The disclaimer thingy!!!- first of all I'm sorry if this took longer to update^_^; I got into a drawing frenzy! And then other things came up. Please don't go away dear reviewers ;_; I need you!!! Okay now for the real disclaimers: I don't own phantom of the opera. I own a little Erik plushie, but he is very bad and tries to kill me in the night, and has repeatedly tried to cut down my hanging light thingy in the kitchen so it will fall on my head ;_; but I still love 'em! I also don't own the Oscar Meyer wiener song^_^ disclaimers aside! We are now on to other stuffs that need to come to attention^_^
Erik- T___T I don't want to sing the song. I sang it once already. *see Phantom Of The Shrub*
Kippo-girl- if you sing it I'll make it so that you will get Christine in the end of this story^_^ come on! You need to show that you're sorry for being ungentlemanly!!
Erik- …And the Oscar Meyer wiener song shows that I'm a gentleman?
Kippo-girl- No, it shows that you're sorry, and I give out weird punishments!
Erik- *after much hesitation* fine, but only if I get Christine, and I get to kill you too for your punishment for making me sing the da- I mean…song.
Kippo-girl- ^__^ you can kill me if you catch me! But you'll get Christine^_^
Erik- *thinks a bit, grits his teeth and then faces the audience* …Hello. *Fake smile* It seems that It completely slipped my mind that there was ladies in the audience when I addressed monsieur RAOUL in such a manner as I did. I am sorry for any lady I offended with my harsh speaking. Fops like RAOUL…*eye twitch* just boil my blood T__T …but enough of that! I will now sing you a SONG TO SHOW YOU MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES. *Clears throat and stupid little music starts to play* …OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weeeeiiiiineeeerrrr, That is what I'd truly like to BEEEEEEEEEEEEE….and if I were an OSCAR MEYER weeeeeeiiiiiiineeeeeerrrr everyone would beeeee iiiin LOOOOVEEE with… *raises arms up* MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! …I hope you'll accept my apology and not take it upon this poor, pathetic girl who is about to experience an untimely DEATH.
Kippo-girl- *huuuug* thank you!
Erik- *crazed glint in eye*
Kippo-girl- ^_^ …….………..…………..….……………………………… HELP ME STAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs away* anyway on with the story! And thank you for reviewing^__^ every time some one reads a fanfiction and doesn't review, a little child in a far off country cries. Do it for the children ;_; *man Erik's gonna slaughter me if he finds out I have no authoress powers ^_^;*
Chapter 2!!!!!
*the next morning* Erik- *just waking up in bed* ahhh… another horribly lonely day of misery! *hears a voice in the other room* who's here?! *rushes into the room* WHO DARED TO SNEAK INTO ERIK'S…wait…it's just RAOUL.
Raoul- *Still hanging from the Punjab lasso, with his feet just barely touching the floor talking to the PersianBuddy2000™* hmmm… Z?
PersianBuddy™- No. you lose.
Erik- Monsieur… may I ask what you are doing…
Raoul- *Still looking at the screen, and not paying attention* DARNIT!!! I can never win at this!!!
Erik- *grits teeth* monsieur RAOUL!!
Raoul- *looks at Erik* ohh? Good morning^_^ I was just playing a friendly game of hangman with me PersianBuddy2000™ BUTILOSTAGAINIT'STHESIXTYITHTIMEILOST_ NOOOOOOOO
Erik-… How ironic. I'm not going to even ask you what the answer was.
Raoul- oh you don't have to ask the answer was-
Erik- Ah enough of this random nonsense! Time to continue helping my poor forlorn lovers get the loves of their lives^_^
Raoul- One question.
Erik- No.
Raoul- why are you helping people find love when you never even got-
Erik- …
*Screen blacks out. 10 minutes later we find a royally pissed Erik and a severely beaten RAOUL who looks as tho he's hanging on to life by a thread. Well, a Punjab lasso I guess.^_^*
Erik- * Looking quite like the Insane madman, he's foaming at the mouth making insane threats at RAOUL* WHATDIDITELLYOUYOUIDIOTICFOPYOUARETHISCLOSETOTASTINGDEATHISWEARYOUHAVETOBETHESTUPIDESTLITTLE- * realizes that the audience is watching and hurriedly regains his composture* Hello! *flashes a ERIKbrand™ smile, all the phans promptly swoon* I was just telling monsieur RAOUL that he needs to watch his words when such a large audience is watching ^_^
Raoul- *nearly dead and hanging from the Punjab lasso, there's hints Erik used him as a punching bag (hehehe…)* you..lie…_ *hack up blood*
Erik- you speak like a fool. And now! Erik shows you the next step to:
Erik's Handy Guide To Getting The Lady Of Your Dreams!!! ™
Raoul- ….can I have some painkillers? This is the worst pain I've ever experienced ;_; Ever.
Erik- you could always do everyone a favor and just lift your feet a little so you can just hang yourself. Death's the best painkiller.
Raoul- Oh poo. I was supposed to be home a while ago and if I die I can't do that.
Erik- *dripping with sarcasm* now how did you come with THAT conclusion, monsieur?
Raoul- well, if you die you really can't go-
Erik- Anyway now! It seems we get off the subject so much that it isn't even amusing anymore!
Step 2!!!!!!!
Erik- after you have found this person, you will probably develop an unhealthy obsession with this person. This is a result of finding the one for you, and is completely normal. So the next logical step is to introduce yourself into their lives! The best way to do this is to at first blatantly flat out lie to them to make yourself sound more appealing! I mean, for example, would you rather have an ANGEL OF MUSIC, or Erik?
Raoul- Angel! Erik is stinky and likes to try to hang me!
Erik- *growls* I didn't ask your opinion, FOP. After they get to know you, then you can start showing them the real you! BUT, this is a later step! Don't attempt this step too soon or they'll reject you!
Raoul- that's what happened to you right?
Erik- *tries very hard and with much difficulty to keep from exploding with fury* …after all of this is done…one of us is going to die. A very painful, agonizing, horrible death.
Raoul- I hope it isn't me.
Erik- We'll let the PHANS decide, monsieur. …Raoul… even though this won't help you, seeing as you are going to die in the near future, but it would be wise to watch your tongue.
Raoul- You know monsieur phantom, I've been thinking a lot-
Erik- Wow.
Raoul- Yea that's what I thought too! I was all like wow monsieur Raoul, you crazy old dog your actually doing it! You're thinking!
Erik- I'm afraid to ask, but what were you thinking?
Raoul- what?
Erik- you said you were thinking a lot!
Raoul- ooooooh yea! …I forgot.
Erik- …*faces audience* I'm sorry but we need to cut to a commercial *smile* please stay tuned!
Intermission #1!!! Commercial!!!!!
*Kippo-girl and Stan* walk in front of the screen* Kippo-girl- Hey Stan, have you always wanted your very own Persian, but didn't know where to look?
Stan- Not really.
Kippo-girl- …Well I always have!
Stan- Slave? Why in the world would you want your own Persian?
Kippo-girl- Well Stan, It isn't just ANY Persian! It's THE Persian! And now you can have your very own Persian! Behold the glory that is the PersianBuddy2000™!! It's like having your very own Persian, but travel size and you don't have to smell him!!
Stan- Hot diggity damn!
Kippo-girl- That's right Stan! But don't cuss again or we'll be taken off for inappropriate language! *Flashes a sparkly smile* It has lotsa features too, including speech capabilities and an LCD screen so you can see your Persian! How cute is that?
Stan- What he good for?
Kippo-girl- I was hoping you'd ask!! He's just like having the actual Persian with you! It's that cool! It also comes with one game^_^ hangman!
Stan- haahaa how ironic.
Kippo-girl- Yeah^_^ So get one today! All for the low low price of-
Erik- And we're back!
Raoul- I'm hungry. Can I have food? Or can you maybe let me loose? Please *puppy dog eyes*
Erik- hmmmmm * looks as he's really contemplating on whether to actually let Raoul loose, then laughs maniacally* hahahahahhahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahaaaaa^_^ No. When I let you go again is when Christine comes back to me.
Raoul- but Christine would nev- *thinks* oooooohhhhhh…..well poo.
Erik- *Starts to get lost in his own thoughts* ooh…Christine….why…*snaps out of it* T____T Ooooh Raoul you are going to be a dead man!
Raoul- ;_; I really don't know what I did to you! What did I do to deserve this?? *sniffle*
Erik- * Feels his anger rising again, and to divert his attention to something else he addresses the audience* WELL! That's all the time we have for today! I need to go relax before I die from prolonged exposure to the fop and I'm sure all my Phans wouldn't want that! So until next time^_^
Raoul- No one loves me ;_;
Erik- At least you're not telling yourself lies.
______________________________________________________________________
Chapter 2 end!!!!
Yay^_^ Sorry if this one wasn't as funny I was a little uninspired ;_; I'm more of an artist than a writer…but I really like writing^_^ Hopefully it's good enough! The only way I'll know is if you review! So please review ;_; I'd like to thank everyone that's reviewed so far you really made my day^__^ I love reviews more than anything! I'm sorry for all the Raoul bashing in this also, I tried not to but I couldn't resist ^_^; I'm actually sort of liking him lately. I never hated Raoul cause he got Christine in the end, but because he was just so stupid to me! He just seemed to fall in love so fast…_ like "oooh it's Christine my childhood friend and she's singing I think I'm in love with her!!" T____T to tell you the truth, before I saw Phantom of the opera on broadway (oooh I was so lucky! I thank my aunt)I had heard a little about it and I thought the phantom ended up with the girl. Haa… you know…I don't like Christine. That's who I don't like. She led two men on and chose the handsome one. Yea. Kay I'm done ranting now^__^ just had to get that out!
* Stan's my partner in crime (see me profile) and he's from the game Okage: shadow king. If you have a play station 2 and like rpgs I VERY MUCH recommend this game! Go play it^__^