Life becomes a pattern, ever weaving, ever turning, and yet coming back
upon itself in a new way. I have so forgotten myself in my personal tale I
am leaving out the rest. Sugar coating and glossing over what the time was
like making it seem as if my actions to the past in the way I would act in
the future did not have much effect, but they did. Oh how they did.
My days began to blend together as I settled into the Brooklyn Lodging House as best I could. I woke up in the morning to sell papers with Spot, I returned home after the last of the evening edition had been sold and I disappeared into Glimmers' room, which we were now sharing, or to the fire escape. I avoided the Brooklyn Newsies and they seemed happy with that.
The difference between Manhattan and Brooklyn was like night and day. The Manhattan Newsies had accepted me, they thought I was mentally imbalanced, but they had accepted me despite it. Brooklyn was another matter, they too thought I was imbalanced, but they didn't accept me they shunned me. I was a woman, they were men, and for them there could be no middle ground. I dressed like a man, spoke like a man, acted like a man and carried myself with an arrogance they didn't like.
I had power and power in a woman was not to be tolerated, it demeaned the masculinity of the male race. It usurped their power and brought women equal to them. There was no equality in this time; there were no women's rights. I had forgotten that in the leniency of Manhattan, ignoring the irritated looks when I did or said something that showed my lack of understanding of a woman's proper place. For Manhattan there was no middle ground either, but they let most of my antics go because they were amusing. The fact that I had made friends with some of the most well respected newsies helped as well. This was a time where if a woman was beaten she deserved it and if woman was raped she must have brought it upon herself, she must have pushed him to it in some way.
My mode of dress was a man's and it did not sit well with them. They looked on my as dangerous, with a fear of women making themselves equal sitting in their bellies like lead. I was looked on like a suffragette though I had made no move to attended the rallies and parades that had sprung up of late. Yes, the turn of the century would bring with it woman's rights, but it was also a dangerous time to be a woman of the future. For all those rights that were being fought for that I had taken for granted in my time were not instated yet. Though the suffragettes were fighting it wouldn't be for another seventeen years that women would even win the ability to vote in the state of New York. To the men that surrounded me day in and day out I was a constant reminder at the way women were changing.
To top it off I was looked on as a Jezebel; for my forwardness with the male race, for my wry and bawdy humor. Everyone had seen my display with Ox, everyone had seen me act in an unseemly manner and they assumed the worst about me. I was not a woman to be controlled, I as not a woman to be meek and take what they said like it or not. I was a woman who had defied their leader and was one who had been seen kissing their leader. I had been groped when Spot was not around, taunted and insulted. It was not a pleasant position to be in.
I will reiterate that the Manhattan boys had spoiled me as I had been amusing enough for them to allow me to do as I pleased, but Brooklyn was not amused. As time went on I began to wonder if Manhattan had the same view, if I had been so blinded by their tolerance I had missed the fact that they believed the worst of me as the Brooklyn newsies did. The thought was depressing.
As for Glimmer, well Glimmer was different than I was. She had been a tomboy all of her life and had been raised with most of these boys who looked upon her like a little sister. Add that to the fact she was Spot Conlon's sister, the fact that only Spot had the authority to reprimand her actions or dress and she had a lot more freedom than was allowed to me. They didn't approve, but their affection for her made them treat her like the Manhattan Newsies treated me.
I watched Glimmer in the common room with them hungrily wishing I too could be a part of everything that was happening, but when I entered the room everyone hushed. I wasn't allowed to join in the poker games or any of the other fun that went on. I heard their whispers when I talked with Spot and knew what they thought.
Manhattan thought I was witty and amusing, Brooklyn thought I was a loud mouth and obnoxious. Manhattan didn't like the way I dressed, but accepted it because it kept them from having to defend me on the streets like they would have if I had been dressed in skirts. Brooklyn didn't accept it, not a day passed by when I didn't hear a taunt on my mode of dress or my "purity" questioned.
Glimmer split her attention between helping Spot and the moments she could steal away with Skittery. Spot was oblivious caught in the dispute with the leader of the Bronx over his newsie, Ox. It didn't help that they knew Spot didn't think much more of my morals on the subject of sex than they did. I was a bad girl, eventually I had a feeling they would ignore Spot's momentary claim on me. I could see it in their eyes when I found the courage to venture from Glimmers room or the fire escape. It was only a matter of time before the restraint of the newsies broke; I knew I was in danger. However, this didn't stop me from taunting them, stupid, as it was it didn't.
"Why don't ya get a skirt?" I heard a voice taunt as I made my way past them to the stairs so I could disappear into Glimmer's room. It had been a hard selling day and Spot had made his way upstairs leaving me to finish my smoke on the stairs of the Lodging House confident if anything happened his boys would deal with it. I wondered if they actually would.
"Why don't you?" I countered without even looking to see who the culprit was. I was tired of it all, I wanted to go home. Whether that was Manhattan or the future I didn't care as long as I was away from these bastards. Rough hands grabbed me about the waist and pulled me down onto their lap. Furious I struggled, but strong arms held me.
"Ya too good for the likes of us?" the voice sneered. "Only Spot for ya, ya ain't willin to spread yaself around?"
Turning I slapped the man who held me hard enough to leave a bright red handprint across his cheek. His self-satisfied look disappeared and I found myself tumbling to the ground as he stood. I pushed myself up raising my fist to protect myself from the black look he gave me.
"Whatta ya say boys, we gonna let a woman act like she's a man?" he asked in a deadly calm voice as he reached for me.
"No." I heard a few of the boys say. Others looked uneasy as they glanced around looking anywhere, but at me. I tried to dodge for the stairs, but found myself grabbed by my arm and pulled against the very newsie that had taunted me.
"What's goin on here?" Spot stood at the top of the staircase looking down with an irate look on his face.
"We's just havin a little fun boss." The man who held me said releasing me immediately. I stumbled back and landed hard on my rear. "It ain't fair all the girls ya got we ain't allowed a little fun."
"Ya know ya ain't allowed to have fun with any of me girls until I'm through with them." Spot said as he reached the bottom of the stairs and took my arm. He pulled me to my feet and I looked at him gratefully. I wasn't happy with his choice of words, but if it got the boys to let me alone I'd take what I could get. The boys backed away from his menacing look and I sighed in relief. He glared at me and pulled me up the stairs. I didn't like the look on his face as he dragged me through the bunkroom to the small room he called his. He slammed the door shut; his hands rested upon the worn wood his head down for a moment before he turned to me.
"Whatta ya doin while I haven't been around Cameo?" he asked the anger in his voice under tight control. I looked into those eyes that seemed to both burn and freeze at the same time and backed away.
"What do you mean what have I been doing?" I answered with a question of my own.
"I mean is ya so lonely ya givin yaself to others before ya even do to me?"
I looked at him blankly; my heart felt like it had been delivered a deadly blow, tears filled my eyes. Fury and jealousy raged in his eyes, they filled my vision and I found I could not respond to that statement. His face darkened as if my silence had answered his question. His hands gripped my arms in a bruising grip as he brought his lips upon mine, his kiss just as bruising. His hands left my arms to wonder where I hadn't let him touch and I fought him the tears racing each other down my cheeks like the horses at the racetrack. Finally I broke away my flesh crawling from the manner in which he had touched me. His anger still hadn't abated and I backed away trying to edge my way to the door.
"Ain't nobody gonna touch what's mine." He growled as he backed me against the wall, his hands slamming into it on either side of my head. "Ya mine whether ya like it or not. So tell me what you've been doin, be honest."
"How dare you!" I cried raising my hand to afford his cheek the same punishment I had inflicted on the other boy down stairs. "How dare you, you asshole."
"Come on Cameo, we both know ya don't always say no." he sneered "Ya admitted to me on the docks ya weren't savin yaself like a good girl."
My heart crumbled like ashes brushed by the breeze, I hadn't done anything and I had a feeling that trying to convince him of that would be like trying to convince a pit bull he didn't want a bone.
"I was not with any of your boys." I said softly. "Though your high opinion of me has given them the impression that I am a whore."
"Your actions have given them that idea." Spot snapped. " We went through this, the way ya act makes everyone think ya one of those girls who believe a woman should be equal to a man. Who believe that they should do as a man does. My boys had been complainin to me all week."
"Why shouldn't women be equal?" my voice rang out and the anger was building in me. "Women are not children to be lead around by the hand. We are just as smart as you, the only thing we are lacking is the strength. Which I believe we more than make up for it in brains."
"I'll tell ya why they shouldn't because who's gonna raise the children? Who's gonna take care of the home, who's gonna do what needs to be done?" Spot threw at me.
"They want to vote, what is the harm in them having a voice in the country they live in? " I responded, men could be so infuriatingly chauvinistic sometimes. "Voting is not going to keep them from their homes."
I felt a little guilty as I said it because it was a lie, the suffragette movement would be the beginning of the fight for women's rights. Eventually it would lead to the career women of the Twentieth Century, but I couldn't very well tell him that.
"It's just the beginning pretty soon they's gonna want to be takin over mens jobs and tryin to bring home the bacon. " he growled, I shook my head, if only he knew. " A woman's place is at home to take care of things that woman are best at, if that changes then America will go to hell in a hand basket."
"Taking care of things at home is not a job women alone can handle, men can too." I cried. "Both the man and woman can. Marriage should be a partnership not a dictatorship."
" Marriage is not a dictatorship Briar." He said softly as he looked out the window for a moment. "My father taught me that a woman's place is beside her husband, but my mother taught me that her role was harder than my father's ever was. Marriage is a partnership. The woman's role is no less difficult than the man's each has to work together to make a home. I had a home once, it's gone now, but one day I hope I can share that same partnership with someone else. Someone that does not fear marriage as a way of repression, but looks on it as the partnership it was meant to be. Do you wish to be a man Briar? Do ya wish to never experience life in the way it was meant to be lived? I don't hold nothing against a woman votin and I ain't desputin they's smart, I'm disputin the idea of them abandoning their homes to live as a man. 'Cause that's what's gonna happen, they're gonna leave their homes and the family as we know it's gonna fall apart."
I was shocked to hear such a deep response some from him. Not that I doubted his intelligence, on the contrary. However, listening to the bad grammar day in and day out one tends to be surprised when the other speaks in an articulate manner.
Listening to his words it hit me with a thought I had never allowed to surface. I had never wanted to be a career woman; I had never minded the traditional roles of man and woman. While I would never be the submissive twit, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother and wife. I had felt the tugging for so long, but had ignored them because in the future women were taught to reject the traditional roles, to become career women, to forget the age-old way that man and woman had split the chores of life. Was that what the gypsy had meant by I belonged here? That I was too spirited and free to fit into the Renaissance, but old fashioned enough I belonged in a time where the modern day and traditional day were melding together?
"No," I said slowly trying out the feeling of the words I spoke. " I would love to be nothing more that, but I will not be dominated."
"Ya ain't the type to live with a weak man Briar. So that leaves a man who is willin to let ya get away with a little bit, but not afraid ta tell ya off." He told me his look soft now as he looked down at me. "So tell me the boys has been lyin and ya haven't been doin anything behind me back?"
I nodded; still stung he would have even thought it. His smile lit up his face and made me forget my anger in the joy of basking in it's light.
"I'm sorry." He whispered as he kissed my forehead, part of me pushed to leave in a huff, though this time I listened instead to the smaller voice that told me to let it go. I knew how hard it was for him to apologize so I nodded and did as it instructed. Tears streaked my cheeks and sparkled in my eyes as he gently brushed them away with his knuckles. His kiss was as soft as his earlier had been hard, his fingers caressing my cheek as they brushed my hair back and tangled in my hair. I responded shyly afraid of what damage this kiss could do. I knew what he thought and I wanted to dispel those thoughts from his mind. I would keep my vows. His hands dropped to my waist and slid up my back to pull me into a tight embrace. My head fell back as he rained kissed down my throat, it took all my self- control to stop him just before he reached where my shirt began.
"Michael." I whispered trying to pull back. It seemed right to call him that, Spot belonged to the newsies, but Michael could belong to me. He looked at me his look questioning; his surprise at his true name rolling off my lips in his eyes.
He was as multifaceted as a gem, one minute the gentle man with the sweet kisses and caresses, another the hard man with glittering eyes, the artist who hurt so deeply for the friend he had lost, the fierce man who protected what was his, and another, a new one to add to the sides of him I had seen was the jealous man who would not allow what was his to be possessed by anyone else. I loved them all, I realized, the thought scared me as I had tried never to allow that kind of emotion to be directed towards a man. Yet somewhere in all our fighting I had fallen for him.
" I'm not going to do this." I sighed pulling the collar of my shirt closed wishing with all my heart I could let him. Even if I hadn't made my personal vows, I found I wanted him to respect me and he wouldn't if I let him do, as he wanted. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine before releasing me.
"I'm not going to be able to entirely change." I said softly afraid of how he might react to those words. " I am the way I am."
"If ya weren't who would I have to knock me down a peg or two when I need it?" Spot replied grinning at me, " If ya ever get married Briar promise me ya'll marry a man that won't curb that spirit."
"You just berated me for acting like a man." I cried.
"Ya take it too far sometimes." Spot told me. " Ya gotta tone it down a bit, but I ain't gonna complain if ya speak ya mind. It's better than those idiot women who wander through here from time to time."
"I man never be a lady as you know the definition Michael." I warned, as I started for the open window ready for the solitude of the roof. The fire escape was not enough there was much I needed to sort out. He let me go, studying me as I did. I swung my leg over the sill and did like wise with the other standing firmly on the fire escape.
"Briar?" he called stopping me before I disappeared up the next set of stairs. I stopped and turned to look. His hair fell into his eyes and he brushed at it impatiently. "You're a lady, I'll soak anyone who says otherwise."
"Explain that to your boys." I called as I continued up the stairs feeling like I as walking on air.
I'm afraid I strayed from my first purpose and that was to demonstrate the difficulties that would arise from a person in the future living in the past. This is the biggest problem I figured Cameo would face. Hope it was good!
Cards: Thank you for updating, now I'm going to be a brat and tell you to update again. Thanks for your review.
Chelci: Honey I think that the time I'm trying for would have had you both hung, but I promise I will allow her to be more loving. (Just not in that way)
Falco: (Crawls out from under the waffles and pixi sticks I'm buried under.) Got any tums? Thank you I hope you liked this chapter, it's on a much more serious note.
Ali: I love you too! He he he, I know they are fighting again, but can life between Spot and Cameo ever be sickly sweet and happy? I don't think either of them would be happy with that. Hope it has enough romance for you though.
Dreamer: Thank you your compliments are making me blush! I hope you enjoyed this one!
My days began to blend together as I settled into the Brooklyn Lodging House as best I could. I woke up in the morning to sell papers with Spot, I returned home after the last of the evening edition had been sold and I disappeared into Glimmers' room, which we were now sharing, or to the fire escape. I avoided the Brooklyn Newsies and they seemed happy with that.
The difference between Manhattan and Brooklyn was like night and day. The Manhattan Newsies had accepted me, they thought I was mentally imbalanced, but they had accepted me despite it. Brooklyn was another matter, they too thought I was imbalanced, but they didn't accept me they shunned me. I was a woman, they were men, and for them there could be no middle ground. I dressed like a man, spoke like a man, acted like a man and carried myself with an arrogance they didn't like.
I had power and power in a woman was not to be tolerated, it demeaned the masculinity of the male race. It usurped their power and brought women equal to them. There was no equality in this time; there were no women's rights. I had forgotten that in the leniency of Manhattan, ignoring the irritated looks when I did or said something that showed my lack of understanding of a woman's proper place. For Manhattan there was no middle ground either, but they let most of my antics go because they were amusing. The fact that I had made friends with some of the most well respected newsies helped as well. This was a time where if a woman was beaten she deserved it and if woman was raped she must have brought it upon herself, she must have pushed him to it in some way.
My mode of dress was a man's and it did not sit well with them. They looked on my as dangerous, with a fear of women making themselves equal sitting in their bellies like lead. I was looked on like a suffragette though I had made no move to attended the rallies and parades that had sprung up of late. Yes, the turn of the century would bring with it woman's rights, but it was also a dangerous time to be a woman of the future. For all those rights that were being fought for that I had taken for granted in my time were not instated yet. Though the suffragettes were fighting it wouldn't be for another seventeen years that women would even win the ability to vote in the state of New York. To the men that surrounded me day in and day out I was a constant reminder at the way women were changing.
To top it off I was looked on as a Jezebel; for my forwardness with the male race, for my wry and bawdy humor. Everyone had seen my display with Ox, everyone had seen me act in an unseemly manner and they assumed the worst about me. I was not a woman to be controlled, I as not a woman to be meek and take what they said like it or not. I was a woman who had defied their leader and was one who had been seen kissing their leader. I had been groped when Spot was not around, taunted and insulted. It was not a pleasant position to be in.
I will reiterate that the Manhattan boys had spoiled me as I had been amusing enough for them to allow me to do as I pleased, but Brooklyn was not amused. As time went on I began to wonder if Manhattan had the same view, if I had been so blinded by their tolerance I had missed the fact that they believed the worst of me as the Brooklyn newsies did. The thought was depressing.
As for Glimmer, well Glimmer was different than I was. She had been a tomboy all of her life and had been raised with most of these boys who looked upon her like a little sister. Add that to the fact she was Spot Conlon's sister, the fact that only Spot had the authority to reprimand her actions or dress and she had a lot more freedom than was allowed to me. They didn't approve, but their affection for her made them treat her like the Manhattan Newsies treated me.
I watched Glimmer in the common room with them hungrily wishing I too could be a part of everything that was happening, but when I entered the room everyone hushed. I wasn't allowed to join in the poker games or any of the other fun that went on. I heard their whispers when I talked with Spot and knew what they thought.
Manhattan thought I was witty and amusing, Brooklyn thought I was a loud mouth and obnoxious. Manhattan didn't like the way I dressed, but accepted it because it kept them from having to defend me on the streets like they would have if I had been dressed in skirts. Brooklyn didn't accept it, not a day passed by when I didn't hear a taunt on my mode of dress or my "purity" questioned.
Glimmer split her attention between helping Spot and the moments she could steal away with Skittery. Spot was oblivious caught in the dispute with the leader of the Bronx over his newsie, Ox. It didn't help that they knew Spot didn't think much more of my morals on the subject of sex than they did. I was a bad girl, eventually I had a feeling they would ignore Spot's momentary claim on me. I could see it in their eyes when I found the courage to venture from Glimmers room or the fire escape. It was only a matter of time before the restraint of the newsies broke; I knew I was in danger. However, this didn't stop me from taunting them, stupid, as it was it didn't.
"Why don't ya get a skirt?" I heard a voice taunt as I made my way past them to the stairs so I could disappear into Glimmer's room. It had been a hard selling day and Spot had made his way upstairs leaving me to finish my smoke on the stairs of the Lodging House confident if anything happened his boys would deal with it. I wondered if they actually would.
"Why don't you?" I countered without even looking to see who the culprit was. I was tired of it all, I wanted to go home. Whether that was Manhattan or the future I didn't care as long as I was away from these bastards. Rough hands grabbed me about the waist and pulled me down onto their lap. Furious I struggled, but strong arms held me.
"Ya too good for the likes of us?" the voice sneered. "Only Spot for ya, ya ain't willin to spread yaself around?"
Turning I slapped the man who held me hard enough to leave a bright red handprint across his cheek. His self-satisfied look disappeared and I found myself tumbling to the ground as he stood. I pushed myself up raising my fist to protect myself from the black look he gave me.
"Whatta ya say boys, we gonna let a woman act like she's a man?" he asked in a deadly calm voice as he reached for me.
"No." I heard a few of the boys say. Others looked uneasy as they glanced around looking anywhere, but at me. I tried to dodge for the stairs, but found myself grabbed by my arm and pulled against the very newsie that had taunted me.
"What's goin on here?" Spot stood at the top of the staircase looking down with an irate look on his face.
"We's just havin a little fun boss." The man who held me said releasing me immediately. I stumbled back and landed hard on my rear. "It ain't fair all the girls ya got we ain't allowed a little fun."
"Ya know ya ain't allowed to have fun with any of me girls until I'm through with them." Spot said as he reached the bottom of the stairs and took my arm. He pulled me to my feet and I looked at him gratefully. I wasn't happy with his choice of words, but if it got the boys to let me alone I'd take what I could get. The boys backed away from his menacing look and I sighed in relief. He glared at me and pulled me up the stairs. I didn't like the look on his face as he dragged me through the bunkroom to the small room he called his. He slammed the door shut; his hands rested upon the worn wood his head down for a moment before he turned to me.
"Whatta ya doin while I haven't been around Cameo?" he asked the anger in his voice under tight control. I looked into those eyes that seemed to both burn and freeze at the same time and backed away.
"What do you mean what have I been doing?" I answered with a question of my own.
"I mean is ya so lonely ya givin yaself to others before ya even do to me?"
I looked at him blankly; my heart felt like it had been delivered a deadly blow, tears filled my eyes. Fury and jealousy raged in his eyes, they filled my vision and I found I could not respond to that statement. His face darkened as if my silence had answered his question. His hands gripped my arms in a bruising grip as he brought his lips upon mine, his kiss just as bruising. His hands left my arms to wonder where I hadn't let him touch and I fought him the tears racing each other down my cheeks like the horses at the racetrack. Finally I broke away my flesh crawling from the manner in which he had touched me. His anger still hadn't abated and I backed away trying to edge my way to the door.
"Ain't nobody gonna touch what's mine." He growled as he backed me against the wall, his hands slamming into it on either side of my head. "Ya mine whether ya like it or not. So tell me what you've been doin, be honest."
"How dare you!" I cried raising my hand to afford his cheek the same punishment I had inflicted on the other boy down stairs. "How dare you, you asshole."
"Come on Cameo, we both know ya don't always say no." he sneered "Ya admitted to me on the docks ya weren't savin yaself like a good girl."
My heart crumbled like ashes brushed by the breeze, I hadn't done anything and I had a feeling that trying to convince him of that would be like trying to convince a pit bull he didn't want a bone.
"I was not with any of your boys." I said softly. "Though your high opinion of me has given them the impression that I am a whore."
"Your actions have given them that idea." Spot snapped. " We went through this, the way ya act makes everyone think ya one of those girls who believe a woman should be equal to a man. Who believe that they should do as a man does. My boys had been complainin to me all week."
"Why shouldn't women be equal?" my voice rang out and the anger was building in me. "Women are not children to be lead around by the hand. We are just as smart as you, the only thing we are lacking is the strength. Which I believe we more than make up for it in brains."
"I'll tell ya why they shouldn't because who's gonna raise the children? Who's gonna take care of the home, who's gonna do what needs to be done?" Spot threw at me.
"They want to vote, what is the harm in them having a voice in the country they live in? " I responded, men could be so infuriatingly chauvinistic sometimes. "Voting is not going to keep them from their homes."
I felt a little guilty as I said it because it was a lie, the suffragette movement would be the beginning of the fight for women's rights. Eventually it would lead to the career women of the Twentieth Century, but I couldn't very well tell him that.
"It's just the beginning pretty soon they's gonna want to be takin over mens jobs and tryin to bring home the bacon. " he growled, I shook my head, if only he knew. " A woman's place is at home to take care of things that woman are best at, if that changes then America will go to hell in a hand basket."
"Taking care of things at home is not a job women alone can handle, men can too." I cried. "Both the man and woman can. Marriage should be a partnership not a dictatorship."
" Marriage is not a dictatorship Briar." He said softly as he looked out the window for a moment. "My father taught me that a woman's place is beside her husband, but my mother taught me that her role was harder than my father's ever was. Marriage is a partnership. The woman's role is no less difficult than the man's each has to work together to make a home. I had a home once, it's gone now, but one day I hope I can share that same partnership with someone else. Someone that does not fear marriage as a way of repression, but looks on it as the partnership it was meant to be. Do you wish to be a man Briar? Do ya wish to never experience life in the way it was meant to be lived? I don't hold nothing against a woman votin and I ain't desputin they's smart, I'm disputin the idea of them abandoning their homes to live as a man. 'Cause that's what's gonna happen, they're gonna leave their homes and the family as we know it's gonna fall apart."
I was shocked to hear such a deep response some from him. Not that I doubted his intelligence, on the contrary. However, listening to the bad grammar day in and day out one tends to be surprised when the other speaks in an articulate manner.
Listening to his words it hit me with a thought I had never allowed to surface. I had never wanted to be a career woman; I had never minded the traditional roles of man and woman. While I would never be the submissive twit, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother and wife. I had felt the tugging for so long, but had ignored them because in the future women were taught to reject the traditional roles, to become career women, to forget the age-old way that man and woman had split the chores of life. Was that what the gypsy had meant by I belonged here? That I was too spirited and free to fit into the Renaissance, but old fashioned enough I belonged in a time where the modern day and traditional day were melding together?
"No," I said slowly trying out the feeling of the words I spoke. " I would love to be nothing more that, but I will not be dominated."
"Ya ain't the type to live with a weak man Briar. So that leaves a man who is willin to let ya get away with a little bit, but not afraid ta tell ya off." He told me his look soft now as he looked down at me. "So tell me the boys has been lyin and ya haven't been doin anything behind me back?"
I nodded; still stung he would have even thought it. His smile lit up his face and made me forget my anger in the joy of basking in it's light.
"I'm sorry." He whispered as he kissed my forehead, part of me pushed to leave in a huff, though this time I listened instead to the smaller voice that told me to let it go. I knew how hard it was for him to apologize so I nodded and did as it instructed. Tears streaked my cheeks and sparkled in my eyes as he gently brushed them away with his knuckles. His kiss was as soft as his earlier had been hard, his fingers caressing my cheek as they brushed my hair back and tangled in my hair. I responded shyly afraid of what damage this kiss could do. I knew what he thought and I wanted to dispel those thoughts from his mind. I would keep my vows. His hands dropped to my waist and slid up my back to pull me into a tight embrace. My head fell back as he rained kissed down my throat, it took all my self- control to stop him just before he reached where my shirt began.
"Michael." I whispered trying to pull back. It seemed right to call him that, Spot belonged to the newsies, but Michael could belong to me. He looked at me his look questioning; his surprise at his true name rolling off my lips in his eyes.
He was as multifaceted as a gem, one minute the gentle man with the sweet kisses and caresses, another the hard man with glittering eyes, the artist who hurt so deeply for the friend he had lost, the fierce man who protected what was his, and another, a new one to add to the sides of him I had seen was the jealous man who would not allow what was his to be possessed by anyone else. I loved them all, I realized, the thought scared me as I had tried never to allow that kind of emotion to be directed towards a man. Yet somewhere in all our fighting I had fallen for him.
" I'm not going to do this." I sighed pulling the collar of my shirt closed wishing with all my heart I could let him. Even if I hadn't made my personal vows, I found I wanted him to respect me and he wouldn't if I let him do, as he wanted. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine before releasing me.
"I'm not going to be able to entirely change." I said softly afraid of how he might react to those words. " I am the way I am."
"If ya weren't who would I have to knock me down a peg or two when I need it?" Spot replied grinning at me, " If ya ever get married Briar promise me ya'll marry a man that won't curb that spirit."
"You just berated me for acting like a man." I cried.
"Ya take it too far sometimes." Spot told me. " Ya gotta tone it down a bit, but I ain't gonna complain if ya speak ya mind. It's better than those idiot women who wander through here from time to time."
"I man never be a lady as you know the definition Michael." I warned, as I started for the open window ready for the solitude of the roof. The fire escape was not enough there was much I needed to sort out. He let me go, studying me as I did. I swung my leg over the sill and did like wise with the other standing firmly on the fire escape.
"Briar?" he called stopping me before I disappeared up the next set of stairs. I stopped and turned to look. His hair fell into his eyes and he brushed at it impatiently. "You're a lady, I'll soak anyone who says otherwise."
"Explain that to your boys." I called as I continued up the stairs feeling like I as walking on air.
I'm afraid I strayed from my first purpose and that was to demonstrate the difficulties that would arise from a person in the future living in the past. This is the biggest problem I figured Cameo would face. Hope it was good!
Cards: Thank you for updating, now I'm going to be a brat and tell you to update again. Thanks for your review.
Chelci: Honey I think that the time I'm trying for would have had you both hung, but I promise I will allow her to be more loving. (Just not in that way)
Falco: (Crawls out from under the waffles and pixi sticks I'm buried under.) Got any tums? Thank you I hope you liked this chapter, it's on a much more serious note.
Ali: I love you too! He he he, I know they are fighting again, but can life between Spot and Cameo ever be sickly sweet and happy? I don't think either of them would be happy with that. Hope it has enough romance for you though.
Dreamer: Thank you your compliments are making me blush! I hope you enjoyed this one!