Season 1, Episode 1
Peter Griffin a nudist?
By John365 and I don't own anything from the creators of family guy.
Note: I am the biggest family guy fan you will ever hear from.
Scene one
Peter and Brian are on the floor arm wrestling. Brian is beating Peter and with a flick of his wrist he got Peter's arm down.
Peter: Hey that's no fair you cheated.
Brian: Peter, there is no way to cheat in arm wrestling.
Peter: I saw you cheat, and as God as my witness I will make sure you don't get away with this.
Peter comes in with the chainsaw and starts it up.
Brian. He really has to deal with losing.
Theme song then comes on.
Scene 2
Peter is looking in the fridge.
Peter: Hey Lois you got any beer in the house?
Lois: I think you drank the last three six pack's of beer last night. Why don't you go and get some with Chris.
Peter: All right just as long as he doesn't want to go on the airplane ride. Because that's my favorite, he can go on the pony.
Scene 3
Peter and Chris are in the store, and they see Dotty and Dave Campbell. (The nudist)
Peter: Oh hey how you guys doing?
Dave: Were doing well. How are you two doing?
Peter: Oh, were great.
Peter stares at Dave and Dotty. The nude part is blocked out from the cash register and Peter's head.
Peter: Um... I have a question about your appearance. Dotty: You can ask us anything.
Peter: Is it weird being naked all the time?
Dave: Heaven's no it's so free and relaxing.
Peter: But don't you worry about being made fun of?
Dotty: They can say what they want but we don't care about being made fun of.
Peter: Really?
Dave: Of course if everyone made fun of us we still wouldn't change our appearances.
Peter: (Laughs) well in that case you two look like a bunch of freaks.
Peter and Chris are cracking up on the floor.
Dave: Well I'll let you know, that you wouldn't last a day in my shoes.
Peter and Chris are still laughing.
Dave: What's so funny now?
Peter: (Still laughing) you said in your shoes when you don't' have any on. (Start's to laugh even harder.)
Dave: (Sort of whispering) he's a drunken loser and his son is stupider than a stump.
Peter: Well to let you know you couldn't last a day being stupider than my son or drunker then me.
Dave: I bet we can. And since we have to do this you have to stand outside naked on the street, for three days. Who ever wins gets five hundred dollars from the other person.
Peter: You're on.
Peter and Dave shake hands and then Peter gets his beer and leaves.
Peter and Chris are in the car with 18 6-packs of Patriot Al beer.
Peter: The nerve of that guy. After we saved him when he was drowning in the ocean. I will make sure to be a drunker better nudist then him.
Chris: And I'll make sure to be a stupider better nudist then him too.
Peter: That's my boy.
Commercial.
Scene 4
Peter and Chris are naked and are about to walk out the door.
Lois: Peter, what are you doing!?
Chris: Don't worry mom, dad made a bet.. (Cut off by Peter)
Peter: I bet that we could walk to the ice cream store naked and that if he walks naked with me he will get a big ice cream.
Lois: You come up with all weird things.
Peter: Thanks honey. See you in 3 days.
Peter then rushes out the door and into the car.
Scene 5
Peter and Chris are walking up the block and three hours have past by. Peter and Chris are getting extremely hungry and they only brought three six-packs of beer and three six-packs of soda. Peter also brought a fifty dollar bill and a hundred dollar bill. Peter decides to get a doughnut. When he's on line he sees a sign on the desk.
Peter: (Reading the sign) we do not accept bills over twenty dollars. (Goes over to the cashier.) Hey does this mean you won't take my fifty.
Cashier: That's right sir but you can brake it down into a twenty somewhere else.
Peter: Fine I will.
Scene 6
Peter walks down the street. Peter sees a bum with money in a cup.
Bum: Money for the poor. Money for the poor.
Peter walks up to him with the fifty dollars in his hand.
Peter: Hey do you have change for a fifty?
The bum doesn't reply. Peter gives the bum his fifty dollars. Peter is waiting for the bum to give him money back.
Peter: Give me my change you lousy no good bum.
The bum does not reply. Peter jumps on top of the bum and grabs the money and runs.
Bum: Well at least he didn't get the whole stash.
The bum takes out a wad of cash from each pocket. (He only has three pockets.) He then looks down.
Bum: Aw shucks he took the bucket too.
Commercial
Scene 7
Dotty and Dave are at their house. Dotty is sitting down watching cartoons and Dave has to beer bottles in his hands and over fifty bottles done on the floor.
Dotty: Do you know how much these kids watch of cartoons these days. The cartoons aren't even funny any more except for the ones on fox.
Dave: (Drunk) and, and its soooo easy to get drunk. It's only been a day and a half now and I'm wasted. (He then collapses on the couch.)
Scene 8
Meanwhile Peter and Chris are sitting under a big oak tree. It's getting dark and they will soon have only one more day to go.
Peter: Hey Chris.
Chris: Yea dad.
Peter: I'm glad I made that bet me because you and me never really get to spend time together anymore. And now here we are under an oak tree and still have one more day before going home.
Chris: Well we can talk now.
Peter: Okay. Well what is your dream?
Chris: Well my dream is to be a famous artist that cares more about his art then the way he looks when he is presenting his art. What was your dream dad?
Peter: Well I always wanted to have a stuffed animal named after me. Just think how happy Theodore Roosevelt was when he heard the good news.
Scene 9
Flashback
Theodore Roosevelt is talking to the vice president.
Vice president: So how do you like having a stuffed animal named after you?
Theodore Roosevelt: I hate it. Every one is calling me bear boy and cuddly Roosevelt.
Vice president: So what do you propose we do sir?
Theodore Roosevelt: We sew every one of their asses.
End Flashback
Scene 10
Chris: I guess your right dad. I guess he sure was happy.
Peter: Well it's getting late. Good night son.
Chris: Good night dad.
Chris and Peter fall asleep and don't wake up until twelve the next day. They decide to go for a walk and the come across Dotty and Dave's house. Dave is drinking water and Dotty is watching the discovery channel. Peter knocks on their door and Dave answers it.
Peter: I knew you were a liar you're not drunk and she (pointing at Dotty) isn't getting any stupider either.
Dave: We were doing it but it was too hard. I thought I was going to die and she was getting bored of watching cartoons. Here's your three-hundred dollars.
Peter: Hey we betted on five hundred dollars.
Dave: Fine here you go. Are you happy?
Dave then slammed the door on Peter and Chris.
Scene 11
Peter and Chris are walking back to their house.
Peter: You know, I learned something today.
Chris: What's that dad?
Peter: That you should never sit under a tree naked. All the sticks make marks in your butt.
End Theme song
By John365 and I don't own anything from the creators of family guy.
Note: I am the biggest family guy fan you will ever hear from.
Scene one
Peter and Brian are on the floor arm wrestling. Brian is beating Peter and with a flick of his wrist he got Peter's arm down.
Peter: Hey that's no fair you cheated.
Brian: Peter, there is no way to cheat in arm wrestling.
Peter: I saw you cheat, and as God as my witness I will make sure you don't get away with this.
Peter comes in with the chainsaw and starts it up.
Brian. He really has to deal with losing.
Theme song then comes on.
Scene 2
Peter is looking in the fridge.
Peter: Hey Lois you got any beer in the house?
Lois: I think you drank the last three six pack's of beer last night. Why don't you go and get some with Chris.
Peter: All right just as long as he doesn't want to go on the airplane ride. Because that's my favorite, he can go on the pony.
Scene 3
Peter and Chris are in the store, and they see Dotty and Dave Campbell. (The nudist)
Peter: Oh hey how you guys doing?
Dave: Were doing well. How are you two doing?
Peter: Oh, were great.
Peter stares at Dave and Dotty. The nude part is blocked out from the cash register and Peter's head.
Peter: Um... I have a question about your appearance. Dotty: You can ask us anything.
Peter: Is it weird being naked all the time?
Dave: Heaven's no it's so free and relaxing.
Peter: But don't you worry about being made fun of?
Dotty: They can say what they want but we don't care about being made fun of.
Peter: Really?
Dave: Of course if everyone made fun of us we still wouldn't change our appearances.
Peter: (Laughs) well in that case you two look like a bunch of freaks.
Peter and Chris are cracking up on the floor.
Dave: Well I'll let you know, that you wouldn't last a day in my shoes.
Peter and Chris are still laughing.
Dave: What's so funny now?
Peter: (Still laughing) you said in your shoes when you don't' have any on. (Start's to laugh even harder.)
Dave: (Sort of whispering) he's a drunken loser and his son is stupider than a stump.
Peter: Well to let you know you couldn't last a day being stupider than my son or drunker then me.
Dave: I bet we can. And since we have to do this you have to stand outside naked on the street, for three days. Who ever wins gets five hundred dollars from the other person.
Peter: You're on.
Peter and Dave shake hands and then Peter gets his beer and leaves.
Peter and Chris are in the car with 18 6-packs of Patriot Al beer.
Peter: The nerve of that guy. After we saved him when he was drowning in the ocean. I will make sure to be a drunker better nudist then him.
Chris: And I'll make sure to be a stupider better nudist then him too.
Peter: That's my boy.
Commercial.
Scene 4
Peter and Chris are naked and are about to walk out the door.
Lois: Peter, what are you doing!?
Chris: Don't worry mom, dad made a bet.. (Cut off by Peter)
Peter: I bet that we could walk to the ice cream store naked and that if he walks naked with me he will get a big ice cream.
Lois: You come up with all weird things.
Peter: Thanks honey. See you in 3 days.
Peter then rushes out the door and into the car.
Scene 5
Peter and Chris are walking up the block and three hours have past by. Peter and Chris are getting extremely hungry and they only brought three six-packs of beer and three six-packs of soda. Peter also brought a fifty dollar bill and a hundred dollar bill. Peter decides to get a doughnut. When he's on line he sees a sign on the desk.
Peter: (Reading the sign) we do not accept bills over twenty dollars. (Goes over to the cashier.) Hey does this mean you won't take my fifty.
Cashier: That's right sir but you can brake it down into a twenty somewhere else.
Peter: Fine I will.
Scene 6
Peter walks down the street. Peter sees a bum with money in a cup.
Bum: Money for the poor. Money for the poor.
Peter walks up to him with the fifty dollars in his hand.
Peter: Hey do you have change for a fifty?
The bum doesn't reply. Peter gives the bum his fifty dollars. Peter is waiting for the bum to give him money back.
Peter: Give me my change you lousy no good bum.
The bum does not reply. Peter jumps on top of the bum and grabs the money and runs.
Bum: Well at least he didn't get the whole stash.
The bum takes out a wad of cash from each pocket. (He only has three pockets.) He then looks down.
Bum: Aw shucks he took the bucket too.
Commercial
Scene 7
Dotty and Dave are at their house. Dotty is sitting down watching cartoons and Dave has to beer bottles in his hands and over fifty bottles done on the floor.
Dotty: Do you know how much these kids watch of cartoons these days. The cartoons aren't even funny any more except for the ones on fox.
Dave: (Drunk) and, and its soooo easy to get drunk. It's only been a day and a half now and I'm wasted. (He then collapses on the couch.)
Scene 8
Meanwhile Peter and Chris are sitting under a big oak tree. It's getting dark and they will soon have only one more day to go.
Peter: Hey Chris.
Chris: Yea dad.
Peter: I'm glad I made that bet me because you and me never really get to spend time together anymore. And now here we are under an oak tree and still have one more day before going home.
Chris: Well we can talk now.
Peter: Okay. Well what is your dream?
Chris: Well my dream is to be a famous artist that cares more about his art then the way he looks when he is presenting his art. What was your dream dad?
Peter: Well I always wanted to have a stuffed animal named after me. Just think how happy Theodore Roosevelt was when he heard the good news.
Scene 9
Flashback
Theodore Roosevelt is talking to the vice president.
Vice president: So how do you like having a stuffed animal named after you?
Theodore Roosevelt: I hate it. Every one is calling me bear boy and cuddly Roosevelt.
Vice president: So what do you propose we do sir?
Theodore Roosevelt: We sew every one of their asses.
End Flashback
Scene 10
Chris: I guess your right dad. I guess he sure was happy.
Peter: Well it's getting late. Good night son.
Chris: Good night dad.
Chris and Peter fall asleep and don't wake up until twelve the next day. They decide to go for a walk and the come across Dotty and Dave's house. Dave is drinking water and Dotty is watching the discovery channel. Peter knocks on their door and Dave answers it.
Peter: I knew you were a liar you're not drunk and she (pointing at Dotty) isn't getting any stupider either.
Dave: We were doing it but it was too hard. I thought I was going to die and she was getting bored of watching cartoons. Here's your three-hundred dollars.
Peter: Hey we betted on five hundred dollars.
Dave: Fine here you go. Are you happy?
Dave then slammed the door on Peter and Chris.
Scene 11
Peter and Chris are walking back to their house.
Peter: You know, I learned something today.
Chris: What's that dad?
Peter: That you should never sit under a tree naked. All the sticks make marks in your butt.
End Theme song