"I'm taking a shower." Amy states, her voice soft, as her parents tower over her. They had been yelling at her for nearly 30 minutes now, about how she never should have taken off like that.
"We are not done having this conversation young lady!" Harold screams.
Rose lays a hand on her husbands arm, "let her go Harold, you both need time to cool down."
~*~I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel~*~
Amy stares at the cut on her arm as blood begins to appear on the surface, the pain from the deep cut rushing up her arm.
~*~I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real~*~
Amy doesn't attempt to stop the blood from running off the inside of her arm instead she switches the needle from one hand to the other.
~*~the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting~*~
As Amy begins to cut her left arm she stares at the scabs and scars from the previous cuts. No one had seemed to notice that she had been wearing long sleeves, months before it got cold enough to need them.
~*~try to kill it all away
but I remember everything~*~
At one point she thought that cutting herself would take away the pain in her heart that Colin's death had brought. She had been wrong though, the pain was never gone, and most days she knew that it would never go away. But when she dug into her skin it helped her to forget about all the pain Colin's death had left behind.
~*~what have I become?~*~
Amy couldn't remember when exactly she had starting the cutting on her arm, it had been a couple months after Colin's funereal.
~*~my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end~*~
She had stopped. When her father had caved in and prescribed anti-depressants she had stopped, she had actually started feeling better about Colin leaving her. But now, not only had she lost the one person she had ever truly loved she was losing her father to the whole stupid thing also. She had lost Ephram to a new girl. Somewhere along the way Amy was loosing everyone that had ever meant anything to her. She had even lost Tommy, who was new to her life, courtesy of her father.
~*~you could have it all
my empire of dirt~*~
She hadn't been lying when she had told her father she hated everything about her life. She could honestly have everything taken away from her and feel nothing, she was at that point now.
~*~I will let you down
I will make you hurt~*~
She wouldn't lie though, part of what she had said was to make her father hurt. Maybe so that he would say something to her that would make her hurt in return, anything but to feel so numb all the time. Also always, nothing he said effected her.
~*~I wear my crown of shit
on my liar's chair~*~
She had once had run of the town, Tommy hadn't been wrong. Nor had he been wrong when he said she had traded her tiara in. He was entirely right she had traded, involuntarily, her perfect life in for one she couldn't even recognize as her own, and sometimes it felt like the life wasn't hers and she was just playing a part in a play.
~*~full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair~*~
As much as she tried to convince herself to move on her with her life she couldn't. Her life was gone, there was nothing left of it that she recognized and there was no way she was going to be able to fix it, she'd given up trying a long time ago.
"We are not done having this conversation young lady!" Harold screams.
Rose lays a hand on her husbands arm, "let her go Harold, you both need time to cool down."
~*~I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel~*~
Amy stares at the cut on her arm as blood begins to appear on the surface, the pain from the deep cut rushing up her arm.
~*~I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real~*~
Amy doesn't attempt to stop the blood from running off the inside of her arm instead she switches the needle from one hand to the other.
~*~the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting~*~
As Amy begins to cut her left arm she stares at the scabs and scars from the previous cuts. No one had seemed to notice that she had been wearing long sleeves, months before it got cold enough to need them.
~*~try to kill it all away
but I remember everything~*~
At one point she thought that cutting herself would take away the pain in her heart that Colin's death had brought. She had been wrong though, the pain was never gone, and most days she knew that it would never go away. But when she dug into her skin it helped her to forget about all the pain Colin's death had left behind.
~*~what have I become?~*~
Amy couldn't remember when exactly she had starting the cutting on her arm, it had been a couple months after Colin's funereal.
~*~my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end~*~
She had stopped. When her father had caved in and prescribed anti-depressants she had stopped, she had actually started feeling better about Colin leaving her. But now, not only had she lost the one person she had ever truly loved she was losing her father to the whole stupid thing also. She had lost Ephram to a new girl. Somewhere along the way Amy was loosing everyone that had ever meant anything to her. She had even lost Tommy, who was new to her life, courtesy of her father.
~*~you could have it all
my empire of dirt~*~
She hadn't been lying when she had told her father she hated everything about her life. She could honestly have everything taken away from her and feel nothing, she was at that point now.
~*~I will let you down
I will make you hurt~*~
She wouldn't lie though, part of what she had said was to make her father hurt. Maybe so that he would say something to her that would make her hurt in return, anything but to feel so numb all the time. Also always, nothing he said effected her.
~*~I wear my crown of shit
on my liar's chair~*~
She had once had run of the town, Tommy hadn't been wrong. Nor had he been wrong when he said she had traded her tiara in. He was entirely right she had traded, involuntarily, her perfect life in for one she couldn't even recognize as her own, and sometimes it felt like the life wasn't hers and she was just playing a part in a play.
~*~full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair~*~
As much as she tried to convince herself to move on her with her life she couldn't. Her life was gone, there was nothing left of it that she recognized and there was no way she was going to be able to fix it, she'd given up trying a long time ago.