Qui-Gon's hand went to the hilt of his lightsaber, as did Master Yoda's. The only movement he detected in the after moments of shock was the frustrated twitch of Garen's hand where his saber should have been, and the slight waver of said saber as the violet blade hovered precariously close to the Supreme Chancellors exposed throat. Only the sound of Obi-Wan's ragged breathing broke the silence of the room.
Wisely, Chancellor Palpatine made no movements, his body language conveying his complete surrender to the mad man above him. His expression, to Qui- Gon, seemed to alternate between surprise, fear, and something he was hard pressed to define. Respect? Hatred? Whatever it was, it was gone before he was really sure he had seen it at all.
Qui-Gon removed his hand from the hilt of his saber, deciding on possible courses of action. He could sense Obi-Wan's emotions, as could the other force sensitives in the room. The knight's shields were only partially raised, and he seemed to be struggling to keep them at that level. Obi-Wan was broadcasting only the most basic of emotions - to survive and to protect.
It was clear to Qui-Gon, that though Obi-Wan was physically here with him, mentally he was elsewhere - - the catacombs most likely. The knight's eyes were wild and dangerous. Clearly, he considered the man pinned beneath him a threat. A threat to himself and those he was trying to protect.
Garen stood behind the knight, a few feet separating him from Obi-Wan. Amidala stood next to him, her hand tightly gripping his forearm. The look of shock on her face would have been comical - - under any other circumstances. Master Yoda was on the other side of the bed that Obi-Wan had so abruptly vacated.
Qui-Gon cast a quick glance towards the two other jedi. Silent consent was given. He would be the one to approach the confused knight. He moved slowly, his movements cautious and purposeful, he did not wish to startle the young man. When he was within a reasonable distance, close but not too close, Qui-Gon went to his knees, thinking it best to be at eye level.
Obi-Wan's eyes were fixed on those of the Chancellor, his gaze unblinking and filled with deadly intent. Qui-Gon was slightly taken aback by the intensity in those jeweled eyes. He had no doubt that if he did not act quickly, that his former padawan would indeed slit the throat before him.
"Obi-Wan?" His voice was soft and soothing.
No response.
"Obi-Wan. You are safe. Do you understand me?" Qui-Gon looked to his Obi- Wan's face for any sign of understanding or recognition.
There was none. If anything the young man only gripped the swiped saber tighter. After a brief moment of hesitation, Qui-Gon decided to switch tactics. He was going on instinct alone and he prayed that this was the right way to go.
"Padawan," It was said firmly and commanded immediate attention. When there was the briefest flicker of recognition, Qui-Gon continued.
"Look at me when I speak to you, Padawan." He spoke as a master, as a teacher. There was none of the warmth he felt for the young man in his tone. It was a tone he had often used during Obi-Wan's apprenticeship. He could not help but inwardly wince at the trace of harshness he heard in his own voice.
It was worth it however. A slight wrinkle was now appearing between ginger brows. Confusion was setting in, in both the young man's expression and the Force currents surrounding him. Qui-Gon noticed that the hand holding the saber trembled with uncertainty.
Now that he had the knight's attention, Qui-Gon softened his voice and continued.
"You are safe. There is no danger here." It was said softly and matter-of- factly. The confused look on Obi-Wan's face was heartbreaking, and when Qui-Gon spoke again he allowed all the tenderness and love he felt for the young man to permeate his words.
"Obi-Wan, look at me. Please?"
Stormy gray eyes hesitantly rose to meet his. There was some recognition there, but still a fair amount of confusion. Through the force Qui-Gon could tell that Obi-Wan had recognized him, but was still unsure of where he was or what he was doing.
Qui-Gon continued speaking in low soothing tones.
"You are safe. Do you understand me?"
When Obi-Wan looked down at the Chancellor, Qui-Gon noted the struggle in the young man's face. Obi-Wan was trying so hard to comprehend where he actually was in correlation to what his mind was telling him. Eventually, Qui-Gon could see slow recognition beginning to dawn.
"Power down the saber, Obi-Wan."
With the barest of hesitations, Obi-Wan did as he was told. When he made no other movement, Qui-Gon spoke again, drawing his attention back to him.
"Give it to me, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan looked to him from beneath lowered lashes. There was uncertainty there, but it was warring with something else. Through the confusion that still held the knight in it's grasp, one thing was being broadcast loud and clear. Obi-Wan was convinced that he had disappointed his master once again.
Because of Obi-Wan's weakened shields; he was able to hold nothing back. Qui-Gon was both surprised and troubled by the sorrowful resignation he sensed in Obi-Wan's emotions. It was as if the boy believed that he always had been and always would be a disappointment to his master.
"No. Oh, no. You've done nothing wrong, my Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon quickly moved forward to offer comfort and reassurance.
He was horrified when Obi-Wan violently flinched from him, rose to his feet and began to back away - the deactivated saber falling from his grasp and clattering to the floor.
Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan, in his haste to get away from him, collided with Knight Muln. Garen caught him just as both his knees and adrenaline gave out and he collapsed. Gently, he settled Obi-Wan to the floor, following him down to cushion his landing.
When Qui-Gon stood, moving forward in concern, he was stopped cold by the alarm that flared in eyes that were now alternating depths of emerald and sapphire. Obi-Wan was still not completely in the moment, but apparently he did sense that the arms that held him meant no harm. He visibly relaxed when Qui-Gon withdrew and resumed his kneeling position. No one spoke or made any movements, giving the knight a chance to adjust.
Chancellor Palpatine had risen to his elbows, but make no further attempt to get up. He was all but forgotten, the concern of everyone in the room focused on the distraught knight. Amidala crouched worriedly next to Garen and Obi-Wan, close enough to touch, but quite obviously fighting the urge.
Obi-Wan's eyes darted from person to person, falling more often than not on Qui-Gon. Yet just when the knight's breathing was once again returning to normal, Healer Okara entered carrying a hypo-spray. Apparently she had heard the commotion and poked her head in long enough to ascertain the situation. She had quickly gone to retrieve a sedative.
It was clear to Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan did not see the Healer, only the hypo- spray she held. His eyes were riveted to it. The panic grew quickly and he now began to struggle against the arms that held him. Garen held him easily, as there was no real strength behind the struggle – exhaustion evident in every line of the weary, barely recovered body.
Qui-Gon moved to intercept the healer, both of them inadvertently advancing towards the knight. Both were surprised, to say the least, when they collided with an invisible Force Wall.
Qui-Gon looked to Garen who held his right arm extended towards him, palm outward, effectively stopping him and the Healer from coming any closer. Leaning forward, Garen's lips grazed Obi-Wan's ear in a soft soothing whisper.
"Sleep."
The effect was immediate. Obi-Wan's head lolled back against Garen's shoulder, his entire body relaxing in Force-induced sleep. Garen withdrew his arm, and with it, the wall keeping Qui-Gon at bay.
The glare Qui-Gon favored the knight with softened as he realized the young man was only trying to protect his best friend. While it didn't set well that it was he that Garen was protecting Obi-Wan from – he easily understood the motive behind it.
Moving closer, he knelt next to his unconscious padawan. Garen regarded him warily, still holding Obi-Wan within his arms, but the master's focus was for Obi-Wan alone. He reached for the dimpled chin and turned the young face to him, caressing the skin beneath his fingers. Force, he'd missed having this child in his life. When he reached to stroke the long auburn locks away from the youth's face, his heart constricted at the small sound of distress the knight made. Even in sleep, Obi-Wan tried to withdraw from him – moving restlessly within Garen's embrace.
Qui-Gon let his hand fall away. For nothing would he add to the suffering that Obi-Wan had endured. There would be time in the coming days to make his amends. Qui-Gon met Garen's gaze, and was surprised to see a small amount of sympathy there. Together, they lifted the knight and placed him back in his bed, settling him as comfortably as possible.
Immediately, Healer Okara shooed everyone aside, intent on checking the knight's vitals. But an awkward clearing of the throat brought everyone's attention back to Chancellor Palpatine.
He had risen and was straightening his robes as the Healer continued her examination. It was clear that no one wanted to divert their attention from Obi-Wan, yet simple diplomacy could not be ignored - - especially where the Supreme Chancellor was concerned.
It was Master Yoda who spoke on Obi-Wan's behalf.
"Terrible ordeal he has been through, Chancellor. Take offense at his actions, I hope you do not."
"Oh, no. No. No. Of course not." The chancellor seemed surprised at the insinuation.
"I can only imagine what the poor lad has been through." He gave Obi-Wan a sympathetic look before returning his attention to Master Yoda.
"He will be in my prayers, to be sure. I hope you will keep me apprised of his condition."
Yoda's ears perked at that remark, his surprise evident. "As you wish, chancellor."
"Such a brave young knight is worthy of recognition." Palpatine said in response to Yoda's surprise. "I look forward to following his career with great interest."
It was said genuinely, yet the 3 conscious jedi in the room could not explain the dark sense of foreboding that the statement brought forth. Before it could be analyzed any further, it was gone. And so was the chancellor, with a final farewell to the Jedi and the Queen.
"All right, I need this room cleared now." Said Healer Okara. At the disgruntled looks she received she felt the need to repeat the word, "NOW."
Slowly the room's occupants began making their way to the door, casting concerned glances back towards the once again peacefully sleeping knight. All but one, that is. Master Yoda did not move to leave or to vacate his seat. When Qui-Gon turned a questioning eye to him, he spoke.
"Leave I will not, until answers I receive."
Healer Okara gave him a sharp look, but said nothing. She did not know that the little master was not referring to her. It was clear to Qui-Gon that Yoda was going to look to the knight before him for the answers he sought. Qui-Gon had mixed feelings about this, but said nothing. He trusted Master Yoda. He spared a final look to his beautiful Obi-Wan, and left him in the capable hands of his former master.XIXI
It was hours before Yoda joined Qui-Gon in the waiting room. Garen and Amidala had gone to get something to eat, leaving strict instructions that they be contacted should Obi-Wan's condition change in the slightest.
Long acquainted with Master Yoda, Qui-Gon could tell by the almost imperceptible droop in his master's ears that the news was not good. He waited as patiently as possible for the tiny master to approach him and comfortably seat himself.
"What did you find out?" Qui-Gon asked, his patience thinning when Yoda said nothing.
"Want to know, you may not." Said Yoda. Qui-Gon could sense sadness emanating from his former master, as well as a faint echo of . . . . . anger? Yes, anger. It was well concealed, but unmistakable.
This did not set well with Qui-Gon at all. The cold feeling coiling in the pit of his stomach finally made itself known. Oh, he was sure now. He was not going to like this at all. Stifling his sudden urge to run, Qui-Gon pressed on. He had to endure this, for Obi-Wan.
"Enter his mind, I did." Yoda said. "Fought me, he did. Confused still, he was. Left I did, before more damage was caused."
"So you learned nothing?" Qui-Gon asked, knowing that there was more.
"Learned enough, I did. Brief look only, I had. Violated his mind, the Sith did."
Yoda paused before continuing. That in it self was hard for Qui-Gon to hear, but what Yoda said next, tore his heart wide open.
"Used you, the Sith did." At Qui-Gon's horrified expression Yoda could only nod. "Always insecure of his place with you, he was. Preyed on those insecurities, the Sith did." Yoda shook his head sadly.
Qui-Gon could not speak. The ability had left him for the moment. Complete and utter sorrow was slowly consuming him. All he could do was continue to listen in horror.
"Twisted, his memories of you are. Tried to turn him against you, the Sith did. Used the darkness to promise power and retribution. But aware of one thing, the Sith was not."
At Qui-Gon's questioning look, as he was still unable to speak, Yoda continued. "Though always considered himself unworthy of you . . . . . . . love you like no other, he does."
Qui-Gon could not swallow around the lump that had formed in his throat. What had he done to deserve such undying loyalty and love? He was such a fool. Obi-Wan was the most important person in his life, and the one that he had caused the most pain. The sorrowful irony of that thought finally broke the dam keeping his tears at bay. He paid them no mind as they ran silently down his face.
"Knew what the Sith was doing, he did. Fight it, he could not. Still, refused to turn he did. Loved you too much, do that to you he would not."
A hitch in Qui-Gon's breathing, brought Yoda's full attention to him. Yoda looked at him compassionately. "Time for you to make things right, it is. Doubt your feelings for him, he should not." A long pause. "Owe him this, you do. Die for you, he would . . . . . and almost did."
"What do you mean?" Qui-Gon's voice was rough with his emotions.
"Submit to the Sith to save you, he did. When thought you safe, turned on him he did. Kill the Sith, or die trying was his intention. Felt you coming, he did. Pushed you back, before harmed you could be. Nearly cost him his life, that distraction did."
"Oh Force." Qui-Gon had never felt so completely and utterly unworthy in his entire life. "I don't deserve him, I really don't."
"Humph. Debatable that is. But no other will he have. Feel complete without you, he does not. Needs his anchor back, he does."
Qui-Gon looked up as Garen and Amidala quickly entered the room. The worried look on their faces concerned him. He was about to ask what was wrong when Healer Okara approached them.
"He's awake your highness, and fully with us this time." She said with a smile to ease their worries. "He's asked to see you and Knight Muln. He is still very tired however, and I would ask that you make it a short visit."
"Of course," Amidala said happily. Qui-Gon had a feeling she would have agreed to anything at that moment. He watched enviously as the two made their way to Obi-Wan's room.
XIXIObi-Wan's eyes were closed when they entered the room. Garen and Amidala exchanged a quick glance, hoping they hadn't missed their opportunity. They were pleasantly surprised when Obi-Wan opened his eyes as Amidala took his hand. His smile was sleepy, but heartfelt and when he spoke his voice was dreamy and soft.
"Dala."
She squeezed his hand tighter and smiled, but did not speak. She was so happy that she was on the verge of tears. She did not want to expose him to that at the moment; she wanted to be strong for him.
"Stronger than you know," he said knowingly, too tired to make a complete sentence. She gave him an indulgent look, willing to overlook his reading of her thoughts, as he knew she would - - this time.
Garen, who had stood back to allow a moment between the two, finally stepped forward to greet his long time friend. He watched as Obi-Wan's eyes slowly met his, smiling anew. Garen was privy to some of the information surrounding his friend's disappearance, but he knew there was a lot more than what he had been told. They would speak of it soon, but not today. Today he was just glad that his best friend was alive and well.
Garen leaned down slightly, so that he wasn't towering over the knight. "You really scared us this time, buddy. That was a hell of a way to get me back here, don't you think?" The latter was said teasingly with a slight smile.
"Worked, didn't it?" Obi-Wan said with a smile of his own. "The things I do to bring you two together." It was a private joke between the three. There were numerous failed attempts to bring Garen and Amidala together after their first meeting. Obi-Wan had recognized the sparks between the two immediately, and designated himself matchmaker. It wasn't until he had enlisted Master Yoda's help however, that things really began to develop. Knight Muln suddenly found himself on a 2-week leave with an open invitation to Naboo, which he readily accepted at the behest of one meddling little troll.
The three chatted quietly until it was apparent that Obi-Wan literally had to fight to keep his eyes open. Amidala still held his hand, not wanting to let him go. When his eyes remained closed, she thought he had finally fallen back asleep. She was surprised when the quiet question broke the silence.
"He's really here isn't he?" His eyes remained closed.
Garen and Amidala exchanged looks, knowing of course to whom Obi-Wan was referring.
"Yes, he is." Amidala said softly.
Obi-Wan said nothing but his breathing seemed to increase slightly.
"He's been waiting to see you." Garen said gently.
"I can't" Obi-Wan said after a moment, his voice cracking slightly. He collected himself before speaking again. "Not yet."
"Shhhhh, you don't have to do anything until you're ready." Garen said placing a hand on Obi-Wan's head, brushing the ginger hair out of eyes that were still tightly closed.
He sent soothing impulses to his friend, calming the rapidly rising blood pressure and heartbeat. He felt Obi-Wan relax again and was relieved when he received a small smile of gratitude. Garen looked to Amidala, silently requesting they take their leave so Obi-Wan could rest. Reluctantly, she moved away, only to be stopped by the firm grip of the hand she still held.
Obi-Wan was regarding her from beneath lowered lashes, a silent request in his eyes. Understanding, Garen kissed her free hand to acknowledge his consent and offered a gentle smile to his best friend before leaving.
Amidala moved back to the bed and the hand that held hers. Without speaking she gingerly climbed into the bed next to Obi-Wan with exaggerated care. She felt his arm go around her as she laid her head upon his shoulder. She was asleep within minutes, as was he.
To Be Continued . . . . . . . . . . . .
(Aug 14, 2005 – Chapter Edited. Lots of grammatical corrections – but some to the text as well. They will be noticeable to you regular readers )
--Shan