Metal Gear Solid Movie Trailer
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Voiceover: In the year of...oh, let's say 1997, a man by the name of Hideo Kojima decided to return to a classic franchise after a series of huge bombs. I mean really, all of his other games suck. So, Metal Gear Solid was born, and now comes the motion picture you've been waiting for...Metal Gear Solid: Operation Killocide.
*SNAKE WALKS PAST THE CAMERA, HOLDING A FLAMING BAZOOKA*
Voiceover: If you thought the game was intense, then get ready to be intensified even more...to the max! This movie's got violence, blood, action, bloody action, and of course, killocide!
*WE SEE SNAKE RIDING A MISSLE INTO A HELICOPTER AND FIRING A MACHINE GUN AT A GIANT ROBOT ANT*
Voiceover: Remember the complex storyline of the game that had you guessing until the very end!? Well it's gone, replaced with even more action! All the boring stuff is gone, replaced with death, death, death!
*OTACON KICKS DOWN A DOOR AND STARTS SHOOTING A FLAMETHROWER AT A GROUP OF NINJAS*
Otacon: Heh. Looks like you guys got to cool down a little.
Voicover: If you think you know Snake, then think again, because he's even more violent and even more killinger than before!
*WE SEE SNAKE FIRING A NUCLEAR MISSLE AT RUSSIA WHILE DECAPITATING A SOLDIER*
Voiceover: Who did we get to play Snake you ask with a bizarre sigh? Don't worry, we got the most violent guy in the world to play him: Meatloaf!
*SNAKE BEGINS TO SING 'I'D DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE' TO SNIPER WOLF WHILE RIDING A MOTORCYCLE OUT OF HELL*
Voiceover: It's 200 minutes of bone-crunching, blood punching, crotch kicking violence that would cause your Grandma's head to explode in disgust! This movie's sooooo violent, it's rated PG-13...to the max!
*WE SEE NINJA CUT OFF OCELOT'S HAND, WHICH CAUSES HIS ENTIRE BODY TO EXPLODE*
Voiceover: The rest of the cast is just as famous as Meatloaf. Otacon is played by Sir Emilio Estevez. Ocelot is played by Henry Winkler, and Joe Pesci plays Liquid Snake.
*WE SEE LIQUID SNAKE STABBING A GUY IN THE TRUNK OF A CAR*
Voiceover: How did we get such a famous cast together? Let's just say with loads of money and a very sharp stick. Don't worry, it was legal...kind of.
*MERYL KARATE CHOPS A GUY IN THE HEAD, CAUSING HIM TO FLY BACK INTO A GIANT BOMB AND BLOW UP*
Voiceover: Directed by Uwe Boll, director of the fantastic House of the Dead! Remember House of the Dead? Of course you do, it was great.
*SNAKE HEARS A KNOCKING AT A DOOR. HE OPENS IT TO FIND A HELICOPTER WAITING ON THE OTHER SIDE, SHOOTING ROCKETS AT HIM*
Voiceover: I know what you're thinking. "Operation Killocide? Why is it called that?" Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know. I'm guess because there's lots of killing in this operation, maybe I'm wrong. What I do now, is that this movie rocks...to the max! Maybe they should've called it Operation Rockicide!
*SNAKE IMPALES A GUY WITH AN AMERICAN FLAG*
Snake: Looks like you've addressed the flag.
Voiceover: Roger Ebert calls the movie 'Sickengly violent, and so obscene that no one could watch it without vomiting and dying.' The New York Times says it's 'Meh.' And National Horserider's Monthly calls it 'Powerful and uplifting."
*OTACON PUNCHES A SOLDIER THROUGH A WINDOW, AND HE FALLS INTO A PIT OF ACID UNDERNEATH THE WINDOW*
Voiceover: So buy your tickets now, sell your house if you have to, it's that extreme. Metal Gear Solid: Operation Killocide will rock your world...to the max!
*SNAKE FIRES A ROCKET INTO THE WHITE HOUSE*
Snake: Happy Deathday, Mr. President.
--------------
Voiceover: In the year of...oh, let's say 1997, a man by the name of Hideo Kojima decided to return to a classic franchise after a series of huge bombs. I mean really, all of his other games suck. So, Metal Gear Solid was born, and now comes the motion picture you've been waiting for...Metal Gear Solid: Operation Killocide.
*SNAKE WALKS PAST THE CAMERA, HOLDING A FLAMING BAZOOKA*
Voiceover: If you thought the game was intense, then get ready to be intensified even more...to the max! This movie's got violence, blood, action, bloody action, and of course, killocide!
*WE SEE SNAKE RIDING A MISSLE INTO A HELICOPTER AND FIRING A MACHINE GUN AT A GIANT ROBOT ANT*
Voiceover: Remember the complex storyline of the game that had you guessing until the very end!? Well it's gone, replaced with even more action! All the boring stuff is gone, replaced with death, death, death!
*OTACON KICKS DOWN A DOOR AND STARTS SHOOTING A FLAMETHROWER AT A GROUP OF NINJAS*
Otacon: Heh. Looks like you guys got to cool down a little.
Voicover: If you think you know Snake, then think again, because he's even more violent and even more killinger than before!
*WE SEE SNAKE FIRING A NUCLEAR MISSLE AT RUSSIA WHILE DECAPITATING A SOLDIER*
Voiceover: Who did we get to play Snake you ask with a bizarre sigh? Don't worry, we got the most violent guy in the world to play him: Meatloaf!
*SNAKE BEGINS TO SING 'I'D DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE' TO SNIPER WOLF WHILE RIDING A MOTORCYCLE OUT OF HELL*
Voiceover: It's 200 minutes of bone-crunching, blood punching, crotch kicking violence that would cause your Grandma's head to explode in disgust! This movie's sooooo violent, it's rated PG-13...to the max!
*WE SEE NINJA CUT OFF OCELOT'S HAND, WHICH CAUSES HIS ENTIRE BODY TO EXPLODE*
Voiceover: The rest of the cast is just as famous as Meatloaf. Otacon is played by Sir Emilio Estevez. Ocelot is played by Henry Winkler, and Joe Pesci plays Liquid Snake.
*WE SEE LIQUID SNAKE STABBING A GUY IN THE TRUNK OF A CAR*
Voiceover: How did we get such a famous cast together? Let's just say with loads of money and a very sharp stick. Don't worry, it was legal...kind of.
*MERYL KARATE CHOPS A GUY IN THE HEAD, CAUSING HIM TO FLY BACK INTO A GIANT BOMB AND BLOW UP*
Voiceover: Directed by Uwe Boll, director of the fantastic House of the Dead! Remember House of the Dead? Of course you do, it was great.
*SNAKE HEARS A KNOCKING AT A DOOR. HE OPENS IT TO FIND A HELICOPTER WAITING ON THE OTHER SIDE, SHOOTING ROCKETS AT HIM*
Voiceover: I know what you're thinking. "Operation Killocide? Why is it called that?" Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know. I'm guess because there's lots of killing in this operation, maybe I'm wrong. What I do now, is that this movie rocks...to the max! Maybe they should've called it Operation Rockicide!
*SNAKE IMPALES A GUY WITH AN AMERICAN FLAG*
Snake: Looks like you've addressed the flag.
Voiceover: Roger Ebert calls the movie 'Sickengly violent, and so obscene that no one could watch it without vomiting and dying.' The New York Times says it's 'Meh.' And National Horserider's Monthly calls it 'Powerful and uplifting."
*OTACON PUNCHES A SOLDIER THROUGH A WINDOW, AND HE FALLS INTO A PIT OF ACID UNDERNEATH THE WINDOW*
Voiceover: So buy your tickets now, sell your house if you have to, it's that extreme. Metal Gear Solid: Operation Killocide will rock your world...to the max!
*SNAKE FIRES A ROCKET INTO THE WHITE HOUSE*
Snake: Happy Deathday, Mr. President.