Jian Dan Ai

Chapter 3

~A Whisper in Time~

All right…so… Let me back track a bit here… Hm. Apparently Faust and I had a relationship before that fight. But, why do I only remember jumping in front of that blast? Okay… And, Faust wasn't afraid to sleep in the same bed as me… Nor let his hand wander to my lap…

Ack, the thought was making me blush slightly. I looked to Jun who chuckled and walked over to Faust.

"Did you have a nice sleep? I would've checked up on you, but you locked Ren's door. Sneaky."

"Yeah… Well, I know how Ren is when you leave his door unlocked."

"Then how did you get into his room?"

"My key." And Faust reached under his shirt and pulled out a necklace with an old looking skeleton key. Ren had loved keys like that so that was why he never changed the locks. And Ren even gave the spare to him. How sweet.

I looked to Faust and eyed the key. Why didn't I remember that? Why didn't I remember anything? Faust looked to me, then he looked to the photo album and turned to Jun.

"Ah, I forgot you had that key, Faust. Well, you look paler than usual. I made some Lo Mien. So, you can eat as much as you want. There's extra sauce and rice as well." Jun had spoke, interrupting my train of thought.

As for me, I took that photo album and left the kitchen. I could always heat up leftovers. You know? Well, I just wanted to look over some things. So, I sat down on the couch in front of the TV and flipped through the pages. My fingers brushing over the part of each photo where Faust was. I never noticed how beautiful his smile was, and I never remembered him smiling more than he did in his sleep. He looked so sweet. So happy. And, myself… That look festering in my eyes. That….that..feeling. I truly felt something then and the missing piece to the puzzle made me sick to my stomach.

So sick, so very sick. I felt like passing out again, it'd be better than trying to remember all that I've missed.. What did I need to do?! What was I supposed to do?!

I couldn't stand it any longer. This perpetual NIGHTMARE of all things horrid trying to tear me from all of my humanity! Why was this happening.. Why?

All I could say was that… Well, I couldn't say anything! I needed advice. And, who better to give me advice..--I saw that angelic face that made me want to vomit. That boy… that patriotic moron of all stupidity known to man.. AND DAMN THAT AMIDAMARU! He should be mine! But.. This boy.. This Yoh. He is smiling, he is happy. And, he's surround by his enemies. Must he be a new friend that I only remember the hatred I had for him? I needed to know. I needed to find out. So, I closed the book and gathered my things. Walking into the kitchen and looking to Jun.

"Ren, where are you going..?"

"Out."

"To where?"

"A place. I need to think."

"I don't mind, Ren, do as you please."

"Thank you, Jun."

"I mind."

I froze, just as I went to walk. And I turned to the owner of that voice, Faust. The one man who sent me on this journey of remembrance. The one I despised, though was told I loved. Confused, I beckoned for a reason.

"You mind?"

"Yes, I mind."

"Why…do you mind?" I didn't want to sound stern. It just happened.

"You haven't eaten in days, nor have you managed to stay awake long enough to read a page of literature!"

"What's your point?"

"If you are to go anywhere, it would be after you eat."

"And..?"

"I know you're safe no matter where you go. Thanks to that ghoul of yours."

"What do you want from me. You just tell me one thing. I'll don only one thing that you want."

"Only one?"

"Only one."

"Eat."

"Alright Faust."

Ren seemed shocked to see me listen to Faust when I had no memory to what happened in the past.. The good part of the past.

So, she passed me a plate and I got what I wanted. Picking up my chopsticks and I ate. I ate as quickly as I could. So I could get going. But, each time I looked up I noticed Faust was staring at me… Why? Why couldn't he keep his eyes off me.. I.. I love those eyes…

Sighing, I ate as quickly as I could. Almost causing myself to barf it all up, but I managed to keep it in. Which was overly good, because I shot to my feet and grabbed that picture book. Faust looked up at me, then to Jun and sighed softly. He seemed a bit sad, but I was in too much of a hurry to notice that look on his face as I shot out the door and ran all the way…

…All the way to Yoh's house.

As crazy as it may sound, some part of me told me to go there.. That would be the best choice. The best action I can take. The only thing I could think of doing.

Arg, and as I reached that boy's house my stomach seemed to churn. I thought I was going to be sick, but I eyed the book I brought with me and walked over to the door. Going to open it, but my had stopped at the door knob. This wasn't my house. I had no right to just go into it, so I knocked.

Part of me didn't want the boy to be home… the other part begged for the boy to open the door and look at me with that same doped up look and cheesy smile. God, I hated it when he would look at me like that.

"Hello?"

Shit, Yoh's home. No turning back now. I braced myself as the door opened, but.. Much to my surprise, Yoh's reaction to my being at the door was more on the lines of..:

"Ren?! You're…you're alright!"

Yoh seemed shocked that I was okay… not that I was there. I swallowed hard and nodded slowly.

"Ren… Um.. Come in. I can't have you standing outside all day."

Yoh stepped aside and let me in, but just as I went to step in, Amidamaru showed up and stopped me. I looked up to him, but it seemed as though Amidamaru was…smiling to me. Smiling… Why?

"Amidamaru.. Please move"

The ghost moved and I stepped into Yoh's house and looked about. Slowly sitting down on his couch and setting the picture album on the table in front of me. Looking up to Yoh as he walked over and looked at the book. But, Yoh thought nothing of it and sat down next to me.

"So, how's Faust?"

"I guess he's alright. I'm not sure."

"What do you mean? You could read Faust like a book."

I shook my head and covered my face with my hands, leaning forward so my elbows rested on my thighs.

"Yoh.. I don't remember anything. And it's pissing me off! Each time I wake up I find out something else that I forgot. I don't know how to get myself to remember all I forgot. And if I don't remember anything soon, I will probably kill myself.."

"Ren…?"

"Yoh… I can't take this. Faust has been watching me sleep and he's been sleeping in the same bed with me. Faust…even said he loves me.."

"Ren. I understand this. I remember that day when you took that blow.. Probably better than Faust would. And, I don't know how to help you. But, I will tell you one thing.. Look through those pictures you brought.. Then go up to Faust and tell him the first three words that come to you. Don't think about what you are going to say."

I paused and looked to the book as Yoh leaned in and whispered in my ear, as if Amidamaru or Bason could hear. Like they'd listen anyway, it looked like they were going to have a tea party for crying out loud.

"You need to sleep…with Faust."

"WHAT?!"

"Shhh."

I sighed softly. Looking to a clock, then to Yoh. Reaching forward and grabbing that photo album before standing up.

"Bason. Let's go. Thanks for the help, Yoh."

"You're welcome Ren."

I turned and walked out the door, heading towards my home. But I stopped and looked to the book in my hands. Opening it and flipping to the page that had a picture of Faust and me kissing. Shaking my head I closed the book and continued to walk. Taking the longest route I knew.

It was almost 11:34 AM when I left Yoh's house, but I found myself sitting in the park looking through the pages over and over again. Loosing sight of time as the sun began to go down.

"Ren. You should go home."

"Why should I, Bason? I have no clue what's going on… I don't want to look like a fool."

"Ren. All you need to know, is that you love Faust. And you'll soon remember everything. Give that time."

"Bason… Are you being sentimental?"

"In a way, I guess I am. But, I want you to go home."

"Alright.."

I stood up and looked at the book. Holding it close to my hands and taking another long route home. A long route indeed, by time I got home it was past 10:00 PM. And, once I walked through the door I could hear Jun's calming words and Faust's sobs.

"Faust, he'll be home soon.. I promise you."

"Why isn't he home now?! What if he got hurt?"

"Faust, this is Ren we're talking about.. Not a lot of things could hurt him.."

I decided to stop listening and walked into another room. Putting the album down and shaking my head. I heard Faust stand up and walk up the stairs. So, they were in the kitchen. It would be best if I avoid the kitchen, so I can spare myself of Jun's angry outbursts. Turning, I walked through a door way, into another large room, turned left to walk away from the kitchen and into a small room that was never used. Opening a door that was in that room and stepping into a very tiny den-like room that was practically connected to my room. Though, I was sure to close that one door as quietly as I could. Walking into that den-like room and to the staircase in the corner. Walking up the stairs and to another closed door. Opening the door and stepping into a familiar hallway.

Now, all I had to do was walk to my room.. I knew Faust would be there. So, I slowly walked to my room and opened the door. I was right, Faust was sitting on the bed staring at a picture with tears falling down his cheeks. Shaking my head, I stepped into the room and walked over to Faust, pulling the picture away from him and drying his cheeks when the skeleton-like man looked up. Studying his face for a moment and then I sighed softy.

"Faust.."

"Ren..?"

"I… love you.."

I whispered out those final three words and closed my eyes. Letting myself be taken into Faust arms. Being held in a way I never thought I would be, but it felt so familiar..

"I love you too…Ren.."