-Chapter 8-
The sun was warm on our faces. It was late afternoon and the sun had begun its slow trek towards oblivion. The street we walked upon was filled with bright orange construction cones that surrounded manholes and severely damaged sections of pavement. A swift moving van skidded around an opened manhole and continued on, driving past us fast enough to whip my hair around my face.
"Hey! Watch where you're driving, you jerk!" Asuka yelled at the vanishing van. The sunlight bounced off its gleaming white exterior to blind us.
Asuka quickly raised her hand to shade her eyes.
"This sucks," she declared. "We pilot the Evas practically every week, protect Tokyo-Three, and we are still forced to walk home just like all the other nobodies in our class."
Shinji-kun shrugged.
"I don't know. I kind of like walking like this. It's nice."
"You just want to strut because you got six points higher, huh? Well don't get too cocky or I'll really have to knock you down to your place. Besides getting higher than Wondergirl isn't that much of an accomplishment anyway."
I felt something deep inside hit me. Something that shook my body somewhere within my chest. It rattled my bones and started what felt like a fire deep within the pit of my stomach. The heat drifted to the surface of my cheeks. I continued walking, my face in the same expressions as before, but only through great exercise of will.
Asuka turned to look over her shoulder at me. A look of disappointment seemed to flash across her visage as she met my usual expression. It lasted only a moment before she began smiling.
"Not gonna say anything, huh? You know it's true."
Walk. Walk. Don't feel. Walk. Commander has always said emotions weaken humanity. Thought is mankind's ally, science its salvation. Don't feel.
"Asuka."
"Shut up, Baka."
Don't feel. Don't talk. Look ahead. Walk.
"What's the matter, Wondergirl? You need your little manual to tell you what to do?"
Be calm. Rational. Analyze.
"Oh, Wondergirl.hey, I'm talking to you!"
An iron grip pressed against my biceps. I found Asuka blocking my path, holding her glaring face mere inches from mine. Her eyes were closed into dark slits. I felt her hot breath through her clenched teeth. Her eyebrows furrowed together.
"Wipe that smug look off your face or I'll do it for you," she hissed. I sensed her right hand slowly closing and opening into a tight fist.
"Asuka.don't."
"You stay out of this, Shinji. This is between me and her. Isn't that right, Wondergirl?"
She tightened her grip. I saw strings pulled taut in her neck and heavy cords winding up and down the length of her arms.
I flicked my eyes to where she gripped my arm and then back to her face to hold her stare. I said nothing but the meaning of the gesture was clear: release my arm. She did not.
As the seconds mounted, I could almost feel the tension radiating from Shinji-kun's body. The moment my vision shifted to include Shinji-kun was when I saw Asuka's hand leap from her side. I saw the blow coming but made no counter, letting my head be turned by her open palm.
She stood still after hitting me, glaring and breathing heavily. I turned to face her, feeling something thick and sticky drip down from my nose to fall onto the front of my blouse. We stayed like that, looking at each other, neither of us moving. Finally, she turned away, pulling Shinji by the sleeve as she picked up her schoolbag.
"C'mon," she said. "Let's go."
Shinji sputtered some reply but obediently followed. He looked back at me once as they walked away, a look of sorrow, pain, and indecision upon his face. Asuka tugged angrily at his arm, nearly yanking him off his feet. When he recovered from his stumble, he looked forward again.
I watched their dwindling figures recede into the sunlight. It was obvious they needed each other. Asuka to hit; Shinji to be hit. I did not see where I could fit in except as a replacement for Shinji.
I ran the side of my hand across the curve of my upper lip. A long, crimson arc of liquid streaked from my wrist to the end of my forefinger. I stared at this strange discovery, remembering my first encounter of LCL. And my first encounter with Shinji.
He had held me so lightly. The pain itself was almost unbearable, but his touch was what made me shudder.
I rubbed the dark blood with my thumb.
Was this what he had felt? Was this what made him pilot? Did I take away his life that day? Was my blood that powerful?
I felt water on my face and I lifted a finger to trace its path. It led to my eye.
No.
I quickly rubbed the droplet into the fabric of my skirt.
Think. Be rational. Analyze.
I gathered my belongings from the sidewalk and began to walk home. As I walked through the city park, cherry blossoms littered the ground. The leaves of many plants were a dark green as they died away.
The sun was warm on our faces. It was late afternoon and the sun had begun its slow trek towards oblivion. The street we walked upon was filled with bright orange construction cones that surrounded manholes and severely damaged sections of pavement. A swift moving van skidded around an opened manhole and continued on, driving past us fast enough to whip my hair around my face.
"Hey! Watch where you're driving, you jerk!" Asuka yelled at the vanishing van. The sunlight bounced off its gleaming white exterior to blind us.
Asuka quickly raised her hand to shade her eyes.
"This sucks," she declared. "We pilot the Evas practically every week, protect Tokyo-Three, and we are still forced to walk home just like all the other nobodies in our class."
Shinji-kun shrugged.
"I don't know. I kind of like walking like this. It's nice."
"You just want to strut because you got six points higher, huh? Well don't get too cocky or I'll really have to knock you down to your place. Besides getting higher than Wondergirl isn't that much of an accomplishment anyway."
I felt something deep inside hit me. Something that shook my body somewhere within my chest. It rattled my bones and started what felt like a fire deep within the pit of my stomach. The heat drifted to the surface of my cheeks. I continued walking, my face in the same expressions as before, but only through great exercise of will.
Asuka turned to look over her shoulder at me. A look of disappointment seemed to flash across her visage as she met my usual expression. It lasted only a moment before she began smiling.
"Not gonna say anything, huh? You know it's true."
Walk. Walk. Don't feel. Walk. Commander has always said emotions weaken humanity. Thought is mankind's ally, science its salvation. Don't feel.
"Asuka."
"Shut up, Baka."
Don't feel. Don't talk. Look ahead. Walk.
"What's the matter, Wondergirl? You need your little manual to tell you what to do?"
Be calm. Rational. Analyze.
"Oh, Wondergirl.hey, I'm talking to you!"
An iron grip pressed against my biceps. I found Asuka blocking my path, holding her glaring face mere inches from mine. Her eyes were closed into dark slits. I felt her hot breath through her clenched teeth. Her eyebrows furrowed together.
"Wipe that smug look off your face or I'll do it for you," she hissed. I sensed her right hand slowly closing and opening into a tight fist.
"Asuka.don't."
"You stay out of this, Shinji. This is between me and her. Isn't that right, Wondergirl?"
She tightened her grip. I saw strings pulled taut in her neck and heavy cords winding up and down the length of her arms.
I flicked my eyes to where she gripped my arm and then back to her face to hold her stare. I said nothing but the meaning of the gesture was clear: release my arm. She did not.
As the seconds mounted, I could almost feel the tension radiating from Shinji-kun's body. The moment my vision shifted to include Shinji-kun was when I saw Asuka's hand leap from her side. I saw the blow coming but made no counter, letting my head be turned by her open palm.
She stood still after hitting me, glaring and breathing heavily. I turned to face her, feeling something thick and sticky drip down from my nose to fall onto the front of my blouse. We stayed like that, looking at each other, neither of us moving. Finally, she turned away, pulling Shinji by the sleeve as she picked up her schoolbag.
"C'mon," she said. "Let's go."
Shinji sputtered some reply but obediently followed. He looked back at me once as they walked away, a look of sorrow, pain, and indecision upon his face. Asuka tugged angrily at his arm, nearly yanking him off his feet. When he recovered from his stumble, he looked forward again.
I watched their dwindling figures recede into the sunlight. It was obvious they needed each other. Asuka to hit; Shinji to be hit. I did not see where I could fit in except as a replacement for Shinji.
I ran the side of my hand across the curve of my upper lip. A long, crimson arc of liquid streaked from my wrist to the end of my forefinger. I stared at this strange discovery, remembering my first encounter of LCL. And my first encounter with Shinji.
He had held me so lightly. The pain itself was almost unbearable, but his touch was what made me shudder.
I rubbed the dark blood with my thumb.
Was this what he had felt? Was this what made him pilot? Did I take away his life that day? Was my blood that powerful?
I felt water on my face and I lifted a finger to trace its path. It led to my eye.
No.
I quickly rubbed the droplet into the fabric of my skirt.
Think. Be rational. Analyze.
I gathered my belongings from the sidewalk and began to walk home. As I walked through the city park, cherry blossoms littered the ground. The leaves of many plants were a dark green as they died away.