Jeshi-chan: And now...JONOUCHI!!!! *Grins*
Kaira-chan: We're back again ^-^
Jeshi-chan: Yeah, and we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh ^___^
Kaira-chan: Why are you so happy?
Jeshi-chan: Because I'm gonna marry Jonouchi *Skipping around*
Yami Kaira: I should have killed her in Drama Class like I had planned...
Kaira-chan: YK, No!! *Likes scolding a puppy*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kaira-chan: *Runs up to Yami* Have you seen Jonouchi?
Yami: no...why?
Kaira-chan: Well, I walked up to him, and he ran away screaming something like "Get the hell away from me you psycho."
Yami: What did you do to him =.=
Kaira-chan: *Innocently* nothing...
Yami: Jonouchi doesn't just run away from people for no reason...
Kaira-chan: I think it's a habit he picked up from Bob.
Yami: Bob? Who the hell is -
Jonouchi: *Comes running up* Yami!! YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME FROM KAIRA-CHAN!!
Yami: You moron. She's standing right here.
Jonouchi: *Sees Kaira-chan* O_o NO!!! MY ANSWER IS NO!!!!!!
Kaira-chan: I didn't even ask you a question.
Jonouchi: But you will. I've seen what you're doing to everyone else.
Kaira-chan: Do you think I'm crazy? Like everyone else thinks?
Jonouchi: YES!!!
Kaira-chan: Really?? *Glomps him* Thank you!
Jonouchi: What the hell?
Kaira-chan: You just agreed to marry me ^-^
Jonouchi: What the hell?! I did not!
Yami: *watching in mild amusement*
Kaira-chan: Yes you did. *Pulls out tape recorder* It says right here ^.^
Jonouchi: *smirks* Go ahead and play it. I agreed to no such thing.
Kaira-chan: *Presses play*
*Very loud music playing in backround*
Kaira-chan: Jonouchi, will you marry me?
*Music suddenly stops*
Jonouchi: YES!!!
Kaira-chan: *Presses stop button* See, there you go.
Jonouchi: .....I hate you Kaira-chan
Kaira-chan: So does everyone. Especially Seto. *Sighs* Now I have to regain his trust.
Jonouchi: Why? So then you can betray it again?
Kaira-chan: I DON'T BETRAY PEOPLES TRUST!! *Glares*
Jonouchi: *Hold up hands* OK OK, you don't! Geez, lets go plan the stupid wedding.
Kaira-chan: Ok ^-^ *Wraps arms around his elbow and drags him around*
Yami: *sniggers* She's a cunning one. *Begins to walk away* *Stops* Wait a minute... O_o *Runs to his house and locks himself in* She can't get me in here. *Rocks back and forth*
THE PLANNING
Jonouchi: Ok, I guess Yug' will be the best man ^-^
Kaira-chan: But he's already been the best man. For my and Ryou's wedding. You need to think of someone else.
Jonouchi: Ok, ok. I guess it's only fair. Who was the best man for your and Seto's wedding?
Kaira-chan: Um...Mokuba.
Jonouchi: Are you going to marry Mokuba too?
Kaira-chan: This isn't about me and Mokuba!!!!!! But yes, yes I am.
Jonouchi: O_o Aren't you afraid of getting charged for child molesting?
Kaira-chan: Shut up. We're planning our wedding. I suppose you're going to want Shizuka to be the Maid of Honor?
Jonouchi: *Nods* And I suppose you'll want Yami to be the Best Man?
Kaira-chan: OK ^-^ You would've chosen him anyway. He is your best friend next to Yugi.
Jonouchi: =.= Actually, I was gonna chose Honda, but oh well. OK, and for groomsmen, I'll have erm...Ryou, Yugi, Honda and -
Kaira-chan: SETO KAIBA!!!
Jonouchi: WHAT?? O_o
Kaira-chan: To late, it's already been said. *Marks down Seto by Groomsmen*
Jonouchi: =.=
Kaira-chan: And Jeshi, Ishtar, Rabab, Serina and Ti-na can be Brides Maids.
Jonouchi: What? There's no one from the show there!
Kaira-chan: What show?
Jonouchi: O_o I'm getting as bad as you and your authoressnessness.
Kaira-chan: Hmm...weird. Oh well. Lets begin the wedding.
Jonouchi: Wait!!!! Who will be the priest?
Kaira-chan: High Priest Seto!
Jonouchi: Seto's a groomsmen.
Kaira-chan: No! Not Seto Kaiba. High Priest Seto, there's a difference.
Jonouchi: O_o no...there will be 2 Seto's at my wedding. THE HORROR!!!
THE WEDDING
Jonouchi: *Panicking* YUGI!! WHERE THE HELL IS YAMI!! *Is shaking poor little Yugi roughly*
Yugi: I...don't...know...stop....shaking...me....please.
Kaira-chan: Yugi, do you think you could call him, and see where he is?
Jonouchi: AHHHH!!!! *Turns away, arm over his eyes*
Kaira-chan: Jonouchi-kun, what's the matter?
Jonouchi: OH GOD!! GO AWAY!!!!
Kaira-chan: JONOUCHI!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU??!!
Jonouchi: IT'S BAD LUCK FOR THE GROOM TO SEE THE BRIDE BEFORE THE WEDDING!! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!!
Kaira-chan: *Blinks* That's just stupid superstition...
Jonouchi: DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!! YOU'LL JINX IT!!!
Honda: Kaira-chan, please remember he is VERY superstitious.
Kaira-chan: =.= Oh yeah... *Leaves*
Jonouchi: *Sighs* Thank God she's gone. *Grabs Honda by the collar of his tux* WHERE THE HELL IS YAMI?!
Honda: Dude, you have got to calm down.
Jonouchi: I'mcalm. DoIlookstressedtoyou? *Points to himself* *He's all sweaty and jumpy looking with a crazed look in his eyes.
Honda: Yes, now take a deep breath and calm down. Deep breath. Breath with me. *Breaths in deeply* *Jonouchi breaths with him*
Jonouchi: Thanks dude, I was really over reacting there. I mean, everything will be A-OK, right? *Calm again*
Yugi: Bad news guys. Yami refuses to get out of the house. Something about Kaira-chan forcing him into a marriage.
Honda: O_o Yug' now was not the time...
Jonouchi: O_O OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! THE WEDDING IS RUINED! THE WEDDING IS GOING TO BE HORRIBLE, AND AND AND, I'LL HAVE TO REMEMBER IT FOREVER! OH GOD, I KNEW GETTING IN CONTACT WITH THOSE MILLENNIUM ITEMS WAS A BAD IDEA!!! *Turns to Yugi angrily* This is all your fault that this wedding is going to be horrible! YOUR FAULT!! *Is about to hit Yugi, then falls to his knees crying* I'm sorry Yug'. I - I don't know what came over me, I mean, all the stress. Honda can be my best man...
Yugi: Then whose going to fill in his place as a Groomsmen?
Honda: *glares at Yugi*
Jonouchi: OH MY GOD!! YOUR RIGHT!! THE WEDDING IS RUINED!!
Yugi: O_o Um...is that Anzu I hear calling me? Got to run! Bye!! *Runs off*
Honda: Erm... *Looks around* *Grabs a random stranger* Here he can take my place while I'm best man
Jonouchi: *looks at man* Hey Bob, I'm glad you could make it.
Honda: Who the hell is Bob?
Bob: AHH!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PSYCHO!! *Bats away Honda and runs off*
Honda: =.=
Jonouchi: WAH!! THE WEDDING IS RUINED!!!!!
Otogi: Quit crying you baby! I'll be a groomsman!
Jonouchi: *Looks up* THANK YOU!! *Looks around* Oh my God! The brides parents aren't here! The Wedding is ruined!!!
Honda: Jou, they haven't been at any of the weddings, and they aren't going to be.
Jonouchi: Oh, OK then, lets start the ceremonies.
Honda and Otogi: -.-;
*So, Jonouchi waits at the alter, exchanging insults with High Priest Seto, who keeps comparing him with a dingo. Shizuka and Honda walk down the isle arm in arm (Much to the distaste of Otogi), Jeshi and Ryou walk down together, Serina and Yugi walk down arm in arm (Just so you know, Serina-chan is 5"11) Ishtar and Otogi walk down, and Rabab and Seto walk down arm in arm (Rabab being the shortest one in my group) and Tina and Bob walk down the isle together (As soon as they got to the alter, Bob ran away screaming "Get away from me you PSYCHO")* *Then Kaira-chan walks down all alone looking ever so pretty*
High Priest Seto: Do you Kaira-chan, take this dingo -
Jonouchi: HEY!
Seto: I think he looks more like a dalmatian.
Bakura *From crowd*: Aren't Dalmatians one of the dumbest animal's to own? (OK, I took that for Chibi for a Day, by Spyder, read her ficcys)
Jonouchi: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!
Jeshi-chan: Yeah! *Draws gun* If either one of you Seto's makes fun of Jonouchi again, I'll blow your head off!!!
Kaira-chan: *Bursts out laughing*
*All my other Bridesmaid's (Except Rabab, who gets it, but just looks at everyone in disgust) seem to catch on and also burst out laughing*
Jeshi-chan: NO!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!!!
Both Seto's: *Blushing in disgust and embarrassment*
High Priest Seto: AHEM! Anyway, Kaira-chan?
Kaira-chan: I do.
High Priest Seto: OK, and do you din- er, Jonouchi, take Kaira-chan to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Jonouchi: I do.
High Priest Seto: You may now kiss the mutt - I mean *Looks at Jeshi* Just kiss already.
*Kaira and Jonouchi kiss, then they go on to the wedding*
*Both of them drink up a storm, with a surprise visit from Bob, calling Malik and Marik Psychos, and then running off*
MARRIED LIFE
Kaira-chan and Jonouchi lived sorta happy. They both went out drinking regularly, picked on little kids and all the other punkish stuff. They eventually divorced though, because Kaira-chan reminded Jonouchi that her goal was to marry everyone on the show, and she didn't love him. She loved Yami, and Pharaoh Yami and Bakur-
Jeshi-chan: AHEM!!
Kaira-chan: And alittle bit of Mal -
Ishtar-chan: AHEM!!!
Kaira-chan: You don't love Malik! You love Marik!
Ishtar-chan: So? Malik is Marik's light, and and and... *Grabs Malik and runs off*
Kaira-chan: I hate you both *Pouts* Neways, that's The En-
Yami Kaira: HEY!
Kaira-chan: What?
Yami Kaira: I WASN'T IN THIS CHAPTER!
Kaira-chan: Yeah? So?
Yami Kaira: You had some guy named Bob in your story, and you didn't mention me once!
Kaira-chan: Oh well, live with it. I have, "The Yami's were drinking at the wedding party" Didn't I?
Yami Kaira: I'm beginning to think you don't appreciate me.
Kaira-chan: THE END! *Yami Kaira and Kaira-chan disappear*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On to Jeshi-chan's. Yay ^-^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jessica: Hee hee hee!!! ^.^
Kaira: Yes, Jeshi-chan, we know you enjoyed being Ryou's wife.
Jessica: *nods* Yup! And I enjoyed helping to write up Jackie's extra! I think that's a funky name for her...Jackie Ishtar....cool!
Kaira: *sweat droppies* Yes...It is cool...and now Jackie hates us even more...I think...
Yami Kaira: Oh, everyone hates you two!_
Kaira and Jessica: *Nod* YUP! ^.^ *Both go into clapping and giggling fits as they try to copy Ryou's accent and say things like, "Jolly good" and "Good show" , "cheerio!"*
Jessica: *After five minutes of giggling and the weird British comments* Okay, who's next?
Kaira: Jonouchi, we get to marry Jonouchi!
Jessica: O.O....^.^ WHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Ryou and then Jonouchi? WOW!! What are the odds of that?!?!?!?!? Honestly!!!!!! ^.^ *runs off to find Jonouchi*
Yami Kaira: (to Kaira) You have a very very stupid friend...
Kaira: *Nods* Yup! ^.^
Jessica: JONOUCHI!!!!!!!!! *Huggles Jonouchi...after she finds him of course!*
Jonouchi: O.O....ACK!! GET OFFA ME! *pushes her away*
Jessica: Awwww.....Jonouchi sounds like he's grumpy! Did you get enough sleep?
Jonouchi: What the hell do you want?!
Jessica: Nothing, sweetie....except that we have to get married.
Jonouchi: Married? Are you crazy?!
Jessica: Is the sky blue?
Jonouchi: No, how about that?
Jessica: O.o...You mean the sky ISN'T blue? Like...usually?
Jonouchi: No, I mean,...NO I don't want to marry you!
Jessica: HEY! I didn't ASK you if you WANTED to marry me! I TOLD you were GOING to get married!
Jonouchi: Heheheh...I don't think so, "sweetie". *turns to leave*
Jessica: Grrrrrrr.....*grabs his shirt collar and pulls him back* Listen here, buddy! We are going
to get married, whether you like it or not, I EVEN have the papers right here!! *Holds up
property papers in front of Jonouchi*
Jonouchi: What the hell? Am I like Real Estate or somethin'?
Jessica: Sorrrrtttaaa....
Jonouchi: HA! I don't think so!! *Grabs the papers from Jessica's hand* I bet you just made up this crap, these are probably scribbles...*reads it*...O.O...Not fair!!!!!
Jessica: *Grabs the papers back, takes a deep breath and begins to read it all out to Jonouchi* "This document hereby proclaims Jeshi-chan (Jessica) the new owner of Jonouchi. She has full responsibility and possession over him, and yes, he is being treated like "Real Estate or somethin' "."
! I have respJonouchi: Awwww man!! This is as cheap as when stupid Marik took over my mind! *smacks head into wall*
Jessica: HEY!! I have responsibility over you, and if you get hurt, it'll be MY fault! Stop it!! *Checks his head to make sure he doesn't have a bump* NOW....who would you like as your best man?
Jonouchi: Ummm....Yugi, I guess.
Jessica: *shakes head* Typical....my maid of honour-ish will be Kaira-chan!
Jonouchi: Whatever....
Jessica: What about the birds?
Jonouchi: The what?
Jessica: The equivalent to the brides' maids!
Jonouchi: Ohhhh...um...um....Honda, Duke and Yami!
Jessica: O.o...Oookaayy...and Serenity, Yami Kaira-chan, and *shudders* Anzu will be the brides' maids.
Jonouchi: Why Anzu?
Jessica: 'Cause if I don't invite her or put her in somewhere, Yugi probably won't come.
Jonouchi: Damn...
Jessica: And Ryou will be the crying lady in the audience! Yeah....front row, centre.....(I'm a Canadian, THAT is how you spell CENTRE, thank you very much picky people! No offense to anyone)
Jonouchi: No! I want Marik to be the crying lady!
Jessica: How about NO?
Jonouchi: Whatever.
Jessica: Oooooh!!! And Mokuba can be the purrrrdy flower girl again!! He was sooo cute! ^.^
Jonouchi: ACCCKKK!!!! NO NO NO!!!!!! NO KAIBA!!
Jessica: Jonouchi! Don't be bitchy! We have to invite them!!
Jonouchi: No!! No Kaiba! They're eeeeeevvilllll.....
Jessica: No, Malik's evil. Mokuba's cute, and Seto is.....um....uh....Seto! (I'm having LOTS of trouble finding a good quality about Seto...sorry Seto fans)
Jonouchi: No Kaiba!!!!!!!!
Jessica: Yes Kaiba! And Mokuba WILL be the flower girl!...again....
Jonouchi: Grrrrrrrr...
Jessica: Come Jonouchi, we shall go find everyone else, and go out for ice cream floats!
Jonouchi: What?
Jessica: You know! When you put vanilla ice cream in a glass and pour in root beer, or coke or whatever! Then you drink it through a straw...or with a spoon, or whatever!
Jonouchi: Ooohhh.....I get it... *Is trying so hard to not sound happy about it but is doing terribly*
*So we all go out and have ice cream floats! Yummy!! And now we prepare for the wedding!!*
Kaira: Here, Yami! I'll help you get ready.
Yami: Um....okay! ^_^ *They both go into a room together*
Yami Kaira: What are they up to? *Suspicious-like eyes. Runs up and listens through the door*
Yami: Kaira....could you um...help me here? I can't seem to get this...undone....
Kaira: Okay! *Trying to get the tux buttons undone for Yami to get into it* There! All done!
Yami: Kaira-chan *Gestures for her to turn around*
Kaira: What?
Yami: I'm taking of my pants -.-;
Kaira: Oh, Ok ^-^ *Turns around*
Yami: *Still has his ice cream float with him. Holds it out to Kaira* Oh, here! You have to try this!
Kaira: Okay! *takes it* Um....Yami? What do you want me to do with this?
Yami: *shrugs* I dunno...drink it! Suck it up through the straw.
Kaira: Um...okay...*drinks some...but yeah, Kaira-chan has this thing for having the straw spit back at her...who knows how it happens, but yeah... that's just what sorta happens now. Congratulations, Kaira-chan, you now have vanilla ice cream all over you! Honestly people, there IS reason for this! You'll see in a second!*
Kaira: ACK!!
Yami: What? What happened?
Kaira: It exploded all over me!!
(NOW, put your minds in the gutter and repeat only the conversation to yourself. "Kaira, could you help me? I can't seem to get this undone." "Okay!" "I'm taking off my pants now." "Ok!" "There! All done!" " Oh, here! You have to try this!" " Okay, Um...Yami? What do you want me to do with this?" "I dunno...drink it! Suck it up through the straw." "Okay...ACK!" "What? What happened?" "It exploded all over me!!"....You get it now, don't you??)
Yami Kaira: WHAT!??! *Busts down the door and sees Yami standing in the room with his
trousers on, and Kaira sitting on the floor with vanilla ice cream on her...but Yami Kaira doesn't
know that it is ice cream, does she?* !!O.O!! KAIRA-CHAN!!!!!!!!!! I'LL KILL
YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls out MILLENNIUM katana and goes to kill Kaira*
Kaira: WHAT DID I DO?!?!? *Anzu runs in and stops Yami Kaira*
Anzu: No, Yami Kaira!
Yami Kaira: GET AWAY FROM ME!!! *Punches Anzu out. Everyone else comes running in and sees Kaira and Yami also*
Everyone: O.O!!
Ryou: !!!O.O!...Yami....you....you...you horny bastard!! *Everyone O.O!!! @ Ryou*
Honda: Okay, everyone. I think this is just one of those situations where we just not ask, and slowly back away out the door and pretend we saw nothing. *everyone nods and slowly backs out of the room....dragging the screaming Yami Kaira with them*
Jessica: *Finds Jonouchi at the front of the church doors* Jonouchi!!
Jonouchi: Ahh! Jessica! Don't you know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?!
Jessica: *shrugs* Meh, we're going to be separated before the end of the chapter anyway.
Jonouchi: Hmm...you're right. *Looks and sees Seto and Mokuba walking up the steps to the church* _...ohhh...so they DID come....
Seto: *Walks up to Jonouchi* Funny. I didn't think they allowed dogs in the church. *laughs to himself*
Jonouchi: *sarcastic* Hahaha...shut up...
Jessica: *beats Jonouchi over the head* Jonouchi! Be nice! *checks to see if he has a bump on his head*
Seto: ...._...Jessica...
Jessica: ...._...Seto...*Mokuba looks horribly confused*...^.^ Hullo, Mokuba! *Pats Mokuba's head*
Mokuba: Hee hee! ^.^ (Come on! You know little kids like anyone who'll pay attention to them! You know, "notice" their adorableness....even though Mokuba really IS adorable!! Unlike MY little siblings....)
Seto: *pulls Mokuba back suddenly* Mokuba! Stay back, they might bite and give you rabies or something....
Jessica: What??!
Seto: Well, you're marrying a dog, so that must make you the bitch. (For people who are just stupid, look it up in the dictionary, and you'll see what that was supposed to mean)
Jonouchi: ....Ooookaaayy....*scratches head*
Seto: (To Jonouchi) What's the matter, poodle? Got fleas? *laughs again*
Jessica: *Is pissed* Hey, Jonouchi. Do you think it's natural for the Green Giant to look like shit all the time, or is this just a seasonal change? *If you are stupid, I'll tell you that she was referring to Seto. LOL*
Seto: O.o...*Stops laughing and stares at Jessica and Jonouchi who are laughing hysterically*
*Now the wedding!! FUN!! ^.^....after the long wedding, we are finally at the wedding party! Can YOU guess what is going to happen next??? No, really. Guess!!! YEP! MALIK!!*
Malik: *comes charging into the hall where the party is. Runs up and rips the MILLENNIUM ring off from Bakura's neck and spikes it into the cake. Does a touch down sorta victory dance thing* YEAH!!! ^_^
Bakura: *pulls the MILLENNIUM ring from out of the cake*...Nice..._
Jonouchi: (To Jessica) You know, this is great being married to you. You totally burnt Seto....and.....yeah...you TOTALLY burnt Seto!!
Jessica: I burn everyone!! ^.^ *This is where you feel sorry for all of my friends at school*
Jonouchi: Jessica, If I hadn't met you, who knows what kind of horrible beast I would have married. *Everyone: Awwwww...*
Mai: *Hears Jonouchi and starts crying in the corner of the room. Stops after a few minutes and looks at the papers that Jessica had. Stands up on a table* Hey everyone!! I have something interesting to point out!
Yugi: Mai, we already know that Jessica owns Jonouchi!
Mai: No she doesn't!
Jonouchi: Huh? Really?
Mai: Uh huh! *Points to the bottom of the front page* This expired 5 minutes ago! He's a free man again!
Jonouchi: *Jumps up and down* Yahooo!! *Jessica glares. Jonouchi stops jumping* Err...I mean...oh no....how terrible.
Mai: Well, I don't know about you, Jonouchi, but I'M going for a little RIDE in my car. *jumps off the table and heads for the door*
Jonouchi: Well...I um....I uh....(turns to Jessica)...You know, you ARE really pretty, and wife material...and well....BYE! *Runs like hell after Mai out the door*
Everyone: O.O...
Jessica: !!O.O''....Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! DAMMIT! *Kicks Ryou*
Ryou: Ow!
Duke: You shouldn't be that upset, Jess, look on the bright side, you're single again!
Kaira: Yeah, Jeshi-chan! You can find another guy!
Jessica: What the hell are you talking about? I'm not upset!
Yami Kaira: Well then, what the hell are you doing?
Jessica: I just like sensitive guys who CRY when I KICK them!! *Kicks Ryou again*
Ryou: Owwwiee!! Stop it!! ToT
Jessica: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Keeps kicking him*
Kaira: Whee!! Me too!! *kicks Ryou also* ^.^