Yes, I admit this chapter attacks a stupid and special Sue cliché that I hate. I love the LOTR movies in general, but there's one scene I wish had not been filmed...



Rated PG-13, and don't own the Tolkien characters.

The Game of the Gods, 15

Morgoth concentrated on moving his next Sue into position, ignoring Tulkas poking him in the back.

"You're ugly," Tulkas whispered.

"If you can't come up with any more than those childish taunts, I won't pay attention to you," Morgoth sniped.

"Wasn't so childish when I was wrestling you to the ground and casting you upon your face," Tulkas replied. He sighed. "Good times."

Morgoth didn't trust himself to reply to that, and just set the Sue on the gaming table.

Varda looked at her and burst out laughing, nearly blinding Morgoth.

"What's that thing around her neck?" Varda asked, when she had calmed down.

"The reason for the story," Morgoth snapped, and launched into it so that he didn't have to listen to any more of these pesky Valar.

-----

Rose woke to the thump of hard feet and the stink of Orc below her nose. She tried to sit up, in a panic, but she found an arm gripping her. She screamed for help.

"Shut up, Elf!" someone snapped at her.

Rose closed her eyes tightly and concentrated. A moment later, she sighed in relief. Yes, her immortality necklace was still around her neck, and that meant that she wasn't mortal yet.

------

"Even if those things were real," said Varda, "a necklace? That can be snapped, or stolen, with a single tug? Why?"

"They're delicate," said Morgoth. "And pretty."

"Always knew you were a sissy," said Tulkas.

Morgoth looked pleadingly up at Ulmo. Ulmo gazed back at him, and stank of seaweed.

Morgoth turned sulkily back to his game.

------

Rose wasn't used to being in such an indelicate position. She was the Princess of the Elves, daughter of the High King, and she usually walked in the gardens and sang of love and springtime. But she had gone to the Council of Elrond, and volunteered to accompany the Ringbearer on his quest. Then, when the Fellowship broke, she had tried to rescue Merry and Pippin, and instead had become captured with them.

And she got this for it. The Orcs were probably taking her to Saruman, or else to Sauron.

Rose glanced around again, and noted Merry and Pippin in the grip of two Orcs nearby. They looked awful, bleeding and beaten, and Rose's gentle heart ached to help them. But she would have to wait until the Orcs let them go for a little while.

She closed her eyes and worked one arm free, clutching her immortality necklace, a blue star on a silver chain, for strength.

******

"Here, Elf."

Rose looked with loathing at the food the Orc threw her, and then up into its face. "I'm not eating that, you pig!" she snapped.

So beautiful was the Elf-maid in her defiance that the Orc did not insist, but actually went and fetched her some clean water, a spark of kindness touching its heart for an instant.

------

"Morgoth..."

"What?" Morgoth complained. "That wasn't even over the top, not really."

"Not that." Varda's voice sounded strange as she held out a letter to him. "Thorondor just brought this for you."

Morgoth sighed and snatched the letter. Sometimes he still got messages from confused Balrogs, who didn't understand that the First Age was definitely over and all the Noldor had left a long time ago.

The letter, however, was written in unfamiliar handwriting, and didn't have any of the burn holes that Balrogs inevitably made when they attempted to write. Morgoth wondered who it was from, but wasn't left in suspense that long.

Dear Morgoth,

Yes, I still hate you. And yes, you will still feel the bite of my blade. That whole making me sleep with my sister thing was just wrong. You bastard.

Just wait for it. One day when you're least expecting it, I will be behind you.

Sincerely, and I hate you,

Túrin.

Morgoth looked up at Varda. "I want to talk to Mandos," he said.

Varda blinked at him. "Why?"

"Túrin's harassing me," argued Morgoth, holding out the letter. "There's got to be a law against that, and he would know it."

Varda's lips twitched. She looked down too late, and Morgoth saw it.

"You think this is funny," he said, not making it a question, since there wasn't one.

"Just play, Morgoth," said Varda.

-----

Rose drank the water and then lay back on the grass, watching the Orcs. She couldn't understand their language, but a quickly whispered spell of tongues took care of that.

"We'll bring the Elf to our master," one was saying to the leader. "And then Saruman will do with her as he pleases, and become immortal himself."

"Of course," laughed the leader. "Why else were we sent?"

Rose drew back, an expression of horror spreading over her face. Of course! Saruman might want the Ring, but it was not why he had sent this detachment of Orcs. She was beautiful enough that he wanted to take and wed her by force, and take her immortality necklace so that he could become immortal.

She clenched her fists in front of her. Just let me near a sword, and I won't let that happen.

-----

"Um, Morgoth..."

This time, Morgoth was expecting it. The spell of tongues part was a bit over the top. But Varda was holding out a package to him instead, at least with one hand. The other hand was holding her nose.

Morgoth unwrapped the package curiously. He had smelled worse things in his time, including Balrogs in breeding season. But the package contained only a badly decayed hand. Wondering, Morgoth turned to the note that was also included with the hand.

Dear Dark Enemy of the World,

I thought you would want this back, since you went to so much trouble to get it. Took me a bit of searching, but I found it. Soon enough you'll have the other one, too- burying a blade in your heart.

Yours in bloodthirsty vengeance,
Maedhros.

Morgoth shuddered.

"That bad?" Varda asked.

"Let's just play," Morgoth whispered, shoving the hand away.

------

"Well, well. So they have brought me the treasure I desired above all else."

Rose stared stiffly ahead, and tried to feel glad. She had sacrificed herself so that Merry and Pippin could escape, creating an illusion of herself running away. The hobbits had gotten free in the chaos that followed, but Rose had to maintain the trance to maintain the illusion, and so when she collapsed of exhaustion the Orcs had found her again. Now she stood in the upper room of Orthanc, watching Saruman as he paced around her.

He grabbed her chin and smiled into her face. "Do you know what I will do with you, my pretty?" he asked.

Rose eyed his staff. If she could just grab it-

Then he reached up and yanked her immortality necklace off.

-----

"Not again!" Morgoth roared. "We were just getting to the good part!"

"A present from Fëanor and Maglor, this time," said Varda, holding out a small box.

Morgoth opened it gingerly. Immediately a small Elven figure holding a sword began to hit a dark figure over the head with it, and a tinny voice began to sing:

"Oh, he'll be chained up in Mandos when Eru comes..."

Morgoth slammed the music box shut and threw it across the room. Of course, that only caused the lid to pop open and the music begin to play, at least for a little while. Then it stuck on one line and started repeating it over and over. Morgoth did his best to ignore that, as well as Tulkas's snickering, before he turned back to the gaming board.

"The good part," he said.

"The good part," agreed Varda. "Although not for the reason you think."

-----

Rose screamed aloud, and then stopped. She was still alive. She hadn't gone into a coma. And because she hadn't given the immortality necklace to Saruman of her own free will, she hadn't surrendered her immortality (a/n: like Arwen with Aragorn, u know???)

-----

Varda winced as the high-pitched voice bounced through the room, reciting the author's note. "That is one of the more annoying tricks you've pulled."

Morgoth nodded. He would have enjoyed it more had it lasted longer, to compete with the skipping music box.

-----

"You cannot harm me," Rose declared exultantly. "I am still immortal!"

Saruman snorted at her. "You always were, you silly Elf. You are immortal, not the necklace."

Rose lifted her chin. "Then I'll survive," she said.

"Not even Elves survive being tossed from towers and eaten by Orcs," said Saruman, and tossed her out the window to the waiting hordes below.

The Orcs agreed that she mostly tasted like goose.

------

Morgoth sighed and put his head in his hands, then looked up at the flapping of wings. Thorondor dropped a message on the table, and Morgoth started to reach for it, with a feeling of dread.

"It's addressed to me," Varda pointed out dryly, and snatched it. She needed only a moment to read it. Then her face paled, and she stood, trembling.

"Bad news?" Morgoth asked hopefully.

"My husband is a bloody idiot, sometimes," said Varda. "He's the one who's been telling Mandos it would be all right to let some of the inhabitants walk around near the walls, because it might make them feel better. We have our security breach." She looked at the gaming table. "I need another break. I'll need to give Manwë a severe talking-to."

"What will I do?" whined Morgoth.

Varda looked at him. "We could send you back to the Void- escorted by Ulmo and Tulkas, of course."

Morgoth looked up at Tulkas. Tulkas immediately looked away and began to whistle innocently. Morgoth shuddered. The bully would probably think it was fun when Túrin was coming at Morgoth with that black sword of his.

And Ulmo...Ulmo always listened to everything. He would listen to Morgoth's enemies, too, and they might persuade him to stand aside.

Morgoth faced Varda and shook his head fervently. "I'll stay here," he squeaked.

Varda looked at him in exasperation. "The only reason we brought you out of the Void is to play this game. You need a partner, and I told you, I can't stay."

"Can I pick a partner?" Morgoth asked on impulse.

Varda narrowed her eyes. "Yes."

"You would let one more person out of Mandos?"

"For this, yes. Who is it?"

Morgoth closed his eyes. What kind of opponent did he want?

Well, he wouldn't mind someone who was cruel and hard-hearted, as long as he wasn't good at hiding it like Maglor. And someone who was ineffectual would be best of all. Someone whose plans were always getting foiled. Someone who got betrayed because of his own nature. Someone who had never really achieved much at all...

Morgoth's eyes popped open. "Celegorm," he declared firmly.

Varda raised an eyebrow. "Done," she said. "I'll tell Mandos. Oh, it looks like someone has one more message for you," she added, as a pair of eagles swooped over Morgoth and dropped another package on his lap.

Varda left. Morgoth sighed and opened the package, then frowned. It seemed to be a flower of some sort, with a bulb attached to the end. He squeezed it gingerly.

Acid sprayed out, and would have hit him in the face if he hadn't known something about Fëanor.

Tulkas giggled.

Morgoth closed his eyes. It was going to be a long time until Celegorm arrived.