Jian Dan Ai

Chapter 2

~It's no Lie~

Why was I still there? Why was I waiting for something to happen..?

He would turn and my heart would skip a beat..

He would breathe in an odd manner and I'd perk up, wanting to see curious red orbs gazing back at me.

But…why?

Why…did I want to see him smile… and then listen to his cocky ass attitude ring out through such a sweet voice?

Maybe I hit my head too hard.. It's been three hours.. In my sisters room..with the smell of perfume in the air.. How could he sleep? Then again, I found my self fighting the urge to lay down next to Faust and fall asleep.. I guess I was just.. Weak. I did sleep a long time and he's only slept a few hours… I really should go see what Jun is making for dinner.. That would be nice.. The thought crossed my mind several times.. But I couldn't get myself to stand up.

Finally.. I worked up enough strength to push myself off that chair. Heading towards the door when I heard a moan. Stopping and looking back to watch Faust sit up and look around.. He looked drugged again.. But that was normal.. He seemed to want his hat.. Because, when he found it, it grabbed it and put it on. Then slid out of the bed. He was still dressed.. Hm.. How could he sleep like that…

Then it hit me. What hind of attack would send Faust to his knees and leave him unable to get up…? My eyes shifted to his legs.. It wasn't my fault, but his lap was in view.. But, as I watched him, he limped. Grabbing his coat and putting it on.. Then noticing him standing there.. I blinked... He blinked… then…smiled. It was very faint.. But it was a smile..

"I see you're up, Ren."

"I see you're limping"

"It's better than passing out in a towel."

I growled and turned away from Faust and crossed my arms over my chest.. What a fucking prick. But, it seems that Faust had some kindness in his cold heart.. Since I didn't speak… he decided to go on.

"I didn't get a chance to…. I wanted to.. But I couldn't.. You wouldn't wake up.. You had us worried.. Taking such a hit we feared you were in a coma… I was talking to you..as you slept.. Hoping you'd wake. But it didn't work.. Tao-chan.. she told me to get something to eat… to sit down and relax. It was hard.. But I managed to pry myself out of your room and get something to eat.. Then went outside to relax… I didn't know you woke up then.. Or I would've greeted you…. Thank you… Ren… Thank you so much.."

I couldn't help but turn around and face him.. He was talking with so much emotion.. It was..amazing.. He was…being thanked..and…. Told me how worried he was… what kind of bull shit was this… but, there I was… at a loss for words.. Looking to the ground and hoping something would happen..

"REN…..FAUST…FOOD!"

Who could've thought that voice would bring a sudden joy to me..? Oh well.. I looked to Faust, who had started to adjust his hat… then looked to the door..

"Dinner's done… Faust.."

"I heard.."

"See you…there.."

I had started towards the door and reached out to grab the handle… Something was just making me move so slowly..

"Ren…-"

I slowed to a stop... I could hear my heart beating… I was frozen there with my hand on the handle.. Turning it slowly..

"-I…..-"

The door was open…

"-love..-"

And I stepped out a bit..

"-…..you."

And the door was closed.. My eyes went wide..and I looked to the ground.. Tears welling in them.. Jun had walked upstairs and saw me.. She knew something was wrong.. So she left me alone…

"Ren… I'll put your plate in the microwave.."

I nodded and left for my room.. Letting Jun have access to her room.. It took me a long walk.. But when I reached my room, I heard a door shut and looked down the hall to see Faust and Jun talking.. Faust seemed a bit upset.. He was limping as well.. Did .. I hurt his feelings? Did.. I say something wrong..?

I .. Didn't say anything at all..

/I love you too/

Was it right…to think that..? Was Faust lying to me…or was he on so much pain medicine that he was almost in a drunken state..? I felt horrible… but was sure to listen in when Faust and Jun walked by.

~"You know…. He's probably just confused.."

"How can he be confused?"

"He…. He's always had a problem with love, Faust.. It's not natural for him.."

"Oh.."

"What about… your fiancée?"

"She doesn't matter anymore.. I used her memory as a way to keep Ren close..but to make him have and odd feeling about me..I don't think I wanted to accept it.."

"Accept the fact that you fell in love again..?"

"Yes…"

"I'll… try and find out what her thinks.."

"Like he'll tell you.."

"He's my brother.. I know more about him than you would want to know.."~

I guess I was still tired from the injury.. Because I had dozed off… I don't think it was a smart idea.. But I guess it's natural.. I had been hiding a lot of pain… But I wished that my dreams…weren't of Faust.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That was probably the best sleep I had in years.. And I don't know why.. But I thought that as I came to.. I slept all night and well into the evening..I guess I was sick.. It wasn't normal. But something told me that I had a great sleep..

Until I tried to sit up.

That's when I felt the pull on my chest, and the confusion of what was trying to hold me down.. And condemn me to that bed.. So, what was this force?

I lifted the blanket slowly, and uncertain of what I'd find.. Then the shock of what I did find overwhelmed me.. A slender hand.. Skin pale enough to be declared white.. A strong grip placed upon my hip.. Yet it was gentle.. How, why.. Would anyone hold me with such a gentle grasp..? Did I worry them that much..? But, who was it? It was too pale for Jun..so.. Who else was the- … Faust..

I looked over to the chair and found his hat and jacket. /I…love….you…/ those words mocked me.. So, just what did I forget?! I don't ever remember getting attacked or anything.. And I normally wouldn't jump in front of Faust to save him.. What was I missing?

"Mm.."

My heart skipped a beat when I looked over to see Faust's face.. A small smile on his blue tinted lips… so sweet and innocent.. Yet, he looked dead. Peaceful.. It's amazing no one berried him alive..

Wait, why is he sleeping on my bed?

I reached down slowly and went to grab at Faust's arm to move it off my hip. But he let go and moved his hand to my lap.. I knew he was asleep.. Because he's not that stupid… So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Fighting back a blush as I grabbed his hand and moved it. Placing his hand next to him, but so his hand was in front of his face. Watching his smile brighten. Biting my bottom lip and gently brushing my fingers lightly over the man's pale cheek.. Then sliding off the bed and stretching.. Reaching back over to Faust's cheek… resting my hand on it. Oh boy, was this nice. Or….not.

I was so confused.. Something wasn't right..Faust wouldn't dare to sleep in the same bed as me… Unless there was something more.. Like… why wasn't I slapping him and pushing him off the bed..? Why was I… touching his cheek. That soft, soft skin upon my finger tips sent tingles down my spine. I..couldn't help but want to touch all of Faust's body.. As wrong as it sounded… I just…. The longing wouldn't go away. What was wrong with me?!

"Ren!"

Jun wanted me.. It was funny how she found yelling as an ideal way of waking someone up.. I think I yelled at her a thousands times and told her to wake someone up the normal way.. But it never worked.. Looking to the door a moment. Then back down to Faust, who's sleep seemed to be breaking.. Not good… Or well.. Not at that moment since I was still touching his cheek.. Okay…I need a change.. Why not? He's still out…not waking up just yet.. So… what's the harm..?

I felt myself leaning close.. Placing a soft kiss upon Faust's lips.. I would've kept kissing him.. But Jun was becoming restless.. So I walked over to the dresser and got changed into a black, Chinese, outfit. Sliding on the mary-jane shoes after I had the socks on and tucked under my pants.. Walking to the door and unlocking it.. Blinking a few times and looking to Faust.. Then opening the door and stepping out into the hall. Sighing, I made my way to the kitchen and looked to Jun.. Giving her my icy, golden, stare of death..

"Ren, you've been sleeping all day! Where is Faust?!"

"I was tired! It doesn't matter how long I sleep.. And who cares about where Faust is!"

I knew she knew I was lying.. But the look on her face made me curious..

"What…do you mean 'who cares'? Ren…"

"What do I mean…?"

"Ren..you… lost your memory.. Didn't you?"

"My..memory?"

"Yes..you log of the past. Ren.. You lost it when you were hurt.."

"I KNOW WHAT A MEMORY IS!"

"Ren, calm down."

"What did I forget?!"

"Ren.."

"TELL ME NOW!"

"Ren…."

She stood up from the kitchen table and walked off.. Growling softly, I walked over to the table and sat on a chair.. Leaning back, even though my bruised back hurt.. Then waiting.. I knew she went to get something.. Because she knew she'd be in a lot of trouble if she took off and didn't come back..

And, surely enough, she walked back in with a photo album.. Raising a brow, I took it from her and opened it up. Flipping through until I got to the recent pictures. Then I went slowly.. Looking at the pictures of me and the others…then I found some of Faust and I… holding hands.. Sharing ice-cream.. What the hell..?

"What…does this mean.."

"Faust..and you.. Have become really good friends.. And became closer than ever.. He loves you.."

"Your point?"

"You forgot when you told me your feelings about him."

"What..?"

"Ren..you l-"

She stopped suddenly..and it was enough to almost send my fist into her face..but I heard a yawn and looked to the stairs. Seeing Faust's pale hand then his entire body.. Blinking a few times.. Then looking to Ren who gave me that sisterly look..

..everything seemed to be falling apart…