May 21, after the last entry
Found pretty rock. Decided to keep and name it Phillip. Rest of fellowship think Phillip is very wrong name, as rock is a girl. They just don't understand. Stupid fellowship. I'm an elf damnit. I'm super smart, super pretty, and I super fucking KNOW what I'm doing.
June 23, after last entry
It seems to be that we're going to be passing through the Mines of Moria. It was Frodo's decision. Damn Gandalf. He lets that hobbit walk all over him. Making decisions the wiser fellowship members should be making. Like the Elves. Oh! What do ya know... I, Legolas, am the only Elf in this company. Guess that would make *me* in charge. Being an Elf has such great perks, even if they only exist to the more intelligent beings. In this case, because all the members in THIS fellowship are stupid idiots, the only perks I get are showing off my superiorities to everyone and making them feel stupid and stuff. NOT so bad. I mean, on top of that... I'm STILL the prettiest.
June 30, after last entry
Well, we've arrived in the forrest of Moria, and we're pretty deep in the woods. Sam keeps talking to the pony. Has given him a name and everything. He's been having long one sided conversations with "Bill". Almost feel sorry for the poor hobbit. Once we get to the entrance of the mines Bill's gotta go. Got a glimpse of my reflection in a small steam. Realised there was a slight tangle in my hair. Damn the outdoors! Can't we stop and have a propper bath?!Bloody hell I hate this "nature" thing!
July 1, after last entry
I HATE YOU FRODO... I HATE YOU MERRY... I HATE YOU!!!!
***And this is where the work of a guest writer shall be inserted*** ***Sahra...you may proceed***
grrrr....that was my EVIL ELF GROWL (trademark 543 second age, Legolas Greenleaf). I truly, utterly, COMPLETELY DESPISE, LOATHE, AND WISH DEATH UPON ALL HOBBITS!!!!!! Well....maybe not Sam...he's kind of sexy in a way...NO! must..not....think...ARRRGH!!!! It's becoming obvious that I've had too much time AWAY from sex, women, etc, and also too much time this close to males just as horny as I am. I could have sworn I heard Boromir and Gandalf at it last night....old people sex. Ugh. Just ugh. I mean, if you're gonna be 2931 years old, you might as well look 25. Like...me, for example. Ahem. I definatly am gorgeous. I want to rape myself. And the girl following me. well..stalking me is more like it...but thats okay because i feel an unexplainable (i have reached my big word quote for today) desire to preform sexual intercourse with her. Her name is Sahra. WOOHOO!! ahem. Must keep a mysterious aura about me, or they'll all think I'm shagging Gimli.
July 3, after last entry Alright, so we're in the mines. Big, dark, scary m.AHHH!!! Oh, it was just Boromir and Pippin at it again. I swear, that man has gotten more sex on this journey than I have in my whole long lived elf life. And, considering I'm one sexy mamma, that's a lot of sex to beat. A strange thing has happened. This girl. The one who's stalking me, Sahra, she's told me a new word. In my sleep probably. ENJOLRAS! I can't really pronounce it. But really. come on. ENJOLRAS! It's just a WORD, and such a pretty word. ENJOLRAS! ENJOLRAS! ENJOLRAS! Er. no, I'm not obsessed. I don't even know the MEANING of the word obsessed. What's it mean? ooooooh.. Shinnnnyyy..
July 4, after last entry I miss my pretty face!! It's been a full week since I last saw my reflection. Damnit, I KNOW I'm the prettiest. But, geez, an elf can get insecure when in a dark scary mine, without any means of checking one's self out. Actually, possessing the beauty I possess, I don't need a reflection to know how pretty I am.I just miss the pretty face in the mirror. If only I could see you once again my love! . Oh my GOD!!!!!!! That stupid little THING!! YES!!! I AM referring to that Pippin creature! UGH! I, Legolas, prettiest being in all of Middle Earth, along with the OTHER less important fellowship members, have to fight this stupid large group thing of Goblins! UGH! I understand a nice little slaughtering of those THINGS, but HEY, I like to work up a little sweat before fighting the worthless beings of our world. And, there's just no time to achieve my rugged elfly look. So now, all cuz of Pippin, I must fight in pretty mode. . Ok, I've killed the god damned Goblins. . HOLY SHIT!! THEY HAVE A CAVE TROLL!! Oh well, I can take him!! I'm an Elf! ENJOLRAS!!!! . Shot arrow up nose. Hee hee hee. Killed Troll. Hee hee. I'm so pretty
July 5, after last entry K, that old guy's fallen into.uh.what's the word? Flowers? Yes that sounds right. Flowers.No? Maybe it's darkness then. But, it just sounds so. dark. Flowers are a lot more happy. K, so I'm just going to substitute flowers for darkness. It sounds so much better though. Dontchya think? No? Well, who cares what you think?! You're just a piece of paper in this stupid book full of more paper! UGH! You know what? I'm just SO not in the mood for your stupid. JOURNALNESS. Geez, get a life. I'm going to go do my happy-lets-get-naked-dance.
July 6, after last entry OH MY GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE!! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!!!!
Found pretty rock. Decided to keep and name it Phillip. Rest of fellowship think Phillip is very wrong name, as rock is a girl. They just don't understand. Stupid fellowship. I'm an elf damnit. I'm super smart, super pretty, and I super fucking KNOW what I'm doing.
June 23, after last entry
It seems to be that we're going to be passing through the Mines of Moria. It was Frodo's decision. Damn Gandalf. He lets that hobbit walk all over him. Making decisions the wiser fellowship members should be making. Like the Elves. Oh! What do ya know... I, Legolas, am the only Elf in this company. Guess that would make *me* in charge. Being an Elf has such great perks, even if they only exist to the more intelligent beings. In this case, because all the members in THIS fellowship are stupid idiots, the only perks I get are showing off my superiorities to everyone and making them feel stupid and stuff. NOT so bad. I mean, on top of that... I'm STILL the prettiest.
June 30, after last entry
Well, we've arrived in the forrest of Moria, and we're pretty deep in the woods. Sam keeps talking to the pony. Has given him a name and everything. He's been having long one sided conversations with "Bill". Almost feel sorry for the poor hobbit. Once we get to the entrance of the mines Bill's gotta go. Got a glimpse of my reflection in a small steam. Realised there was a slight tangle in my hair. Damn the outdoors! Can't we stop and have a propper bath?!Bloody hell I hate this "nature" thing!
July 1, after last entry
I HATE YOU FRODO... I HATE YOU MERRY... I HATE YOU!!!!
***And this is where the work of a guest writer shall be inserted*** ***Sahra...you may proceed***
grrrr....that was my EVIL ELF GROWL (trademark 543 second age, Legolas Greenleaf). I truly, utterly, COMPLETELY DESPISE, LOATHE, AND WISH DEATH UPON ALL HOBBITS!!!!!! Well....maybe not Sam...he's kind of sexy in a way...NO! must..not....think...ARRRGH!!!! It's becoming obvious that I've had too much time AWAY from sex, women, etc, and also too much time this close to males just as horny as I am. I could have sworn I heard Boromir and Gandalf at it last night....old people sex. Ugh. Just ugh. I mean, if you're gonna be 2931 years old, you might as well look 25. Like...me, for example. Ahem. I definatly am gorgeous. I want to rape myself. And the girl following me. well..stalking me is more like it...but thats okay because i feel an unexplainable (i have reached my big word quote for today) desire to preform sexual intercourse with her. Her name is Sahra. WOOHOO!! ahem. Must keep a mysterious aura about me, or they'll all think I'm shagging Gimli.
July 3, after last entry Alright, so we're in the mines. Big, dark, scary m.AHHH!!! Oh, it was just Boromir and Pippin at it again. I swear, that man has gotten more sex on this journey than I have in my whole long lived elf life. And, considering I'm one sexy mamma, that's a lot of sex to beat. A strange thing has happened. This girl. The one who's stalking me, Sahra, she's told me a new word. In my sleep probably. ENJOLRAS! I can't really pronounce it. But really. come on. ENJOLRAS! It's just a WORD, and such a pretty word. ENJOLRAS! ENJOLRAS! ENJOLRAS! Er. no, I'm not obsessed. I don't even know the MEANING of the word obsessed. What's it mean? ooooooh.. Shinnnnyyy..
July 4, after last entry I miss my pretty face!! It's been a full week since I last saw my reflection. Damnit, I KNOW I'm the prettiest. But, geez, an elf can get insecure when in a dark scary mine, without any means of checking one's self out. Actually, possessing the beauty I possess, I don't need a reflection to know how pretty I am.I just miss the pretty face in the mirror. If only I could see you once again my love! . Oh my GOD!!!!!!! That stupid little THING!! YES!!! I AM referring to that Pippin creature! UGH! I, Legolas, prettiest being in all of Middle Earth, along with the OTHER less important fellowship members, have to fight this stupid large group thing of Goblins! UGH! I understand a nice little slaughtering of those THINGS, but HEY, I like to work up a little sweat before fighting the worthless beings of our world. And, there's just no time to achieve my rugged elfly look. So now, all cuz of Pippin, I must fight in pretty mode. . Ok, I've killed the god damned Goblins. . HOLY SHIT!! THEY HAVE A CAVE TROLL!! Oh well, I can take him!! I'm an Elf! ENJOLRAS!!!! . Shot arrow up nose. Hee hee hee. Killed Troll. Hee hee. I'm so pretty
July 5, after last entry K, that old guy's fallen into.uh.what's the word? Flowers? Yes that sounds right. Flowers.No? Maybe it's darkness then. But, it just sounds so. dark. Flowers are a lot more happy. K, so I'm just going to substitute flowers for darkness. It sounds so much better though. Dontchya think? No? Well, who cares what you think?! You're just a piece of paper in this stupid book full of more paper! UGH! You know what? I'm just SO not in the mood for your stupid. JOURNALNESS. Geez, get a life. I'm going to go do my happy-lets-get-naked-dance.
July 6, after last entry OH MY GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE!! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!!!!