I don't have the patience to wait for reviews, so early on in the story, so
I'm posting the second chapter. Enjoy, and please remember, that this is my
fist shot at a Matrix fic. :)
For disclaimer, see first chapter.
As my training progressed, I learned to hide my still present fear, to control it. I stopped screaming every time the spike was pushed into the back of my head. Now, it was only my mind that screamed. I grew accustomed to the things around me. I got used to the Truth. Two Truths, actually. One, was the Truth I had been so forcefully taught through those simulations. The other was the Truth that I cad realized that first night in my room. My life was over.
Morpheus called my being unplugged 'being freed'. I called it my living death. We lived in a dead world. The ships were cold, the earth was bare, and only in the core of this dead Earth was there a flicker of life. People lived in the ground, machines keeping them alive. Everyone loved Zion. They fought for it. They called it the last human refuge. I saw as just another prison. Only this one, was a prison of both the mind and the body. Zion gave people hope. With hope they fought and died. Hope is the worst weapon, because hope blinds. I didn't share their hope of freedom. I was too afraid, and so hope did not blind me. My eyes were kept open, which led to my third Truth. The human race would lose the war. It was obvious.
We did not fight the machines. We hid from them. When we saw a sentinel, we waited in silence, praying for it to pass. When we met an agent, we ran. The people of Zion called unplugging liberating minds. I saw it as creating soldiers. Everyone we unplugged was expected in one way or another to join the war against the machines. It never occurred to them, that some might not want to fight. I guess that's because that as far as I could see, I was the only one who didn't. Maybe it was my fear that drove me, but I still had a mind, and that mind could not comprehend how it come to pass, that the definitions of liberation and war had become fused together.
I didn't know what was so bad with the Matrix. Morpheus told me that it was a prison. He told me that in the Matrix we were being controlled, while here we were free. I didn't see that. As far as I could tell, here we were being controlled just as much as we had been in the System. Here, we were expected to fight, to follow orders, even if we did not agree with them. We had no control over our actions because there was always someone higher up telling us what our next action would be. It puzzled me, but I did not complain. I could see that nobody shared my views on Zion, so I did not share them. I still wanted to go back, but just as Morpheus had said, I could not. I had made my choice when I'd taken that pill, and it was something that would never be undone. I understood why. It was not that the machines would not take my body, put me back in the System. It was that Zion would not give back a soldier it had created. It needed fighters, willing or not. And so, I realized that in my own way, I too had become a slave of Zion. It was not hope that kept me there. It was fear. Fear of Zion, and what it would do to me, if I attempted to desert it.
Like a puppet I obeyed orders. I learned. In the training systems, I was told to 'free my mind'. I found it ironic, that a person, whose mind was so hopelessly enslaved by hope, was telling me to free mine. I didn't see making the jump as bending the rules. I saw it as taking control.
Inside the Matrix, I was home. Yes, I knew that it too was a prison, but at least when I had belonged to this prison, it had never made me fight. I hated to fight. I was scared of what would happen should I ever lose. I was no afraid of death, since in my mind I had already experienced it. I was however afraid of pain. That is why, every time that the spike drove into my skull, my mind screamed. I knew that the spike was bringing me home, but I still feared the pain of the journey.
When we went into the Matrix, I knew that Zion expected me to fight, so I did. Me fear of Zion outweighed my fear of pain. When I fought I was as quick and deadly as I could be. I tried to get it over with as quickly as possible. It wasn't that difficult. I had learned to 'bend the rules', as Morpheus put it, very quickly and very well. After all, these were the rules of my home. I understood them, and so it was easy to control them, to bend them to my will. I became one of Zion's prized fighters. The commanders of the Resistance saw my quick fighting, as loyalty. They did not see the ever-present fear. Good fighters, to them meant good soldiers, and if like me those soldiers had good minds, they made good leaders. And so it was that as the years passed, I climbed the ranks of the prison that was Zion. And all around me, the people remained oblivious of my fear, of my anger towards Zion. All that mattered to them was that I fought for their cause.
___________________ Reviews are very welcome, and very much appreciated.
For disclaimer, see first chapter.
As my training progressed, I learned to hide my still present fear, to control it. I stopped screaming every time the spike was pushed into the back of my head. Now, it was only my mind that screamed. I grew accustomed to the things around me. I got used to the Truth. Two Truths, actually. One, was the Truth I had been so forcefully taught through those simulations. The other was the Truth that I cad realized that first night in my room. My life was over.
Morpheus called my being unplugged 'being freed'. I called it my living death. We lived in a dead world. The ships were cold, the earth was bare, and only in the core of this dead Earth was there a flicker of life. People lived in the ground, machines keeping them alive. Everyone loved Zion. They fought for it. They called it the last human refuge. I saw as just another prison. Only this one, was a prison of both the mind and the body. Zion gave people hope. With hope they fought and died. Hope is the worst weapon, because hope blinds. I didn't share their hope of freedom. I was too afraid, and so hope did not blind me. My eyes were kept open, which led to my third Truth. The human race would lose the war. It was obvious.
We did not fight the machines. We hid from them. When we saw a sentinel, we waited in silence, praying for it to pass. When we met an agent, we ran. The people of Zion called unplugging liberating minds. I saw it as creating soldiers. Everyone we unplugged was expected in one way or another to join the war against the machines. It never occurred to them, that some might not want to fight. I guess that's because that as far as I could see, I was the only one who didn't. Maybe it was my fear that drove me, but I still had a mind, and that mind could not comprehend how it come to pass, that the definitions of liberation and war had become fused together.
I didn't know what was so bad with the Matrix. Morpheus told me that it was a prison. He told me that in the Matrix we were being controlled, while here we were free. I didn't see that. As far as I could tell, here we were being controlled just as much as we had been in the System. Here, we were expected to fight, to follow orders, even if we did not agree with them. We had no control over our actions because there was always someone higher up telling us what our next action would be. It puzzled me, but I did not complain. I could see that nobody shared my views on Zion, so I did not share them. I still wanted to go back, but just as Morpheus had said, I could not. I had made my choice when I'd taken that pill, and it was something that would never be undone. I understood why. It was not that the machines would not take my body, put me back in the System. It was that Zion would not give back a soldier it had created. It needed fighters, willing or not. And so, I realized that in my own way, I too had become a slave of Zion. It was not hope that kept me there. It was fear. Fear of Zion, and what it would do to me, if I attempted to desert it.
Like a puppet I obeyed orders. I learned. In the training systems, I was told to 'free my mind'. I found it ironic, that a person, whose mind was so hopelessly enslaved by hope, was telling me to free mine. I didn't see making the jump as bending the rules. I saw it as taking control.
Inside the Matrix, I was home. Yes, I knew that it too was a prison, but at least when I had belonged to this prison, it had never made me fight. I hated to fight. I was scared of what would happen should I ever lose. I was no afraid of death, since in my mind I had already experienced it. I was however afraid of pain. That is why, every time that the spike drove into my skull, my mind screamed. I knew that the spike was bringing me home, but I still feared the pain of the journey.
When we went into the Matrix, I knew that Zion expected me to fight, so I did. Me fear of Zion outweighed my fear of pain. When I fought I was as quick and deadly as I could be. I tried to get it over with as quickly as possible. It wasn't that difficult. I had learned to 'bend the rules', as Morpheus put it, very quickly and very well. After all, these were the rules of my home. I understood them, and so it was easy to control them, to bend them to my will. I became one of Zion's prized fighters. The commanders of the Resistance saw my quick fighting, as loyalty. They did not see the ever-present fear. Good fighters, to them meant good soldiers, and if like me those soldiers had good minds, they made good leaders. And so it was that as the years passed, I climbed the ranks of the prison that was Zion. And all around me, the people remained oblivious of my fear, of my anger towards Zion. All that mattered to them was that I fought for their cause.
___________________ Reviews are very welcome, and very much appreciated.