I ran through the crowd, dodging people as they rounded corners, I heard
the outraged squawks of the people I clipped and ignored them. Finally I
let myself slow figuring that I had lost the boys. A bench set a little
away from the crowd beckoned me and I sat down, not looking up burying my
head in my hands. I felt awful, for all my bravado I found I felt
emotionally battered. I couldn't take much more of this sparring with
Spot. I was tired of looking for ways to irritate and hurt him. I hadn't
meant to hurt him this last time, but it had happened. I was so lost in my
own thoughts I never saw the lady that sat on the other end of the bench.
She startled me when she laid a hand on my shoulder. I uttered a brief
shriek as I jumped.
"I am sorry." She said simply " I did not intend to frighten you."
Her voice was familiar, it was lilting soft, like a flue on the wind. I looked her over, her skirts were brilliant blue and violet, her hair tied back from her face with a matching scarf, silver and gold bangles slid together jingling on her wrists. I knew she was a gypsy.
"Can I help you?" I asked eyeing her distrustfully. I wasn't afraid she'd steal my first born, which I was sure some of the ladies around here were, but the last gypsy I had met; well we've already gone over that.
"You looked lost child." She told me smiling gently, calm seemed to roll off of her in waves.
"You have no idea." I replied looking out at that crowd. They milled around happily like sheep in a pasture.
"I might." She whispered touching the amulet that hung from my throat. My head swung around with enough force to crack my neck.
"What do you mean?" I questioned my eyes narrowing as she smiled knowingly at me.
"You know."
"What is it with you people and your need to speak in riddles." I cried. "If you know than why me? Why am I here and how in the hell do I get home."
"I do not try to speak in riddles." She said softly, thoughtfully. " I just do not always give the easiest answer."
"I want the easy answer, my small little brain can't keep up with you." I snapped. She placed a hand on my arm in a soothing gesture.
"Easy answers can't always be given." I rolled my eyes, but listened as she continued. " you are here because you were meant to be."
"So you're saying there was some great cosmic mix up and I was born in the wrong time period?" I didn't quite believe her, but I still listened as she shook her head and opened her mouth to answer my question.
"No, you were born where you were meant to be born, there are no mistakes in fate," she explained. " You were not meant to stay in that time. You were meant to be here."
"Great I'm meant to be here, what and the hell does that mean." I sighed the sarcastic bite to my tone frustrating her.
" You were meant to be here. In your own time you were lost, almost dead inside." She told me, I wiggled uncomfortably on the seat how right she was, was frightening. "I know the feelings with in you have already started to stir again. You are beginning to feel happiness, to feel joy, to feel love, but the choice cannot be made for you. If you decide it to be so you may return to where you came from."
"How?"
"You are here because you want to be here, if you do not then you will not." She responded. She opened her mouth to say more and I leaned forward eagerly, but we were interrupted. A small child threw herself into the woman's arms.
"Mama." She cried, " Alexi needs you."
"I must go." She said her voice regretful as she gathered the child in her arms.
"You can't, you haven't told me how I get home." I cried in frustration. The child looked at me her eyes boring into me familiarly. She turned her head, an angry red scar curled from her right eye across her cheek and to her chin. I gasped, the woman looked down at me for a moment then turned.
" You are home." She called over her shoulder as she moved beyond a curtain of people and vanished.
"DAMN it !" I swore ready to hit something, I had almost gotten the answer, but instead I had received more riddles. A lady passing moved past me her pace quickening as she heard my words. She muttered something about my bad manners and a word that sounded like unladylike.
"Oh shove it up your ass." I growled. She looked appalled and I ignored her starting off in a direction not really caring where I ended up.
"Cameo." I heard the voice calling me, but I ignored it. "Cameo."
Unfortunately the voice wouldn't be ignored; Mush grabbed my arm and whirled me around.
"What were you thinking running off without one of us?" He asked. I tried to shrug off his arm, but he held tight. Mimic nearly bowled me over as him and Blink melted from the crowd.
"I wasn't thinking, I was just trying to get away from that over blown pompous ass before I decked him." I replied finally wrestling my arm from Mush.
"Ya interested in him ain't ya?" Mush said softly, looking at me in understanding seeing more beyond my aggravated words than I liked.
"I don't know what you are talking about." I said stubbornly turning on my heel, but he stopped me his hand snagging my arm again. He turned me to look at him and his studied me for a moment. I had managed to pull up my walls again, walls that had been torn to shreds with just one kiss, but they were flimsy things ready to fall due to the rubble foundation that had been left. I felt myself weakening; I wanted to throw myself in Mush's arms and cry like a baby. I held myself back managing to keep control on myself until he pulled me into his arms. There was nothing more than brotherly concern in his face and I found those fragile walls much to my dismay for the third time that day. Tears flooded my eyes, I tried to blink them away, but stubbornly the fell down my cheeks I brushed them away angrily.
"It's okay Cameo, we all need a cry sometimes." He whispered in my ear.
"I can't do this Mush." I said brokenly still refusing to cry. " I can't have feelings for him. I won't let myself be another score mark on his wall. I won't let him use me and toss me aside like all the other stupid girls."
"We won't let him hurt you Cameo." I heard Blinks' voice and felt his hand on my back softly stroking calming me. Hastily I put myself together and pulled back.
"Cameo, why ya cryin?" Mimic asked not understanding what we had been talking about. I ruffled his hair and shook my head. " Are ya gonna take me on the carousel now?"
"Sure squirt." I said laughing shakily, I took the hand he held out and let him pull me off in the direction of the carousel. The calliope music lifted my heart and I found myself laughing as even Blink and Mush threw their pride to the wind and rode with us. They made me laugh even harder as they pretended to race the motionless horsed. I had to grab Mimic to keep him from falling as he tried to ride his horse backwards. I knew they were being silly to make me laugh and I was grateful for it. When we finally made our way back to the group my heart was much lighter. I munched happily on cotton candy, sighing as Mimic took another big handful. He was going to be bouncing around for a while, and he would take forever to clean up. The pink sweet was sticking out of his air in odd spots and made his hands sticky. Mush had found that out the hard way since Mimic was sitting on his shoulders and had grabbed Mush's face when someone had run into them. I chuckled, as a piece of cotton candy fell from Mimic's greedy hands and fell into Mush's hair. Blink hooted in laughter and Mush batted at his hair finally giving up the battle when he almost dumped Mimic to the ground.
"No more for you." I said in a teasing voice as I took it away. He protested loudly, but when Mush set him on the ground he was off. I noticed there were two tables now, Jack, Spot, Snipeshooter, and a couple of the other Brooklyn newsies were seated at one a card game going. Another game was going between Race, Specs, Skittery and Glimmer. Race never looked up from his game as Mimic nearly knocked him off his seat in his haste to tell him all about the rides we had gone on. We had pooled our money to get him on half of them; the other half I had flirted with the operator to get us on. As we neared the tables I saw each of the newsies look up and nod a greeting at us. Spot's eyes lingered on me for a moment, before breezily looking at his hand as if I were not worthy of his notice. I made a mental note to try and tell him I hadn't meant for the newsies to see us dance. That it had been an impulsive moment, I knew he probably wouldn't believe me, but I had to take a shot.
"Are you angry with me?" I asked Glimmer worriedly as I sat next to her.
"No." she shook her head. "He's pretty upset, but he deserved what ya gave 'em for what he said in Tibby's today. I can't feel too sorry for him."
She smiled at me and folded.
"Deal me in Race." I said in between Mimic's excited exclamations. Mush and Blink nodded as Race looked to them curiously.
"Ya actually bettin tonight Cameo?" Race asked as he passed me the cards. I smiled saucily and threw a coin into the growing pot. We played a few rounds that I lost to my surprise. Finally I got a winning hand and I saw Crutchy making his way toward the other table a determined look on his face. I had wondered where he had gotten off to and I was going to ask him, but the look on his face made me stop. There was an anger I had never seen before the usually happy-go- lucky demeanor was gone in favor of this new side I wasn't sure I wanted to see.
"How many Cameo?" Race questioned his voice almost startling me.
"Two." I said passing my cards to him and receiving two in return. My attention went back to Crutchy. He stopped at the other table glaring down at Spot who looked up at him an eyebrow rising as he too caught the look. "Ya playin or not?" Race tapped my arm looking irritated. I looked back at my cards, I had an awesome hand, but I wasn't sure if I should fold. I was afraid that Crutchy was going to get himself hurt.
"Full house." I said laying my cards on the table. Glimmer hooted with glee as the boys groaned each throwing their cards down on the table.
"What's goin on Crutchy?" I heard Spot's voice; it was cool as ice, and deadly as a cobra.
"I want ya to stay away from Cameo." Crutchy said in a warning tone. " I don't want ya playin ya games with her."
I looked up at my name, my hands resting on the table in a gesture that told anyone who was looking I was ready to jump up at a moment's notice. No one did notice though, Crutchy's words had rung out clear as a bell and everyone's attention was on him.
"Ya don't have ta worry about me playin any games." Spot replied his voice taking a bit of a bite. " But if at some point I plan to, there ain't nothin ya gonna be able to do about it."
Thanks to my earlier actions Spot was in a foul mood and I stood worriedly afraid that he might actually snap and attack Crutchy. Crutchy wasn't exactly trying to keep from pushing his buttons either.
"I told ya to leave her alone Spot." Crutchy hissed. " She's a good girl, ya just don't know her, ya don't understand."
"She ain't no virgin mary either." Spot said taking a drag off his cigarette as I moved to stand nearer to him. I could see Spot tensing he was itching for a fight and unfortunately Crutchy had to choose tonight to act like the noble big brother.
"Ya gonna stay away from her." Crutchy growled, it wasn't a question it was an order. Spot sprang to his feet, my heart leapt to my throat as I grabbed his arm.
"Leave him alone Spot." I said with warning of my own.
"Whatta ya gonna do to make me?" Spot leered at me. I closed my eyes, bit back on the retort that came to my lips immediately. I didn't speak to him though I turned my attention to Crutchy.
"I can defend my own honor, thank you." I spoke to Crutchy my attention seeming entirely on him, but I hadn't let go of Spots arm. Crutchy looked back at me the anger in his eyes glittering, but his look softened as he studied me for a moment. He looked away for a moment then backed off, letting Specs lead him away.
"Michael Conlon." I heard Glimmer snap and I dropped his arm letting his sister round on him angrily. "Here I thought ya were a leader and I come to find ya're just a big bully. Mama taught ya better than that, I'm ashamed to call ya my brother."
"Ain't nobody gonna challenge my authority." Spot snapped back. " I don't care who they is, nobody's gonna talk to me like that."
"So ya gonna start beatin on girls and little kids too then?" Glimmer challenged, I sighed thankful that she had taken up the reigns, I wasn't sure I could handle another skirmish with Spot today.
"I'm going home." I said softly to Mush, as much as I was enjoying Glimmer's dressing down I was tired. Blink gathered up Mimic who was trying to stay awake to see the interesting things us grown-ups were yelling about. Mush nodded to me and we snuck away. Kloppman stuck his head out, but didn't say anything as we went up the stairs. Blink put Mimic in the bunk he hadn't slept since that first night and I shut myself in my room. I stripped down hastily not caring about my new clothes as I threw them to the floor in a heap. I was tired; I had never spent a day fighting as much as I had today. There was just something about putting Spot and me in a room together that was like putting a couple of betas in a small fish tank. I grabbed the necklace around my neck and thought about the gypsy's words as I crawled into bed thankful that for the first time in days Mimic was not there. I wished whole heartedly to go home squeezing my eyes shut and wishing with all I had. It didn't work. There in the darkness of my room I cried, really cried for the first time in years. I let all my feelings go, all the fright, the loneliness, the confusion, the frustration, and the hurt of that day poured into my pillow. I fell asleep tears still seeping from the corners of my eyes.
Cards: I'm glad you like my Spot, he can be kind of difficult to write. When are you going to update? There are a few of your stories I've been waiting to read more of.
Falco: Here comes Crutchy again, meaning well, but putting his foot in it. I hope you like this one. I'll let you in on a little secret there is something big that's coming that is going to push Spot and Cameo together. It's going to force them to get along a little bit better.
Ali: Okay fighting is almost over. They've gotten under each other's skin as much as is humanly possible. Soon. I promise... read what I wrote to Falco it's for you too.
Chelci: I'm glad I wasn't the only one amused; I was beginning to get worried. Glimmer is too pissed at her brother's bad behavior to do any comforting... Since I'm writing Glimmer for you that may be a good thing.
JP: Where are you? I haven't seen you all day! AHHHHHHH! Gotta work until 10 tonight. Hope I get to talk to you. I'm brilliant? (does a happy dance.)
Dreamer: I try! Really I do. Actually I'm so hooked on reviews I write because I get that tingling feeling every time I get them. And as for faire.. we're no less sane than the rest of the world, we just are more willing to admit our oddities!
"I am sorry." She said simply " I did not intend to frighten you."
Her voice was familiar, it was lilting soft, like a flue on the wind. I looked her over, her skirts were brilliant blue and violet, her hair tied back from her face with a matching scarf, silver and gold bangles slid together jingling on her wrists. I knew she was a gypsy.
"Can I help you?" I asked eyeing her distrustfully. I wasn't afraid she'd steal my first born, which I was sure some of the ladies around here were, but the last gypsy I had met; well we've already gone over that.
"You looked lost child." She told me smiling gently, calm seemed to roll off of her in waves.
"You have no idea." I replied looking out at that crowd. They milled around happily like sheep in a pasture.
"I might." She whispered touching the amulet that hung from my throat. My head swung around with enough force to crack my neck.
"What do you mean?" I questioned my eyes narrowing as she smiled knowingly at me.
"You know."
"What is it with you people and your need to speak in riddles." I cried. "If you know than why me? Why am I here and how in the hell do I get home."
"I do not try to speak in riddles." She said softly, thoughtfully. " I just do not always give the easiest answer."
"I want the easy answer, my small little brain can't keep up with you." I snapped. She placed a hand on my arm in a soothing gesture.
"Easy answers can't always be given." I rolled my eyes, but listened as she continued. " you are here because you were meant to be."
"So you're saying there was some great cosmic mix up and I was born in the wrong time period?" I didn't quite believe her, but I still listened as she shook her head and opened her mouth to answer my question.
"No, you were born where you were meant to be born, there are no mistakes in fate," she explained. " You were not meant to stay in that time. You were meant to be here."
"Great I'm meant to be here, what and the hell does that mean." I sighed the sarcastic bite to my tone frustrating her.
" You were meant to be here. In your own time you were lost, almost dead inside." She told me, I wiggled uncomfortably on the seat how right she was, was frightening. "I know the feelings with in you have already started to stir again. You are beginning to feel happiness, to feel joy, to feel love, but the choice cannot be made for you. If you decide it to be so you may return to where you came from."
"How?"
"You are here because you want to be here, if you do not then you will not." She responded. She opened her mouth to say more and I leaned forward eagerly, but we were interrupted. A small child threw herself into the woman's arms.
"Mama." She cried, " Alexi needs you."
"I must go." She said her voice regretful as she gathered the child in her arms.
"You can't, you haven't told me how I get home." I cried in frustration. The child looked at me her eyes boring into me familiarly. She turned her head, an angry red scar curled from her right eye across her cheek and to her chin. I gasped, the woman looked down at me for a moment then turned.
" You are home." She called over her shoulder as she moved beyond a curtain of people and vanished.
"DAMN it !" I swore ready to hit something, I had almost gotten the answer, but instead I had received more riddles. A lady passing moved past me her pace quickening as she heard my words. She muttered something about my bad manners and a word that sounded like unladylike.
"Oh shove it up your ass." I growled. She looked appalled and I ignored her starting off in a direction not really caring where I ended up.
"Cameo." I heard the voice calling me, but I ignored it. "Cameo."
Unfortunately the voice wouldn't be ignored; Mush grabbed my arm and whirled me around.
"What were you thinking running off without one of us?" He asked. I tried to shrug off his arm, but he held tight. Mimic nearly bowled me over as him and Blink melted from the crowd.
"I wasn't thinking, I was just trying to get away from that over blown pompous ass before I decked him." I replied finally wrestling my arm from Mush.
"Ya interested in him ain't ya?" Mush said softly, looking at me in understanding seeing more beyond my aggravated words than I liked.
"I don't know what you are talking about." I said stubbornly turning on my heel, but he stopped me his hand snagging my arm again. He turned me to look at him and his studied me for a moment. I had managed to pull up my walls again, walls that had been torn to shreds with just one kiss, but they were flimsy things ready to fall due to the rubble foundation that had been left. I felt myself weakening; I wanted to throw myself in Mush's arms and cry like a baby. I held myself back managing to keep control on myself until he pulled me into his arms. There was nothing more than brotherly concern in his face and I found those fragile walls much to my dismay for the third time that day. Tears flooded my eyes, I tried to blink them away, but stubbornly the fell down my cheeks I brushed them away angrily.
"It's okay Cameo, we all need a cry sometimes." He whispered in my ear.
"I can't do this Mush." I said brokenly still refusing to cry. " I can't have feelings for him. I won't let myself be another score mark on his wall. I won't let him use me and toss me aside like all the other stupid girls."
"We won't let him hurt you Cameo." I heard Blinks' voice and felt his hand on my back softly stroking calming me. Hastily I put myself together and pulled back.
"Cameo, why ya cryin?" Mimic asked not understanding what we had been talking about. I ruffled his hair and shook my head. " Are ya gonna take me on the carousel now?"
"Sure squirt." I said laughing shakily, I took the hand he held out and let him pull me off in the direction of the carousel. The calliope music lifted my heart and I found myself laughing as even Blink and Mush threw their pride to the wind and rode with us. They made me laugh even harder as they pretended to race the motionless horsed. I had to grab Mimic to keep him from falling as he tried to ride his horse backwards. I knew they were being silly to make me laugh and I was grateful for it. When we finally made our way back to the group my heart was much lighter. I munched happily on cotton candy, sighing as Mimic took another big handful. He was going to be bouncing around for a while, and he would take forever to clean up. The pink sweet was sticking out of his air in odd spots and made his hands sticky. Mush had found that out the hard way since Mimic was sitting on his shoulders and had grabbed Mush's face when someone had run into them. I chuckled, as a piece of cotton candy fell from Mimic's greedy hands and fell into Mush's hair. Blink hooted in laughter and Mush batted at his hair finally giving up the battle when he almost dumped Mimic to the ground.
"No more for you." I said in a teasing voice as I took it away. He protested loudly, but when Mush set him on the ground he was off. I noticed there were two tables now, Jack, Spot, Snipeshooter, and a couple of the other Brooklyn newsies were seated at one a card game going. Another game was going between Race, Specs, Skittery and Glimmer. Race never looked up from his game as Mimic nearly knocked him off his seat in his haste to tell him all about the rides we had gone on. We had pooled our money to get him on half of them; the other half I had flirted with the operator to get us on. As we neared the tables I saw each of the newsies look up and nod a greeting at us. Spot's eyes lingered on me for a moment, before breezily looking at his hand as if I were not worthy of his notice. I made a mental note to try and tell him I hadn't meant for the newsies to see us dance. That it had been an impulsive moment, I knew he probably wouldn't believe me, but I had to take a shot.
"Are you angry with me?" I asked Glimmer worriedly as I sat next to her.
"No." she shook her head. "He's pretty upset, but he deserved what ya gave 'em for what he said in Tibby's today. I can't feel too sorry for him."
She smiled at me and folded.
"Deal me in Race." I said in between Mimic's excited exclamations. Mush and Blink nodded as Race looked to them curiously.
"Ya actually bettin tonight Cameo?" Race asked as he passed me the cards. I smiled saucily and threw a coin into the growing pot. We played a few rounds that I lost to my surprise. Finally I got a winning hand and I saw Crutchy making his way toward the other table a determined look on his face. I had wondered where he had gotten off to and I was going to ask him, but the look on his face made me stop. There was an anger I had never seen before the usually happy-go- lucky demeanor was gone in favor of this new side I wasn't sure I wanted to see.
"How many Cameo?" Race questioned his voice almost startling me.
"Two." I said passing my cards to him and receiving two in return. My attention went back to Crutchy. He stopped at the other table glaring down at Spot who looked up at him an eyebrow rising as he too caught the look. "Ya playin or not?" Race tapped my arm looking irritated. I looked back at my cards, I had an awesome hand, but I wasn't sure if I should fold. I was afraid that Crutchy was going to get himself hurt.
"Full house." I said laying my cards on the table. Glimmer hooted with glee as the boys groaned each throwing their cards down on the table.
"What's goin on Crutchy?" I heard Spot's voice; it was cool as ice, and deadly as a cobra.
"I want ya to stay away from Cameo." Crutchy said in a warning tone. " I don't want ya playin ya games with her."
I looked up at my name, my hands resting on the table in a gesture that told anyone who was looking I was ready to jump up at a moment's notice. No one did notice though, Crutchy's words had rung out clear as a bell and everyone's attention was on him.
"Ya don't have ta worry about me playin any games." Spot replied his voice taking a bit of a bite. " But if at some point I plan to, there ain't nothin ya gonna be able to do about it."
Thanks to my earlier actions Spot was in a foul mood and I stood worriedly afraid that he might actually snap and attack Crutchy. Crutchy wasn't exactly trying to keep from pushing his buttons either.
"I told ya to leave her alone Spot." Crutchy hissed. " She's a good girl, ya just don't know her, ya don't understand."
"She ain't no virgin mary either." Spot said taking a drag off his cigarette as I moved to stand nearer to him. I could see Spot tensing he was itching for a fight and unfortunately Crutchy had to choose tonight to act like the noble big brother.
"Ya gonna stay away from her." Crutchy growled, it wasn't a question it was an order. Spot sprang to his feet, my heart leapt to my throat as I grabbed his arm.
"Leave him alone Spot." I said with warning of my own.
"Whatta ya gonna do to make me?" Spot leered at me. I closed my eyes, bit back on the retort that came to my lips immediately. I didn't speak to him though I turned my attention to Crutchy.
"I can defend my own honor, thank you." I spoke to Crutchy my attention seeming entirely on him, but I hadn't let go of Spots arm. Crutchy looked back at me the anger in his eyes glittering, but his look softened as he studied me for a moment. He looked away for a moment then backed off, letting Specs lead him away.
"Michael Conlon." I heard Glimmer snap and I dropped his arm letting his sister round on him angrily. "Here I thought ya were a leader and I come to find ya're just a big bully. Mama taught ya better than that, I'm ashamed to call ya my brother."
"Ain't nobody gonna challenge my authority." Spot snapped back. " I don't care who they is, nobody's gonna talk to me like that."
"So ya gonna start beatin on girls and little kids too then?" Glimmer challenged, I sighed thankful that she had taken up the reigns, I wasn't sure I could handle another skirmish with Spot today.
"I'm going home." I said softly to Mush, as much as I was enjoying Glimmer's dressing down I was tired. Blink gathered up Mimic who was trying to stay awake to see the interesting things us grown-ups were yelling about. Mush nodded to me and we snuck away. Kloppman stuck his head out, but didn't say anything as we went up the stairs. Blink put Mimic in the bunk he hadn't slept since that first night and I shut myself in my room. I stripped down hastily not caring about my new clothes as I threw them to the floor in a heap. I was tired; I had never spent a day fighting as much as I had today. There was just something about putting Spot and me in a room together that was like putting a couple of betas in a small fish tank. I grabbed the necklace around my neck and thought about the gypsy's words as I crawled into bed thankful that for the first time in days Mimic was not there. I wished whole heartedly to go home squeezing my eyes shut and wishing with all I had. It didn't work. There in the darkness of my room I cried, really cried for the first time in years. I let all my feelings go, all the fright, the loneliness, the confusion, the frustration, and the hurt of that day poured into my pillow. I fell asleep tears still seeping from the corners of my eyes.
Cards: I'm glad you like my Spot, he can be kind of difficult to write. When are you going to update? There are a few of your stories I've been waiting to read more of.
Falco: Here comes Crutchy again, meaning well, but putting his foot in it. I hope you like this one. I'll let you in on a little secret there is something big that's coming that is going to push Spot and Cameo together. It's going to force them to get along a little bit better.
Ali: Okay fighting is almost over. They've gotten under each other's skin as much as is humanly possible. Soon. I promise... read what I wrote to Falco it's for you too.
Chelci: I'm glad I wasn't the only one amused; I was beginning to get worried. Glimmer is too pissed at her brother's bad behavior to do any comforting... Since I'm writing Glimmer for you that may be a good thing.
JP: Where are you? I haven't seen you all day! AHHHHHHH! Gotta work until 10 tonight. Hope I get to talk to you. I'm brilliant? (does a happy dance.)
Dreamer: I try! Really I do. Actually I'm so hooked on reviews I write because I get that tingling feeling every time I get them. And as for faire.. we're no less sane than the rest of the world, we just are more willing to admit our oddities!