Chapter Twelve:  Lost In Life

     On the one hand, it was great to see a sibling, any sibling, after nearly a year without any contact with the closest people I'd ever known-the ones I'd lived with all my life.  The ones I grew up with.  On the other hand, Zack was a tight assed, anal SOB.  Born that way as far as I'm concerned.  Even at 12 or 13 or whatever age he had been, he knew how to command.  He'd always been able to.  Just his very presence made you want to snap to attention, and I remember how very close I was to doing just that when I first knew it was him.  He turned around and he just had...had that look. The one that makes everyone feel like they've screwed up big time even if they haven't; makes them want to fall all over themselves to obey.  Despite all that, he hadn't wanted me to.  It was an action far too reminiscent of what we'd left behind.  The first thing in our lives that we'd run from.  Still expected me to obey though, the bastard.  But a year's a long time...

     I remember not wanting to obey him with every fibre of my being, even though I did, somewhere deep inside, behind all the soldier crap, care about him.  Despite everything.  Maybe even because of everything.  But when he told me to leave, I remember how close I was to telling him where to shove it.  And even with everything that's happened since, I'm still not convinced that I shouldn't have.  I didn't though, as you may have guessed.  He was my CO, my big brother.  Always will be, and as much as I had hated the thought of leaving, the still strong soldier instincts in me knew he was right.  I couldn't have stayed.  It was too dangerous.  Always is.  But what had then been the small and growing, more human part of me screamed no.  It craved normalcy, stability.  I guess it wasn't strong enough.  Not then anyway.  Maybe not even now.

     So that was that.  By sunrise the next morning I was as far away from home as I'd ever been.  As far away as I'd been the night of the escape.  It wasn't exactly the same though.  I had Zack with me this time.  Even if it was just for a short while, and I knew it was just a short while.  He'd stay long enough to get settled, give me my new orders, but it was risk to have more than one of us together for any length of time.  A kid can always hope though.  I did too.  I hoped that Zack would stay, even for just a bit longer.  He stayed just as long as I knew he would though.  It was Zack.

     It was the weirdest thing.  Still kind of baffles me.  I know we're supposed to be transgenics and super fast and all that, Zack...Zack really knows how to move fast.  One minute he had been standing there, finishing debriefing me...the next he...All I did was blink.  But I've learned, a little too well, that all it takes is a blink.  One blink to steal away all shreds of hope.  One blink to leave one feeling so utterly and completely alone.  But it's amazing how people can surprise you even when you think you know them so well...