Sorry this was a bit longer in coming, but I'm writing as I go now.
Believe it or not I started this fic in January! You folks have actually
been getting 2 or 3 little posts all together in one big one. I now wish
I'd spaced the updates a little bit farther apart than I did :) Those of
you who don't care for Anakin are going to love this post-I hope. Obidala
fans may not like this post, but give it a try and let me know what you
think, okay?
Anakin Skywalker absently counted the number of ceiling tiles in the palace infirmary for the thirty-sixth time in the last hour. Still three hundred and fifty-six. He sighed and turned his attention back to the semi-crowded waiting room.
To his left sat the queen talking to one of her many handmaidens. She flashed him a small tired smile as she noticed his regard. He smiled back and waited for her to look away before looking to his right where his mother sat, quietly talking to his master.
He hated being here. He was bored, tired, and hungry. Yet he could say none of that. How would it make him look? Three days he had been sitting here. Doing his best to look concerned and offering comfort whenever he could. Acting like he really cared was really getting to be quite exhausting. He had tried to care, knew that he should care, but he just couldn't.
There had been some excitement the day before at least. He preferred that over this endless boredom of waiting. He was quite sure he was the only one to find pleasure in the incident, but that really didn't matter.
Apparently Obi-Wan had gone into cardiac arrest and had to be pulled from the bacta. It was touch and go for a while, but late last night they had been able to put the knight back into the tank.
The drama of the whole scene had no effect on him at all, but it did provide an opportunity for him to comfort the distraught queen. She had embraced him tightly and allowed him to hold her hand for hours as they sat awaiting word from the healers.
When word finally came that Obi-Wan had once again been stabilized, Anakin did have the grace to feel ashamed of his disappointment. He KNEW his feelings were inappropriate, but he simply could not help them. He had tried to feel something for Obi-Wan. He should feel something-and not the something that he WAS feeling. Instead of being thankful to Obi-Wan for saving his life in the catacombs-he felt cheated.
He could have done something, if Obi-Wan had given him the chance. HE was the 'chosen one'. He could have saved his master and himself. He wasn't quite sure what he would have done, but given the opportunity he was sure that he would have come up with something. Instead, Obi-Wan had to play the proud martyr.
It didn't matter that he had been frozen with fear in the mere presence of the dark lord, or that he had almost wet his pants like a little crechling when that dark energy had focused its intensity directly at him. No, those details were filed so deeply in denial that they would never be recovered.
Anakin knew he should be grateful to Obi-Wan for freeing his mother. Instead, he was resentful. HE had wanted to be the one to free her. Obi- Wan had taken that away from him as well.
He had dreamt of the day he would go back for his mother. He would be the one to rescue her from the cruel hard life of a slave, and give her her hearts desire. Obi-Wan had stolen the honor that should have been his. Obi-Wan was responsible for the beautiful radiant glow that surrounded HIS mother.
He begrudged his mother none of her happiness. Force knows, she deserves it. His feelings were a bit uncertain however, regarding the news of her recent marriage and decision to remain on Tatooine. He had been her soul source of happiness for so long, that it was difficult for him to imagine sharing that with anyone.
He had listened long into the night as his mother happily regaled her path to love and freedom. Her affection for both Amidala and Obi-Wan was apparent in the warmth of her tone each time she spoke their names. Anakin could not stop the wild surge of jealousy that coursed through him as his mother had grasped Qui-Gon's hand; telling him what a handsome, charming young man Obi-Wan was, and how proud he must be.
Shmi had been oblivious to the discomfort she had caused his master. Even without the training bond, he could sense his master's distress and...shame? Anakin had also not missed the queen's quiet pleasure at his master's discomfort, further fanning the flames of his jealousy towards the knight.
Perhaps the hardest of all for him to deal with the last three days had been the endless sharing of 'Obi-tales' as he'd termed them. It seemed everyone had one to tell. Anakin would have had to be blind to miss the admiration and loyalty those present held for the knight. And apparently his queen was no different. He had sat quietly next to her; outwardly polite and curious as she recounted a few 'Obi-tales' of her own, inwardly his stomach had been twisting itself into tiny little knots.
He did not want to hear about the palace picnic where Obi-Wan had levitated his sunbathing queen from a rock and dropped her unsuspectingly into the icy depths of her favorite swimming hole. He did not want to hear about their late night talks and popcorn fights after watching the latest holo vid, or their midnight raids to the palace kitchen. And he most certainly did not want to hear about the numerous times HIS queen had fallen asleep on Obi-Wan's shoulder-only to have the knight carry her back to her room and safely deposit her in her own bed.
He did not want to hear these things because it implied a closeness and intimacy between the two that he did not want to acknowledge. But he could deny it no longer. All that he wanted, dreamed of, and hoped for...Obi-Wan Kenobi already had. And he hated the knight for it. He was second best to those he loved the most. His master, his mother, his queen. He could not allow that to continue.
~ I should have taken care of him when I had the chance. ~ He thought.
Anakin remained in his seat, silently seething. Three days of his life wasted as he sat here pretending to care if Obi-Wan lived or died. The 'Obi-tales' continued around him and he was unconscious of his face beginning to heat with three days worth of pent up hostility. He was so sick of hearing about Obi-Wan Kenobi. His anger was growing in strength and he allowed it no outlet. It felt too good. He coveted it, steadfastly refusing to release it into the force.
He was thankful for the severed training bond at the moment. He could feel his anger in peace and not be taken to task on it. He was too practiced in his shielding to let his master detect it through the force. Not that he would have noticed anyways. Obi-Wan seemed to be his only concern the past few days.
Anakin was so caught up in his mental tantrum that he failed to notice his mothers approach. Shmi had picked up on her son's distress and came to offer comfort. Unfortunately she mistook his distress as concern for Obi- Wan. She was unprepared for Anakin's reaction to her praise of Obi-Wan's strength and resilience.
"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! I am sick of hearing about Obi-Wan!"
Anakin froze at the resulting silence of his outburst.
~ Oh Force! Tell me I didn't say that out loud. ~
A quick horrified look at the shocked gaping faces surrounding him confirmed that he had. It seemed he was not the only one frozen in shock. He dared not even look in the direction of the queen.
It appeared no one knew what to say, so no one said anything. Just when it looked as if his master had shaken off the shock and was ready to address him, a rhythmic tapping broke the silence. Actually it was more of a tap.grunt.tap.grunt.. tap..grunt. It got progressively louder until the door to the waiting room slid open to reveal a rather pasty looking Master Yoda.
"Made it I did. In one piece, I'm not sure. Hate flying I do" Said with a small shake of the head.
Amidala was the first to recover from the duel shocks. Sliding easily back into the role of a diplomat she rose from her seat and approached the tiny master. Her lack of formal attire and make-up did nothing to diminish her regal presence.
"Master Yoda, I was unaware of your visit. I apologize for the lack of protocol.."
"Unofficial my visit, your highness. No need for formalities. Here for young Obi-Wan, I am."
Shmi had reached for Anakin, eyes full of questions as Master Yoda made his way to a comfortable seat and used the force to lift himself into it. She could sense her son's turmoil, but was at a loss as to what had caused it.
Anakin, for his part, let his mother pull him to her; wishing he could hide in her embrace, but knowing he could not. He had just made a huge mistake, a stupid mistake. He was already backpedaling in his mind, trying to figure a way out of it.
He had never been so glad to see Master Yoda before in his life, it offered the perfect diversion. He knew he would have to answer for his little outburst, but now he had time to come up with something. Obviously, the truth was out of the question.
Anakin watched as Amidala seated herself next to Master Yoda. He was slightly surprised at the affection the old master was projecting for the young queen, and there was an ease to their commentary that led him to believe that they were familiar with one another. He listened closely as the two conversed.
"He is holding his own, Master Yoda. The healers are optimistic." Amidala's voice was soft and hopeful.
"Fine he will be. Not too worry, young one. Fighter our Obi-Wan is. Done fighting he is not." As he spoke yoda lay one clawed hand upon the queens, and again Anakin was surprised, this time by the gentleness in the little master's voice.
Amidala seemed to relax at Yoda's words, as was most likely intended. When Yoda continued however, Anakin could not stop the feeling of dread that moved into the pit of his stomach. The little troll was up to something, and he was pretty sure he wasn't going to like it.
"Surprise I have for you, young one." Yoda's tone was now mischievous as he addressed the queen.
Amidala looked pleasantly confused. "A surprise, what.." She looked over Master Yoda's shoulder just as another figure stepped into the waiting room.
Anakin's heart sank as Amidala locked eyes with her 'surprise'. He could see as well as feel her shocked disbelief as she stood to face her visitor. The weight of the world seemed to lift from her shoulders, and her face fairly beamed with a joy and happiness that was contagious. The only one other than himself who appeared confused by this reunion was his master.
He saw no traces of the queen, only the girl within, as she rushed forward and launched herself into waiting arms. The name that escaped her lips,
"Garen."
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Qui-Gon watched the scene before him with a small amount of confusion. He had recognized Knight Muln as soon as the young man had entered the waiting area. He had been a long time friend of Obi-Wan's since their days as initiates. He had not known the young man had been knighted however. His confusion over Anakin's outburst was put on hold as the emotions in the small area suddenly became charged with something else.
Tall and lean, the knight was easily three inches taller than his Obi-Wan. The infamous padawan cut had grown out some, but was still kept short. The dark brown hair was thick and wavy and held the promise of curls-- if the knight were to allow it.
His surprise evident, Qui-Gon watched as Queen Amidala threw herself into the knight's arms. It was the first time he'd seen such an impulsive gesture on her part. She was lifted from her feet as the knight, eyes now closed, tightly embraced her. The two seemed oblivious to everyone else in the room.
Qui-Gon could sense warm approval and vicarious happiness radiating from others present to witness the reunion. A quick look to Yoda, showed the little master looking extremely pleased with himself. Obviously there was more going on here than he was aware of. The exact nature of their relationship became apparent as the queen and the knight reluctantly broke the embrace.
Suddenly self-conscious of her appearance, Amidala moved to brush a stray lock of hair away from her face. Qui-Gon watched as Garen reached for her hand with a knowing smile and pulled it to his lips for a gentle kiss. It was a sweet reassurance, and a charmingly shy smile lit the young queen's face.
Qui-Gon did not see the daggers his padawan eyed the knight with or the knowing look that Master Yoda leveled upon the young boy. It wasn't until he felt his gaze was becoming intrusive that the master averted his eyes.
Qui-Gon looked to Anakin, trying to gauge the boy's emotional state. It was hard to get an accurate reading without the training bond to rely on. He obviously needed to have a long talk with his padawan. Now was not the time, or the place however. He gave the boy an inscrutable look, as he passed on his way to join Master Yoda.
"I'm surprised to see you here, master." Qui-Gon seated himself opposite Yoda. Surprise was somewhat of an understatement. His former masters dislike of flying was legendary. Qui-Gon could not remember Yoda leaving the confines of the temple since before he himself had been knighted.
"Full of surprises I am," Yoda said with his characteristic ominence. "Have one for you and your padawan as well." Yoda let his eyes slide to Anakin who sat watching them, doing his best to look repentant.
"Give you yours now I will." He said as his eyes returned to Qui-Gon. " Young Skywalker's can wait."
Qui-Gon watched as Yoda pulled a worn looking pouch from his little robe. It was handed to him reverently as the master spoke again, "Meant to have this you were, too long you have waited."
Qui-Gon looked questioningly at his master before opening the pouch. He gasped as he dumped the contents into his hand. He was speechless, and overwhelmed with emotion as he ran the silky length of the ginger braid between his fingers. His breath hitched slightly as he stopped and touched each bead of achievement adorning the braid. His eyes were watering as he once again looked to his master. There were no words to express how grateful he was.
Anakin sat speechless as well, eyes widened in shock. Master Yoda did not look at him, and that somehow was worse than the alternative.
"Now, rest I must. Trying flight I had" The last was said with a mock glare to Knight Muln, who for his part looked very contrite.
"Apologies again, Master Yoda. I was unaware of your aversion to flight sickness." Garen stood behind Amidala, his arms wrapped securely about her waist.
"Hurry you were in, no harm done." Yoda said as he now affectionately eyed the two. "Spare tunic I always carry."
Qui-Gon heard none of this. He sat lost in his thoughts, reverently holding the symbol of his apprenticeship with Obi-Wan.
To Be Continued................
A/N Again, I apologize if this was too short. I'm striving for quality, not necessarily quantity with each post :) Hope you liked.
Anakin Skywalker absently counted the number of ceiling tiles in the palace infirmary for the thirty-sixth time in the last hour. Still three hundred and fifty-six. He sighed and turned his attention back to the semi-crowded waiting room.
To his left sat the queen talking to one of her many handmaidens. She flashed him a small tired smile as she noticed his regard. He smiled back and waited for her to look away before looking to his right where his mother sat, quietly talking to his master.
He hated being here. He was bored, tired, and hungry. Yet he could say none of that. How would it make him look? Three days he had been sitting here. Doing his best to look concerned and offering comfort whenever he could. Acting like he really cared was really getting to be quite exhausting. He had tried to care, knew that he should care, but he just couldn't.
There had been some excitement the day before at least. He preferred that over this endless boredom of waiting. He was quite sure he was the only one to find pleasure in the incident, but that really didn't matter.
Apparently Obi-Wan had gone into cardiac arrest and had to be pulled from the bacta. It was touch and go for a while, but late last night they had been able to put the knight back into the tank.
The drama of the whole scene had no effect on him at all, but it did provide an opportunity for him to comfort the distraught queen. She had embraced him tightly and allowed him to hold her hand for hours as they sat awaiting word from the healers.
When word finally came that Obi-Wan had once again been stabilized, Anakin did have the grace to feel ashamed of his disappointment. He KNEW his feelings were inappropriate, but he simply could not help them. He had tried to feel something for Obi-Wan. He should feel something-and not the something that he WAS feeling. Instead of being thankful to Obi-Wan for saving his life in the catacombs-he felt cheated.
He could have done something, if Obi-Wan had given him the chance. HE was the 'chosen one'. He could have saved his master and himself. He wasn't quite sure what he would have done, but given the opportunity he was sure that he would have come up with something. Instead, Obi-Wan had to play the proud martyr.
It didn't matter that he had been frozen with fear in the mere presence of the dark lord, or that he had almost wet his pants like a little crechling when that dark energy had focused its intensity directly at him. No, those details were filed so deeply in denial that they would never be recovered.
Anakin knew he should be grateful to Obi-Wan for freeing his mother. Instead, he was resentful. HE had wanted to be the one to free her. Obi- Wan had taken that away from him as well.
He had dreamt of the day he would go back for his mother. He would be the one to rescue her from the cruel hard life of a slave, and give her her hearts desire. Obi-Wan had stolen the honor that should have been his. Obi-Wan was responsible for the beautiful radiant glow that surrounded HIS mother.
He begrudged his mother none of her happiness. Force knows, she deserves it. His feelings were a bit uncertain however, regarding the news of her recent marriage and decision to remain on Tatooine. He had been her soul source of happiness for so long, that it was difficult for him to imagine sharing that with anyone.
He had listened long into the night as his mother happily regaled her path to love and freedom. Her affection for both Amidala and Obi-Wan was apparent in the warmth of her tone each time she spoke their names. Anakin could not stop the wild surge of jealousy that coursed through him as his mother had grasped Qui-Gon's hand; telling him what a handsome, charming young man Obi-Wan was, and how proud he must be.
Shmi had been oblivious to the discomfort she had caused his master. Even without the training bond, he could sense his master's distress and...shame? Anakin had also not missed the queen's quiet pleasure at his master's discomfort, further fanning the flames of his jealousy towards the knight.
Perhaps the hardest of all for him to deal with the last three days had been the endless sharing of 'Obi-tales' as he'd termed them. It seemed everyone had one to tell. Anakin would have had to be blind to miss the admiration and loyalty those present held for the knight. And apparently his queen was no different. He had sat quietly next to her; outwardly polite and curious as she recounted a few 'Obi-tales' of her own, inwardly his stomach had been twisting itself into tiny little knots.
He did not want to hear about the palace picnic where Obi-Wan had levitated his sunbathing queen from a rock and dropped her unsuspectingly into the icy depths of her favorite swimming hole. He did not want to hear about their late night talks and popcorn fights after watching the latest holo vid, or their midnight raids to the palace kitchen. And he most certainly did not want to hear about the numerous times HIS queen had fallen asleep on Obi-Wan's shoulder-only to have the knight carry her back to her room and safely deposit her in her own bed.
He did not want to hear these things because it implied a closeness and intimacy between the two that he did not want to acknowledge. But he could deny it no longer. All that he wanted, dreamed of, and hoped for...Obi-Wan Kenobi already had. And he hated the knight for it. He was second best to those he loved the most. His master, his mother, his queen. He could not allow that to continue.
~ I should have taken care of him when I had the chance. ~ He thought.
Anakin remained in his seat, silently seething. Three days of his life wasted as he sat here pretending to care if Obi-Wan lived or died. The 'Obi-tales' continued around him and he was unconscious of his face beginning to heat with three days worth of pent up hostility. He was so sick of hearing about Obi-Wan Kenobi. His anger was growing in strength and he allowed it no outlet. It felt too good. He coveted it, steadfastly refusing to release it into the force.
He was thankful for the severed training bond at the moment. He could feel his anger in peace and not be taken to task on it. He was too practiced in his shielding to let his master detect it through the force. Not that he would have noticed anyways. Obi-Wan seemed to be his only concern the past few days.
Anakin was so caught up in his mental tantrum that he failed to notice his mothers approach. Shmi had picked up on her son's distress and came to offer comfort. Unfortunately she mistook his distress as concern for Obi- Wan. She was unprepared for Anakin's reaction to her praise of Obi-Wan's strength and resilience.
"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! I am sick of hearing about Obi-Wan!"
Anakin froze at the resulting silence of his outburst.
~ Oh Force! Tell me I didn't say that out loud. ~
A quick horrified look at the shocked gaping faces surrounding him confirmed that he had. It seemed he was not the only one frozen in shock. He dared not even look in the direction of the queen.
It appeared no one knew what to say, so no one said anything. Just when it looked as if his master had shaken off the shock and was ready to address him, a rhythmic tapping broke the silence. Actually it was more of a tap.grunt.tap.grunt.. tap..grunt. It got progressively louder until the door to the waiting room slid open to reveal a rather pasty looking Master Yoda.
"Made it I did. In one piece, I'm not sure. Hate flying I do" Said with a small shake of the head.
Amidala was the first to recover from the duel shocks. Sliding easily back into the role of a diplomat she rose from her seat and approached the tiny master. Her lack of formal attire and make-up did nothing to diminish her regal presence.
"Master Yoda, I was unaware of your visit. I apologize for the lack of protocol.."
"Unofficial my visit, your highness. No need for formalities. Here for young Obi-Wan, I am."
Shmi had reached for Anakin, eyes full of questions as Master Yoda made his way to a comfortable seat and used the force to lift himself into it. She could sense her son's turmoil, but was at a loss as to what had caused it.
Anakin, for his part, let his mother pull him to her; wishing he could hide in her embrace, but knowing he could not. He had just made a huge mistake, a stupid mistake. He was already backpedaling in his mind, trying to figure a way out of it.
He had never been so glad to see Master Yoda before in his life, it offered the perfect diversion. He knew he would have to answer for his little outburst, but now he had time to come up with something. Obviously, the truth was out of the question.
Anakin watched as Amidala seated herself next to Master Yoda. He was slightly surprised at the affection the old master was projecting for the young queen, and there was an ease to their commentary that led him to believe that they were familiar with one another. He listened closely as the two conversed.
"He is holding his own, Master Yoda. The healers are optimistic." Amidala's voice was soft and hopeful.
"Fine he will be. Not too worry, young one. Fighter our Obi-Wan is. Done fighting he is not." As he spoke yoda lay one clawed hand upon the queens, and again Anakin was surprised, this time by the gentleness in the little master's voice.
Amidala seemed to relax at Yoda's words, as was most likely intended. When Yoda continued however, Anakin could not stop the feeling of dread that moved into the pit of his stomach. The little troll was up to something, and he was pretty sure he wasn't going to like it.
"Surprise I have for you, young one." Yoda's tone was now mischievous as he addressed the queen.
Amidala looked pleasantly confused. "A surprise, what.." She looked over Master Yoda's shoulder just as another figure stepped into the waiting room.
Anakin's heart sank as Amidala locked eyes with her 'surprise'. He could see as well as feel her shocked disbelief as she stood to face her visitor. The weight of the world seemed to lift from her shoulders, and her face fairly beamed with a joy and happiness that was contagious. The only one other than himself who appeared confused by this reunion was his master.
He saw no traces of the queen, only the girl within, as she rushed forward and launched herself into waiting arms. The name that escaped her lips,
"Garen."
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Qui-Gon watched the scene before him with a small amount of confusion. He had recognized Knight Muln as soon as the young man had entered the waiting area. He had been a long time friend of Obi-Wan's since their days as initiates. He had not known the young man had been knighted however. His confusion over Anakin's outburst was put on hold as the emotions in the small area suddenly became charged with something else.
Tall and lean, the knight was easily three inches taller than his Obi-Wan. The infamous padawan cut had grown out some, but was still kept short. The dark brown hair was thick and wavy and held the promise of curls-- if the knight were to allow it.
His surprise evident, Qui-Gon watched as Queen Amidala threw herself into the knight's arms. It was the first time he'd seen such an impulsive gesture on her part. She was lifted from her feet as the knight, eyes now closed, tightly embraced her. The two seemed oblivious to everyone else in the room.
Qui-Gon could sense warm approval and vicarious happiness radiating from others present to witness the reunion. A quick look to Yoda, showed the little master looking extremely pleased with himself. Obviously there was more going on here than he was aware of. The exact nature of their relationship became apparent as the queen and the knight reluctantly broke the embrace.
Suddenly self-conscious of her appearance, Amidala moved to brush a stray lock of hair away from her face. Qui-Gon watched as Garen reached for her hand with a knowing smile and pulled it to his lips for a gentle kiss. It was a sweet reassurance, and a charmingly shy smile lit the young queen's face.
Qui-Gon did not see the daggers his padawan eyed the knight with or the knowing look that Master Yoda leveled upon the young boy. It wasn't until he felt his gaze was becoming intrusive that the master averted his eyes.
Qui-Gon looked to Anakin, trying to gauge the boy's emotional state. It was hard to get an accurate reading without the training bond to rely on. He obviously needed to have a long talk with his padawan. Now was not the time, or the place however. He gave the boy an inscrutable look, as he passed on his way to join Master Yoda.
"I'm surprised to see you here, master." Qui-Gon seated himself opposite Yoda. Surprise was somewhat of an understatement. His former masters dislike of flying was legendary. Qui-Gon could not remember Yoda leaving the confines of the temple since before he himself had been knighted.
"Full of surprises I am," Yoda said with his characteristic ominence. "Have one for you and your padawan as well." Yoda let his eyes slide to Anakin who sat watching them, doing his best to look repentant.
"Give you yours now I will." He said as his eyes returned to Qui-Gon. " Young Skywalker's can wait."
Qui-Gon watched as Yoda pulled a worn looking pouch from his little robe. It was handed to him reverently as the master spoke again, "Meant to have this you were, too long you have waited."
Qui-Gon looked questioningly at his master before opening the pouch. He gasped as he dumped the contents into his hand. He was speechless, and overwhelmed with emotion as he ran the silky length of the ginger braid between his fingers. His breath hitched slightly as he stopped and touched each bead of achievement adorning the braid. His eyes were watering as he once again looked to his master. There were no words to express how grateful he was.
Anakin sat speechless as well, eyes widened in shock. Master Yoda did not look at him, and that somehow was worse than the alternative.
"Now, rest I must. Trying flight I had" The last was said with a mock glare to Knight Muln, who for his part looked very contrite.
"Apologies again, Master Yoda. I was unaware of your aversion to flight sickness." Garen stood behind Amidala, his arms wrapped securely about her waist.
"Hurry you were in, no harm done." Yoda said as he now affectionately eyed the two. "Spare tunic I always carry."
Qui-Gon heard none of this. He sat lost in his thoughts, reverently holding the symbol of his apprenticeship with Obi-Wan.
To Be Continued................
A/N Again, I apologize if this was too short. I'm striving for quality, not necessarily quantity with each post :) Hope you liked.