."
"You killed someone?" Dudley nodded. "Boxing?" He nodded again.
"Yeah, I stood over him so hyped it's a wonder I didn't let out some sort of primal scream. I was more that triumphant, I was the Hammer of God." Dudley gave a twisted grin. Harry stared at Dudley and the grin faded and the light in dimmed in his eyes.
"Then I saw the guy's wife. She crawled under the ropes, begged him to get up, shook him to urge him but he was dead. Everyone was in motion all around and here was this one point of absolute stillness. She screamed at me, called me a murderer. I said 'Bitch! He knew the risks.' And my trainer led me away. It hit me later in the shower." Dudley stopped and was gazing off into nothing.
"What hit you?" asked Harry as he sat back in the chair, feeling a bit wobbly.
Dudley swallowed and tried to speak several times before any sounds came out. "It could've been me," he said hoarsely. "That guy could've been the Hammer that night and I could've died, Harry. Hell, its fun bashing those guys but it's a game, you know, for fun, some money and the attention of the ladies. Dying isn't fun, that's not what I want, so I stopped boxing." Dudley began twisting the edge of the blanket around his finger.
"Got a glimpse of your own mortality?" asked Harry. "Let me see if I can tell the rest of the story. You stopped boxing but you entertained your groupies until the money ran out. They deserted you. You moved home and mummy pampered her Duddykins and daddy bemoaned the tragedies of your life but swore it would all work out right in the end. You tried half-heartedly to get a job but spent most of your time watching TV or playing video games. No need to exercise anymore because you weren't in training. You only really went out when you wanted to have a few pints with Piers.
"Then it got to be too much trouble to go out, so Piers brought the beer to you. Soon even Piers stopped coming by because he knew he'd never get laid again hanging around a fat man's house on a Saturday night. You felt abandoned, cried your woes to mummy and daddy who said they'd always love you and be there to take care of you. Food made you feel happy and TV helped you forget your own miserable life. Until one day something happened and you end up hospitalized, etc, etc, etc and you came here." Harry gestured around the room. "The home of your freak cousin using magic to save your sorry arse. How did I do?"
Dudley muttered something and looked away, still twisting the blanket.
Harry stood and put his hands on his hips. "Look at me Dudley," he commanded and Dudley slowly met his eyes. "You're so afraid of dying and yet you drove yourself to death's door. Well, you got off really easy, unbelievable easy. You get another chance. Not many people do, so try not to screw it up. It's your life, grab onto it and decided how you want to spend it. Everyone dies in the end. What are you going to do until then?" Harry held Dudley's gaze trying to psychically hammer his message into Dudley's brain.
Petunia walked in, back in her frilly pink dressing gown, and demanded to know what was going on.
"Nothing, Aunt Petunia, we were just talking."
Petunia watched him move to the door with narrowed eyes.
Harry stopped at the door and turned to Dudley. "Good night, Dudders, mummy's here to take care of you now," he said in a high sing-song voice. Dudley glared and looked away. Harry closed the door behind him.
Harry walked across the hall to his bedroom. Severus was sitting on his bed, propped up on his pillows, reading a parchment.
"I have some of the strangest conversations. I mean how can you go from a discussion of sexual preference to the fear of death?" Harry stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers. Severus glanced over and then quickly away.
"I would not hazard a guess. And for the record, I do not believe you to be tainted in any manner. You did what you did out of necessity, not malice. The intent makes all the difference."
Harry sat on his bed. "Thanks," he said softly. "Guess I need to fix that loose floor board in the hall."
"Mmm, there are two," Severus said without looking up.
He watched Severus read for a bit. "Whatcha got?"
Severus looked up and sighed, "It arrived a short time ago. I'm not sure what to make of it." He handed the parchment to Harry.
Dear Mr. Snape,
I'm sure that Harry has relayed our recent conversation regarding the rejection of your book proposal by several publishers. I was quite distressed to inform him that the rejections were due to politics rather than merit.
However, I believe there may be a solution.
Today I lunched with an acquaintance from an American publishing firm; John Scriblen of Erudite Press. Mr. Scriblen told me how the Department of Magical Education in America was updating it Defense Against the Dark Arts curriculum in light of recent events here. I informed him there was a quality textbook in progress, authored by someone directly involved in the war, but was unlikely to be published in England due to political opposition. Mr. Scriblen expressed a great desire to read your proposal, not at all dismayed by your problems.
Therefore, I suggest you forward your synopsis and outline to him immediately, care of The Leaky Cauldron. He has assured me that the matter will be kept strictly confidential.
Sincerely,
Terry Boot
"This is fabulous. I can have Hedwig go out immediately." Harry was grinning, but Severus looked wary. Harry's grin faded. "You still think it's some prank. That I'm priming you so I can pull the rug out from under your feet?" Harry's voice was harsh and angry.
"No," Severus said quietly, "But someone is targeting me and how do I know that Boot's not involved?"
Harry relaxed and smiled again. "Severus, the whole world is not against you."
Severus arched an eyebrow.
"Okay. Okay. A seriously large part of it."
Severus snorted.
"Let's do this. Your proposal has already circulated so it can't hurt to send it out again. Then while you get back to work on your book, I'll have someone look into John Scriblen of Erudite Press and see if it's legitimate."
Severus seemed to consider Harry's words for a while before responding. "I concur. It will be good to have something to occupy my time; however I will need to acquire some sort of paying job to support the expense of this undertaking. I also need to reimburse you." Severus looked at Harry pointedly.
Harry groaned and slumped back onto his bed. "Severus, didn't you ever have any friends? Don't answer that, it was rhetorical." Harry looked over to see Severus glaring at him. "Friends take care of each other, look out for each other. They don't worry about being even because they know the other would do the same for them. I don't want reimbursement. As far as financial support while writing your book, I suggest applying for a grant. I know just the organization. They're dedicated to assisting victims of Voldemort and you over-qualify there." Harry gave an impish smile while Severus looked thoughtful.
"You consider me a friend?" asked Severus.
"Yes, a prickly bastard of a friend, but a friend nonetheless."
Severus gave him a sharp look but said, "I shall apply for this grant. And we will revisit the topic of reimbursement at later date." Harry sighed heavily. "For now I will get the necessary information to Mr. Scriblen." Severus got up, retrieved his parchment from Harry, and swept out of the room.
Harry crawled under the blankets, chuckled and murmured, "Grant approved."
***