The stars winked at me from inky blackness that was the sky. I lay back on
the roof, my arms behind my head and allowed my mind to wonder. I didn't
know what my life would bring or what was coming, but for now I was
content. I wasn't sure where the feeling came from after all while things
downstairs I doubted would change too much. Spot might tell his boys how
to act, but that didn't mean they would listen. They just wouldn't repeat
the mistake of getting caught. Spots reputation kept his boys in line I
prayed he would use it to keep them at bay. Though I doubted it would do
much good it would probably give them more reason to resent me. My head
was starting to hurt as I let these thoughts chase each other through my
mind. I knew Spot would protect me, I knew I was safe with him as long as
his interest in me held.
I was in love with him that thought made my mind swirl faster like water draining out of a bathtub. I didn't want to be in love with him, I hadn't asked for it, I hadn't wanted it, and I couldn't change it. I had thought the confusion after my mother's death horrible, but this was ten times worse. I had lost someone I loved then, now I stood the chance of loosing the first person I had allowed myself to love since, and not loosing him to the arms of death, though living as we were it was more of a concern that my mother had been. No I didn't have to worry about that as much as his ever-waning attention span. I wouldn't allow my self any illusions about what would happen. He would get bored after a while moving on to more interesting girls. Girls that were willing to give him what I would not.
I closed my eyes against the thought hating the vulnerable position I was in, but unable to remove myself from it. I supposed my only hope was the amulet that lay safely below my bed in Manhattan. Safely hidden under the floorboards next to the bracelet that had already caused me troubles. I didn't know if I could leave, I didn't know if I could go without letting this romance play out. Without knowing if maybe this was the reason I had been sent to this place.
Deep down I was a hopeless romantic that wished for a happily ever after, but I was also a cynic that didn't believe it. I supposed such was the enigma of me. I smiled at that thought delighted at the idea of being an enigma, even if only to myself. I knew I was ever a contradiction, hopeless romantic, cynic, dreamer, and realist, withdrawn, yet too involved. Morai had often commented on this and how chameleon like I was. She once told me I was like the Meredith Brookes song, Bitch, ever changing, yet always the same. I supposed it balanced me giving me the ability to use one or the other fragment of my personality to deal with whatever was thrown at me. If nothing else I have always been and always ill be a survivor, I would get through no matter what, as long as I could fight myself. I could be my own worst enemy.
Spot's face filled my mind and I remembered that sweet smile that had made all thoughts fly from my head. Settling myself back and turning my attention to the stars again I let myself go, with an effort I stopped the tornado of thoughts and relaxed for the first time in a long time. I didn't know when I would have the moment again and I embraced it whole- heartedly. I let the arms of comfort wrap around me as I smiled that lazy smile of a dreamer. I heard the soft footfalls that padded across the roof telling me that someone was approaching. I tensed to spring up and looked to find Blink making his way toward me as Mush poked his head up, his arms braced on the roof's edge as he hoisted himself up.
"Hello boys." I said giving them the smile of a person that has been starved for good companionship. I may have few friends in Brooklyn, but the friends that visited me from Manhattan would make up for it for now.
"Is things goin okay now?" Blink asked softly as he sat next to me, his long legs bent, his arms casually resting against them. I knew I had been withdrawn at their daily visits often allowing them to sit with me, but not offering much more that that. I could see the surprise at the change in my attitude.
"What makes you think things weren't going well?" I asked sharply, I had not wanted to involve them in my problems so I had not spoken of my difficulties.
"We was beginin to wonder if we was goin to have to threaten Spot," Mush told me as he took a seat on my other side, his position a mirror of his friends. "We weren't sure though if ya were upset because of him or because of his boys."
"It's fine now." I replied dismissively, Mush raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head looking out over the sea of rooftops before responding.
"Is it?" he finally questioned still not looking at me as if not looking at me would make me answer him.
"There was nothing wrong really to begin with." I snapped, I didn't want to talk about it, I had handled it and if anything else continued on, well I would deal with that too. What is it with men? When you need some advise or help they don't have the attention span of a flea, but when you don't want to talk about it they are like a bloodhound on the sent of a fox.
What is it with women who don't accept help when it's offered? A small voice in my head asked. I ignored it preferring to be stubborn about the male race's downfalls rather than look at my own.
"You ain't......you and Spot ain't......." Blink coughed delicately before continuing, blood rushed to my face before he even finished. "Well, what I mean is.... you aren't......"
"Sleeping together, having sex, committing the sin of fornication?" I supplied. "Take your pick any of them will work. If I was what business of yours would it be?"
"We aint' sayin ya are, we're just worried, there's been rumors." Mush said coming to the defense of his friend. "Besides ya seem happy all of a sudden."
I shook my head in disgust and looked away tears coming to my eyes. You were right that small vicious voice that plagued me with doubts and problems whispered in my ear. They think the worst of me, they believe just as I had feared.
What the hell does it matter? I asked myself trying to steel my heart, trying to brush it off. I don't care what they think I don't need them. Yet it didn't stop my heart from feeling more bruised and battered than it already was. The argument raged inside me as I tried to convince myself it didn't matter, that none of it mattered, that I didn't care. It was harder to do now than it had been only a short time ago.
"So you listen to the rumors instead of defending me?" I cried. "And just because I am happy to finally see a friendly face does not mean I've gotten laid."
Mush's face looked like I had slapped him as he caught the pain I tried to hide in my voice. I tried to ignore it, just as I tried to fight the tears, but since I had appeared here I had begun loosing my iron tight grip on my emotions. Walls had tumbled, floods had washed my face with salty tears and I found it harder and harder to regain control the more I acknowledged my feelings. It was as if a floodgate had been opened and I could not bring back what had been let out, nor could I stop more from escaping.
"That's why we's askin ya." Blink replied his face as emotionless as Mush's was pained.
"No, I'm not screwing him, I'm not a whore, I'm not a slut and I do have some respect for myself." I screamed unable to take it any longer. I had been physically molested, taunted and pushed for too long. I had been backed into corners to be saved by footsteps that had made them run, I had been ridiculed, and I had enough of it. It was too bad there were no lawyers to run to that would sue for sexual harassment. Too bad there was no such thing as sexual harassment. Every woman was a man's for the taking unless she was lucky enough to have another man to defend her. I had no brothers except those who sat before me, I had no father that could protect me, and I had no husband that left me fair game. I was not used to this way of thinking and I was tired of it!
The past few weeks had been hell and now that I seemed to be getting a handle on the situation. Two of the best friends I had ever had were asking me the same questions with the same low opinion. I snapped, I stood angrily pacing to the edge of the roof and back enjoying the heady, dizzy, feeling I got as I turned on my heel, just at the edge. I heard Blink and Mush gasp the first time. Glancing up I saw Mush looked queasy and pale as I did it again at the other end.
"We didn't mean nothing by it." Mush said softly. "Would ya come and sit back down please."
"No, I will not sit down." I snapped. "Tell me is it because you men can not handle seeing a strong, powerful woman? Do you feel that if she is powerful she must have used sex to get there? Or is it just that you can't deal with it so you must degrade her to make yourselves feel better?"
"It was just a question." Blink cried looking at me with his one good eye a frustrated look up on his face.
" No it was not just a question, it is the reason for the hell I have been living in since you dumped me here." I replied, " it is the reason for the boys downstairs who have grabbed at parts I wouldn't let them touch other wise, the times I have been backed into corners waiting for some guy to take more than I'm willing to give, the times I have been ridiculed and taunted. The times I have cried myself to sleep wondering if you really thought of me as the boys downstairs do. As a whore who talks too much and acts too much like a man. A woman who needs to be taught a lesson, who needs to be shoved back down into her place which should be ten feet below your exalted selves."
"We don't think like that." Mush looked stunned as my angry words sunk in, as he realized what I had been dealing with. Suddenly seeing the reasons for my silence and withdrawal.
"Don't you?" I countered, giving him a look that told him I didn't' believe him. "That isn't what your words said."
"Look, we know Spot, we know he can be one smooth bastard. He's gotten under the skin of the most innocent girls; he's made them want what they shouldn't have and enjoyed every minute of it. " Mush told me, Blink nodded his agreement and took up where Mush left off.
" I remember one girl who was hot for the convent, it took Spot a matter of weeks. They was a challenge to him, an there ain't nothin Spot loves more than a challenge. He prides himself on bein able to have any girl he wants."
" Our question didn't have to do with ya bein a good girl or not, it had to do with if Spot was takin advantage of ya or not." Mush sighed, his face set in a worried look. " We know ya have feelins for him an we don't want ta see ya get hurt. Remember we promised we wouldn't let him hurt you."
I felt myself shrink like a balloon that has had the air let out of it. I felt the shame and the hurt of my own assumptions. Here I had been acting all high and mighty and their question had been one of concern not one of censorship of my actions.
"What makes you think I have feelings for him?" I asked softly. Mush gave me a sad smile, as he replied.
"It's been right in front of our noses since ya met him." He told me. "Anyone with half a brain could see ya hot for each other."
"I am sorry." I whispered as I sat a few feet from them, my own self- damnation worse than any attack they could have launched on me in retribution for my words.
"Hey it's okay." Blink told me coming to sit next to me his arm wrapping around me in comfort. " We knew that Brooklyn can be a hard place, but we never thought you'd have the problems ya described."
"Forget it." I sighed. Their words were flying around in my head just as my own thoughts had been earlier. I forced myself to look at them and absorbed them. I couldn't afford to allow the dreamer side to get away with herself. I forced myself to see Spot as they saw him to accept that it was one way our story could end. One way I half expected anyway. Spot loved a challenge did he? Well this was on challenge he wouldn't win and one girl he couldn't have. Not unless he got down on one knee and actually made it to the church which I didn't see happening. Spot would probably never be a one-woman man. Though his speech earlier about wanting a family made me wonder. I supposed if the right woman came along, he might settle down and if that woman came along I would be the first person to shake her hand.
"There's some whisky downstairs, ya look like ya could use a shot." Blink said as he stood reaching a hand down to help me up. I smiled and accepted his help. We all moved to the edge of the roof, Mush jumping to the fire escape below reaching his hands up to help me down. For the first time in as long as I could remember I didn't jump past help, I lowered myself enough to allow him to grip my waist in strong hands and set me on the fire escape gently.
"Thanks." I told him as I brushed past him and into the window of the bunkroom. I ignored the smirks of those who lounged around and continued on to the door. As I reached it I heard the cries of excitement coming from downstairs signaling yet another of the many fights that broke out in this rough and tumble Lodging House. Mush and Blink grinned as we jogged down the stairs stopping when we reached where the Brooklyn newsies had taken cover on the edge of the stairs and around the room creating a ring for the two guys who were facing off.
To my surprise I saw Spot and the boy who had molested me earlier. Spot's fists struck with deadly accuracy before his opponent even knew they were coming. I had seen him fight before, but had not the luxury of truly watching him; we had after all been in a darkened alleyway. He moved with the grace of a dancer, with a grace like that of the man who had taught me to sword fight. It was the gait of a born fighter. I had no doubt that if Spot had been born in the Renaissance he would have been a knight of renown fighting skills. His opponent threw a few useless punches toward Spots face only one getting through and grazing his face. He ignored it as if it had never happened and threw another volley of punches that left his adversary laying on the ground gasping for breathe, trying to wipe the blood from his broken nose and split lip.
"Ya had enough or do I have to keep going?" Spot asked again reminding me of the archangel Michael, as he seemed to tower over his foe, his foot on the boys back holding him from getting up. He looked like a man who had conquered and I knew at that moment why he had become the leader of Brooklyn. His eyes met mine as I stood on the stairs and I could have sworn they softened for a moment. He nodded to me and I pushed through the crowd as he crooked his finger in a gesture for me to come closer. The crowd parted some of the boys giving me looks of distaste as I passed, but I ignored them for the pair of eyes that were connected to mine. I looked down at the pitiful boy who had been so menacing earlier when confronted with me.
"Apologize." Spot spat as he stepped back, I watched as the boy pushed himself to his hands and knees shaking his head. He looked back up at me with hatred flaring in his eyes.
"No." he hissed "I'm not gonna apologize for treatin a whore like what she is."
Spot's foot connected brutally in his stomach making the breath explode from his lungs.
"I said apologize." Spot ordered again his voice telling the boy he was at the end of his rope.
"I ain't gonna tell her I'm sorry." He cried when he could breath again. " I ain't gonna apologize for doin what ya should've been man enough to do. Instead ya let her run around here like she was a man. She ain't, she's a woman and she needs to be taught how a woman acts. I'd do it again, only this time I'd finish what I started."
He spat meaning to spit on me, but it landed inches from my shoes. I had to look away as Spot attacked him, like a berserker in a Viking army. Finally the some of his boys pulled him off still kicking and struggling to continue his attack on the unconscious boy who lay on the floor. Finally he seemed to get control over himself, and he shrugged the arms off that held him.
"Get him out of here." He growled "He ain't one of Brooklyn's anymore. I catch any of you bums so much as lookin at him I'll soak ya too. I'll kill any one of ya who ever challenges my authority. I'm the leader, I am Brooklyn until I decide other wise an don't ya ever forget it. As for Cameo, I'll kill the next man who touches her. "
No one would look him in the eye and I was sharply reminded of the alpha male wolf surveying his pack. I half expected them to get on the ground and roll on their backs in submission. I smothered a giggle as I pictured them doing just that. Luckily only Spot was close enough to hear it. I shrugged; my eyes had to be dancing with laughter and I saw the matching glimmer in his. Leave it to me to find something amusing in a moment that called for seriousness. It was just one of the many things that caused people to think I was crazy, but I couldn't help it the image had been so incredibly funny and after the day I had had I needed a good laugh.
"I'll tell you later, when the pack is through groveling." I said under my breath as I passed him, I heard his brief chuckle.
He grabbed my wrist and I automatically turned tensing expecting him to pull me to him. I expected a display to show that I was his and he meant what he said. I also knew what kind of damage displays like that had already caused my tattered reputation. Instead he merely bowed and placed a chaste kiss on my hand in a gentlemanly fashion.
"Just the first step in tellin me boys that ya're a lady." He whispered for my ears alone as he released my hand. He stepped back heading for the other side of the room and the whisky Blink, Mush and I had originally left the haven of the roof for. His boys patted him on the back in appreciation at another well-fought fight. I stood rooted to the spot letting the other newsies stream around me like water around a rock.
"I ain't never seen him do that before." Blink muttered as he made his way to my side.
"Me neither." Mush said giving me a confused look. I looked at him and shook my head. I had no idea what was going on in Spots complicated mind.
"Get in a fight over a girl?" I asked looking at them in interest.
"Nah.....he can be pretty possessive over what's he thinks is his." Mush responded still looking after the leader of the Brooklyn newsies in surprise. " No, treat a girl like a lady."
"They usually good girls who don't know until they see him that theys bad." Blink added "He usually puts on the charm, but he ain't the gentlemanly type and they knows that. They usually try to turn him into it though the stupid girls. Ain't never seen one that could tame him."
"The alpha male looks for an alpha female." I whispered to myself as I watched him closely, he was indeed the alpha male. No one would ever tame Spot, but one day I had a feeling he would find a girl that would be just as strong and powerful as he was. An alpha female to his alpha male, my earlier thought had been wrong. He may not have seemed like the marrying type, but I had no doubt he would marry if he found her, wolves mated for life.
"What?" Mush asked in a tone that told me he hadn't heard what I had said, but had seen me talking.
"I guess he just hasn't run across a bad girl who doesn't know until she sees him that she's really good." I said instead of repeating my earlier comment.
"Ya ain't a bad girl Cameo." Blink told me putting his arm around me. " Ya just different and ain't many people around here that can handle that."
I felt as smile touch my lips as my eyes met Spot's from across the room. It was that secret smile that only a woman can produce. Spot raised his glass and tossed the burning liquid down his throat as if to say touché.
Wow what a response I got from all of you! I'm blushing and ducking my head. Shucks!
Chelci: Thank you, your review was.. Wow! As for what I wrote, it is the truth!
Cards: YEA! You updated! More please! I'm glad you love it.
Dreamer: That is my goal....to be different, isn't it everyone who has worked at a festivals though? I checked out your fiction and I reviewed so I'll leave it at that, you know I liked it.
Ali: Don't guess the end of the story or the muses might change it in mid writing. He, he, he. Just kidding. You know they will end up together eventually. I don't think I could see them with anyone else at this point, but you never know. As I said before I am blushing at your praise. I didn't expect this kind of response to my little hobby. Thank you. I hope it continues to be enjoyable.
JP: I didn't say you didn't like romance, I just figured of anyone you would tell me if I was getting too sappy! I'm glad you are enjoying it. When are you going to post more of yours? I'm waiting none too patiently. You think it's the best? (Ducks head modestly and traces pictures with her toe) THANK YOU. I take that as an incredible compliment!
Falco: Ahhh, where do I begin? Your compliments were very ego boosting. I was speechless; I can't believe that my writing could have possibly touched someone so strongly. My writing amused me, but I never thought it would be inspiration for someone to take a closer look at theirs. That was not it's original purpose, but if it has wow. Writing is a great way to express all you are feeling and all you wish you could say, but can't. THANK YOU again, you're review really meant a lot!
Rumor: Again wow, thank you for the praise. Thank you as well for catching my little mistake. My history is a little rusty as well so I was lazy and looked back on the notes I took in high school. American history I am afraid has not been as prominent in my studies as European. I know better than to use my old history teacher's notes, as he was a teacher so he could coach. You know the types..... they figure history will be easy all they will have to do is show a few movies and make the kids do the stupid questions in the book. I delighted in proving him wrong when he lectured. That's probably why I barely passed his class, oops. Oh well. My old notes had said that the suffragettes were fighting for women to be able to work. As there were so few jobs open to a woman who was forced to work in that time. I forgot that it wasn't until World War II that women really worked. That the country started putting out pictures of Rosy the Riveter and that after having worked for the country while the men were at war the women were not so keen on returning home. Still it wasn't until later that women's lib in the work force really took over. Sorry for the impromptu history lesson you probably already knew about. I did my research like I should have and changed the last chapter a little to reflect the fact that women were only concentrating on voting at this time. Thank you for pointing that out. I hope you can continue to do so in the future! As for your questions...... I can't answer all of them. The muses are threatening a strike if I do. They are threatening impending writers block. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anything but that.) I will tell you that, yes, Spot will find out and mayhem as only Cameo can provide will ensue. I am glad you like the story!
Fearless: I'll do that, I sent you one earlier, but you weren't online so I'll try again later. Hope you enjoy this one as much as you have the previous chapters.
I was in love with him that thought made my mind swirl faster like water draining out of a bathtub. I didn't want to be in love with him, I hadn't asked for it, I hadn't wanted it, and I couldn't change it. I had thought the confusion after my mother's death horrible, but this was ten times worse. I had lost someone I loved then, now I stood the chance of loosing the first person I had allowed myself to love since, and not loosing him to the arms of death, though living as we were it was more of a concern that my mother had been. No I didn't have to worry about that as much as his ever-waning attention span. I wouldn't allow my self any illusions about what would happen. He would get bored after a while moving on to more interesting girls. Girls that were willing to give him what I would not.
I closed my eyes against the thought hating the vulnerable position I was in, but unable to remove myself from it. I supposed my only hope was the amulet that lay safely below my bed in Manhattan. Safely hidden under the floorboards next to the bracelet that had already caused me troubles. I didn't know if I could leave, I didn't know if I could go without letting this romance play out. Without knowing if maybe this was the reason I had been sent to this place.
Deep down I was a hopeless romantic that wished for a happily ever after, but I was also a cynic that didn't believe it. I supposed such was the enigma of me. I smiled at that thought delighted at the idea of being an enigma, even if only to myself. I knew I was ever a contradiction, hopeless romantic, cynic, dreamer, and realist, withdrawn, yet too involved. Morai had often commented on this and how chameleon like I was. She once told me I was like the Meredith Brookes song, Bitch, ever changing, yet always the same. I supposed it balanced me giving me the ability to use one or the other fragment of my personality to deal with whatever was thrown at me. If nothing else I have always been and always ill be a survivor, I would get through no matter what, as long as I could fight myself. I could be my own worst enemy.
Spot's face filled my mind and I remembered that sweet smile that had made all thoughts fly from my head. Settling myself back and turning my attention to the stars again I let myself go, with an effort I stopped the tornado of thoughts and relaxed for the first time in a long time. I didn't know when I would have the moment again and I embraced it whole- heartedly. I let the arms of comfort wrap around me as I smiled that lazy smile of a dreamer. I heard the soft footfalls that padded across the roof telling me that someone was approaching. I tensed to spring up and looked to find Blink making his way toward me as Mush poked his head up, his arms braced on the roof's edge as he hoisted himself up.
"Hello boys." I said giving them the smile of a person that has been starved for good companionship. I may have few friends in Brooklyn, but the friends that visited me from Manhattan would make up for it for now.
"Is things goin okay now?" Blink asked softly as he sat next to me, his long legs bent, his arms casually resting against them. I knew I had been withdrawn at their daily visits often allowing them to sit with me, but not offering much more that that. I could see the surprise at the change in my attitude.
"What makes you think things weren't going well?" I asked sharply, I had not wanted to involve them in my problems so I had not spoken of my difficulties.
"We was beginin to wonder if we was goin to have to threaten Spot," Mush told me as he took a seat on my other side, his position a mirror of his friends. "We weren't sure though if ya were upset because of him or because of his boys."
"It's fine now." I replied dismissively, Mush raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head looking out over the sea of rooftops before responding.
"Is it?" he finally questioned still not looking at me as if not looking at me would make me answer him.
"There was nothing wrong really to begin with." I snapped, I didn't want to talk about it, I had handled it and if anything else continued on, well I would deal with that too. What is it with men? When you need some advise or help they don't have the attention span of a flea, but when you don't want to talk about it they are like a bloodhound on the sent of a fox.
What is it with women who don't accept help when it's offered? A small voice in my head asked. I ignored it preferring to be stubborn about the male race's downfalls rather than look at my own.
"You ain't......you and Spot ain't......." Blink coughed delicately before continuing, blood rushed to my face before he even finished. "Well, what I mean is.... you aren't......"
"Sleeping together, having sex, committing the sin of fornication?" I supplied. "Take your pick any of them will work. If I was what business of yours would it be?"
"We aint' sayin ya are, we're just worried, there's been rumors." Mush said coming to the defense of his friend. "Besides ya seem happy all of a sudden."
I shook my head in disgust and looked away tears coming to my eyes. You were right that small vicious voice that plagued me with doubts and problems whispered in my ear. They think the worst of me, they believe just as I had feared.
What the hell does it matter? I asked myself trying to steel my heart, trying to brush it off. I don't care what they think I don't need them. Yet it didn't stop my heart from feeling more bruised and battered than it already was. The argument raged inside me as I tried to convince myself it didn't matter, that none of it mattered, that I didn't care. It was harder to do now than it had been only a short time ago.
"So you listen to the rumors instead of defending me?" I cried. "And just because I am happy to finally see a friendly face does not mean I've gotten laid."
Mush's face looked like I had slapped him as he caught the pain I tried to hide in my voice. I tried to ignore it, just as I tried to fight the tears, but since I had appeared here I had begun loosing my iron tight grip on my emotions. Walls had tumbled, floods had washed my face with salty tears and I found it harder and harder to regain control the more I acknowledged my feelings. It was as if a floodgate had been opened and I could not bring back what had been let out, nor could I stop more from escaping.
"That's why we's askin ya." Blink replied his face as emotionless as Mush's was pained.
"No, I'm not screwing him, I'm not a whore, I'm not a slut and I do have some respect for myself." I screamed unable to take it any longer. I had been physically molested, taunted and pushed for too long. I had been backed into corners to be saved by footsteps that had made them run, I had been ridiculed, and I had enough of it. It was too bad there were no lawyers to run to that would sue for sexual harassment. Too bad there was no such thing as sexual harassment. Every woman was a man's for the taking unless she was lucky enough to have another man to defend her. I had no brothers except those who sat before me, I had no father that could protect me, and I had no husband that left me fair game. I was not used to this way of thinking and I was tired of it!
The past few weeks had been hell and now that I seemed to be getting a handle on the situation. Two of the best friends I had ever had were asking me the same questions with the same low opinion. I snapped, I stood angrily pacing to the edge of the roof and back enjoying the heady, dizzy, feeling I got as I turned on my heel, just at the edge. I heard Blink and Mush gasp the first time. Glancing up I saw Mush looked queasy and pale as I did it again at the other end.
"We didn't mean nothing by it." Mush said softly. "Would ya come and sit back down please."
"No, I will not sit down." I snapped. "Tell me is it because you men can not handle seeing a strong, powerful woman? Do you feel that if she is powerful she must have used sex to get there? Or is it just that you can't deal with it so you must degrade her to make yourselves feel better?"
"It was just a question." Blink cried looking at me with his one good eye a frustrated look up on his face.
" No it was not just a question, it is the reason for the hell I have been living in since you dumped me here." I replied, " it is the reason for the boys downstairs who have grabbed at parts I wouldn't let them touch other wise, the times I have been backed into corners waiting for some guy to take more than I'm willing to give, the times I have been ridiculed and taunted. The times I have cried myself to sleep wondering if you really thought of me as the boys downstairs do. As a whore who talks too much and acts too much like a man. A woman who needs to be taught a lesson, who needs to be shoved back down into her place which should be ten feet below your exalted selves."
"We don't think like that." Mush looked stunned as my angry words sunk in, as he realized what I had been dealing with. Suddenly seeing the reasons for my silence and withdrawal.
"Don't you?" I countered, giving him a look that told him I didn't' believe him. "That isn't what your words said."
"Look, we know Spot, we know he can be one smooth bastard. He's gotten under the skin of the most innocent girls; he's made them want what they shouldn't have and enjoyed every minute of it. " Mush told me, Blink nodded his agreement and took up where Mush left off.
" I remember one girl who was hot for the convent, it took Spot a matter of weeks. They was a challenge to him, an there ain't nothin Spot loves more than a challenge. He prides himself on bein able to have any girl he wants."
" Our question didn't have to do with ya bein a good girl or not, it had to do with if Spot was takin advantage of ya or not." Mush sighed, his face set in a worried look. " We know ya have feelins for him an we don't want ta see ya get hurt. Remember we promised we wouldn't let him hurt you."
I felt myself shrink like a balloon that has had the air let out of it. I felt the shame and the hurt of my own assumptions. Here I had been acting all high and mighty and their question had been one of concern not one of censorship of my actions.
"What makes you think I have feelings for him?" I asked softly. Mush gave me a sad smile, as he replied.
"It's been right in front of our noses since ya met him." He told me. "Anyone with half a brain could see ya hot for each other."
"I am sorry." I whispered as I sat a few feet from them, my own self- damnation worse than any attack they could have launched on me in retribution for my words.
"Hey it's okay." Blink told me coming to sit next to me his arm wrapping around me in comfort. " We knew that Brooklyn can be a hard place, but we never thought you'd have the problems ya described."
"Forget it." I sighed. Their words were flying around in my head just as my own thoughts had been earlier. I forced myself to look at them and absorbed them. I couldn't afford to allow the dreamer side to get away with herself. I forced myself to see Spot as they saw him to accept that it was one way our story could end. One way I half expected anyway. Spot loved a challenge did he? Well this was on challenge he wouldn't win and one girl he couldn't have. Not unless he got down on one knee and actually made it to the church which I didn't see happening. Spot would probably never be a one-woman man. Though his speech earlier about wanting a family made me wonder. I supposed if the right woman came along, he might settle down and if that woman came along I would be the first person to shake her hand.
"There's some whisky downstairs, ya look like ya could use a shot." Blink said as he stood reaching a hand down to help me up. I smiled and accepted his help. We all moved to the edge of the roof, Mush jumping to the fire escape below reaching his hands up to help me down. For the first time in as long as I could remember I didn't jump past help, I lowered myself enough to allow him to grip my waist in strong hands and set me on the fire escape gently.
"Thanks." I told him as I brushed past him and into the window of the bunkroom. I ignored the smirks of those who lounged around and continued on to the door. As I reached it I heard the cries of excitement coming from downstairs signaling yet another of the many fights that broke out in this rough and tumble Lodging House. Mush and Blink grinned as we jogged down the stairs stopping when we reached where the Brooklyn newsies had taken cover on the edge of the stairs and around the room creating a ring for the two guys who were facing off.
To my surprise I saw Spot and the boy who had molested me earlier. Spot's fists struck with deadly accuracy before his opponent even knew they were coming. I had seen him fight before, but had not the luxury of truly watching him; we had after all been in a darkened alleyway. He moved with the grace of a dancer, with a grace like that of the man who had taught me to sword fight. It was the gait of a born fighter. I had no doubt that if Spot had been born in the Renaissance he would have been a knight of renown fighting skills. His opponent threw a few useless punches toward Spots face only one getting through and grazing his face. He ignored it as if it had never happened and threw another volley of punches that left his adversary laying on the ground gasping for breathe, trying to wipe the blood from his broken nose and split lip.
"Ya had enough or do I have to keep going?" Spot asked again reminding me of the archangel Michael, as he seemed to tower over his foe, his foot on the boys back holding him from getting up. He looked like a man who had conquered and I knew at that moment why he had become the leader of Brooklyn. His eyes met mine as I stood on the stairs and I could have sworn they softened for a moment. He nodded to me and I pushed through the crowd as he crooked his finger in a gesture for me to come closer. The crowd parted some of the boys giving me looks of distaste as I passed, but I ignored them for the pair of eyes that were connected to mine. I looked down at the pitiful boy who had been so menacing earlier when confronted with me.
"Apologize." Spot spat as he stepped back, I watched as the boy pushed himself to his hands and knees shaking his head. He looked back up at me with hatred flaring in his eyes.
"No." he hissed "I'm not gonna apologize for treatin a whore like what she is."
Spot's foot connected brutally in his stomach making the breath explode from his lungs.
"I said apologize." Spot ordered again his voice telling the boy he was at the end of his rope.
"I ain't gonna tell her I'm sorry." He cried when he could breath again. " I ain't gonna apologize for doin what ya should've been man enough to do. Instead ya let her run around here like she was a man. She ain't, she's a woman and she needs to be taught how a woman acts. I'd do it again, only this time I'd finish what I started."
He spat meaning to spit on me, but it landed inches from my shoes. I had to look away as Spot attacked him, like a berserker in a Viking army. Finally the some of his boys pulled him off still kicking and struggling to continue his attack on the unconscious boy who lay on the floor. Finally he seemed to get control over himself, and he shrugged the arms off that held him.
"Get him out of here." He growled "He ain't one of Brooklyn's anymore. I catch any of you bums so much as lookin at him I'll soak ya too. I'll kill any one of ya who ever challenges my authority. I'm the leader, I am Brooklyn until I decide other wise an don't ya ever forget it. As for Cameo, I'll kill the next man who touches her. "
No one would look him in the eye and I was sharply reminded of the alpha male wolf surveying his pack. I half expected them to get on the ground and roll on their backs in submission. I smothered a giggle as I pictured them doing just that. Luckily only Spot was close enough to hear it. I shrugged; my eyes had to be dancing with laughter and I saw the matching glimmer in his. Leave it to me to find something amusing in a moment that called for seriousness. It was just one of the many things that caused people to think I was crazy, but I couldn't help it the image had been so incredibly funny and after the day I had had I needed a good laugh.
"I'll tell you later, when the pack is through groveling." I said under my breath as I passed him, I heard his brief chuckle.
He grabbed my wrist and I automatically turned tensing expecting him to pull me to him. I expected a display to show that I was his and he meant what he said. I also knew what kind of damage displays like that had already caused my tattered reputation. Instead he merely bowed and placed a chaste kiss on my hand in a gentlemanly fashion.
"Just the first step in tellin me boys that ya're a lady." He whispered for my ears alone as he released my hand. He stepped back heading for the other side of the room and the whisky Blink, Mush and I had originally left the haven of the roof for. His boys patted him on the back in appreciation at another well-fought fight. I stood rooted to the spot letting the other newsies stream around me like water around a rock.
"I ain't never seen him do that before." Blink muttered as he made his way to my side.
"Me neither." Mush said giving me a confused look. I looked at him and shook my head. I had no idea what was going on in Spots complicated mind.
"Get in a fight over a girl?" I asked looking at them in interest.
"Nah.....he can be pretty possessive over what's he thinks is his." Mush responded still looking after the leader of the Brooklyn newsies in surprise. " No, treat a girl like a lady."
"They usually good girls who don't know until they see him that theys bad." Blink added "He usually puts on the charm, but he ain't the gentlemanly type and they knows that. They usually try to turn him into it though the stupid girls. Ain't never seen one that could tame him."
"The alpha male looks for an alpha female." I whispered to myself as I watched him closely, he was indeed the alpha male. No one would ever tame Spot, but one day I had a feeling he would find a girl that would be just as strong and powerful as he was. An alpha female to his alpha male, my earlier thought had been wrong. He may not have seemed like the marrying type, but I had no doubt he would marry if he found her, wolves mated for life.
"What?" Mush asked in a tone that told me he hadn't heard what I had said, but had seen me talking.
"I guess he just hasn't run across a bad girl who doesn't know until she sees him that she's really good." I said instead of repeating my earlier comment.
"Ya ain't a bad girl Cameo." Blink told me putting his arm around me. " Ya just different and ain't many people around here that can handle that."
I felt as smile touch my lips as my eyes met Spot's from across the room. It was that secret smile that only a woman can produce. Spot raised his glass and tossed the burning liquid down his throat as if to say touché.
Wow what a response I got from all of you! I'm blushing and ducking my head. Shucks!
Chelci: Thank you, your review was.. Wow! As for what I wrote, it is the truth!
Cards: YEA! You updated! More please! I'm glad you love it.
Dreamer: That is my goal....to be different, isn't it everyone who has worked at a festivals though? I checked out your fiction and I reviewed so I'll leave it at that, you know I liked it.
Ali: Don't guess the end of the story or the muses might change it in mid writing. He, he, he. Just kidding. You know they will end up together eventually. I don't think I could see them with anyone else at this point, but you never know. As I said before I am blushing at your praise. I didn't expect this kind of response to my little hobby. Thank you. I hope it continues to be enjoyable.
JP: I didn't say you didn't like romance, I just figured of anyone you would tell me if I was getting too sappy! I'm glad you are enjoying it. When are you going to post more of yours? I'm waiting none too patiently. You think it's the best? (Ducks head modestly and traces pictures with her toe) THANK YOU. I take that as an incredible compliment!
Falco: Ahhh, where do I begin? Your compliments were very ego boosting. I was speechless; I can't believe that my writing could have possibly touched someone so strongly. My writing amused me, but I never thought it would be inspiration for someone to take a closer look at theirs. That was not it's original purpose, but if it has wow. Writing is a great way to express all you are feeling and all you wish you could say, but can't. THANK YOU again, you're review really meant a lot!
Rumor: Again wow, thank you for the praise. Thank you as well for catching my little mistake. My history is a little rusty as well so I was lazy and looked back on the notes I took in high school. American history I am afraid has not been as prominent in my studies as European. I know better than to use my old history teacher's notes, as he was a teacher so he could coach. You know the types..... they figure history will be easy all they will have to do is show a few movies and make the kids do the stupid questions in the book. I delighted in proving him wrong when he lectured. That's probably why I barely passed his class, oops. Oh well. My old notes had said that the suffragettes were fighting for women to be able to work. As there were so few jobs open to a woman who was forced to work in that time. I forgot that it wasn't until World War II that women really worked. That the country started putting out pictures of Rosy the Riveter and that after having worked for the country while the men were at war the women were not so keen on returning home. Still it wasn't until later that women's lib in the work force really took over. Sorry for the impromptu history lesson you probably already knew about. I did my research like I should have and changed the last chapter a little to reflect the fact that women were only concentrating on voting at this time. Thank you for pointing that out. I hope you can continue to do so in the future! As for your questions...... I can't answer all of them. The muses are threatening a strike if I do. They are threatening impending writers block. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anything but that.) I will tell you that, yes, Spot will find out and mayhem as only Cameo can provide will ensue. I am glad you like the story!
Fearless: I'll do that, I sent you one earlier, but you weren't online so I'll try again later. Hope you enjoy this one as much as you have the previous chapters.