Chapter 24: …Two Steps Back
Harrian looked at the scroll in front of him which Anomen and Yoshimo had delivered, along with a brief outline of their plan, before going to their separate rooms and falling into the same deep, exhausted sleep. Jaheira – for it was clear Jaheira had told them to do this – had plainly motivated them well, because this put them in a prime position to get back on track.
But Corias felt none of the relief he knew he should. There was still that burning tension within him, the frustration he had felt since drifting out of unconsciousness. An intense feeling of uselessness and, somewhere inside there, fear. But he would never admit the reason, not even to himself.
There was a knock on the door, and Harrian ignored it. He wanted to be left to his own thoughts for now. Jaheira had come by earlier, in an attempt to get him to talk about his problems, but he had sent her away, perhaps a little too harshly… but he was in no mood or mind to talk.
But the door opened anyway, and the druid stepped in. She didn't say a word, merely walked up to him and read the scroll resting on the table he was standing at over his shoulder. "So this is our solution?" she asked quietly. "Hope that Duchinov places the scroll in an attainable place so we can easily find and retrieve it at this ball?"
"That is the gist of it, yes," Harrian answered. A few hours ago he might have been amused by the suggestion Yoshimo had falteringly mentioned that Tellis had made. Now he could conjure up no such emotion.
"You believe it will not work?" Jaheira asked lightly, looking at him. He had not shaken the mood all night, and it was now four of the morning. "You do not believe going to this ball will achieve anything?"
"I don't know," he confessed, still not looking at her as he shrugged. "I know I believe that this will, ultimately, not change things. I keep on feeling that we are doomed to fail in this quest; that it is all in vain," he mumbled, stepping back and staring out the window.
Surprising himself, he felt no desire to pull away as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You fear for Imoen," Jaheira murmured, stepping up behind him, her voice taking on a sympathetic edge he didn't want to hear.
But he found himself opening up to her, now she had hit right on the point of his worries. "I… I just want to know if she's alright," he whispered, shaking his head. "And I can't know that. I have no way of finding out, just like I have no way of getting her back."
"We're working on it," the druid reminded him quietly. "Here are the means to finding her," she continued, gesturing at the scroll on the desk.
He snorted. "Pah! All we have is an invitation to a ball which we may or may not be allowed into anyway, where we may or may not find the scroll, which may or may not be of any value whatsoever and may or may not be a nudge in the right direction to finding Imoen! I'm sorry, Jaheira, but that's really not good enough for me!" he raved.
She looked at him, and for a moment considered leaving him to his own misery, but then, realising he could do anything in his volatile mood, decided to stay, for his well-being. "You're doing everything you can."
"No, everything I can is taking the Shadow Thieves up on their offer," Harrian pointed out dully. "But I'm not going to do that… they cheated me and left me for dead when I did a job for them; I'm not running the risk of that again. I'll be no help to Imoen dead. I'm not going to do that, even if it would be more progressive than pursuing this scroll nonsense."
Jaheira looked quizzically at him. "Not even for Imoen?" she asked quietly, then instantly regretted the question, knowing how much more inner turmoil that would give him, when he needed as little as possible.
"I don't know, damn it!" he huffed, sitting down on the bed. "Gods, if I knew what I was supposed to do, what was right, then I'd do it, no matter what it required. But this… it just feels like it's getting us absolutely nowhere; that we're bringing the anger of the city down upon us to no avail. And I feel, I know that working for the Shadow Thieves is not right."
She picked up the invitation. "Anomen and Yoshimo appear to have come up with a suitable plan. Whatever this scroll is, the Cowled Wizards want it. A bargain, the scroll for Imoen, and then we worry about Irenicus later."
"You've changed your tack," Harrian observed quietly, then sighed. "I don't know if I care about Irenicus any more. I just always get this horrible feeling that I'm going to fail, that I'm never going to see Imoen again, because… it's like, one step forwards, two steps back. It started off about the Cowled Wizards, then it became the Cowled Wizards and Bodhi, then the Cowled Wizards, Bodhi and the scroll, now the Cowled Wizards, Bodhi, the scroll, and Duchinov. The world is piled against us."
"We've faced worse before," Jaheira reminded him lightly, sitting down next to him. "And you know that we just have to push through before things will work. That is the way of things. It's not as if we are faced with a dead-end – there is a path before us, a plan to follow."
"Did they tell you exactly what the plan was, however?" he answered , deciding he was the best person to let Jaheira know what she was going to have to do.
She looked suspiciously at him, the ability to read him like a book which she had developed over the years. "No…" the druid replied, half closing one eye as she glared at him. "I take it you are going to tell me."
If he didn't feel like this, he'd have been amused by the whole situation. "They spoke to Tellis," Harrian mused. "He told them that Duchinov is highly ambitious, and likes to show off his luxuries and valuables. His close friends often get a chance to see them so he can prove his superiority… and he is particularly fond of using them to impress the ladies he has his eyes on."
"If you are asking me to do what I think you are, then the answer is no. Not for anything," Jaheira responded firmly. "I refuse to act like a harlot so you can get this scroll. Do you think I have no principles?"
"I'm not asking you to do anything like that!" he exclaimed with conviction, a shocked expression on his face. "I'd never ask you to do that! I just want you to feign an interest in him, get him to show you where the scroll is… Nothing more, I promise!"
"There are other ways," Jaheira assured him positively. "And besides, what's to make you so sure it'll work? If we go to this ball, then there are sure to be hundreds of women, all out with the same goal as me… without the scroll-stealing. Who says he shall set his sights on me?"
"How couldn't he?" Harrian replied, his face lighting up, giving her the lopsided smile that showed he was joking. "You could go in with no fancy party dress and all that and still outshine the others there looking for a rich bugger to shimmy up with!"
"I'll take that as a compliment," the druid answered dryly.
"Oh, you should," he continued, still with the amused look on his face as he swept around her. "We'll spend whatever money left on the high-class treatment all of these girls that frequent these dreary social occasions, and Duchinov will be completely unable to resist you."
Jaheira decided to tolerate him, as he was being far more upbeat at the moment. "You are saying I need all of that expensive treatment before I can attract the Count?" she retorted lightly.
"Of course not. You look beautiful enough as it is," Harrian declared with conviction, then the smile died on his face as he froze, regarding her cautiously as the final words escaped from his lips before he could stop them.
There was a long silence as they regarded each other. Then Jaheira turned away. "I still believe this will not work," she said, her controlled mask already slipped over her face as she stood, unable to meet his eyes.
"I mean it, you know," he answered, his voice low as he stared at the back of her head. "You are –"
"Don't," she hissed, turning to face him. "By Silvanus, do not finish that sentence." There was an edge to her voice that Harrian had never heard turned on him, and the full implications of what he was doing hit him like a sack of bricks.
"Okay," he murmured numbly, then stepped beside her. "Still, with Duchinov, it's worth a try. What do you have to lose? This is our first chance; we'll all be there… at worst, it's a reconnaissance mission."
She paused for a long moment. "Very well," Jaheira agreed stiffly, then turned. "I had better go. If the situation is as it is, then we will all be needing sleep to confront the coming days." She didn't look back as she started towards the door, and very soon Harrian was left in the room on his own.
"Idiot, idiot, idiot," he muttered, kicking his pack over, then raised his eyes skyward. "Forgive me, old friend, for what I have done. You know I mean no disrespect. As I promised, I am here to watch over your wife, and I shall not overstep the bounds of my promise," he murmured, then sank down onto the bed, wondering if Khalid would strike him down where he sat for his impetuousness. "Wouldn't bloody blame him."