Something was wrong with Donna. She'd been avoiding my eye all through Thanksgiving dinner. It was the first time she'd been home from Madison in way too long. In September she'd visited every weekend, but then in October she started to get swamped with work for her courses, and there just wasn't time. I offered to come visit her, but there wasn't even time for that, and besides my boss kept giving me Saturday afternoon shifts.

Donna barely even made it home for Thanksgiving weekend. She'd taken a cab from the bus station and arrived at my house just as my extended family - including Laurie, Fez, Bob, Hyde and Jackie - was sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. So now after dinner, with our parents napping off the turkey in the living room, Laurie gone off slutting, Fez visiting his old host parents and Hyde and Jackie probably doing evil, unnatural things in the basement, we were alone together in my room for the first time in a month.

"It's so good to see you again," I said, hugging her. She smelled nice, like some kind of incense. She was so beautiful, I could hardly believe she was mine. I kissed her, but there was something missing - she wasn't really kissing me back. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Is there something wrong at school?" She'd said she was loving all her classes - especially Intro to Women's Studies, she always talked about that one - but I was afraid she was getting overwhelmed by the work. It was a lot different from high school, she'd told me that.

She moved away from me on the bed, and fiddled with her ring - the ring that marked her as my future wife. "Oh, school's fine. But...we need to talk."

I didn't like the way she said that. Bad things always happened when a girl said 'We need to talk' like that. "About what?"

Donna looked down at her hand. "Oh God, there's no easy way to say this." She looked up at me with worried eyes. "Eric, I can't marry you." She pressed the ring into my hand.

stared at her. I thought I must have misheard her. But no, I could feel the warm circle of the ring in my palm. My ears seemed to ring, and for a moment she looked very far away. "What?" I managed to gulp out.

"I'm so sorry!" she said, and grabbed me in a hug. "It's not a problem with you, it's me!"

I stayed rigid. "Did you meet someone else?"

"Sort of," she said. "It's not what you think."

"Wow, and it's only November," I said coldly, pushing her away from me. "That must be some kind of record for getting over the love of your life. Is he on the football team?" I wanted her to hurt, damn it, like she was hurting me.

Donna put her hand over her mouth, and her eyes glimmered like she was going to cry. She shook her head. Then she slid her hand away and said "No, she's in my Women's Studies class."

I stared at her for a moment in stunned, confused silence. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were scared. I don't know what she was seeing on my face. "W-what?" I finally managed to stammer.

"Eric, I'm gay. That's why I can't marry you." One tear slid down her cheek.

I was getting that faraway feeling again, and I felt the blood rushing in my ears. I wondered if I was about to go into a fit of uncontrollable rage, or maybe just pass out. "You can't be gay, Donna. We had sex. Lots of times. You liked it."

"It's more complicated than that. It's like... all along there was something missing, only I didn't even know it 'till I found it."

"If there's something missing, we can work it out. We can find it." My voice started to get higher-pitched in my confused desperation. "We love each other, Donna, you can't just throw that away!"

"There's no way you can be what I need, Eric, I'm sorry." She made a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh. "You're just not girly enough."

"That's not funny, Donna!" I slammed my fist down on the mattress. "You're making a huge mistake! This is going to ruin your life. You'll never be able to get married, have a family-"

"I never wanted those things, Eric!" she interrupted me, her eyes flashing. "You were the one who wanted them."

"What you're talking about is wrong!" I yelled, pushing away the pain that shot through me when she said that. "It's not natural! People will hate you for it, you'll get hurt over and over again!"

"Well, this is a great beginning for that, isn't it?" she said, her voice breaking in a couple places. Tears were flowing down her cheeks now. "Look, I've got to go. I just need one promise from you."

I gave her a stony look, fiercely holding back my own tears.

"Don't tell anyone else I'm gay. I know I'll need to come out eventually...I'm just not ready yet." She pressed her hand tightly over her mouth, stifling a sob.

"So what the hell can I tell them? We're not going to pretend the wedding's still on, are we?" Even though my voice was full of anger, I secretly and desperately hoped that she would say yes, that we should pretend the wedding was still on. If we pretended hard enough, maybe it could still come true. In another month she'd get over this, and come back to me and say she was wrong, and I'd take her back, and nothing would have to change at all.

"We'll tell them we realized we're still too young after all. Just like our parents thought."

I had to turn my back on her. She was so beautiful, with her long red hair flowing loose and her pale skin flushed from the crying. I loved her so much. I couldn't let go of her like this, but nothing I said was working. And I was starting to cry. "Go away," I said as harshly as I could. "If you're going to go, just go."

I hear the bed creak, and a moment later I felt her lips brushing my cheek. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. I didn't turn around. Then the door opened and shut, and she was gone.

***

"Jesus, Forman, how long have you been out here?"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Hyde coming out of his room with Jackie trailing after him, holding his hand. They both looked rumpled and distinctly post-coital. It made my throat catch. I almost wished I'd stayed up in my room. "The engagement is off," I said.

"What?!" Jackie exclaimed. "But she's only been gone two months!"

"I know," I said, and I started to cry.

Fuck, that wasn't supposed to happen. I'd come down to the basement because I'd been crying in my room for an hour, and I felt so sad I thought I would die from it, and I'd decided that I'd come down and let Hyde and Jackie distract me. I didn't want to cry in front of my friends. I was supposed to tell them that the breakup was mutual. They weren't going to believe that with me sitting here weeping like a little girl.

I felt Hyde and Jackie sit down on either side of me - Hyde on my right, Jackie on my left. I felt both their arms sliding over my shoulders.

"I cried for days the first time Michael broke up with me," Jackie said softly.

"Shut up, Jackie," Hyde said, just as soft.

I don't know how long we sat there, with me sandwiched between them, sobbing. I know that at some point, Hyde turned on the TV to a football game and Jackie found a box of Kleenex for me. I was lost in my dark ball of hurt and loss until I heard Kelso exclaim "What the hell is going on here?!"

"What do you think?" Jackie snapped.

Kelso hesitated for a moment, then gave a gasp of horror. "Luke Skywalker is dead?!"

"No, idiot," Hyde said. I felt him shift his arm to give me a quiet hug, out of sight. "Donna broke off the engagement."

"Oh, man, that's rough." I heard the scrape of the lawn chair on the floor as Kelso took a seat. "Did she meet some college guy?"

"We haven't got any details out of him yet." Hyde's tone was dry, but I felt him hugging me tighter.

The door slammed open. "My host parents tricked me into going to church!" Fez announced. "Oh my God, what happened to Eric?"

I tried to salvage a scrap of dignity by explaining for myself this time. I took a deep breath and said it very fast. "Donna-and-I-broke-up-because we-realized-we're-not-old-enough to-get-married-yet."

Fez nodded, looking pensive. "Yes, marriage is a very serious commitment. You must not enter the holy sacrament lightly."

I cleared my throat. "Fez, you married Laurie-the-slut so you could keep your green card."

Fez deflated. "I would be a good husband if only she would let me."

Jackie beckoned Fez over. "If you want to be sad, come over here and be sad with Eric. My arm's falling asleep." She stood up and Fez quickly sank into her place beside me. "Steven, let's go for a walk. I still feel fat from dinner."

"This isn't a good time, Jackie," Hyde said evenly.

"Oh, come on." She put her hands on her hips. "We've done our watch. Fez and Michael can look after him now."

Hyde shrugged. "Good point. See you later, guys." He gave me a quick pat on the arm, then stood up and followed Jackie upstairs.

Fez was leaning against me with his head on my shoulder, wearing his wounded-puppy expression. "God, sit up," I said, shaking him off.

He glared at me and flopped over the other way, leaning against the sofa's arm. "You bring me down and then you cast me away," he muttered. "Bastard."

My eyes felt swollen and dry. I didn't think I could cry anymore, but I sure didn't want to talk with Fez right now. Kelso was watching us with his mouth hanging open a bit.

"Fuck it," I sighed, getting up to change the channel. "Let's watch TV."