"Hi, I'm French and angry! Persephone, how could you betray me! What have I done to deserve this insulting traitorous act!?"
Persephone smiled at the Merovingian "How about that matrix sex you just had?"
"Err… I have to get angry now!" retorted the Merovingian
"Fine whatever" replied Persephone "Besides, I'm off, bye"
Persephone walks through a door and away from the action.
"We shall just leave quietly," said Morpheus
"The hell you will!" screamed the Merovingian "goons, kill him!"
"Which one?" asked a goon
The Merovingian sighed. "Twins, get the key making prick, everyone else on the dude with shades!"
"Which dude with shades?" asked a goon
"THE ONE WITHOUT THE MASSIVE GAP BETWEEN HIS TEETH!" screamed the Merovingian
Morpheus snuck off, along with the key making dude and Trinity.
The Merovingian's goons fire a shit load of ammunition at Neo, but he just sticks out his hand and all of the bullets stop and fall to the floor.
"Dam" exclaimed the Merovingian "Looks like its back to close combat, thwack him!"
The goons rush forward, and a fight scene takes place, where Neo stabs, slices, punches, kicks and impales all the goons. After dispatching of all of them, Neo turns his attention to the Merovingian, but is secretly trying to find Persephone to drool over her some more. The Merovingian turns to Neo and starts to speak.
"Being a busy Frenchman, I must go and indulge in some more French wine with my almighty Frenchness, be seeing you!"
The Merovingian leaves, and slams the door in Neo's face.
"Ow. Dick!" complained Neo
NOT SO FAR AWAY
"Hi, I can't make keys if I'm dead. Follow Me," announced the keymaker.
Trinity and Morpheus follow the keymaker dude down a thin corridor (where in the film it is clearly shown that Morpheus acquires a samurai sword, for those of you who say he got it from nowhere. If that's not you the reader I apologise)
They make their way into a parking lot.
"Hi, check my dreadlocks, drop your weapons," said twin one, who had phased in, in front of the escaping party.
"Screw you!" shot back Morpheus who blasted at the twins, then proceeded to slash at them with his conveniently located samurai sword. Trinity and the key-making dude commandeered a car.
"Morpheus, get your teeth gap in here!" screamed Trinity
"Oh god, don't let the teeth gap thing become a new insult, or I shall mock you in ways you cant possibly imagine!" shot back Morpheus, hiding his teeth the whole time.
"Bugger, they're getting away. C'mon, lets nick a massive truck thing and go breaking cars on the highway" said twin one to twin two.
ABOUT 20 FEET BEHIND
"Must make it to car park" said Neo to himself as he ran towards the twins. Twin two smiled and slammed the door in his face.
"Hah! You think a door can stop the almighty Neo? Fool!" mocked Neo
He smashed open the door, and found that instead of their being a car park, he was now up in the mountains
"What the fuck?" Neo said, looking extraordinarily vacant.
Neo takes out his phone, and phones up link
"Hey, what the hell?" he questioned
"Err… for some reason your up in the mountains," exclaimed link, confused
Neo looked around
"Oh, that explains those massive hills," commented Neo
"Mountains" link corrected
"Massive hills!" insisted Neo
"They are called mountains, I'm an operator I think I know what they're called!"
"Who's name appears first in the ending credits!?" continued Neo
"Actually its one of the extras, because its in alphabetical order" replied link coolly
"What! Dam, I can't use that excuse anymore, ok fine, whose name appeared first in the credits of the original film "The Matrix?" asked Neo, trying to win the argument
"Look, can we please discus this later. Now Morphy Trin and keymaker dude are in the city, 500 miles due south."
"Hey! Only I may call them by their slang names!" shouted an enraged Neo
Link whined and hung up. Neo took another mouthful of super beans and ascended into the heavens.
BACK TO THE OTHERS
The silver car races out of the garage, much to the anger of an old woman who was walking by, being driven by Trinity.
"Faster Trinity" began Morpheus "Them dudes with the dreadlocks are behind us"
"You'd better call link for a way outta here," exclaimed Trinity
"Glad to see someone else read the script… err… I mean good idea," said Morpheus
Morpheus pressed the one button required to get through to link
"Hello, mother! What are you doing on the line, have you been looking for those pills again!? For god sake woman cant you just leave them alone. What, no of course you can't hear screeching tires! Look, I have to go, something important has come up, bye."
Morpheus turned round and glared at Trinity
"If you laugh…."
Trinity laughed and Morpheus just glared.
Morpheus once again tried to contact link
"Operator"
"Link, block my mothers number, she's really pissing me off, oh and were really screwed at the moment so could you please get us the hell outta here!"
"Ok now go to the 101 and then BLAH BLAH BLAH…."
"Ok, well be ready for you"
Morpheus hangs up the phone.
The twins arrive behind the fleeing party and start shooting them up good with a machine gun.
"Ahh, I have a phobia of bullets," whined the keymaker dude
"Silence you, you'd better prove useful!" complained Trinity
The keymaker dude silences, and the twins continue to shoot. Trinity drives off onto the freeway
"Trinity what the hell are you doing?" demanded Morpheus
"I'm going on the freeway so we can have an impressive chase scene"
"Oh well as long as it's entertaining"
"Oh it will be, it will be!"
Trinity slammed her foot down on the pedals and roared away down the freeway with the twins in hot pursuit.
SOMEWHERE IN A CITY NEAR WHERE THE CAR CHASE IS HAPPENING
"Yes, id like a double cheeseburger, super size fries and a large diet coke please," said Neo, who had stopped of at burger king on his flight to rescue everyone else who stars in the film.
"Are you eating in sir?" asked the burger king assistant
"Nope, I have to fly off soon"
"Oh ok, that will be $10.95 enjoy your meal sir"
Neo took his food and left to continue his flight to that city place whatever its called.
BACK TO THE CHASE
Trinity had made her way to the highway, the twins still emptying bullets into the back of the car, but now 8 cop cruisers had also joined the pursuit.
"Cant we ever go somewhere without pissing people off?" questioned Morpheus
"What kind of film would that make?" asked Trinity.
Sudden silence, Trinity focused on driving, whilst Morpheus fired Uzi bullets at the twins who phased to dodge them, but at least it slowed them down a bit.
"Oh shit" said Morpheus
"What now?" asked Trinity?
"Agents, coming up fast!"
The keymaker dude tried to cuddle up with Trinity in fear, but she slapped him.
"Get a grip you stupid program and focus, hell is riding in" she said
"Don't you mean driving in Trinity?" asked Morpheus
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" protested Trinity
As they argued for a while, the Agent car pulled up beside them and out stepped a rather pissed of looking Agent Jackson.
TO BE CONTIUNED…
Persephone smiled at the Merovingian "How about that matrix sex you just had?"
"Err… I have to get angry now!" retorted the Merovingian
"Fine whatever" replied Persephone "Besides, I'm off, bye"
Persephone walks through a door and away from the action.
"We shall just leave quietly," said Morpheus
"The hell you will!" screamed the Merovingian "goons, kill him!"
"Which one?" asked a goon
The Merovingian sighed. "Twins, get the key making prick, everyone else on the dude with shades!"
"Which dude with shades?" asked a goon
"THE ONE WITHOUT THE MASSIVE GAP BETWEEN HIS TEETH!" screamed the Merovingian
Morpheus snuck off, along with the key making dude and Trinity.
The Merovingian's goons fire a shit load of ammunition at Neo, but he just sticks out his hand and all of the bullets stop and fall to the floor.
"Dam" exclaimed the Merovingian "Looks like its back to close combat, thwack him!"
The goons rush forward, and a fight scene takes place, where Neo stabs, slices, punches, kicks and impales all the goons. After dispatching of all of them, Neo turns his attention to the Merovingian, but is secretly trying to find Persephone to drool over her some more. The Merovingian turns to Neo and starts to speak.
"Being a busy Frenchman, I must go and indulge in some more French wine with my almighty Frenchness, be seeing you!"
The Merovingian leaves, and slams the door in Neo's face.
"Ow. Dick!" complained Neo
NOT SO FAR AWAY
"Hi, I can't make keys if I'm dead. Follow Me," announced the keymaker.
Trinity and Morpheus follow the keymaker dude down a thin corridor (where in the film it is clearly shown that Morpheus acquires a samurai sword, for those of you who say he got it from nowhere. If that's not you the reader I apologise)
They make their way into a parking lot.
"Hi, check my dreadlocks, drop your weapons," said twin one, who had phased in, in front of the escaping party.
"Screw you!" shot back Morpheus who blasted at the twins, then proceeded to slash at them with his conveniently located samurai sword. Trinity and the key-making dude commandeered a car.
"Morpheus, get your teeth gap in here!" screamed Trinity
"Oh god, don't let the teeth gap thing become a new insult, or I shall mock you in ways you cant possibly imagine!" shot back Morpheus, hiding his teeth the whole time.
"Bugger, they're getting away. C'mon, lets nick a massive truck thing and go breaking cars on the highway" said twin one to twin two.
ABOUT 20 FEET BEHIND
"Must make it to car park" said Neo to himself as he ran towards the twins. Twin two smiled and slammed the door in his face.
"Hah! You think a door can stop the almighty Neo? Fool!" mocked Neo
He smashed open the door, and found that instead of their being a car park, he was now up in the mountains
"What the fuck?" Neo said, looking extraordinarily vacant.
Neo takes out his phone, and phones up link
"Hey, what the hell?" he questioned
"Err… for some reason your up in the mountains," exclaimed link, confused
Neo looked around
"Oh, that explains those massive hills," commented Neo
"Mountains" link corrected
"Massive hills!" insisted Neo
"They are called mountains, I'm an operator I think I know what they're called!"
"Who's name appears first in the ending credits!?" continued Neo
"Actually its one of the extras, because its in alphabetical order" replied link coolly
"What! Dam, I can't use that excuse anymore, ok fine, whose name appeared first in the credits of the original film "The Matrix?" asked Neo, trying to win the argument
"Look, can we please discus this later. Now Morphy Trin and keymaker dude are in the city, 500 miles due south."
"Hey! Only I may call them by their slang names!" shouted an enraged Neo
Link whined and hung up. Neo took another mouthful of super beans and ascended into the heavens.
BACK TO THE OTHERS
The silver car races out of the garage, much to the anger of an old woman who was walking by, being driven by Trinity.
"Faster Trinity" began Morpheus "Them dudes with the dreadlocks are behind us"
"You'd better call link for a way outta here," exclaimed Trinity
"Glad to see someone else read the script… err… I mean good idea," said Morpheus
Morpheus pressed the one button required to get through to link
"Hello, mother! What are you doing on the line, have you been looking for those pills again!? For god sake woman cant you just leave them alone. What, no of course you can't hear screeching tires! Look, I have to go, something important has come up, bye."
Morpheus turned round and glared at Trinity
"If you laugh…."
Trinity laughed and Morpheus just glared.
Morpheus once again tried to contact link
"Operator"
"Link, block my mothers number, she's really pissing me off, oh and were really screwed at the moment so could you please get us the hell outta here!"
"Ok now go to the 101 and then BLAH BLAH BLAH…."
"Ok, well be ready for you"
Morpheus hangs up the phone.
The twins arrive behind the fleeing party and start shooting them up good with a machine gun.
"Ahh, I have a phobia of bullets," whined the keymaker dude
"Silence you, you'd better prove useful!" complained Trinity
The keymaker dude silences, and the twins continue to shoot. Trinity drives off onto the freeway
"Trinity what the hell are you doing?" demanded Morpheus
"I'm going on the freeway so we can have an impressive chase scene"
"Oh well as long as it's entertaining"
"Oh it will be, it will be!"
Trinity slammed her foot down on the pedals and roared away down the freeway with the twins in hot pursuit.
SOMEWHERE IN A CITY NEAR WHERE THE CAR CHASE IS HAPPENING
"Yes, id like a double cheeseburger, super size fries and a large diet coke please," said Neo, who had stopped of at burger king on his flight to rescue everyone else who stars in the film.
"Are you eating in sir?" asked the burger king assistant
"Nope, I have to fly off soon"
"Oh ok, that will be $10.95 enjoy your meal sir"
Neo took his food and left to continue his flight to that city place whatever its called.
BACK TO THE CHASE
Trinity had made her way to the highway, the twins still emptying bullets into the back of the car, but now 8 cop cruisers had also joined the pursuit.
"Cant we ever go somewhere without pissing people off?" questioned Morpheus
"What kind of film would that make?" asked Trinity.
Sudden silence, Trinity focused on driving, whilst Morpheus fired Uzi bullets at the twins who phased to dodge them, but at least it slowed them down a bit.
"Oh shit" said Morpheus
"What now?" asked Trinity?
"Agents, coming up fast!"
The keymaker dude tried to cuddle up with Trinity in fear, but she slapped him.
"Get a grip you stupid program and focus, hell is riding in" she said
"Don't you mean driving in Trinity?" asked Morpheus
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" protested Trinity
As they argued for a while, the Agent car pulled up beside them and out stepped a rather pissed of looking Agent Jackson.
TO BE CONTIUNED…