Author's Note: The chapter was longer but I figured it'd be better to post
this much now because the end of it isn't quite done yet. Review and I'll
post more A.S.A.P.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Trouble was just barely aware that his phone was ringing. He blindly reached out to the side of his bed and picked it up, "Nnnng?"
"KELP!" blared Root's voice.
Trouble muttered, "Bad dream, bad dream, this must be a bad dream."
"What was that, Kelp?"
"Nothing, sir." He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Trying to finish waking up. Apparently this was no nightmare.
"You're supposed to be at work in an hour. Why aren't you awake yet?"
"I'm not a morning person, sir."
"Tough. I want you down to the Police Plaza A.S.A.P."
"Yes, sir, why?" he was still too tired worry about the fact that he was questioning his commanding officer.
"Because I told you to!"
He groaned again, stood up, and started looking for his clothes. "Why?" Oh, yeah, definitely too early to worry about getting in trouble.
"I need you to pick up some human clothes for me and bring them down to Holly's house. If she's stuck alone with Fowl for one more second than is necessary she might kill him. I wouldn't exactly cry over his death but we've still got the other Mud Man down here and he could cause problems if his charge lost his life. Besides, the Council might throw a fit if they had to waste more gold covering up his death."
Trouble was thoroughly awake now. "Holly's? I'll be right over!"
"KELP! Don't forget to come by the Police Plaza FIRST!" Root screamed.
"Yessir!" Trouble hung up the phone. Today would be good after all.
Now, some elves, like Holly, preferred to take relaxing baths (especially if they were lucky enough to move in right by natural hot springs). The slime was a natural sanitizer and moisturizer, very good for the skin. Other elves, for example Trouble, liked showers. Nice steaming water. So much cleaner than that surface stuff that was swimming with germs. Everyone had his or her own tastes of course.
Trouble hastily jumped into the shower, washed his hair until it gleamed, redressed, and grabbed something to eat while he tried to put on his boots. He brushed his teeth until they gleamed.
He almost didn't remember that he was supposed to go to the Police Plaza first. Luckily, as he was walking out the door, Foaly called him. "Root's steamed. Don't forget to stop by and pick up the clothes for the Mud Boy."
"Right. Thanks for saving my butt, Foaly."
"Yeah, yeah. Root would have had your hide for sure."
Trouble headed directly for the Police Plaza. He came in the door and Corporal Frond smiled at him. He rolled his eyes. She'd been trying to catch his eye for a while now. But he didn't have time for that today. She tossed her head, throwing her hair over her shoulder, "Commander Root wants to see you, Trouble."
"It's Lieutenant Colonel, Corporal Frond." He tried to walk past her and she caught his arm.
She giggled. "I was wondering if you wanted to walk me home today after work. I checked the schedule. We get off work at the same time today."
"No, Corporal. In fact, I'm leaving just after I see Root. I've been assigned to some on the field work today."
She pouted. "The schedule didn't say so."
"It's a revision. Excuse me."
"But, Trouble," she started.
"Go bug somebody else." He caught sight of his brother. Perfect. "Grub! Get your butt over here!"
"What, Trubs?"
Control your temper, he thought, nobody gives me any respect! "Grub, why don't you escort Corporal Frond."
"Where?" asked Grub, looking at Lili, she was beautiful.
"Anywhere but Root's office." He pushed them both aside and continued on his path. Trouble sighed. That was close. Grub still lived at home. Sooner or later their mother would give in to his pleas to move out so he could live with his brother. Trouble hoped it was later rather than sooner. Never would be even better.
He reached Root's office. "KELP!"
"Yessir, right here, sir."
"Here's what we recovered from Mulch that looks like it might fit Fowl. Take this to Holly now. Try to keep her and Fowl from killing each other."
"Right away, Commander."
"And Trouble," added Root.
"Yes, sir?"
"Go visit, Foaly. He may have some advice for you about your girl problems. I hope you weren't serious about that offer to resign. I'm not losing my second best officer."
"Uh . . ."
"NOW, Kelp."
Trouble was in a foul mood when he reached Foaly.
"How does Root know?" he demanded. "I thought the truth about how I feel about Holly was just between us."
"He overheard you talking to me when you were outside Fowl Manor. But most of it is just common office gossip by now."
"What?" asked Trouble, wide-eyed and stunned.
"You heard me." He swished his tail agitatedly. "It's no secret. We've got bets going. My gold was on you asking her to get back together 2 days ago."
"How does everybody know?"
"The way you look at her. How depressed you still are about the break up. How you smile when she comes in the room. I never saw either of you happier. You two belong together."
"Yeah? Well I wish someone would tell that to Holly."
"Why don't you tell her then?"
Trouble just started to walk away. "I've got to deliver these clothes to Fowl."
"You're making a mistake, you know. You'll realize sooner or later that I'm right!" But it was no use; Trouble was gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Trouble knocked on the door, suddenly nervous. He heard some grumpy conversation and the loud thud of something heavy hitting the ground. Holly answered the door and saw Trouble standing there. Trouble looked past Holly and saw Fowl sprawled out on the floor, apparently having just fallen (or more likely been knocked down).
"Come in."
Trouble stepped inside, "Hullo, Holly."
She said, "Hi."
"Hi," Trouble said.
Holly repeated, "Hi."
Artemis had pushed himself up onto his elbows, not quite able to stand up yet, "If greetings are over, would you mind shutting the door so nobody sees me? Unless of course you want them to know you've got a human staying here."
They shut the door. Trouble glared at him. "Here are some things for you to wear. Some of it is fairy, some of its human. See what fits. You've outgrown nearly all fairy-sized clothes and there wasn't much of a selection from Mud Men clothing down here." He dropped the clothes on top of him.
Artemis stood up. "If you'll excuse me. I shall go to the building outside to get dressed." He departed.
Trouble looked around. Aside from the blankets and pillows on the couch, things looked relatively clean considering the usual mess Trouble knew Holly kept around. All the Nutri-Bar wrappers were thrown away and most of the clothes that Holly just usually left wherever she wanted them, were out of sight (no doubt cluttering up her room). "Mud Boy seems unusually grouchy today," he said.
"Yeah. There were . . . problems . . . last night. I think he's worried I might kill him. And trust me, he's got EVERY right to be worried." She looked furious. She went and sat down on the couch.
Trouble couldn't decide whether she looked like she wanted to cry, or strangle somebody. Probably both. He went and sat down next to her. "What's wrong?"
"Fowl just put me in a foul temper."
"Why? What happened?"
"Nothing."
"Holly, you're upset. You'll feel better if you tell me."
"No, I don't think so."
"Holly . . ."
"No. It's too embarrassing."
"At least tell me. Then I'll be able to help you kill him," he joked.
"He didn't knock."
"What?"
"I was taking a bath. He didn't know it and came in. Just as I was getting out."
I'll kill him, Trouble thought.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," said Artemis, entering.
Holly glared at him and started laughing. Artemis was wearing baggy pants, a sleeveless shirt that was the latest style for elves in their thirties or so, and his own handmade Italian leather loafers. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" She started talking in Gnomish to Trouble, "Play along. Let's pretend to say rude things about what he's wearing." She made her tone sound vindictive and point at Artemis.
Trouble knew just how to play along. "You mean he doesn't understand spoken Gnomish."
"Exactly. He only knows enough to curse."
They continued the conversation for another few minutes: taking turns at completely ignoring Artemis and then making fun of him. Eventually he said, "Captain Short, would you please instruct me in how to use the local telephone system so that I may check up on Butler?"
Holly frowned at Trouble, "Sounds like our fun's over," she said, still in Gnomish.
He nodded and started in English, "Fowl, what makes you think you've got any right to use the phone here?"
"I may be a criminal but I am not a prisoner. I have rights."
"Wanna bet?" asked Holly, grinning maliciously.
Artemis bit his lip. This was going to be a very long day. Whenever Holly and Trouble began to converse in Gnomish, Artemis did his best to figure out what they were saying. By lunch he was fairly sure what word meant table, what word meant television, and what word meant Mud Boy (though it could have meant something decidedly less pleasant).
Lunch was decidedly tastier than the Nutri-Bars the night before, though less pleasant for Artemis because Holly was telling the tale of just how awful Artemis had been on the unicorn at Archie's.
"It was not that amusing, Holly."
"Sure it was, Arty." She made as if to punch him in the arm.
"Captain Short, your behavior is most unprofessional."
She was a little surprised. "How do you mean?"
"It was assigned to you by Commander Root to keep me here. This was a precaution to keep my presence here unknown by the general population. Not a way for you to get revenge on me for anything I've ever done, from our first meeting or anything more recent. Ridiculing me is quite out of order."
He was right. There was no getting around it. But she would not apologize. "What would you like to do after the three of us have finished eating?"
"That's better. First I would like to call Butler. After that, I think it would be best to call Foaly. I know you do not wish me here anymore than I wish to be here. My parents will be returning home any day now. They could be pulling into the drive this instant. I think it's best to leave some kind of excuse."
Holly nodded. When they'd taken Artemis with them, they hadn't thought things all the way through. He'd been gone from his home since what, the night before yesterday. They had better get things settled and figured out fast. "I'll show you where the phone is and dial Root's number for you."
"Thank you, Holly."
She sighed. "Could you clean up the plates for me, Trouble?"
"Sure thing, Holls."
"Come on, Artemis. I've only got one phone." She led him to her room and opened the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Trouble was just barely aware that his phone was ringing. He blindly reached out to the side of his bed and picked it up, "Nnnng?"
"KELP!" blared Root's voice.
Trouble muttered, "Bad dream, bad dream, this must be a bad dream."
"What was that, Kelp?"
"Nothing, sir." He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Trying to finish waking up. Apparently this was no nightmare.
"You're supposed to be at work in an hour. Why aren't you awake yet?"
"I'm not a morning person, sir."
"Tough. I want you down to the Police Plaza A.S.A.P."
"Yes, sir, why?" he was still too tired worry about the fact that he was questioning his commanding officer.
"Because I told you to!"
He groaned again, stood up, and started looking for his clothes. "Why?" Oh, yeah, definitely too early to worry about getting in trouble.
"I need you to pick up some human clothes for me and bring them down to Holly's house. If she's stuck alone with Fowl for one more second than is necessary she might kill him. I wouldn't exactly cry over his death but we've still got the other Mud Man down here and he could cause problems if his charge lost his life. Besides, the Council might throw a fit if they had to waste more gold covering up his death."
Trouble was thoroughly awake now. "Holly's? I'll be right over!"
"KELP! Don't forget to come by the Police Plaza FIRST!" Root screamed.
"Yessir!" Trouble hung up the phone. Today would be good after all.
Now, some elves, like Holly, preferred to take relaxing baths (especially if they were lucky enough to move in right by natural hot springs). The slime was a natural sanitizer and moisturizer, very good for the skin. Other elves, for example Trouble, liked showers. Nice steaming water. So much cleaner than that surface stuff that was swimming with germs. Everyone had his or her own tastes of course.
Trouble hastily jumped into the shower, washed his hair until it gleamed, redressed, and grabbed something to eat while he tried to put on his boots. He brushed his teeth until they gleamed.
He almost didn't remember that he was supposed to go to the Police Plaza first. Luckily, as he was walking out the door, Foaly called him. "Root's steamed. Don't forget to stop by and pick up the clothes for the Mud Boy."
"Right. Thanks for saving my butt, Foaly."
"Yeah, yeah. Root would have had your hide for sure."
Trouble headed directly for the Police Plaza. He came in the door and Corporal Frond smiled at him. He rolled his eyes. She'd been trying to catch his eye for a while now. But he didn't have time for that today. She tossed her head, throwing her hair over her shoulder, "Commander Root wants to see you, Trouble."
"It's Lieutenant Colonel, Corporal Frond." He tried to walk past her and she caught his arm.
She giggled. "I was wondering if you wanted to walk me home today after work. I checked the schedule. We get off work at the same time today."
"No, Corporal. In fact, I'm leaving just after I see Root. I've been assigned to some on the field work today."
She pouted. "The schedule didn't say so."
"It's a revision. Excuse me."
"But, Trouble," she started.
"Go bug somebody else." He caught sight of his brother. Perfect. "Grub! Get your butt over here!"
"What, Trubs?"
Control your temper, he thought, nobody gives me any respect! "Grub, why don't you escort Corporal Frond."
"Where?" asked Grub, looking at Lili, she was beautiful.
"Anywhere but Root's office." He pushed them both aside and continued on his path. Trouble sighed. That was close. Grub still lived at home. Sooner or later their mother would give in to his pleas to move out so he could live with his brother. Trouble hoped it was later rather than sooner. Never would be even better.
He reached Root's office. "KELP!"
"Yessir, right here, sir."
"Here's what we recovered from Mulch that looks like it might fit Fowl. Take this to Holly now. Try to keep her and Fowl from killing each other."
"Right away, Commander."
"And Trouble," added Root.
"Yes, sir?"
"Go visit, Foaly. He may have some advice for you about your girl problems. I hope you weren't serious about that offer to resign. I'm not losing my second best officer."
"Uh . . ."
"NOW, Kelp."
Trouble was in a foul mood when he reached Foaly.
"How does Root know?" he demanded. "I thought the truth about how I feel about Holly was just between us."
"He overheard you talking to me when you were outside Fowl Manor. But most of it is just common office gossip by now."
"What?" asked Trouble, wide-eyed and stunned.
"You heard me." He swished his tail agitatedly. "It's no secret. We've got bets going. My gold was on you asking her to get back together 2 days ago."
"How does everybody know?"
"The way you look at her. How depressed you still are about the break up. How you smile when she comes in the room. I never saw either of you happier. You two belong together."
"Yeah? Well I wish someone would tell that to Holly."
"Why don't you tell her then?"
Trouble just started to walk away. "I've got to deliver these clothes to Fowl."
"You're making a mistake, you know. You'll realize sooner or later that I'm right!" But it was no use; Trouble was gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Trouble knocked on the door, suddenly nervous. He heard some grumpy conversation and the loud thud of something heavy hitting the ground. Holly answered the door and saw Trouble standing there. Trouble looked past Holly and saw Fowl sprawled out on the floor, apparently having just fallen (or more likely been knocked down).
"Come in."
Trouble stepped inside, "Hullo, Holly."
She said, "Hi."
"Hi," Trouble said.
Holly repeated, "Hi."
Artemis had pushed himself up onto his elbows, not quite able to stand up yet, "If greetings are over, would you mind shutting the door so nobody sees me? Unless of course you want them to know you've got a human staying here."
They shut the door. Trouble glared at him. "Here are some things for you to wear. Some of it is fairy, some of its human. See what fits. You've outgrown nearly all fairy-sized clothes and there wasn't much of a selection from Mud Men clothing down here." He dropped the clothes on top of him.
Artemis stood up. "If you'll excuse me. I shall go to the building outside to get dressed." He departed.
Trouble looked around. Aside from the blankets and pillows on the couch, things looked relatively clean considering the usual mess Trouble knew Holly kept around. All the Nutri-Bar wrappers were thrown away and most of the clothes that Holly just usually left wherever she wanted them, were out of sight (no doubt cluttering up her room). "Mud Boy seems unusually grouchy today," he said.
"Yeah. There were . . . problems . . . last night. I think he's worried I might kill him. And trust me, he's got EVERY right to be worried." She looked furious. She went and sat down on the couch.
Trouble couldn't decide whether she looked like she wanted to cry, or strangle somebody. Probably both. He went and sat down next to her. "What's wrong?"
"Fowl just put me in a foul temper."
"Why? What happened?"
"Nothing."
"Holly, you're upset. You'll feel better if you tell me."
"No, I don't think so."
"Holly . . ."
"No. It's too embarrassing."
"At least tell me. Then I'll be able to help you kill him," he joked.
"He didn't knock."
"What?"
"I was taking a bath. He didn't know it and came in. Just as I was getting out."
I'll kill him, Trouble thought.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," said Artemis, entering.
Holly glared at him and started laughing. Artemis was wearing baggy pants, a sleeveless shirt that was the latest style for elves in their thirties or so, and his own handmade Italian leather loafers. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" She started talking in Gnomish to Trouble, "Play along. Let's pretend to say rude things about what he's wearing." She made her tone sound vindictive and point at Artemis.
Trouble knew just how to play along. "You mean he doesn't understand spoken Gnomish."
"Exactly. He only knows enough to curse."
They continued the conversation for another few minutes: taking turns at completely ignoring Artemis and then making fun of him. Eventually he said, "Captain Short, would you please instruct me in how to use the local telephone system so that I may check up on Butler?"
Holly frowned at Trouble, "Sounds like our fun's over," she said, still in Gnomish.
He nodded and started in English, "Fowl, what makes you think you've got any right to use the phone here?"
"I may be a criminal but I am not a prisoner. I have rights."
"Wanna bet?" asked Holly, grinning maliciously.
Artemis bit his lip. This was going to be a very long day. Whenever Holly and Trouble began to converse in Gnomish, Artemis did his best to figure out what they were saying. By lunch he was fairly sure what word meant table, what word meant television, and what word meant Mud Boy (though it could have meant something decidedly less pleasant).
Lunch was decidedly tastier than the Nutri-Bars the night before, though less pleasant for Artemis because Holly was telling the tale of just how awful Artemis had been on the unicorn at Archie's.
"It was not that amusing, Holly."
"Sure it was, Arty." She made as if to punch him in the arm.
"Captain Short, your behavior is most unprofessional."
She was a little surprised. "How do you mean?"
"It was assigned to you by Commander Root to keep me here. This was a precaution to keep my presence here unknown by the general population. Not a way for you to get revenge on me for anything I've ever done, from our first meeting or anything more recent. Ridiculing me is quite out of order."
He was right. There was no getting around it. But she would not apologize. "What would you like to do after the three of us have finished eating?"
"That's better. First I would like to call Butler. After that, I think it would be best to call Foaly. I know you do not wish me here anymore than I wish to be here. My parents will be returning home any day now. They could be pulling into the drive this instant. I think it's best to leave some kind of excuse."
Holly nodded. When they'd taken Artemis with them, they hadn't thought things all the way through. He'd been gone from his home since what, the night before yesterday. They had better get things settled and figured out fast. "I'll show you where the phone is and dial Root's number for you."
"Thank you, Holly."
She sighed. "Could you clean up the plates for me, Trouble?"
"Sure thing, Holls."
"Come on, Artemis. I've only got one phone." She led him to her room and opened the door.