Chapter 31: Dispelled Illusions
They had managed to make it away from the estate with minimal problems, for their activities had most likely only gone noticed by the time they were off Duchinov's land. They doubted the count would connect the theft to them, and there were no worries of the authorities coming down upon them, so, as far as they were concerned, Duchinov was dealt with.
The group came to a stop as they reached the first of the streets, and stopped to gather their breath from hurtling across the estate's gardens before they could be noticed. The quest had been successful, but things were far from perfect.
As they stood, a motley bunch in clothes of nobles that they didn't seem to belong in, recovering from running away from the scene of their crime, they reflected how insane matters had become for them.
Yoshimo handed the scroll to Harrian wordlessly as Jaheira, first to really recover, glared at him, finally gathering her wits about her. "Why, in Silvanus' name, did you have to do that?" she yelled at him abruptly, angry for reasons even she couldn't understand.
Corias looked up at her, still shaken from the brush with darkness he thought he had banished. "What?" he demanded indignantly. "You thought I was just going to stand there and let him... do that?"
"I had thought you might show a little restraint beyond beating bloody someone who could present a very real problem for us! Another one!" Jaheira retorted, before turning on her heel and striding off in the direction of the Bridge District.
Harrian glanced at the others, who looked innocently around and decided spontaneously that they would take a different way home, before he ran after her. A few drops of moisture falling on his face told him that it had started to rain.
"I'm sorry, but I got angry!" he responded, not sounding particularly apologetic. "I couldn't just sit there and watch that happen! I made…" I made a promise to Khalid… but somehow, that isn't the issue here and she knows it.
"I am grateful for the intervention," Jaheira assured him, not looking at him as they strode down the streets, she trying to keep ahead, him trying to keep up. "But the depth of your emotion on the matter was quite unwanted."
He grimaced, and glared at her. "Very well, so next time I will calmly pull off the man who's on the verge of raping you, shall I?" he yelled, practically hopping with irritation and frustration. He then went on to say one of the stupidest things he had ever uttered. "Or did I just interfere when the plan was going the way you wanted it?" he muttered bitterly.
Harrian regretted the words the moment they left his lips, and Jaheira's left hook that sent him spinning into some piled boxes helped him feel much worse. He managed to soften his fall by hitting the ground with his hands first, but the only pain that eased was the physical one.
"How dare you!" Jaheira yelled at him, shaking with fury and disappointment. "How dare you insinuate that I would do such a thing? You think I would… you believe I…" Her voice trailed off, and she then gathered herself together. "You think I would dishonour Khalid's memory by –"
"No," Harrian said firmly, clambering to his feet. "That's not what I meant at all!" He then realised how unconvincing this was. "I mean… it was… but don't listen to me, Jaheira, that was just… look, I'm sorry, okay?" he whispered, as sincere as he could possibly be. "That was a stupid and insensitive thing to say. I just got angry, and I'm so sorry…"
He knew there was no way to make things right, and Jaheira's reply confirmed that. She didn't seem angry with him anymore, but just more upset and frustrated as she spoke. It was raining hard now, and her hair was plastered against her head. "I would never, ever do such a thing to dishonour Khalid's memory," she told him quietly, firmly. "Yes, I intend to move on with my life, as he would want me to, but not by leaping into bed with some half-crazed aristocrat!"
She turned and started down the street again, and he hurried after her, rainwater soaking into his shoes – oh, to be out of this ridiculous clothing and into solid boots again – as he padded through puddles. "I know," he assured her. "I was just… being stupid…"
Once again, Jaheira seemed to ignore his replies. "I will not dishonour Khalid's memory," she repeated roughly. "You know I would never have done such a thing with Duchinov. You know I never will, not with him, and…" Her voice grew a little softer, and more regretful. "And also not with you."
He came to a stunned halt as he stared at her. "Jaheira…"
"Harrian, I am telling you now, whatever you are feeling, stop feeling it," she told him abruptly. "I would much rather you went back to being the friend who had sworn an oath to my husband than…"
"I still am!" Corias insisted, grabbing her by the shoulder and pulling her around to face him. "And, as our tiefling bard pointed out to me the other day, protecting you and caring for you are two things that are not mutually exclusive; indeed probably work better together!"
"It is still not right!" Jaheira retorted. "I find it hard to believe that you, of all people, are arguing for this! This is my decision to make, and mine alone!"
Harrian still didn't let go of her. "I'd listen to you if this was truly what you wanted, or truly what you believed was wrong," he whispered firmly. "But you're simply doing this because you know it is what you should think is wrong, what you shouldn't want, rather than truly believing that!"
"It does not matter what I want!" she retorted, pushing his arms away and striding off again. "We do not go through our lives ruling them by simply what we want, and you know that full well!"
"Fine!" Harrian continued, still keeping pace with her, brushing the rainwater from his eyes. "But you know as well as I do that you cannot change your mind and your heart simply because you feel you ought to!"
"I am going to try!" Jaheira yelled at him. "I am going to try because it is the right thing to do! I know this." Her expression softened a little as she regarded him. "Are you going to respect my wishes, even if you don't agree with them, or will you continue to pursue this?"
Harrian met her gaze easily. "I will do whatever it is I need to do to ensure that I keep my promise to Khalid," he whispered.
This was not quite an answer, not quite a conclusion, but it was good enough for Jaheira if it meant that he had bought her more time to decide just what she was going to do, and how she was going to do it.
He didn't keep in step with her this time as she turned and marched on, but she suspected he would be following from a distance, not so close as to invade her privacy, but at hand if she were to encounter any trouble.
Oh, how he played with her head.