AN: At last, Chapter 100! I'm exceedingly proud of myself now! I'd like to thank everybody who's supported me over the past… ten or eleven months, given me constructive criticism, destructive criticism, or just praise. It's all helped, though the flaming less than others. Don't think I've been flamed that much, though.

Anyway, Tide of Destiny is going well… though I've written myself into a spot where I need the Underdark to be over and done with fairly quickly. I'm predicting about ten chapters or so, hopefully maximum, before we're out. The Underdark is plot-essential, but much of it really doesn't need to be gone-over, as it's much of what you'll have seen in the game. The minor twists are distinctly minor, and the big changes, the big swings, are lined up for once the Underdark is over and done with. So I'll get cracking, and hopefully not get bored! :-D

Chapter 100: Jigsaw Puzzle

The Svirfneblin had been absolutely delighted when the adventurers had returned, with Goldander already summoning the gnomes he had sent to deeper levels back to the main village. He had offered them shelter for the night, with the promise of helping them on their quest once they were fully rested, and had then set about finding some interesting treasure with which to pay them for their apparent heroics. The party had been in no situation to refuse, and had gratefully collapsed in the slightly too small but comfortable beds of the village inn upon arrival and after having been profusely thanked by every Svirfneblin they had come across.

Some of them were still sleeping deeply; others had dozed but awoken a few hours later, there being too many things on their minds for them to slumber restfully for any particular length of time. One of these such people was Jaheira, who had taken a brief rest then escaped to the inn's common room, abandoned this late at night. It had been no mean feat to manoeuvre herself into the tiny chairs of the Svirfneblin, but she had managed it and was now perched there with a drink of some sort she had raided from the bar.

She wasn't too surprised when Harrian emerged from the corridor leading to the rooms, looking groggy and worn but still quite thoughtful and determined. In turn, he didn't bat an eyelid when he saw her, merely made his careful way across the common room towards her. There was a second's pause as he regarded the chairs left around, then he nudged the table over and perched on that in front of her.

"Couldn't sleep?" the swashbuckler asked quietly, clasping his hands together in front of him as he looked down at her.

Jaheira shrugged. "It has taken me many years, but I have learnt enough to be able to gain as much energy from as little resting time as possible." She sipped her odd drink lightly. "A druid trick," she added by way of explanation.

"Ah, you druids. Wily little buggers," Harrian murmured, sounding a little like his old self. There was a slight distance in his eyes, however, as his mind raced back to the other druids he'd known. There had been Faldorn, yes… then Cernd, and all the others at Trademeet. He tried, vaguely successfully, to push the incidents at Trademeet to the back of his head. This was not the time to consider such things.

Or was it?

"I feel I owe you… an explanation, or at least an apology." Harrian paused, grimacing. "I'm not sure I can say anything which makes anything better, or even makes things clearer, but I think I owe you at least an attempt to do so."

Jaheira looked up at him, and their eyes met for a long moment until the thief glanced away guiltily. "Do nothing merely because you feel you 'owe' it me," she whispered, and although her voice was soothing, there was a slightly hard note in there too… pride? A defensive wall?

"Should I only do something that I want to do, then?" he countered a little challengingly. "I don't want to. I want to be able to stick my head in the sand and just try to wish all of this away, but I'm not so far gone that I honestly consider that to be an option." Harrian stared at the floor, and sighed deeply. "I'll do what I should. It's taken me some time, but, as you always said… what you want to do and what you should do are two very different things, and we can't live this life selfishly."

The druid raised an eyebrow at him. "Who is being the selfish one here, however?" she demanded lightly.

Harrian sighed yet again. "Me," he replied quietly. "I'm being selfish in pushing you away… it's not fair to you, and I know there's nothing saying that I… should… keep you at arm's length… but I need to, right now," he explained slowly. He hesitated for a moment, then reached out and rested his hand lightly on hers, ready to pull it swiftly away at a moment's notice. "It's selfish, and unfair to you, but it's what I need. I can't let you in, because I'm not sure I could handle that right now. There's so much going on… inside my head, inside my heart, and although I know you would help to set half of it right, you'd bring with you even more turmoil, turmoil I'd delight in sorting through with you if life were as normal as it can be for us… but life isn't normal, not for me, and although you'd solve half the problems in my head, the ones you'd add would turn me upside-down." He paused, frowning slightly. "Did that make… any sense?"

Jaheira smiled tightly, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. "Enough." She paused, looking down. "I don't have all of the answers to your problems. I wish I did, but I don't. And I understand." She met his gaze again, and this time, he didn't pull away. "Know that I care for you, however, Harrian. I shall give you the distance you need, but I'm not afraid to step in as I had to today if it is needed. I shall leave your heart to its own devices, but your mind and soul…" Her voice trailed off as she realised what she was saying, and an uncomfortable silence hung in the air for a moment.

Harrian looked pained for a few seconds, then withdrew his hand slowly. "Thank you," he said at last. "I will need you as… Jaheira, my friend and my guide. I don't think I'll ever stop needing you as that. But as… anything more… not now." He stopped, looking exceedingly guilty, then looked deeply into her eyes. "When this is over… when we're out of this dark place, or when I have my soul back… when something here is sorted, we shall talk again, I promise you. When things have changed." He stood carefully. "I should sleep, if we are to carry on again tomorrow. This party needs a leader sound of mind, and although I may not be able to be that, I'll at least try to be a leader who's not about to collapse," he said at last, uncomfortably leaving and heading back to his room, leaving a thoughtful Jaheira behind him.

They had thought they were the only two of the party who were awake and out and about, but they were quite wrong. Sleeplessness was an attribute two others suffered from that night, and had suffered from for longer than Jaheira had been awake, though they were quite unaware of the other's condition.

Anomen wandered the streets of the Svirfneblin village. He had been out for an hour or so now, for once enjoying the cool air of this part of the Underdark, walking to avoid dreams and thoughts. The constant movement, being able to focus on something – even it was just where he was going – saved him from entertaining other, less pleasurable considerations. He also thought he was the only member of the party out and about.

So he was surprised, as he reached the southernmost part of the village, to see Imoen perched on the tall fence before the massive canyon the bridge into the village had crossed. Although before her was an incredible, and possibly even endless, drop, the lithe and nimble mage was showing absolutely no fear as she sat, heels tapping against the wood-like material the fence was made from, staring out into space.

Anomen grimaced as he approached, then stood silently for a minute, wondering how best to make his presence known without surprising her. He cleared his throat quietly, hoping to get her attention, then raised his voice slightly. "My lady?"

Imoen's head whipped around with unexpected speed, and his heart stopped for a moment as he thought she had lost balance, startled by his sudden appearance. But Imoen was quite in control as she smiled, genuinely yet a little guardedly, and shifted around swiftly so that she faced him. "Heya, Ano. It's a bit late to be out and about, isn't it?"

Anomen raised an eyebrow slightly as he stepped towards her, still eyeing the fence dubiously. "I could say the same thing to you, my lady," he pointed out. "Ah… are you sure you don't want to get down?" he carried on uncomfortably.

Imoen laughed lightly, and she seemed in a more cheerful mood than he had seen her in for a few days. "Nah," she declared at last, then chuckled and leapt to her feet, balanced precariously on the fence still. She grinned as she saw his horrified expression, then started to walk along the fence, arms stretched out for balance.

"Imoen, by Helm, don't!" Anomen gasped, something telling him to be amused by her antics but a sudden panic rather overwhelming that. "It is, it must be, a terribly long way down if you fall…!"

Imoen theatrically glanced down into the deep blackness of the canyon as she walked, Anomen still hurrying along beside her, ready to snatch her off the fence if she did lose her balance. He had a point. It was a long way down. She started to skip.

Having had enough, Anomen decided to take action himself as he reached out quickly, strong hands suddenly gripping Imoen around the waist and pulling her down to solid ground, to safety.

There was a long moment whilst they stood, Anomen still holding on to her, as she stared up into his blue-green eyes. Jaheira's voice suddenly popped into her head, a memory, a piece of advice tugging at her.

Look, child. See, child. There is more to this than meets the eye.

She could see the seriousness of his expression, feel the hesitant tightness of his grip, hear the slowing and deepening of his breathing… and she pulled away quickly, masking slow realisation with a joking expression. "Spoilsport," she declared at last, sticking her tongue out at him.

Anomen blushed a little, smiling bashfully. "If I must be boring in order to stop you from plummeting, my lady, then that is a sacrifice I am quite willing to make." He paused for a long moment as he regained control, serious again. "Haer'Dalis is recovered and well, I take it?" he asked slowly, with bated breath.

Imoen shrugged, a slight frown on her face as she looked at him, pieces slotting together in her mind. Then she smiled again. "He was alright when I left him… sleeping, I think." She spotted the slight flicker on Anomen's face, heard her own words, and ensured she carried on to explain. "When we said goodnight… he said he was going to sleep when he went to his room," she stumbled.

"I see," Anomen said at last, keeping relief from his face. There was a dull silence, then he looked quizzically at her. "Why did you come out here? It has been a long day, and the days ahead shall be long also. You need your rest."

"So do you," she countered predictably, then sighed, and shrugged once again. "I don't know… I just wanted to get out. It's so… dark, so oppressive down here. I wanted to sit, and think… mull things over. It has been a long day, and quite a worrying one. What about you?"

He didn't press her last point; didn't dare, for she had erected barriers every time he had made a little more effort in conversation for the last month or so. "I also wished to think… doubtless for different reasons," he said. "But you are right. There is something about this place which brings everything dark and foreboding to the forefront, and it is impossible to think of the light," Anomen sighed at last.

Imoen shifted uncomfortably. "Do you want to talk about it?" It was a foolish question, she knew, because sharing problems was not an activity they had really partaken in over the last few weeks.

"No more than I am sure you do," the cleric replied quietly, and she felt a brief stab of guilt as he turned away slightly. "I am going to go and sleep," he said at last. "I would advise you to do the same, but if you wish to stay… please try to think somewhere other than on a fence above an endless drop," Anomen half-joked, half-pleaded, before walking off, back towards the inn without even a backwards turn.

Imoen closed her eyes as she leant back against the fence, mind reeling. It had all started to fit together, all into one mass she really didn't want to have to deal with right then. She knew she wouldn't get a moment's sleep that night.

And so, disregarding his warnings, she turned and clambered back onto the fence, perched precariously over the massive drop, staring out at the Underdark beyond the canyon, deep in thought once again.