-Chapter 2-
"Just what the hell was that, Asuka?!"
Around us was the soft glow of a dozen computer screens. The control room was, at the moment, empty of NERV personnel having been dismissed by Misato so she could debrief us. For the first time since I have met her, Asuka seemed to have no reply but to simply lower her head and look away, trying hard to avoid Misato piercing stare. I glanced briefly with my eyes at Ikari-kun and found that he did the same as Asuka with the exception of closing his eyes. Tightly. I looked straight ahead. Misato stood over all of us, but at the moment was only concerning herself with Asuka.
"I am in charge of the Evas during battle," Misato said when no reply was made. "You follow my orders. If I tell you to retreat, you retreat. I don't ever want to see that kind of insubordination again. We have enough problems fighting Angels. The last thing we need are careless pilots."
Asuka's fury flared up at that remark.
"You want me to be like Wondergirl? Is that it?! What did she do besides stand on the sidelines not doing squat!"
"She was following my orders!"
"Just like the little doll she is!!"
"Dammit, Asuka! You are way out of order-"
"To Hell with your order! You don't even know what it is to pilot. What it really takes-"
"I don't think you do either," came the reply.
Asuka said nothing, but met Misato's stare with one as equally distant and icy. The oppressive silence hung heavy in the air, pausing to watch the outcome of this bizarre and uncertain contest. Misato won when Asuka suddenly blinked her eyes and turned her head away. Misato's voice cut through what was left of the silence that had hung around our heads while she had stared down Asuka. Her voice was low.
"When you step into Eva, you are doing more than strapping on a hunk of metal and electrical circuits onto your back. You are shouldering the burden of humanity; the weight of the world rests upon you. It is my duty to ensure that you succeed in destroying Angels and come back safely. Your duty is to follow my orders and get the job done. If you can't handle that responsibility then you have no right to be in Eva. I don't want to see any more reckless behavior in the field. Is that clear?"
Asuka said nothing, but lowered her head.
"Is that clear? Look at me when I'm talking to you."
Misato reached out her hand and lifted up Asuka's chin so that they were face to face. Asuka almost immediately swatted away Misato's hand. The Major let out a sound of surprise.
"I will do what needs to be done," Asuka said furiously. "I am a pilot, and neither you nor anybody else will ever take that away from me."
"We'll see about that," Misato growled, recovered from the initial shock of Asuka batting her hand. "If I ever see anything like what happened in simulation again, there will be nothing to stop me from personally suspending you from all NERV activity and relieving you of your piloting duties until further notice. You think about that the next time you step into Eva. You think about it."
I saw Asuka's jaw tense up, tightening her full lips firmly against her teeth. The knuckles of her fists turned white as she clenched them. I saw dark clouds pass on the surface of her eyes. She blinked her eyes and lightning raged deep within the crystal blue orbs. She spoke no words, simply turned quickly on her heels and swept past Misato, carefully hitting the side of my arm hard with her shoulder as she pushed past me.
"Asuka!" Misato snapped. "Asuka!"
But she was gone now, storming from the room to the lockers where a series of loud metallic bangs were heard. I saw Misato slowly close her eyes as she lowered her head. She shook it absently for a few moments before falling back into a cushioned seat, rubbing the bridge of her nose wearily, seemingly totally unaware of our presence. Ikari-kun stepped forward.
"Mi-Misato?" he asked quietly.
"Don't," she said. "Just don't. I need to think. I have a lot of work to do. Probably won't be back home until late so just order something for dinner, all right? Don't wait up."
"Sure," he whispered.
"You are dismissed."
Ikari-kun silently turned around and began to slowly shuffle towards the door. I was about to follow him when Misato's voice called out to me.
"Rei?"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Come here, please."
I quietly approached her, standing very still as she began to speak.
"My orders," she started. "The ones I gave you.do you.did." she stopped abruptly as though she couldn't find a satisfactory method of posing the question. I knew what she wanted to know and I sought a way to tell her that I trusted her judgement and was willing to face any consequence that arose from that decision.
"I followed them," was all I could think to say.
She nodded then, straightened up in her chair as though some weight was lifted from her shoulders, but said nothing more.
I did not look at Misato again as I turned to leave the room, leaving her to sit alone in a dark room, lit only by the lights of indifferent computers.
Asuka was waiting for me back at the locker room, her schoolbag hanging loosely from one hand.
"So," she said. "Did you get a cookie for being such a good girl? Oh wait, I remember, you 'dislike' those too, huh?"
I made no reply as I stepped over to my locker and began to enter my combination. I had just opened it when Asuka uncrossed her arms, strolled angrily over to me, and slammed the locker shut again. She placed her hand on its door and leaned strongly against it with her weight.
"What is up with you and your superior attitude, huh?! Well!! Answer me! You think you're better than us because you're Misato and Commander's favorite?"
I turned to her.
"I am no one's favorite. I know that well."
Asuka glared at me fiercely but said nothing more. We stared at each other as an awkward silence filled the room. Asuka's hand slid away from my locker and she walked away, angrily punching the button to open the door to leave. When the door had closed behind her, I released the pressure from my plug suit and sank down to the cold bench next to my locker, letting out a breath of relief. I did not move for a long while.
"Just what the hell was that, Asuka?!"
Around us was the soft glow of a dozen computer screens. The control room was, at the moment, empty of NERV personnel having been dismissed by Misato so she could debrief us. For the first time since I have met her, Asuka seemed to have no reply but to simply lower her head and look away, trying hard to avoid Misato piercing stare. I glanced briefly with my eyes at Ikari-kun and found that he did the same as Asuka with the exception of closing his eyes. Tightly. I looked straight ahead. Misato stood over all of us, but at the moment was only concerning herself with Asuka.
"I am in charge of the Evas during battle," Misato said when no reply was made. "You follow my orders. If I tell you to retreat, you retreat. I don't ever want to see that kind of insubordination again. We have enough problems fighting Angels. The last thing we need are careless pilots."
Asuka's fury flared up at that remark.
"You want me to be like Wondergirl? Is that it?! What did she do besides stand on the sidelines not doing squat!"
"She was following my orders!"
"Just like the little doll she is!!"
"Dammit, Asuka! You are way out of order-"
"To Hell with your order! You don't even know what it is to pilot. What it really takes-"
"I don't think you do either," came the reply.
Asuka said nothing, but met Misato's stare with one as equally distant and icy. The oppressive silence hung heavy in the air, pausing to watch the outcome of this bizarre and uncertain contest. Misato won when Asuka suddenly blinked her eyes and turned her head away. Misato's voice cut through what was left of the silence that had hung around our heads while she had stared down Asuka. Her voice was low.
"When you step into Eva, you are doing more than strapping on a hunk of metal and electrical circuits onto your back. You are shouldering the burden of humanity; the weight of the world rests upon you. It is my duty to ensure that you succeed in destroying Angels and come back safely. Your duty is to follow my orders and get the job done. If you can't handle that responsibility then you have no right to be in Eva. I don't want to see any more reckless behavior in the field. Is that clear?"
Asuka said nothing, but lowered her head.
"Is that clear? Look at me when I'm talking to you."
Misato reached out her hand and lifted up Asuka's chin so that they were face to face. Asuka almost immediately swatted away Misato's hand. The Major let out a sound of surprise.
"I will do what needs to be done," Asuka said furiously. "I am a pilot, and neither you nor anybody else will ever take that away from me."
"We'll see about that," Misato growled, recovered from the initial shock of Asuka batting her hand. "If I ever see anything like what happened in simulation again, there will be nothing to stop me from personally suspending you from all NERV activity and relieving you of your piloting duties until further notice. You think about that the next time you step into Eva. You think about it."
I saw Asuka's jaw tense up, tightening her full lips firmly against her teeth. The knuckles of her fists turned white as she clenched them. I saw dark clouds pass on the surface of her eyes. She blinked her eyes and lightning raged deep within the crystal blue orbs. She spoke no words, simply turned quickly on her heels and swept past Misato, carefully hitting the side of my arm hard with her shoulder as she pushed past me.
"Asuka!" Misato snapped. "Asuka!"
But she was gone now, storming from the room to the lockers where a series of loud metallic bangs were heard. I saw Misato slowly close her eyes as she lowered her head. She shook it absently for a few moments before falling back into a cushioned seat, rubbing the bridge of her nose wearily, seemingly totally unaware of our presence. Ikari-kun stepped forward.
"Mi-Misato?" he asked quietly.
"Don't," she said. "Just don't. I need to think. I have a lot of work to do. Probably won't be back home until late so just order something for dinner, all right? Don't wait up."
"Sure," he whispered.
"You are dismissed."
Ikari-kun silently turned around and began to slowly shuffle towards the door. I was about to follow him when Misato's voice called out to me.
"Rei?"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Come here, please."
I quietly approached her, standing very still as she began to speak.
"My orders," she started. "The ones I gave you.do you.did." she stopped abruptly as though she couldn't find a satisfactory method of posing the question. I knew what she wanted to know and I sought a way to tell her that I trusted her judgement and was willing to face any consequence that arose from that decision.
"I followed them," was all I could think to say.
She nodded then, straightened up in her chair as though some weight was lifted from her shoulders, but said nothing more.
I did not look at Misato again as I turned to leave the room, leaving her to sit alone in a dark room, lit only by the lights of indifferent computers.
Asuka was waiting for me back at the locker room, her schoolbag hanging loosely from one hand.
"So," she said. "Did you get a cookie for being such a good girl? Oh wait, I remember, you 'dislike' those too, huh?"
I made no reply as I stepped over to my locker and began to enter my combination. I had just opened it when Asuka uncrossed her arms, strolled angrily over to me, and slammed the locker shut again. She placed her hand on its door and leaned strongly against it with her weight.
"What is up with you and your superior attitude, huh?! Well!! Answer me! You think you're better than us because you're Misato and Commander's favorite?"
I turned to her.
"I am no one's favorite. I know that well."
Asuka glared at me fiercely but said nothing more. We stared at each other as an awkward silence filled the room. Asuka's hand slid away from my locker and she walked away, angrily punching the button to open the door to leave. When the door had closed behind her, I released the pressure from my plug suit and sank down to the cold bench next to my locker, letting out a breath of relief. I did not move for a long while.