I could hear the laughter from the newsies as Mush, Blink, Mimic and I
started for our usual selling spot. It ricochet off the walls of the
courtyard of the distribution center like bullets, hitting my ego with the
same effect as a real bullet in a body. Mimic held my hand, looking up at
me worriedly as I scowled. We divvied up the papers and headed to our
respective places. My irritation fading eventually as I got into selling
papers, you just couldn't sell with a scowl. By the time lunch came and we
entered Tibby's the morning had been pushed to the back of my mind.
Crutchy waved us over and it was as if my conversation with him had never
happened as if the last few days had never happened. I welcomed the ideas
of forgetting it ever happened with a smile. Things seemed to be looking
up at least until Spot made his appearance. He smirked at me as he went by
and I smacked him in the back of the head with my roll.
"That was a perfectly good roll." Mush cried watching as it bounced off Spots hard head. Spot glared at me and I smiled innocently.
"It's shameless the way you flirt." Jack teased ruffling my hair like a little sister on his way by me to join Spot. Spot and I matched glares as we both looked at him. Glimmer was not far behind she plopped down as Jack went onto the table where Spot was lounging looking for all the world like a model in a magazine. He was good looking sure, but he had that brooding look and the perfect slouch. I had a feeling that if he had lived in the twentieth century he would have been an actor or a model.
"I ain't takin it back." Jack laughed looking from one of us to the other. "If I didn't know better it's almost like foreplay to you two."
"So how's it hanging?" Glimmer asked before I could loose my temper again. I smiled sweetly at her before answering.
"Not long enough." I replied looking scornfully at Jack and Spot who both looked mortally offended. They had caught my meaning; I ignored them and turned my attention to the girl who was busy plucking pieces of meat from Blinks plate. He protested as she did, but made no move to stop her.
I couldn't help a real smile at the snickers that were still twittering from around the diner. Both Jack and Spot were handsome, charming, and had a commanding aura around them. They had a confidence that drew women like flies to honey. I was no exception my earlier performance had proved that, but still I wasn't willing to be the simpering idiot that they usually entertained themselves with. I had something the other girls didn't the ability to keep from swooning.
If I did anything with Spot it would be on my terms not his and I was determined not to do anything. I knew that a night spent with Spot would not be like the fumbling of my previous encounters. I had no doubt that sex was a well-practiced art to him and pleasing his partner was a matter of pride. He invoked too many confusing feelings. Feelings I was not willing to compound by getting to physically intimate with the Brooklyn leader. Hell, I wasn't going to get physically intimate with anyone, I got too emotionally attached and I wasn't willing to get that involved with anyone until I had a ring on my finger.
It was a practical decision I had made in high school after a few very hurtful encounters. I wasn't a person who could take sex for a moment of pleasure, for me it always brought much deeper feelings. I had to be emotionally involved or it did nothing for me. In high school I had been stupid. I had been naïve and despite the roughness of my life I had yet to learn cynicism. I had thought myself in love and found just how far boys will go for a good time. Found exactly what kind of lies they will tell. I hadn't found anyone that was worth the pain of that kind of emotional attachment usually induced.
I grew up in the twentieth century, remember, I didn't believe in fairy tales or forever when connected with the word love, and love well it was an emotion I was beginning to put up on the shelf with the other two. Besides sex caused too many complications and right now my life was complicated enough. Still the other newsies loved every minute of my banter with Spot, it let them know that when it came to women even he wasn't infallible. They loved the fact that even to their leaders I seemed nearly untouchable.
"So ya got any good sellin spots?" Glimmer asked around a mouthful of Mush's mashed potatoes. Mush just slid the plate to her grapping his roll and munching on it happily. He rolled his eyes as I looked at him in surprise; he was a bottomless pit when it came to food.
"She's gonna eat it either way." He told me and I slid my plate to him. I had lost my appetite the minute Spot had entered the room anyway. He smiled his thanks and attacked the plate like a starving man. I could see Glimmer eyeing it mischievously and shook my head.
"Are you thinking of selling in Manahattan today?" I queried turning my attention back to Glimmer. She nodded as she spooned more potatoes into her mouth.
"Lookin for a partner?" she replied as she swallowed and loaded her spoon again.
"Why not." I sighed sitting back and sipping my root beer watching the other people in the dinner as I did. I was beginning to enjoy the first moment's peace I had had all day. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax wincing at the tight muscles in my neck. Tension, it does wonderful things to the body and I had had enough of it to give a masseur enough to massage for months.
"So Cameo." I heard Spot say, I opened my eyes and looked up at the back of our booth's seat to see Spot leaning against it.
"Can I help you with something Conlon?" I asked the impatience in my tone exaggerated as much as I could make it. He ran a finger down my arm and leaned down to caress where the collar of my shirt and my neck met with his lips. I saw the goose bumps on my arms in reaction to the kiss and fought down the shiver. I looked at him vulnerably trying desperately to remember my cynical vows on the subjects of love and sex. I was caught for a moment with all my shields down unable to do anything other than look at him and wait. My heart pounded as I looked at him, his handsome face so close, the tugging was back making me want to jump out of the booth and into his arms.
"I was wonderin, when ya done sellin maybe ya could come back to Brooklyn and I'll show ya just how long it's hangin."
I sat there for a moment the words slowly sinking into my brain. Once the full meaning of his word hit, I felt the pain that followed. Men of this time period didn't give a proposition like that unless he was talking to a woman of loose morals. In my time it could have been passed off as a stupid pick-up line. One used by men in bars who didn't know how to make the first initial contact. Though they probably would have gotten slapped or at the very least a drink thrown in their face. He had single handedly made me feel cheap and dirty with a single sentence. I should have expected it considering my earlier statement, and my relationship with Spot, but I wasn't ready for it. I felt like it had been a physical blow. My mind was blank and I felt the meaning of those words that he had sneered at me. I felt the feeling all woman I am sure at one time feel when their treated like a whore. That is exactly what he was doing; he was treating me with even less respect than the floozy from the party.
"Sure," I hissed, " Though I doubt you could afford my price seeing as you are only a lowly newsboy."
My voice had been scathing, I didn't take well to Sarah's earlier insult, but at least they had been hurled at me in a moment of passion. Spots words were not, they had been thought out, he knew what he was saying. His words were harder to take because he had but actions to them. What was it with people questioning my morals today?
The place he had kissed burned on my neck like a brand. I slammed my drink down on the table and stood. I couldn't take it. I watched the boys laughing and felt the tears that started to well up in my eyes. There had been too much drama in this day as it was. I had had enough; I was in no mood for this. This time Blink and Mush weren't laughing, neither was Crutchy who had turned nearly purple with rage. They had seen the look that had passed across my face, the one I was still struggling to hide. I pushed past Spot feeling humiliated and furious.
"Ya may be my brother Spot, but sometimes ya a real asshole." I heard Glimmer growl as I walked swiftly to the door wanting nothing more than to just get out of there. I glanced back at Spot and thought I saw a look of apology on his face, as Jack clapped him on the back it shifted to his usual smirk. I shrugged it off; it was probably wishful thinking. The boys at my table were all clamoring to voice their irritation at Spot as I wrenched the door open. Even Jack was beginning to realize that I had not taken it as more verbal bantering. I sighed as I slammed the door behind me; I had flounced out.
Give me a pink dress and call me Sarah, I thought ruefully as I walked down the sidewalk peering into the shops as I passed them. I knew Glimmer was not far behind me, I had heard her follow me out, but she was giving me a little bit of distance. I was grateful for it; I crossed the square just outside the distribution center not really knowing where I was headed. I just needed to walk, to clear my head and to get myself under control. I seemed to be going from one extreme to the other. That morning I had wished I could pull on my anger and I couldn't until it was almost too late. Now I couldn't seem to get rid of it. I struggled to find a happy medium. Why is it that things always seem to come at you at one time?
I meandered down the sidewalk stepping out of the window shopper's way from time to time when I saw the small little seamstress shop. A beautiful lavender gown was displayed artfully in the window. It was made beautifully, as a pretty accomplished seamstress myself I admired the workmanship. I longed for it in a way that only a woman can. I drooled over the satin and the elegant touches of lace here and there. Glimmer stood beside me trying to see what it was that made me stare. She looked confused, but waited patiently. I knew I couldn't afford the dress, but my longing to feel like a woman, made me enter the shop. Spots earlier comments had made me long to look like a proper woman, even for just a moment to feel like a girl worth treating with respect.
"Just a minute." A voice called from the back as the bell above the door told of my arrival. A woman hardly older than girl hood made her way up the short hall way to us and stopped looking us over critically.
"I was wondering if you happen to have any clothes that had been ordered by another woman that haven't come to pick them up?" I said ignoring the disdainful look she hadn't been quick enough to hide. "My mother used to work in a seamstress's shop and I know that sometimes people can't finish paying for what they ordered and I hoped you might have a skirt and a blouse. Maybe some other feminine necessities?"
My hopeful look must have gotten to her because she looked me up and down critically.
"We'll have to get you out of those atrociously loose clothes." She said as she circled me. " I need to judge your size, but I have a blouse that I had not finished embellishing for one woman and a skirt that may be close enough."
She led me to the back room and I began stripping off my shirt and pants until I was left only in my pantaloons and camisole. Glimmer looked at me like I was crazy, I just smiled at her and raised my arms to be measured. "Perfect, just perfect." The seamstress cried in delight and I found the dark cloud over my head lifting. My spirits rose as she moved to one side of the room picking up a relatively plain corset and handing it to me.
"Can you lace this for her?" the seamstress asked absently handing it to Glimmer who looked at it like it was a puzzle. I laughed and took it from her.
"Just lace it like you would your shoes." I told her as I wrapped it around myself and turned my back to her. She shrugged and began lacing tightening as I told her to. I was glad this wasn't like my Elizabethan corset and had hooks up the front of it so I wouldn't have to have anyone lace me in again. I could do it on my own with the hooks once Glimmer got it to the right constriction.
"So tell me why ya doin this?" Glimmer asked as she fought to tie off the ends of the corset.
"I don't think I can explain it to you." I replied. I knew it was confusing for her, she was a full-fledged tomboy, while I was stuck somewhere in between tomboy and girly girl. I knew some day she would feel the need to look like a woman to grab some man's attention. She would understand the need to be feminine and have a man look at her with appreciation. She was really quite pretty, but with the smudges on her face and her man's clothing you had to look close to see the delicate features she tried to hide. She was as pretty as Spot was handsome, it must have run in the family.
The seamstress was back and I tore myself from my thoughts eagerly looking at the pair of blouses and skirts the woman had returned with. A petty coat was hung over one arm and she helped me pull it over my head and situate it over the corset. I breathed comfortably through my diaphragm. You had to learn to breathe in a corset, the first time I had worn one I had nearly passed out.
A skirt of deep rose colored fabric followed and I smiled at the irony of it. My earlier thoughts in my mind as I tucked in the cream colored blouse and buttoned it. Once finished with that we pulled the skirt over my head and the seamstress toyed with the back, moving the button to accommodate my smaller waist. It fit surprisingly well, the seamstress clapped in pleasure, as she looked me up and down. She turned the mirror so I could see myself. Glimmer gave a soft whistle, as I looked myself over critically. The corset created all the right curves; the skirt while not Barbie pink was a soft deep color that screamed of femininity. There were small touches of lace at the collar of the blouse and at the sleeves. I sighed in delight, I felt pretty, and I had needed that.
"Now for your friend." The seamstress said looking Glimmer up and down as she had looked at me.
"No..., no she may have gone crazy, but I ain't." she cried backing up her hands stretched before her. I grinned at her in the mirror a look that matched her earlier mischievousness in my eyes.
"Come on Glimmer." I urged. "Try it on."
"No way." She replied glaring at me. " I aint' gettin all trussed up like a turkey for nothin."
"There isn't any boy you want to impress?" I asked laughing as she continued to back away.
"Not that much." She growled looking at the corset that was dangling from the seamstresses arm.
"You don't have to actually wear it anywhere, just try it on." I pleaded. She looked at me and I knew she was starting to cave. The seamstress and I looked at each other then waited for her response. Finally she let out an exaggerated sigh and reached for the buttons of her shirt.
It didn't take us long to get her dressed. I took a step back and surveyed our work. The skirt was a dark green, the shirt a cream that nearly matched my own, though missing the lace. I smiled at her she was beautiful. She looked at her feet as we pulled her to the mirror to see our handy work. I pulled her chin up and watched in delight as she started. She looked at her reflection as if she had never seen herself before. She smiled and looked at me and I knew she had just joined the few of us that sat between girly girl and tomboy.
"How much?" I asked taking the pouch of coins I always wore under my clothes. I counted out my carefully saved money. My heard pounded as she looked over my money, I knew it wasn't much, but it was all I could save. The seamstress looked at my palm and took a few of the coins leaving me with the majority.
"That isn't nearly enough." I cried looking from her to my coins. Knowing if she had taken all my coins I still wouldn't have paid her enough.
"I've been well paid, the ladies that come in here are not half as appreciative as you have been." She said her eyes shining with happiness. " You have made my day much brighter, besides I don't often get to play dress up any more."
I looked at her closely and realized she was probably barely sixteen. I added a few more coins and smiled thankfully at her, ignoring her protests. The cloth wasn't too costly and I was sure I had paid at least to cover what had come out of her pocket. My heart felt lighter as I changed back into my other clothes and took the box filled with new clothes. Glimmer dimpled at me as she took her own and we made our way back to the Lodging House. There was something about buying myself something pretty that always lifted my mood. Dusk was starting to settle and all the lights blazed welcomingly from the House as we climbed the steps. The first thing we saw was Spot pacing irritably in the common room.
"Where ya been?" he cried as Glimmer stepped in the door. "An what the hell is that?"
"It's Cameo's." Glimmer said handing me the boxes that held her new dress. She blushed and looked at her irritated big brother. " Cameo went shoppin, I was just tryin to clean up ya mess."
I was already half way up the stairs not really willing to deal with Spot, just looking at him made my blood pound. The confusing part is I didn't know if it was in anger or the way he looked his hair mused, his eyes flashing. I tried not to look at him as I made my way up rest of the way up the staircase smiling as I heard Glimmer pounding up behind me yelling at her brother the whole way. He was following her yelling back. I rolled my eyes as I opened the door to the bunkroom.
"Whatcha got there?" Crutchy asked as he caught sight of my boxes and me.
"Nothing." I replied as I made my way to my room and dumped them on the bed. To boys were moving about the room much as they had the night of Brooklyn's party. "What 's going on?"
"We's goin to the carnival tonight." Mush said looking just as curiously as Crutchy was at my purchases. I shut my door and leaned against it.
"Really?" I questioned raising an eyebrow. "The carnival in Central Park? I thought it was in a few days."
"I was wrong." Mush told me his voice excited he looked like he needed a slap boxing competition with Jack to get some of his energy out. I nearly suggested it, but decided against it as Jack brushed by a comb in one hand looking across the room where Spot and Glimmer were still arguing as if wondering if he should break it up. After a moment he turned and went back into the washroom giving me a smile as he went.
"They's havin a concert an everythin." Crutchy told me unable to hide the excitement in his voice. "We's all getting ready."
"Ya better get ready to we's leavin in a little while." Mush said as he rushed off to find his shirt. I couldn't help, but admire the muscles that rippled along his back. Crutchy patted my shoulder and headed off in the direction of his bunk as I watched Glimmer worriedly. Their argument was no longer so loud, but she was gesturing angrily. Finally she broke away from him and came over to me. Spot looked like he was going to follow her, but I quickly pushed Glimmer into my room and slammed the door shut. I fumbled for the candle that sat on the windowpane and eventually managed to get it lighted.
"So are you going to this carnival?" I sighed as I started to take my clothes from the boxes and fold them wishing I had some place to wear them. It had been a foolish purchase, where was I going to go in them. It may not be an opera dress, but they were too nice for selling papers.
"Don't know." She said glumly as she plopped on my bed. " I don't understand men."
"You never will." I promised giving her a small smile pausing and giving her hand a sqeeze. "Is he very mad?"
"Not at me, though I'm the one he's yellin at." Glimmer growled as she leaned against the wall. " I think he's really mad at hisself for earlier. I don't think he knew ya weren't gonna give him what for."
"Are you going to take these home?" I asked her ignoring the questioning look she gave me as she opened the one of the boxes and touched the skirt wistfully.
"Maybe." She replied. We both fell silent and I listened to the noise of the boys in the other room. As I listened and looked at my own clothes longingly an idea flash into my mind. I looked at Glimmer excitedly. "What?"
"We are wearing these to the carnival tonight." I said softly, I took out the corset and shook it out getting the other items of clothing ready as well. I had bought a few of pairs of inexpensive stockings since my arrival. The tights I had worn at the Renaissance Festival long since destroyed for fear the boys would find them. It had been part of getting rid of anything that would be thought of as odd here.
"We are?" she asked nervously looking from the skirt to me. "The boys ain't never gonna let me live this down."
I just laughed as I opened the door and headed for the washroom.
"I'm coming in." I called, I heard groans and some shuffling as I opened the door and walked in. I took a couple of pitchers from the small stack of shelves and filled them up. I avoided looking at any of them knowing just how self-conscious they could be. I grabbed a couple of washcloths and a towel and left.
"Are ya okay? Jack asked worriedly catching me as I nearly ran into him. "I'm fine." I said firmly trying to step around him.
"Ya promise?" He questioned his eyes searching my face before he let me go. "Whatcha doin in there?"
"Getting ready." I replied before I shut my door and handed the pitchers to Glimmer. She watched as I took out my bar of soap and my comb. I set them on the bed next to my clothes and stripped down to my underclothes again. Glimmer caught what I was doing and took a washcloth of her own as I half of the first pitcher into a basin I had found in the attic. I scrubbed my face and arms, cupping the water and rinsing the soap off. We had to empty and refill the water a couple of times before the grime of the day had been rinsed off leaving the soft sent of roses. I rolled the clean stockings up my legs and handed my other pair to Glimmer.
"Well we did the best we can." I sighed. "Put your shoes on before you put on the corset or you will never get them on."
I handed her the boots that she had removed earlier and she nodded. I took my corset from the bed and began hooking it up the front. Glimmer watched for a moment then began hooking up her own.
"It's good enough." She said her fingers fumbling with the unfamiliar task. "I washed this morning with a swim."
"Glimme we's leavin." Spot called through the door, he began opening it, but she threw herself against it and slammed it back shut. I sighed in regret as he managed to pull his fingers out of the way just in time. "Whatta ya doin in there?"
"Nothin ya need to worry about." Glimmer yelled back. " I'll meet ya there."
"I ain't leaven ya alone to walk to Central Park on you own." Spot growled as he stopped pushing on the door. I tried not to giggle at the irritated tone he had.
"I'll walk her there Spot." I heard Mush offer, "I was gonna wait for Cameo anyway."
"You better keep her safe." Spot grumbled his voice fading as he moved away from the door. Glimmer sighed in relief, I laughed as I buttoned my shirt and reached for my skirt.
"Ya already almost done." She cried in dismay, I handed her the petticoat that was left on the bed before pulling my skirt over my head and fastening it.
"Now I can help you get ready." I replied as I handed her the blouse and took the her skirt in my hands. She buttoned her shirt her fingers having trouble with the small buttons. I let out my braid while I waited for her to finish and brushed my hair enjoying the relaxing feeling. When she had finished cussing at the buttons I helped her on with her skirt. I let her brush her own hair, which surprisingly was longer than mine.
" I can't believe how long your hair is." I sighed as I pulled the sides of her hair away from her face with a bit of ribbon I had horded.
"I know, Spot won't let me cut it." she replied looking her the topic of conversation in irritation. She sat back as I finished getting ready using the brush to style my own hair.
"Are you ready?" I asked as I tied off the braid that held the top part of my hair from my face.
"As ready as I'm gonna get." She said looking nervous again.
"You look beautiful." I told her as I opened the door and heard something hit the floor. Mush looked up at me in confusion, he had fallen off the stool he had been sitting on just outside the door.
"Ya wearin a skirt." He said in shock, his soft brown eyes as wide as they would open.
"You're wearing pants." I responded wryly.
"Yeah, but I always wears pants." He retorted as he brushed himself off. He looked Glimmer over appreciatively and I saw her blush. "How did ya get her in a skirt. Spot ain't never been able to do that."
"Spot isn't a girl." I told him as I brushed past him and started for the door. Glimmer mimicked me and gave him a cool look. "We have our ways."
"Cameo." She whispered as Kloppman tipped his hat to us, smiling as we went by.
"What?" I asked turning my head enough to let her know I was listening. I glanced back long enough to see she was still tingling from Mush's look.
"Thanks." She said so softly I almost didn't hear her. I grinned at her as I opened the door and stepped outside.
"That was a perfectly good roll." Mush cried watching as it bounced off Spots hard head. Spot glared at me and I smiled innocently.
"It's shameless the way you flirt." Jack teased ruffling my hair like a little sister on his way by me to join Spot. Spot and I matched glares as we both looked at him. Glimmer was not far behind she plopped down as Jack went onto the table where Spot was lounging looking for all the world like a model in a magazine. He was good looking sure, but he had that brooding look and the perfect slouch. I had a feeling that if he had lived in the twentieth century he would have been an actor or a model.
"I ain't takin it back." Jack laughed looking from one of us to the other. "If I didn't know better it's almost like foreplay to you two."
"So how's it hanging?" Glimmer asked before I could loose my temper again. I smiled sweetly at her before answering.
"Not long enough." I replied looking scornfully at Jack and Spot who both looked mortally offended. They had caught my meaning; I ignored them and turned my attention to the girl who was busy plucking pieces of meat from Blinks plate. He protested as she did, but made no move to stop her.
I couldn't help a real smile at the snickers that were still twittering from around the diner. Both Jack and Spot were handsome, charming, and had a commanding aura around them. They had a confidence that drew women like flies to honey. I was no exception my earlier performance had proved that, but still I wasn't willing to be the simpering idiot that they usually entertained themselves with. I had something the other girls didn't the ability to keep from swooning.
If I did anything with Spot it would be on my terms not his and I was determined not to do anything. I knew that a night spent with Spot would not be like the fumbling of my previous encounters. I had no doubt that sex was a well-practiced art to him and pleasing his partner was a matter of pride. He invoked too many confusing feelings. Feelings I was not willing to compound by getting to physically intimate with the Brooklyn leader. Hell, I wasn't going to get physically intimate with anyone, I got too emotionally attached and I wasn't willing to get that involved with anyone until I had a ring on my finger.
It was a practical decision I had made in high school after a few very hurtful encounters. I wasn't a person who could take sex for a moment of pleasure, for me it always brought much deeper feelings. I had to be emotionally involved or it did nothing for me. In high school I had been stupid. I had been naïve and despite the roughness of my life I had yet to learn cynicism. I had thought myself in love and found just how far boys will go for a good time. Found exactly what kind of lies they will tell. I hadn't found anyone that was worth the pain of that kind of emotional attachment usually induced.
I grew up in the twentieth century, remember, I didn't believe in fairy tales or forever when connected with the word love, and love well it was an emotion I was beginning to put up on the shelf with the other two. Besides sex caused too many complications and right now my life was complicated enough. Still the other newsies loved every minute of my banter with Spot, it let them know that when it came to women even he wasn't infallible. They loved the fact that even to their leaders I seemed nearly untouchable.
"So ya got any good sellin spots?" Glimmer asked around a mouthful of Mush's mashed potatoes. Mush just slid the plate to her grapping his roll and munching on it happily. He rolled his eyes as I looked at him in surprise; he was a bottomless pit when it came to food.
"She's gonna eat it either way." He told me and I slid my plate to him. I had lost my appetite the minute Spot had entered the room anyway. He smiled his thanks and attacked the plate like a starving man. I could see Glimmer eyeing it mischievously and shook my head.
"Are you thinking of selling in Manahattan today?" I queried turning my attention back to Glimmer. She nodded as she spooned more potatoes into her mouth.
"Lookin for a partner?" she replied as she swallowed and loaded her spoon again.
"Why not." I sighed sitting back and sipping my root beer watching the other people in the dinner as I did. I was beginning to enjoy the first moment's peace I had had all day. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax wincing at the tight muscles in my neck. Tension, it does wonderful things to the body and I had had enough of it to give a masseur enough to massage for months.
"So Cameo." I heard Spot say, I opened my eyes and looked up at the back of our booth's seat to see Spot leaning against it.
"Can I help you with something Conlon?" I asked the impatience in my tone exaggerated as much as I could make it. He ran a finger down my arm and leaned down to caress where the collar of my shirt and my neck met with his lips. I saw the goose bumps on my arms in reaction to the kiss and fought down the shiver. I looked at him vulnerably trying desperately to remember my cynical vows on the subjects of love and sex. I was caught for a moment with all my shields down unable to do anything other than look at him and wait. My heart pounded as I looked at him, his handsome face so close, the tugging was back making me want to jump out of the booth and into his arms.
"I was wonderin, when ya done sellin maybe ya could come back to Brooklyn and I'll show ya just how long it's hangin."
I sat there for a moment the words slowly sinking into my brain. Once the full meaning of his word hit, I felt the pain that followed. Men of this time period didn't give a proposition like that unless he was talking to a woman of loose morals. In my time it could have been passed off as a stupid pick-up line. One used by men in bars who didn't know how to make the first initial contact. Though they probably would have gotten slapped or at the very least a drink thrown in their face. He had single handedly made me feel cheap and dirty with a single sentence. I should have expected it considering my earlier statement, and my relationship with Spot, but I wasn't ready for it. I felt like it had been a physical blow. My mind was blank and I felt the meaning of those words that he had sneered at me. I felt the feeling all woman I am sure at one time feel when their treated like a whore. That is exactly what he was doing; he was treating me with even less respect than the floozy from the party.
"Sure," I hissed, " Though I doubt you could afford my price seeing as you are only a lowly newsboy."
My voice had been scathing, I didn't take well to Sarah's earlier insult, but at least they had been hurled at me in a moment of passion. Spots words were not, they had been thought out, he knew what he was saying. His words were harder to take because he had but actions to them. What was it with people questioning my morals today?
The place he had kissed burned on my neck like a brand. I slammed my drink down on the table and stood. I couldn't take it. I watched the boys laughing and felt the tears that started to well up in my eyes. There had been too much drama in this day as it was. I had had enough; I was in no mood for this. This time Blink and Mush weren't laughing, neither was Crutchy who had turned nearly purple with rage. They had seen the look that had passed across my face, the one I was still struggling to hide. I pushed past Spot feeling humiliated and furious.
"Ya may be my brother Spot, but sometimes ya a real asshole." I heard Glimmer growl as I walked swiftly to the door wanting nothing more than to just get out of there. I glanced back at Spot and thought I saw a look of apology on his face, as Jack clapped him on the back it shifted to his usual smirk. I shrugged it off; it was probably wishful thinking. The boys at my table were all clamoring to voice their irritation at Spot as I wrenched the door open. Even Jack was beginning to realize that I had not taken it as more verbal bantering. I sighed as I slammed the door behind me; I had flounced out.
Give me a pink dress and call me Sarah, I thought ruefully as I walked down the sidewalk peering into the shops as I passed them. I knew Glimmer was not far behind me, I had heard her follow me out, but she was giving me a little bit of distance. I was grateful for it; I crossed the square just outside the distribution center not really knowing where I was headed. I just needed to walk, to clear my head and to get myself under control. I seemed to be going from one extreme to the other. That morning I had wished I could pull on my anger and I couldn't until it was almost too late. Now I couldn't seem to get rid of it. I struggled to find a happy medium. Why is it that things always seem to come at you at one time?
I meandered down the sidewalk stepping out of the window shopper's way from time to time when I saw the small little seamstress shop. A beautiful lavender gown was displayed artfully in the window. It was made beautifully, as a pretty accomplished seamstress myself I admired the workmanship. I longed for it in a way that only a woman can. I drooled over the satin and the elegant touches of lace here and there. Glimmer stood beside me trying to see what it was that made me stare. She looked confused, but waited patiently. I knew I couldn't afford the dress, but my longing to feel like a woman, made me enter the shop. Spots earlier comments had made me long to look like a proper woman, even for just a moment to feel like a girl worth treating with respect.
"Just a minute." A voice called from the back as the bell above the door told of my arrival. A woman hardly older than girl hood made her way up the short hall way to us and stopped looking us over critically.
"I was wondering if you happen to have any clothes that had been ordered by another woman that haven't come to pick them up?" I said ignoring the disdainful look she hadn't been quick enough to hide. "My mother used to work in a seamstress's shop and I know that sometimes people can't finish paying for what they ordered and I hoped you might have a skirt and a blouse. Maybe some other feminine necessities?"
My hopeful look must have gotten to her because she looked me up and down critically.
"We'll have to get you out of those atrociously loose clothes." She said as she circled me. " I need to judge your size, but I have a blouse that I had not finished embellishing for one woman and a skirt that may be close enough."
She led me to the back room and I began stripping off my shirt and pants until I was left only in my pantaloons and camisole. Glimmer looked at me like I was crazy, I just smiled at her and raised my arms to be measured. "Perfect, just perfect." The seamstress cried in delight and I found the dark cloud over my head lifting. My spirits rose as she moved to one side of the room picking up a relatively plain corset and handing it to me.
"Can you lace this for her?" the seamstress asked absently handing it to Glimmer who looked at it like it was a puzzle. I laughed and took it from her.
"Just lace it like you would your shoes." I told her as I wrapped it around myself and turned my back to her. She shrugged and began lacing tightening as I told her to. I was glad this wasn't like my Elizabethan corset and had hooks up the front of it so I wouldn't have to have anyone lace me in again. I could do it on my own with the hooks once Glimmer got it to the right constriction.
"So tell me why ya doin this?" Glimmer asked as she fought to tie off the ends of the corset.
"I don't think I can explain it to you." I replied. I knew it was confusing for her, she was a full-fledged tomboy, while I was stuck somewhere in between tomboy and girly girl. I knew some day she would feel the need to look like a woman to grab some man's attention. She would understand the need to be feminine and have a man look at her with appreciation. She was really quite pretty, but with the smudges on her face and her man's clothing you had to look close to see the delicate features she tried to hide. She was as pretty as Spot was handsome, it must have run in the family.
The seamstress was back and I tore myself from my thoughts eagerly looking at the pair of blouses and skirts the woman had returned with. A petty coat was hung over one arm and she helped me pull it over my head and situate it over the corset. I breathed comfortably through my diaphragm. You had to learn to breathe in a corset, the first time I had worn one I had nearly passed out.
A skirt of deep rose colored fabric followed and I smiled at the irony of it. My earlier thoughts in my mind as I tucked in the cream colored blouse and buttoned it. Once finished with that we pulled the skirt over my head and the seamstress toyed with the back, moving the button to accommodate my smaller waist. It fit surprisingly well, the seamstress clapped in pleasure, as she looked me up and down. She turned the mirror so I could see myself. Glimmer gave a soft whistle, as I looked myself over critically. The corset created all the right curves; the skirt while not Barbie pink was a soft deep color that screamed of femininity. There were small touches of lace at the collar of the blouse and at the sleeves. I sighed in delight, I felt pretty, and I had needed that.
"Now for your friend." The seamstress said looking Glimmer up and down as she had looked at me.
"No..., no she may have gone crazy, but I ain't." she cried backing up her hands stretched before her. I grinned at her in the mirror a look that matched her earlier mischievousness in my eyes.
"Come on Glimmer." I urged. "Try it on."
"No way." She replied glaring at me. " I aint' gettin all trussed up like a turkey for nothin."
"There isn't any boy you want to impress?" I asked laughing as she continued to back away.
"Not that much." She growled looking at the corset that was dangling from the seamstresses arm.
"You don't have to actually wear it anywhere, just try it on." I pleaded. She looked at me and I knew she was starting to cave. The seamstress and I looked at each other then waited for her response. Finally she let out an exaggerated sigh and reached for the buttons of her shirt.
It didn't take us long to get her dressed. I took a step back and surveyed our work. The skirt was a dark green, the shirt a cream that nearly matched my own, though missing the lace. I smiled at her she was beautiful. She looked at her feet as we pulled her to the mirror to see our handy work. I pulled her chin up and watched in delight as she started. She looked at her reflection as if she had never seen herself before. She smiled and looked at me and I knew she had just joined the few of us that sat between girly girl and tomboy.
"How much?" I asked taking the pouch of coins I always wore under my clothes. I counted out my carefully saved money. My heard pounded as she looked over my money, I knew it wasn't much, but it was all I could save. The seamstress looked at my palm and took a few of the coins leaving me with the majority.
"That isn't nearly enough." I cried looking from her to my coins. Knowing if she had taken all my coins I still wouldn't have paid her enough.
"I've been well paid, the ladies that come in here are not half as appreciative as you have been." She said her eyes shining with happiness. " You have made my day much brighter, besides I don't often get to play dress up any more."
I looked at her closely and realized she was probably barely sixteen. I added a few more coins and smiled thankfully at her, ignoring her protests. The cloth wasn't too costly and I was sure I had paid at least to cover what had come out of her pocket. My heart felt lighter as I changed back into my other clothes and took the box filled with new clothes. Glimmer dimpled at me as she took her own and we made our way back to the Lodging House. There was something about buying myself something pretty that always lifted my mood. Dusk was starting to settle and all the lights blazed welcomingly from the House as we climbed the steps. The first thing we saw was Spot pacing irritably in the common room.
"Where ya been?" he cried as Glimmer stepped in the door. "An what the hell is that?"
"It's Cameo's." Glimmer said handing me the boxes that held her new dress. She blushed and looked at her irritated big brother. " Cameo went shoppin, I was just tryin to clean up ya mess."
I was already half way up the stairs not really willing to deal with Spot, just looking at him made my blood pound. The confusing part is I didn't know if it was in anger or the way he looked his hair mused, his eyes flashing. I tried not to look at him as I made my way up rest of the way up the staircase smiling as I heard Glimmer pounding up behind me yelling at her brother the whole way. He was following her yelling back. I rolled my eyes as I opened the door to the bunkroom.
"Whatcha got there?" Crutchy asked as he caught sight of my boxes and me.
"Nothing." I replied as I made my way to my room and dumped them on the bed. To boys were moving about the room much as they had the night of Brooklyn's party. "What 's going on?"
"We's goin to the carnival tonight." Mush said looking just as curiously as Crutchy was at my purchases. I shut my door and leaned against it.
"Really?" I questioned raising an eyebrow. "The carnival in Central Park? I thought it was in a few days."
"I was wrong." Mush told me his voice excited he looked like he needed a slap boxing competition with Jack to get some of his energy out. I nearly suggested it, but decided against it as Jack brushed by a comb in one hand looking across the room where Spot and Glimmer were still arguing as if wondering if he should break it up. After a moment he turned and went back into the washroom giving me a smile as he went.
"They's havin a concert an everythin." Crutchy told me unable to hide the excitement in his voice. "We's all getting ready."
"Ya better get ready to we's leavin in a little while." Mush said as he rushed off to find his shirt. I couldn't help, but admire the muscles that rippled along his back. Crutchy patted my shoulder and headed off in the direction of his bunk as I watched Glimmer worriedly. Their argument was no longer so loud, but she was gesturing angrily. Finally she broke away from him and came over to me. Spot looked like he was going to follow her, but I quickly pushed Glimmer into my room and slammed the door shut. I fumbled for the candle that sat on the windowpane and eventually managed to get it lighted.
"So are you going to this carnival?" I sighed as I started to take my clothes from the boxes and fold them wishing I had some place to wear them. It had been a foolish purchase, where was I going to go in them. It may not be an opera dress, but they were too nice for selling papers.
"Don't know." She said glumly as she plopped on my bed. " I don't understand men."
"You never will." I promised giving her a small smile pausing and giving her hand a sqeeze. "Is he very mad?"
"Not at me, though I'm the one he's yellin at." Glimmer growled as she leaned against the wall. " I think he's really mad at hisself for earlier. I don't think he knew ya weren't gonna give him what for."
"Are you going to take these home?" I asked her ignoring the questioning look she gave me as she opened the one of the boxes and touched the skirt wistfully.
"Maybe." She replied. We both fell silent and I listened to the noise of the boys in the other room. As I listened and looked at my own clothes longingly an idea flash into my mind. I looked at Glimmer excitedly. "What?"
"We are wearing these to the carnival tonight." I said softly, I took out the corset and shook it out getting the other items of clothing ready as well. I had bought a few of pairs of inexpensive stockings since my arrival. The tights I had worn at the Renaissance Festival long since destroyed for fear the boys would find them. It had been part of getting rid of anything that would be thought of as odd here.
"We are?" she asked nervously looking from the skirt to me. "The boys ain't never gonna let me live this down."
I just laughed as I opened the door and headed for the washroom.
"I'm coming in." I called, I heard groans and some shuffling as I opened the door and walked in. I took a couple of pitchers from the small stack of shelves and filled them up. I avoided looking at any of them knowing just how self-conscious they could be. I grabbed a couple of washcloths and a towel and left.
"Are ya okay? Jack asked worriedly catching me as I nearly ran into him. "I'm fine." I said firmly trying to step around him.
"Ya promise?" He questioned his eyes searching my face before he let me go. "Whatcha doin in there?"
"Getting ready." I replied before I shut my door and handed the pitchers to Glimmer. She watched as I took out my bar of soap and my comb. I set them on the bed next to my clothes and stripped down to my underclothes again. Glimmer caught what I was doing and took a washcloth of her own as I half of the first pitcher into a basin I had found in the attic. I scrubbed my face and arms, cupping the water and rinsing the soap off. We had to empty and refill the water a couple of times before the grime of the day had been rinsed off leaving the soft sent of roses. I rolled the clean stockings up my legs and handed my other pair to Glimmer.
"Well we did the best we can." I sighed. "Put your shoes on before you put on the corset or you will never get them on."
I handed her the boots that she had removed earlier and she nodded. I took my corset from the bed and began hooking it up the front. Glimmer watched for a moment then began hooking up her own.
"It's good enough." She said her fingers fumbling with the unfamiliar task. "I washed this morning with a swim."
"Glimme we's leavin." Spot called through the door, he began opening it, but she threw herself against it and slammed it back shut. I sighed in regret as he managed to pull his fingers out of the way just in time. "Whatta ya doin in there?"
"Nothin ya need to worry about." Glimmer yelled back. " I'll meet ya there."
"I ain't leaven ya alone to walk to Central Park on you own." Spot growled as he stopped pushing on the door. I tried not to giggle at the irritated tone he had.
"I'll walk her there Spot." I heard Mush offer, "I was gonna wait for Cameo anyway."
"You better keep her safe." Spot grumbled his voice fading as he moved away from the door. Glimmer sighed in relief, I laughed as I buttoned my shirt and reached for my skirt.
"Ya already almost done." She cried in dismay, I handed her the petticoat that was left on the bed before pulling my skirt over my head and fastening it.
"Now I can help you get ready." I replied as I handed her the blouse and took the her skirt in my hands. She buttoned her shirt her fingers having trouble with the small buttons. I let out my braid while I waited for her to finish and brushed my hair enjoying the relaxing feeling. When she had finished cussing at the buttons I helped her on with her skirt. I let her brush her own hair, which surprisingly was longer than mine.
" I can't believe how long your hair is." I sighed as I pulled the sides of her hair away from her face with a bit of ribbon I had horded.
"I know, Spot won't let me cut it." she replied looking her the topic of conversation in irritation. She sat back as I finished getting ready using the brush to style my own hair.
"Are you ready?" I asked as I tied off the braid that held the top part of my hair from my face.
"As ready as I'm gonna get." She said looking nervous again.
"You look beautiful." I told her as I opened the door and heard something hit the floor. Mush looked up at me in confusion, he had fallen off the stool he had been sitting on just outside the door.
"Ya wearin a skirt." He said in shock, his soft brown eyes as wide as they would open.
"You're wearing pants." I responded wryly.
"Yeah, but I always wears pants." He retorted as he brushed himself off. He looked Glimmer over appreciatively and I saw her blush. "How did ya get her in a skirt. Spot ain't never been able to do that."
"Spot isn't a girl." I told him as I brushed past him and started for the door. Glimmer mimicked me and gave him a cool look. "We have our ways."
"Cameo." She whispered as Kloppman tipped his hat to us, smiling as we went by.
"What?" I asked turning my head enough to let her know I was listening. I glanced back long enough to see she was still tingling from Mush's look.
"Thanks." She said so softly I almost didn't hear her. I grinned at her as I opened the door and stepped outside.