THE ENGAGEMENT
Marik: *Wakes up* Hmm....a new day...and new kill *Smirks and gets outta bed* *looks at feet* That's odd, there is a little glass container at the foot of this random woman's bed. *Looks to see a woman with her heart ripped out laying on the floor beside the bed* She had such a comfy bed ^-^ *Picks of glass container and sniffs it* Hmm....this smells like...vodka. *Drinks it* and it tastes like Vodka. But it can't be vodka, because...oh screw it, it is vodka. *Looks to door* and there is another container...how very odd. *Drinks that container of vodka also* Oh, and here is another one, to the right of me... *Drinks it* *Follows a trail of vodka bottles* These seem to be leading me somewhere...naw, that's stupid, no one does that in real life. *Comes to a giant plate of sugar cookies and pixie sticks* YAY!!! SUGAR!!! *Eats it all, and then sees another vodka trail, and follows that*
Voice in Shadows: Excellent, my pet. Come to me!!!
Marik: *Reaches the end of the vodka trail, sugar high and drunk*
Ishtar-chan(Voice in the Shadows): MARIK!! *Runs out and glomps him*
Marik: Well, hello there little boy!
Ishtar-chan: Little boy?? *Shakes head* Anyways, Marik, will you marry me?
Marik: Marry you? Sure little boy.
Ishtar-chan: YAY!!!!!
THE PLANNING
Marik: *Still drunk* And Yami ish the beast man!
Ishtar-chan: *Blinks* Yami? Why the hell would you want a pussy like that to be your best man?
Marik: Because I love that guy.
Ishtar-chan: O_o I'll pretend I didn't hear that. *Beside best man she writes Bakura*
Marik: *Looks at it* Does that say Yami?
Ishtar-chan: Why, yes, yes it does.
Marik: OK!!! And Yugi, and Weevil and Rex, and Pegasus can be groomsmen! (Do NOT ask me how he knows them -.-; )
Ishtar-chan: Right-o! *Writes down Malik, Ryou, Yami and Jonouchi beside groomsmen*
Marik: For the wedding party, can we play pin the tail on the random stranger, and then brutally kill him?
Ishtar-chan: YES!!! *Beside wedding party she writes pin the tail on the random stranger and then brutally kill him* And hmm...Mai, Isis, and Serenity and erm....Jeshi-chan are the bridesmaids! And Kaira-chan can be the best m-....the Maid of Honour.
Marik: And Anzu is the Priest?
Ishtar-chan: *Nods, not really paying attention*
The Bachelor and Bachelorette party consisted of Ishtar-chan pouring more alcohol down Marik's throat so that his drunkenness didn't wear off, and he wouldn't kill her.
THE WEDDING
Bakura: How come I DO NOT think this will work out?
Yami: Perhaps the fact that Marik is stumbling around out there drunk, and scaring away all the guests by threatening to kill them?
Bakura: Yeah, that's probably it.
So, Bakura and Kaira-chan walk down the isle arm and arm, then Jeshi and Ryou, Serenity and Jonouchi, Mai and Yami and finally Malik and Isis.
Marik: *Looks at his best man, Bakura* That's not Yami!
Ishtar-chan: You never asked for Yami, you asked for Bakura.
Marik: Well, I want Yami now!
Ishtar-chan: Well, I'm sorry, but we're about to get married, Yami can't be your best man now.
Marik: But I love him!!
Everyone: O_O
Bakura: Yami, ruining two weddings in a row! Shame on you.
Yami: I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW!!
Rishid: O_O HOW COULD YOU!!
Malik: RASHID!! Marik loves Yami, not me!
Rishid: OK
Marik: *Suddenly sobering up* Love Yami? Who the hell said anything about loving Yami?
Everyone: -.-;
Anzu: *Ignoring everything, and then suddenly* You may now kiss the bride.
Marik: What? Who's getting married?
Ishtar-chan: *Grabs him by the front of the shirt and passionately kisses him*
Marik: O_O *Manages to get away, and gasps for air* You..I...we?
Ishtar-chan: *Interrupts* Time for the wedding party, and Pin the Tail on the Random Stranger then Brutally Kill Him!
Marik: PtTotRStBKH?? YES!! *Runs off with Ishtar-chan*
Kaira-chan: *Sniff sniff* That is so romantic.
Yami Kaira: What the hell are you talking about? There running off to...kill...random...people... LETS GO!! *Grabs Kaira-chans wrist and runs after them*
Jeshi-chan: FUN!! *Skips after them*
They were married happily for some chapters, but sadly. It could not last...They had an argument over killing Bakura and Malik.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kaira-chan: There's what _I_ think would happen...and you thought you should be afraid of Jeshi-chan's version *Grins*
Jeshi-chan: Hey, you haven't even seen my version, how do you know its not something to fear?
Kaira-chan: -.-; Nothing could be worse then mine....
Jeshi-chan: Here's mine now ^___^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jessica: Jackie!! Guessy what?
Jackie: What, Jessi?
Jessica: Kaira-chan tells me that we both write up purdy extra part of the marrying peoples story for you!! And YOU gets to marry the yami Malik! *My English language around my friends isn't the greatest*
Jackie: Um...yeah.... *is scared to see what Jessica wrote for her*
Jackie: *Walking around looking for Malik. Malik sounds more evil to me, so I use Malik as the yami, and Marik as the hikari...like it and/or love it! There is NO option C...or D...whatever*Maaaaaallllliiiiikkkk!! Where are you? Come out come out wherever you are! I've got a surprise for you! ^.^
Malik: *jumps out of nowhere all ecstatic* what? What is it? I want it! I want to know what it is! Where is it? WHERE!? Gimmie gimmie gimmie!
Jackie: Me, silly! Hee hee! ^.^
Malik: O.o....*is confused*...what?
Jackie: You're going to marry me, you goof!
Malik: O.o....._...I don't think so! Now if you excuse me, I want my surprise right now! I've got important things to do!
Jackie: That WAS the surprise you moron! .
Malik: O.O....Ohhh....Well then. I don't want it. *turns to leave*
Jackie: NO! Malik, you stay! You are GOING to marry me!
Malik: HA! That's a good one. Foolish little girl, go play with your toys, maybe your dollies will marry your stuffed animals!
Jackie: O.O.....MALIK! You stay!
Malik: Good-bye, little girl. *Walking away*
Jackie: O.O....NOOO! Come back here!!!!!!! _ You are NOT going to leave on me! *pulls out gun and shoots Malik with a Rhino tranquilizer*
Malik: OWWW!! F%*&! *turns back to Jackie* What the HELL do you think you're doing?!?
Jackie: !!OoO...Why didn't it work?!??!?
Malik: HA! You foolish girl! It will take more than just a-*THUNK. Falls down in a deep sleep*
Jackie: O.O....^.^ That's better! *Picks up Malik and carries him away*
*Malik wakes up later with handcuffs on in Jackie's basement....and is also on a leash that is chained to the water heater in the corner of the room..err...basement...whatever*
Malik: What the hell?! *Jackie comes walking downstairs*
Jackie: Oooh! Malik's up! ^.^ Silly! My wonderful husband, you've been sleeping for so long!
Malik: Phhht...husband...yeah right....O.O..*has just noticed the ring on his finger*...Wha..?????
Jackie: Well, before you woke up the first time I shot you, I had to go ask the Seto lovers who drugged Jessi in the first chapter to get a drug that did the exact same thing, only for it to make you love me instead of Seto....after I got it, you were just waking up, so I had to force the pills down you quick and pretty much had to stab you with the injection shots...then you fell in love with me! We immediately got married, it was a beautiful wedding...*she's been planning it since the first time she saw Malik!...Actually, I'm not sure, I just took a wild guess and I'm assuming that I'm right. LOL*after the wedding pictures, the drug started to wear off, so I shot you with another Rhino tranquilizer and brought you back here, and you've been sleeping ever since!..For the past 2 days! ^.^
Malik: O.O....NO! I don't love you! Free me now!
Jackie: Oh no, I can't do that, my love! You'll try to run away from me! And you're NOT leaving, because we're married, and are supposed to stay together in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, and until death do us part! _
Malik: OO.....*is scared*...I-I don't see why I'm worrying. I know my hikari will come to save me! Good ol' Marik is always there for me, and he won't let you get away with this!
Jackie: Oh, I've already taken care of him. *evil grins*
*Marik is left tied up and gagged on Jessica's doorstep. Jessica and Kaira open the door*
Jessica: Oooooh....look, Kaira-chan! It's Marik!
Kaira: Hee hee! He's decided to join the slumber party! ^.^
Jessica: Yay! ^.^ He's just in time for dress-up! *This is where all of you feel sorry for poor Marik! He's left all alone with me and Kaira-chan!*
Kaira: I'd rather dress-up Yami...
Jessica: But it's perfect practice, Kaira-chan!
Kaira: O.O! You're right, Jeshi-chan!
Jessica: Now what colours do you think Marik will look good in?
Kaira: Oooooh! Pink lipstick!
Jessica: Please, Kaira-chan, he's got tanned skin!
Kaira: Hmm...you're right..it won't show up...red!!!!
Jessica: Hey, yeah! He'll look soooo purdy! And a nice little purple dress....
Kaira: Oh, yes! Purple is DEFINITELY his colour! It matches his eyes! ^.^...and I can soooo see cute little pink nails!
Jessica: Yeah!!! ^.^ *Both girls giggle uncontrollably*
Marik: O.O!! *Trying to scream*
*Jessica and Kaira drag Marik in kicking...and still trying to scream*
Malik: Heeeelllllpppp!!!!! Somebody help me!!!! Please help me!!!!
Jackie: Malik dear, what are you screaming for?
Malik: You are crazy! I'm gonna...I'm gonna....*realizes that his millennium rod is missing*
Jackie: *Holds up millennium rod* Oh, dear Malik, you don't need this. Now come, we are going for a nice walk. *Unchains the leash from the water heater and drags Malik outside*
Yugi: Hey look! It's Malik!....And Jackie!
*Jackie is pulling Malik down the street on the leash*
Malik: Help me!!!! Please!!!! *All peoples come up to them. (to be specific: Yugi, Yami, Jonouchi, Honda, Duke, Anzu, Bakura, and Mai..okay, so maybe not everyone comes up to them)*
Yugi: Soooo...what are you two up to today?
Jackie: Going for a walk! ^.^
Malik: Help me!!!!!
Jonouchi: Help YOU? What for?
Honda: Yeah, what have you done for us? Nothing! That's what I thought!
Yugi: Actually Malik, I think you're getting what you deserve!
Malik: Oh, come on! What have I ever done to you?
Mai: You tried to kill me.
Jonouchi: And me!!
Yami: You knocked me unconscious with your damn card!
Bakura: You made my body disappear! *Jessica appears*
Jessica: Yeah! You made Bakura's damn sexy body disappear!!
Everyone: (to Jessica) 'O.O'
Jessica: *blushes* Heehee!! ^.^ *leaves*
Duke: That was odd.
Bakura: O.O....*starts looking over himself* Do I really have a nice body? *Everyone sweat droppies*
Jonouchi: *Is jealous of Bakura*
Mai: *Is jealous of Jessica*
Yugi: *Is jealous of Yami*
Yami: *Is jealous of Yugi*
Anzu: *Has always been jealous of Kaira and Yami Kaira*
Honda: *Is jealous of Duke*
Duke: *Is pissed because he has no one to be jealous of*
Kaira: *comes walking by with Marik and Jessica (Heheh...I always come back!)* Ohhhh Yuuuuuugggiiiiii!! Your date is here! *Pushes Marik up ahead of her and Jessica*
Marik: ACCCKKK!! *hair is permed, he is wearing make-up, wearing a purple dress with matching high heels, nails are pink, and smells of a really really pretty flowery perfume*
Everyone: "O.O" *Duke isn't paying attention*
Malik: Marik! What did they do to you?!?!
Marik: I'm...I'm hideous!! And I can't run...can't run...they'll come after me...then they'll HUGGLE me again! *shudders*
Jackie: Kaira!! Jessi!!! I told you two to NOT torture him!!!!
Jessica: We didn't torture him!! We dressed him up for the ball!
Kaira: *All dreamy looking* And now he will dance with the beautiful Prince Yugi-kun! *Jessica and Kaira giggle like school girls*
Duke: *Looks at Marik* Hey, who's the pretty lady? *Anzu beats Duke over the head. Bakura beats Anzu over the head shortly after*
Malik: That's it! I want free now!!!!
Jackie: No no, Malik! You haven't been behaving yourself! ^.^ *Huggles Malik*
Malik: Uggghhh...*sweat droppies*
Bakura: Marik, you look ridiculous! Get the hell out of that dress!
Jessica: *huggles Bakura* Then we'll dress YOU up in a pretty dress, and do up your pretty hair, huh, Bakura??? Wheee heee heeee!! =^.^= *Jonouchi glares at Bakura*
Kaira: *Huggles Yami* And Yami tooooooo!!! Dress up Yami all pretty!! =^.^= *Anzu glares at Kaira*
Yami and Bakura: Uggghhh...*sweat droppies*
Jackie: But NOW! Malik and I must be going! We have much planning to do, and we must be going! *Drags Malik away on the leash* First order of business, Malik. What shall our first child be named? Secondly, would you rather have a boy or a girl? Thirdly-ish, how many children do you want anyway? Fourth-erly, Do we want a big house or a small house? Fifty-ishly, back to children, shall our wonderful children go to college, university, or work in a trade job? ANSWER me, Malik dearest!! *Yanks at leash*
Malik: ACK! I don't know.....
Jackie: Answer the second question!
Malik: ...I don't know....
Jackie: Answer the third question!
Malik: ...I don't know....
Jackie: *Yanks at leash again* REALLY answer please! "I don't know" isn't an answer! *gasps* You silly goose you! You want to keep it all a surprise, don't you??? Ohhh, you're soooooo mysterious!! *BIG huggles!* ^.^...And he sooooo strong!! And he soooooo evil!! Mmmmmmmmm!! What size are your pants? I want in!
Malik: *thinking, "Maybe this won't be that bad....I hope..."*
Jackie: *Flicks the leash and whips Malik* No thinking!!!! I can't afford to have my little cutie gettin' ideas! ^.^
What becomes of the two? Well, Jackie kept the millennium rod, and took the leash off of Malik. He didn't run away when she took the leash off though, because she's still got that damn rod of his! You think he's gonna go anywhere without it??? Huh??? You think??? Of course not!!! Then in time, she took the handcuffs off, of course he right away went for the millennium rod, which Jackie dropped down the front of her shirt. I don't think he would want to go down there, 'cause if he does, she can call statutory rape on him!! HA HA! But did it look like he cared? Yes, he did the impossible....the unthinkable....then he headed for the door, but realized the door was locked. The locks were on the other side of the doors! AHH! There was no escape from the house!! They were both trapped forever in the house! You could only enter from the outside, then after that, that was it, you never got back out! So they both lived together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.....
*This is a conversation that I assume will happen after Jackie reads this*
Jessica: So, Jackie!! Whaddya think?
Jackie: O.O....Jessi.....I hate you....*smacks Jessi*
Yami Kaira: You mentioned me in the chapter, but you didn't even ADD me in!! How dare you!
Jessica: There was only a selected few!! I didn't add Ryou in!...Even though I should have..... and for the record of it, I might as well tell you all WHY everyone was jealous of each other!! Jonouchi was jealous because I'm paying more attention to Bakura instead of him. Yugi is jealous because Yami's like 2" taller than him. Yami is jealous of Yugi because Yugi is so short, cute and innocent looking and he can probably get away with anything....besides Ryou of course. Anzu is just stupid, she's jealous because Kaira-chan and Yami Kaira-chan pay attention to Yami....why is she jealous? I don't know....it's stupid really. Honda is jealous of Duke because Duke always beats him to Serenity. And Duke has finally found a reason for him to be jealous of someone! He's jealous of Jonouchi because Jonouchi looks better than him in the dog costume! (The reason why Duke bought it in the first place was to turn the ladies on, but he failed miserably because he didn't look good in it, so he made Jonouchi wear it when Jonouchi lost, and he wanted to make Jonouchi look really bad, but instead it made him look DAMN good! ^.^) And that's the end!! ^.^