Nick and Kath arrived at the hospital and took a deep breath, looking up at
the tall building. Although they had seen it so many times before, this
time it seemed different and they noticed everything about it, each floor,
each window, each face staring out. They had seen it before, but hadn't
actually 'noticed' it, and it looked so different. It was different because
of what it now represented. Before, it had just been where they worked, but
now they knew it was where Kath would be spending the final days before she
died.
They entered the ward and were shown to the room where Kath would be. The nurse came in and took Kaths obs and wired her up to the monitors and painkillers. Kath watched, with a lump in her throat, wishing that it was her that was doing this, her being the nurse, not the patient. She thought about all the times she had taken peoples obs and wired them up to the machines, and tears welled in her eyes, as she realised that she would never be doing it again. She would never be 'Kath the nurse' again. All she was now was 'Kath, the patient in bed 3. The one that was dying.' And she realised that she had never actually been given the chance to be called 'Sister Jordan'. She hadn't been to work since she had married Nick, because it had been that same day that she was told that she was dying.
She swallowed, gulping back the lump in her throat and turned to Nick
KATH: you go and get a coffee or something
NICK: No, I'm staying with you, I'm fine
KATH: No you're not, you need a break from this room
He looked at Kath and knew that she wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. Nick sighed
NICK: Ok...
He kissed her on the head
NICK: I won't be long...
As Nick got up and left the room, Kath quietly let out a deep breath. As much as she loved Nick and was glad that he was with her, she didn't need looking after every second and needed to be on her own, in her own space with her own emotions, now and again. She needed to shed a few tears, but felt as though she couldn't do that in front of people, Nick and Diane, she didn't want to. She didn't want them to have to cope with that as well, trying to find something to say, knowing that nothing, no words, were going to make any difference or change anything.
Kath rolled on to her side and looked towards the window, tears gently beginning to roll down her face, just as Nick walked back in...
NICK: Sorry I forgot to ask, do you want anythi...
He looked up and saw the tears in her eyes
NICK: Kath...oh...Kath...
He sat down on the side of the bed and held her in his arms. She hadn't wanted him to see her cry, but now that she had started, there was no stopping the tears from falling from her deep brown eyes
NICK: Shhh...shhhh...
KATH: I...I'm just...I'm frightened Nick...I'm frightened
NICK: I.I know.I know.
KATH: I don't want to die.not now.not like this.
Nick continued holding her tightly as the tears began welling in his eyes. He didn't know what to say. There were no words that were going to make her feel better, change what was happening. As much as he didn't want them to, tears began rolling down his face. It wasn't his place to cry. He had to be strong for Kath, but there was nothing he could do to stop he tears from falling, like hers were.
NICK: Oh Kath.the days I've wasted just not being with you.I'm sorry.and.and it's breaking my heart.coz.coz I'm to blame.and I've taken you for granted.
KATH: No.no you haven't.in my life your one of the few people who hasn't taken me for granted.and I love you.
NICK: When I look back I can see it.in so many ways.
Nick wiped a tear away from his cheek and took a deep breath
NICK: but not any more.from this moment on I'm gunna make every second count.make every moment special.and I'm not gunna leave you.not again.I'm here for you my darling.I'm here.I'm never gunna leave your side.
Kath flinched in pain and another tear rolled down her face
NICK: Oh hunney.if I could make the pain go away I would.I would swap places with you in an instant
Kath nodded, tears still falling
KATH: I know.but when I look back I don't see that.when I look at all the time I've spent with you.I can't help but smile.I think about you everyday.
NICK: And I think about you everyday too.and.and I always will.
They entered the ward and were shown to the room where Kath would be. The nurse came in and took Kaths obs and wired her up to the monitors and painkillers. Kath watched, with a lump in her throat, wishing that it was her that was doing this, her being the nurse, not the patient. She thought about all the times she had taken peoples obs and wired them up to the machines, and tears welled in her eyes, as she realised that she would never be doing it again. She would never be 'Kath the nurse' again. All she was now was 'Kath, the patient in bed 3. The one that was dying.' And she realised that she had never actually been given the chance to be called 'Sister Jordan'. She hadn't been to work since she had married Nick, because it had been that same day that she was told that she was dying.
She swallowed, gulping back the lump in her throat and turned to Nick
KATH: you go and get a coffee or something
NICK: No, I'm staying with you, I'm fine
KATH: No you're not, you need a break from this room
He looked at Kath and knew that she wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. Nick sighed
NICK: Ok...
He kissed her on the head
NICK: I won't be long...
As Nick got up and left the room, Kath quietly let out a deep breath. As much as she loved Nick and was glad that he was with her, she didn't need looking after every second and needed to be on her own, in her own space with her own emotions, now and again. She needed to shed a few tears, but felt as though she couldn't do that in front of people, Nick and Diane, she didn't want to. She didn't want them to have to cope with that as well, trying to find something to say, knowing that nothing, no words, were going to make any difference or change anything.
Kath rolled on to her side and looked towards the window, tears gently beginning to roll down her face, just as Nick walked back in...
NICK: Sorry I forgot to ask, do you want anythi...
He looked up and saw the tears in her eyes
NICK: Kath...oh...Kath...
He sat down on the side of the bed and held her in his arms. She hadn't wanted him to see her cry, but now that she had started, there was no stopping the tears from falling from her deep brown eyes
NICK: Shhh...shhhh...
KATH: I...I'm just...I'm frightened Nick...I'm frightened
NICK: I.I know.I know.
KATH: I don't want to die.not now.not like this.
Nick continued holding her tightly as the tears began welling in his eyes. He didn't know what to say. There were no words that were going to make her feel better, change what was happening. As much as he didn't want them to, tears began rolling down his face. It wasn't his place to cry. He had to be strong for Kath, but there was nothing he could do to stop he tears from falling, like hers were.
NICK: Oh Kath.the days I've wasted just not being with you.I'm sorry.and.and it's breaking my heart.coz.coz I'm to blame.and I've taken you for granted.
KATH: No.no you haven't.in my life your one of the few people who hasn't taken me for granted.and I love you.
NICK: When I look back I can see it.in so many ways.
Nick wiped a tear away from his cheek and took a deep breath
NICK: but not any more.from this moment on I'm gunna make every second count.make every moment special.and I'm not gunna leave you.not again.I'm here for you my darling.I'm here.I'm never gunna leave your side.
Kath flinched in pain and another tear rolled down her face
NICK: Oh hunney.if I could make the pain go away I would.I would swap places with you in an instant
Kath nodded, tears still falling
KATH: I know.but when I look back I don't see that.when I look at all the time I've spent with you.I can't help but smile.I think about you everyday.
NICK: And I think about you everyday too.and.and I always will.