SECOND INSTALLMENT FOR QUEST FOR THE RINGS
2: AFTERMATH OF A BATTLE
Chaos broke out, and before I could think I was taking a defensive stance with my staff against a horribly mutilated orc with strange symbols tattooed in blood red on his baldhead. He fell hard, his cracked skull seeping blood onto the quickly slickening deck. Another immediately took his place, and another after him, until I could no longer keep track and my entire mind was concentrated on felling one orc after another.
It seemed like hours until the area around me ceased to be filled with orcs and I had a chance to look around at my surroundings. Rorimac, with his huge sword, was carving great chunks out of the enemy host. I could feel spurts of pure energy coming from the very fingertips of Gandalf as he blasted orcs back over the edge to their deaths. My companions were tiring now, and my own breath came in ragged gasps that tore at an intense ache in my right side and it took me a minute to calm myself and return my attention to the ghastly scene unfolding before me.
I immediately wished I had not made that searching glance for my companions, for there on the edge of the deck fought Aceleniel, valiantly attempting to halt a three-orc advance. They were gaining on her, and step by reluctant step she was forced back into the railing and towards the gaping maw, the black abyss, that was the sea.
Before my first step toward her was complete, her body suddenly made an unnatural lurch forward and a look of surprise and utter disbelief distorted her lovely features. My eyes followed her own down to her chest, and there, sticking two inches out of her body, was the tip of a barbed, orcish arrow. She attempted to call for Legolas, but the words died on her lips as she began to topple backward, into the unforgiving sea, waiting impatiently to swallow her forever.
At that moment a cry of anguish was ripped from Legolas' heart. "No! Aceleniel!" She looked imploringly toward his voice as she sank from view over the edge of the ship. Possessed, Legolas fought like a madman towards the spot where Aceleniel had disappeared. Rorimac immediately joined him and began callously cleaving a path before the distraught Legolas. Upon reaching the rail of the ship, Legolas leaned ponderously over the side, and only Rorimac's iron grip kept him from following Aceleniel into her watery grave.
It was only then that I realized all the sounds of battle had ended, and the only audible utterance was the groaning of the wounded. The black ship with her evil army was slowly drifting away as silently and mysteriously as it had come. Then, the heartfelt sobs of Legolas rent the air and a deep sadness came over us all. It was more than I could stand. I had seen it happen, twice. I had known it was coming and had been able to do nothing to stop it. The weight of these circumstances, carried for so long in my burdened heart, all broke loose and as my legs turned to jelly beneath me, I sank to the deck and silently sobbed into my hands.
It was amazing to think that all this had come of a simple search. The five of us, Rorimac, Gandalf, Legolas, Aceleniel, and myself, had set out not four weeks ago following a rumor of the surfacing of one of the rings of power. We had been handpicked by Elrond to investigate all leads to the whereabouts of the other nine rings of power. Our journey had so far taken us through confining acres of concealing forest, miles of stretching plains, and presently across vast, stormy seas to the Isle of Geldrion. Now, only a month into our journey, our fellowship was already broken.
For nights on end, lying quietly on my cot, I could hear the broken sobs of Legolas through the walls of my cabin. The very walls I not so long ago hated because of the sounds of happiness that had issued forth. Now I cursed them for allowing in the sounds of dejectedness and utter misery, the sounds I myself had made, not so long ago. I could also hear the slow, weighted tread of tired feet up on deck as they cleaned the ship of the bodies of the vanquished foe—and those of fallen comrades. The funeral had been short, with the traditional prayers of the sailors for mates who had died at sea. Legolas bore it well, with all the quiet Elvin dignity he possessed, but upon reaching his own room, his mourning took him in full and he broke down into painful howls of grief.
A quiet knock on my door interrupted my reverie. "Come in," I called. Gandalf looked more haggard then I had ever seen him, and his eyes were filled with a deep sense of loss and mourning. He stepped in and shut the door with a soft click. Taking his time turning around to face me, he adjusted his robe and removed his large hat. He left his walking stick propped up beside mine, and came and sat down on the bed next to me.
"There was nothing you could have done. It was an accident, no one could have foreseen that she would end up separated from the rest of us during the fighting," he told me soothingly.
"Yes, you're right, no one should have been able to foresee it." I replied, fresh tears rolling down my streaked face. Gandalf must have seen something in my face, or heard it in my voice, because he suddenly took on a scrutinizing look.
"You're leaving something out," he told me, not a question, but a statement, his voice full of razor-sharp suspicion that cut right to the heart of my guilt. A fresh wave of tears swept over me, impeding my speech.
"I… see things," the admission had come quicker and easier than I would have ever thought possible. Something in Gandalf's manner put me somewhat at ease, as though it was the most natural thing in the world for me to be pouring out my deepest secret to him.
"What kinds of things do you see? Ghosts?"
"No, not apparitions. I see visions… of the future," at the last I expected a sort of surprised and horrified look to cross his face, but instead, a look of pity entered his eyes, and he softened his voice.
"And you saw Aceleniel, didn't you?" All I could do was nod, my throat constricted and I did not trust my voice to answer. "Then you know you have to talk to him. You have to tell him." At this, a wild thrill passed through my body, and I was suddenly dizzy with a mixture of overwhelming fear and hesitation, and a small amount of excitement that cut to the very core of my longing.
"M-m-me? I don't think there is anything I could do to help him at all. I'd probably just make it worse for him. He wouldn't want to see me, how could he possibly want to hear about me knowing, anyway?" I stammered out in a rush, my mind searching for every possible excuse, yet at the same time hoping that Gandalf would take none of them.
"That's what he needs the most. Your support, your confidence, your strength! And whether or not you realize it, you need him and his courage to help you through the difficult times ahead," he smiled at me winningly and took my limp hand in his old and leathery one. "I know you think the last thing he needs is to hear of anyone else's suffering, but believe me, if anything will sober him to the world he is letting slip by without him, it is the realization of an obligation towards others. He is the strongest of us, even in his weakness, and you must show him the way out of his black hole of loss back into the light." I nodded numbly and allowed him to plant a grandfatherly kiss on my forehead before he left me work up my courage.
Legolas was listless. The whole world had gone gray for his eyes. Gray, the color of the hateful waves under the cover of threatening clouds. With his chin resting heavily on his hands, Legolas stared blankly out the porthole window in his cabin. His mind wandered from images of Aceleniel to himself, to his quest, and then right back to Aceleniel again. Nothing could distract him from the thought of her. The rigid arch of her body as it surrendered to the force pulling it inexorably down, was imprinted in his mind, to last forever.
A soft tap on the doorframe caused Legolas' heart to sink farther than he would have imagined possible at the moment. "I don't want to see anyone," he thought sullenly. Then, composing himself, he called back instead, "Enter." Tarrodwen opened the door a crack and peeked inside.
I squeezed quietly through the opening and entered the cabin. There was a heavy weight in the air that was almost palpable, making it seem that any sound, however small, would shatter the thinly existing equilibrium of emotions. At the sight of Legolas, looking so dejected, I almost broke down and cried, but remembering Gandalf's wise words, I made a valiant effort to appear at ease.
"Is there something you need, Tarrodwen?" he asked me once I was fully inside with the door shut behind me. His eyes, whose glitter and personality had once caught me up and whirled my mind in a delightful chaos of happiness, seemed to be dulled and almost lifeless now.
"Yes," I conceded. "There is something I need. I need to talk to you. About Aceleniel." At the mention of her name Legolas' whole attitude seemed to change. He sat up straight, a ripple of anguish passed over his face before the Elvin impassiveness took control once more. The only emotion left showing was in his eyes, where a flicker of anger could be seen.
"I will not speak of the dead," he said evenly, coolly.
"I know of the Elvin reluctance to disturb those lying in rest with the speaking of their names. After all, I too am part Elf, am I not?" He ignored my question and pressed on with one of his own, as if he was eager to end the conversation and return to his brooding.
"Why must you torment me more with this casual conversation of the one I loved? The one that is now lost to me?"
"Because there is something you need to know. To put your mind at ease, though at first you will surely question how it is that this will at all alleviate your pain." He looked at me questioningly, with a face that pleaded me not to let him on. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him with my presence, to embrace him and extract every trace of ache left in his heart, and it took all my willpower to stay standing right where I was. I cleared my throat quietly and continued,
"I saw her die," his perfect brow creased into a frown, but before he could protest, I held up my hand to halt his words. "I saw her die, twice. I knew she would depart this life in that battle as soon as I stepped foot on the deck. I had seen it before… in a vision."
"You are a seer?!" a look of complete astonishment and incredulity stole across his face at my words. "Why didn't you tell us? How could you have kept something like that a secret from everyone?"
"Elrond knew, that's part of why I was chosen to be part of this fellowship. I--"
"You knew she would die, and you said nothing??" he suddenly broke out. "How cold are you? If you had just said something, anything, we could have, maybe we, she could have been, she would be with us right now!" His angry outburst shook me to the core. I had never seen Legolas lose control of his emotions in that way, and the words themselves, so hurtful and condemning, shattered my self-control.
"Do you think it's easy being a seer?" I shouted at him. "Do you think it's fun? How could you possibly say that to me? Just because I saw this happen, you presume to think that I could have in any way stopped it!" I was crying now, but I was too angry to care. "How dare you place her death on my shoulders? Do you think I have not agonized over this before? How do you think I felt knowing Aceleniel, my friend, would soon end her immortal life, and that I was powerless to do anything to prevent it? You are not the only one hurt by her passing, Legolas, we all are. And hard as it is for you to believe, in your selfishness, some of us are suffering just as much, if not more, than you are." With that last spike driven home, I spun on my heel and left a slightly wide-eyed Legolas sitting by himself on his cot.
2: AFTERMATH OF A BATTLE
Chaos broke out, and before I could think I was taking a defensive stance with my staff against a horribly mutilated orc with strange symbols tattooed in blood red on his baldhead. He fell hard, his cracked skull seeping blood onto the quickly slickening deck. Another immediately took his place, and another after him, until I could no longer keep track and my entire mind was concentrated on felling one orc after another.
It seemed like hours until the area around me ceased to be filled with orcs and I had a chance to look around at my surroundings. Rorimac, with his huge sword, was carving great chunks out of the enemy host. I could feel spurts of pure energy coming from the very fingertips of Gandalf as he blasted orcs back over the edge to their deaths. My companions were tiring now, and my own breath came in ragged gasps that tore at an intense ache in my right side and it took me a minute to calm myself and return my attention to the ghastly scene unfolding before me.
I immediately wished I had not made that searching glance for my companions, for there on the edge of the deck fought Aceleniel, valiantly attempting to halt a three-orc advance. They were gaining on her, and step by reluctant step she was forced back into the railing and towards the gaping maw, the black abyss, that was the sea.
Before my first step toward her was complete, her body suddenly made an unnatural lurch forward and a look of surprise and utter disbelief distorted her lovely features. My eyes followed her own down to her chest, and there, sticking two inches out of her body, was the tip of a barbed, orcish arrow. She attempted to call for Legolas, but the words died on her lips as she began to topple backward, into the unforgiving sea, waiting impatiently to swallow her forever.
At that moment a cry of anguish was ripped from Legolas' heart. "No! Aceleniel!" She looked imploringly toward his voice as she sank from view over the edge of the ship. Possessed, Legolas fought like a madman towards the spot where Aceleniel had disappeared. Rorimac immediately joined him and began callously cleaving a path before the distraught Legolas. Upon reaching the rail of the ship, Legolas leaned ponderously over the side, and only Rorimac's iron grip kept him from following Aceleniel into her watery grave.
It was only then that I realized all the sounds of battle had ended, and the only audible utterance was the groaning of the wounded. The black ship with her evil army was slowly drifting away as silently and mysteriously as it had come. Then, the heartfelt sobs of Legolas rent the air and a deep sadness came over us all. It was more than I could stand. I had seen it happen, twice. I had known it was coming and had been able to do nothing to stop it. The weight of these circumstances, carried for so long in my burdened heart, all broke loose and as my legs turned to jelly beneath me, I sank to the deck and silently sobbed into my hands.
It was amazing to think that all this had come of a simple search. The five of us, Rorimac, Gandalf, Legolas, Aceleniel, and myself, had set out not four weeks ago following a rumor of the surfacing of one of the rings of power. We had been handpicked by Elrond to investigate all leads to the whereabouts of the other nine rings of power. Our journey had so far taken us through confining acres of concealing forest, miles of stretching plains, and presently across vast, stormy seas to the Isle of Geldrion. Now, only a month into our journey, our fellowship was already broken.
For nights on end, lying quietly on my cot, I could hear the broken sobs of Legolas through the walls of my cabin. The very walls I not so long ago hated because of the sounds of happiness that had issued forth. Now I cursed them for allowing in the sounds of dejectedness and utter misery, the sounds I myself had made, not so long ago. I could also hear the slow, weighted tread of tired feet up on deck as they cleaned the ship of the bodies of the vanquished foe—and those of fallen comrades. The funeral had been short, with the traditional prayers of the sailors for mates who had died at sea. Legolas bore it well, with all the quiet Elvin dignity he possessed, but upon reaching his own room, his mourning took him in full and he broke down into painful howls of grief.
A quiet knock on my door interrupted my reverie. "Come in," I called. Gandalf looked more haggard then I had ever seen him, and his eyes were filled with a deep sense of loss and mourning. He stepped in and shut the door with a soft click. Taking his time turning around to face me, he adjusted his robe and removed his large hat. He left his walking stick propped up beside mine, and came and sat down on the bed next to me.
"There was nothing you could have done. It was an accident, no one could have foreseen that she would end up separated from the rest of us during the fighting," he told me soothingly.
"Yes, you're right, no one should have been able to foresee it." I replied, fresh tears rolling down my streaked face. Gandalf must have seen something in my face, or heard it in my voice, because he suddenly took on a scrutinizing look.
"You're leaving something out," he told me, not a question, but a statement, his voice full of razor-sharp suspicion that cut right to the heart of my guilt. A fresh wave of tears swept over me, impeding my speech.
"I… see things," the admission had come quicker and easier than I would have ever thought possible. Something in Gandalf's manner put me somewhat at ease, as though it was the most natural thing in the world for me to be pouring out my deepest secret to him.
"What kinds of things do you see? Ghosts?"
"No, not apparitions. I see visions… of the future," at the last I expected a sort of surprised and horrified look to cross his face, but instead, a look of pity entered his eyes, and he softened his voice.
"And you saw Aceleniel, didn't you?" All I could do was nod, my throat constricted and I did not trust my voice to answer. "Then you know you have to talk to him. You have to tell him." At this, a wild thrill passed through my body, and I was suddenly dizzy with a mixture of overwhelming fear and hesitation, and a small amount of excitement that cut to the very core of my longing.
"M-m-me? I don't think there is anything I could do to help him at all. I'd probably just make it worse for him. He wouldn't want to see me, how could he possibly want to hear about me knowing, anyway?" I stammered out in a rush, my mind searching for every possible excuse, yet at the same time hoping that Gandalf would take none of them.
"That's what he needs the most. Your support, your confidence, your strength! And whether or not you realize it, you need him and his courage to help you through the difficult times ahead," he smiled at me winningly and took my limp hand in his old and leathery one. "I know you think the last thing he needs is to hear of anyone else's suffering, but believe me, if anything will sober him to the world he is letting slip by without him, it is the realization of an obligation towards others. He is the strongest of us, even in his weakness, and you must show him the way out of his black hole of loss back into the light." I nodded numbly and allowed him to plant a grandfatherly kiss on my forehead before he left me work up my courage.
Legolas was listless. The whole world had gone gray for his eyes. Gray, the color of the hateful waves under the cover of threatening clouds. With his chin resting heavily on his hands, Legolas stared blankly out the porthole window in his cabin. His mind wandered from images of Aceleniel to himself, to his quest, and then right back to Aceleniel again. Nothing could distract him from the thought of her. The rigid arch of her body as it surrendered to the force pulling it inexorably down, was imprinted in his mind, to last forever.
A soft tap on the doorframe caused Legolas' heart to sink farther than he would have imagined possible at the moment. "I don't want to see anyone," he thought sullenly. Then, composing himself, he called back instead, "Enter." Tarrodwen opened the door a crack and peeked inside.
I squeezed quietly through the opening and entered the cabin. There was a heavy weight in the air that was almost palpable, making it seem that any sound, however small, would shatter the thinly existing equilibrium of emotions. At the sight of Legolas, looking so dejected, I almost broke down and cried, but remembering Gandalf's wise words, I made a valiant effort to appear at ease.
"Is there something you need, Tarrodwen?" he asked me once I was fully inside with the door shut behind me. His eyes, whose glitter and personality had once caught me up and whirled my mind in a delightful chaos of happiness, seemed to be dulled and almost lifeless now.
"Yes," I conceded. "There is something I need. I need to talk to you. About Aceleniel." At the mention of her name Legolas' whole attitude seemed to change. He sat up straight, a ripple of anguish passed over his face before the Elvin impassiveness took control once more. The only emotion left showing was in his eyes, where a flicker of anger could be seen.
"I will not speak of the dead," he said evenly, coolly.
"I know of the Elvin reluctance to disturb those lying in rest with the speaking of their names. After all, I too am part Elf, am I not?" He ignored my question and pressed on with one of his own, as if he was eager to end the conversation and return to his brooding.
"Why must you torment me more with this casual conversation of the one I loved? The one that is now lost to me?"
"Because there is something you need to know. To put your mind at ease, though at first you will surely question how it is that this will at all alleviate your pain." He looked at me questioningly, with a face that pleaded me not to let him on. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him with my presence, to embrace him and extract every trace of ache left in his heart, and it took all my willpower to stay standing right where I was. I cleared my throat quietly and continued,
"I saw her die," his perfect brow creased into a frown, but before he could protest, I held up my hand to halt his words. "I saw her die, twice. I knew she would depart this life in that battle as soon as I stepped foot on the deck. I had seen it before… in a vision."
"You are a seer?!" a look of complete astonishment and incredulity stole across his face at my words. "Why didn't you tell us? How could you have kept something like that a secret from everyone?"
"Elrond knew, that's part of why I was chosen to be part of this fellowship. I--"
"You knew she would die, and you said nothing??" he suddenly broke out. "How cold are you? If you had just said something, anything, we could have, maybe we, she could have been, she would be with us right now!" His angry outburst shook me to the core. I had never seen Legolas lose control of his emotions in that way, and the words themselves, so hurtful and condemning, shattered my self-control.
"Do you think it's easy being a seer?" I shouted at him. "Do you think it's fun? How could you possibly say that to me? Just because I saw this happen, you presume to think that I could have in any way stopped it!" I was crying now, but I was too angry to care. "How dare you place her death on my shoulders? Do you think I have not agonized over this before? How do you think I felt knowing Aceleniel, my friend, would soon end her immortal life, and that I was powerless to do anything to prevent it? You are not the only one hurt by her passing, Legolas, we all are. And hard as it is for you to believe, in your selfishness, some of us are suffering just as much, if not more, than you are." With that last spike driven home, I spun on my heel and left a slightly wide-eyed Legolas sitting by himself on his cot.