I don't own the Scotsman; don't sue because I don't know who does. Thank
you for letting me borrow it. Oh and I don't own I Will Survive either.
For the next few weeks I was homeless traveling between Brooklyn and Manhattan as I pleased. I sold in both areas, I slept in either lodging house, but one thing stayed the same I was usually with Spot. Mush, Blink, and Crutchy were all worried at first, but eventually they relaxed. My friendship with Crutchy though was forever strained. No matter how well Spot treated me Crutchy did not like him and did not trust him. Unfortunately it caused a rift between us, we spent some time together, but not as much as we used to and I missed it. Mimic went wherever I did, he was my constant shadow at least when it was appropriate for him to be around. Girl's night was never one of those times.
"Did ya see Sarah at the distrabution center today all over Jack?" Lucky asked from the tone in her voice I detected a little bit of jealousy.
"Are you jealous?" Glimmer teased picking up that train of though immediately.
"Of course not, she's a stupid idiot though." Lucky replied defensively.
"Speaking of, I can't believe you called me Sarah." I said one night as we had gathered around the roof. Glimmer had brought up her brother's stash of whiskey and we had opened it greedily. I knew Spot would be furious and almost relished the thought. Normally we were good girls, generally we did not drink, but we had all had a really bad day and we figured we deserved it.
"It snapped ya out of it didn't it?" Glimmer asked as she snagged the bottle I was drinking from and took a swig. "Worked like a charm."
The last words were husky as the cheap whisky burned its way down her throat.
"A SCOTS MAN IN A KILT LEFT A BAR ONE EVENING FAIR." I warbled stopping long enough to snag my bottle back and take another swig. We found that though none of us had many female friends for most of our life it was nice to spend time with those that were not fascinated with various workings of the body that we found rather disgusting.
"I don't know that one." Glimmer giggled taking the bottle from me, as I took a drag off my cigarette. There was just something about drinking that made me smoke. They seem to go hand in hand.
"You've been deprived child." I told her. " It's one of the gems of the Ren Faire."
"What the hell is Ren Faire?"
"This faire where everyone dresses up like they lived in the...." I trailed off at her blank look. " Kind of like a carnival only set a long time ago, like the play I dragged you both to a few weeks ago."
" You mean where the guys wore the stupid tights, that talked like idiots?" Lucky asked. I nodded figuring it was best not to correct her on the fine points of Shakespearian acting at this point.
"Like idiots." Glimmer agreed giggling again.
" I didn't know you knew how to giggle." I replied with a giggle of my own. I stopped short at the unfamiliar sound. "For that matter I didn't know I knew how to giggle."
"Stop babbling and finish the song." Lucky growled taking two swigs and glaring at me.
"AND ONE COULD TELL BY HOW HE WALKED HE'D DRUNK FAR MORE THAN HIS SHARE." I continued going off key at the end of it and shaking my head before continuing. " HE STUMBLED 'ROUND 'TILL HE COULD NO LONGER KEEP HIS FEET, THEN HE STUMBLED OFF INTO THE TREES TO SLEEP BESIDE THE STREET."
"Has anyone ever told you that when you drink you sing like a drunk Irishman?" Lucky asked over the chorus.
"Funny, I'm half Irish." I replied trying to stand and failing miserably. I looked to the four other bottles littering our little powwow, hum; maybe we should have stopped at two.
"Figures." Lucky got in before I continued my little ditty.
"WELL LATER ON TWO.." I trailed off for a moment. " wait make that three YOUNG AND LOVELY GIRLS JUST HAPPENED BY."
I laughed as Glimmer stood and bowed then fell flat on her face.
"ONE SAYS TO THE OTHERS WITH A TWINKLE IN HER EYE, DO YA SEE YON SLEEPING SCOTSMAN SO STRONG AND HANDSOME BUILT I WONDER IF IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY DON'T WEAR BENEATH THEIR KILT. OH, RING-DING diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddle- oh day I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath theIR kilt."
Glimmer caught on and sang the chorus with me and giggled some more as I continued on.
"So they kept up on the sleeping Scotsman, quiet as could be
And they lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt,
Twas nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddle-oh day
Twas nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Well they marveled for a moment, then one said, "We best be gone."
"But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
So as a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scotmans kilt did lift and show.
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddlee-oh day
Around the bonnie star the Scotman's kild did lift and show.
When the Scotsman woke to nature's call, he stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees,
And in a startled voice, he says to what's before his eyes,
"Ach lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddlee-oh day
"ach lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!"
Glimmer collapsed in a fit of laughter and even Lucky was rolling on the roof's floor by this point while I stumbled drunkenly to where they lay trying not to laugh as I fell next to them.
" What the bloody hell is going on up here?" an irate voice made us all roll up to look at the two heads that were just at the edge of the ladder leading to the roof. Spot surveyed us with a slightly disgusted look on his face, while Skittery made a beeline for Glimmer who only giggled and rolled away. " Ya shoutin is wakin up the whole neighborhood. Ya got my sister drunk?"
The last was said for me and I received one of his best glares. I raised my hands and gave him an innocent look.
"No." I replied with the you must be an idiot tone only used by the drunk. Things always seem to make more sense when you are drunk than to someone who is sober listening to a drunk. "I believe that was the whiskey, at least I think it was whisky ask your sister she provided the beverages tonight."
"Cameo," Spot snapped as I stood and wove unable to stand still for a moment.
"Spot." I mimicked, then giggled as I belched, something that made Spot look even more disgusted. " Ya know only a few hours ago you were laughing at Depot as he belched his alphabet."
"Depot's a man."
"And I'm a woman, learn your place Cameo." I retorted. " Awe shove it up your ass. I'll have you know that in a hundred years women will be not only voting, but also working. That's right you egotistical bastard they will be working, not at home, but real jobs. They will be doctors and lawyers and high paid executives like Mr. Pulitzer himself."
"Ya startin to sound like a suffregette." Spot growled. "Is that what ya think women should be doin?"
"Not what I personally want to do, but if it floats their boat why not?" I asked as I stumbled away from his searching hands and fell over Lucky. "Sorry."
My apology was in vain as Lucky had passed out, cold. I saw one of Spots boys look over the railing at him and watched Spot wave him over. He picked Lucky up and scampered to the railing.
"Bye Lucky." I said waving. "Sweet dreams. That's another thing, in a hundred years women will be able to wear what they want and say what they want. If they drink well, hell, the men will pour themselves a glass and join in. Guess what they won't be sluts either. Though I think the concept of free love would boggle your mind."
"Free love like that one suffragette that got kicked out was talkin about?" Spot asked his face taking on a look I wasn't sure I liked.
"Awe leave her alone Spotty boy, we's enjoyin ourselves." Glimmer broke in as Skittery helped her to the ladder.
"A little too much." Spot seethed. " Skittery if ya touch my sister I'll personally break every bone in ya hands. She better be in her room alone when I'm done dealing with this."
Skittery nodded while he pulled Glimmer along, who was intently trying to get him to stop and kiss her. Spot watched them go a worried look on his face, that lasted a moment then he was looking at me with an annoyed look.
"How are you going to deal with it Spotty?" I asked giving him a mischievous look. He shook his head and took a step toward me, which I sidestepped with surprising ease considering the state of my balance at this point. " How are you going to handle my radical ideas? Ideas that will not be so radical in about oh about sixty years."
"I hope to God ya're wrong." Spot said as he took another step toward me. "This may be a changing time, but sluts are the only people who take people into their beds before marriage. I don't care what ya women were meant to hold out until marriage and that is how it better stay. None of my women will be giving themselves to anyone ya got that?"
"Am I a slut then Spot?" I asked stopping dead from my task of evading him and glaring. "And did you just say? Women are meant to hold out? What about men? It's less of a sin if a man does it? And who the hell are you to tell me what to do. I'm not yours Spot, you don't own me. We could take a look, but I'm pretty sure Property of Spot Conlon has not been tattooed on my ass."
"You are mine you got that?" He hissed. " Ain't nobody gonna touch you unless it's me. As for what ya said before, I don't know Cameo, are ya a slut?"
He seemed so calm as he neared me. I stood and let him come no longer interested in leading him around the roof in a merry chase. I smiled that secretive seductive smile all women at one point learn and crooked my finger at him. He moved closer his eyes watching me warily managing to jump out of the way of my knee just at the last moment.
"Well at least you're feeling like yourself." He said under his breath as I struggled to free myself from his grasp. I only succeeded in tumbling us both to the ground and unfortunately I ended up with the breath knocked out of me as Spot landed on top. I blinked up at him, our eyes caught and we both stopped. I knew the kiss was coming, I didn't fight it, and I waited patiently. I closed my eyes enjoying the sensations too drunk to care what liberties he took at this point. It was the second time I was at his mercy and the second time he chose not to take the opening he had.
"Ya're drunk." He said as he rolled off of me and ran a hand through the hair I had disheveled.
"What's the matter Rover, did you lose your sex drive?" I asked. " Your mojo."
I laughed at the joke he didn't get; he shook his head taking what I had said personally.
"If and when I decide to take ya to bed Briar." He hissed leaning over me his hand sliding under my already half unbuttoned shirt. "I want ya to know exactly what ya doin without any alcohol to loosin ya up. Ya're gonna ask me to, ya gonna be beggin me to."
I sat ignoring where his hand was acting as if his gentle caresses on my upper stomach weren't distracting me.
"Don't hold your breath Spot, I don't beg for anything." I told him in a perfectly even tone that told him despite the alcohol that was flying through my veins I was deadly serious. " Getting that involved with you would be a mistake."
"Why?" his voice was soft.
"Come on Spot, the whole reason you're interested is because sexually you can't have me." I replied. " If you had me you wouldn't want me and I'm not going to be another one of your many girls. The only way you can have this is if I have a ring on my left hand and that isn't going to happen."
"So for all ya talk of free love ya just like all the other good girls." Spot sneered.
"I'm not an idiot Spot." I snapped. " Men want sex, they practically live for it. Women get emotional over it; you just want a quick lay. You want a moment of pleasure before you button up your pants and go. I refuse to get that emotionally attached to anyone who is not going to give me a commitment and we both know that you are not about to get married."
" I could have had you." Spot reminded me.
"Stupid you." I responded standing, my lovely buzz was gone leaving me with a slightly nauseated feeling and cloudy demeanor. " Should have taken the chance while you had it."
I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me back down to his lap. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips on the sensitive part of my neck.
"Are ya challengin the fact I could still have ya?"
"Spot, right now you respect me." I whispered. " It's the only thing that has set me apart from everyone else. If I break then you will no longer respect me and we will be done."
"You couldn't stop me right now could ya?" his words tickled my ear in a way I knew was well practiced. I shook my head tears coming to my eyes as I realized he was right. "Why?"
"Because I love you." I said before I could stop the words from tumbling from my mouth they had. Mentally I slapped myself; angry I had chosen to get drunk tonight. His hands stopped their seductive rubbing on my arms, stopped dead and I pulled out away from them.
"What did you just say?" he asked, I refused to look at him the terror at what his reaction to my words would be making me want to run.
"Nothing, Spot, I said nothing." I replied in a flustered way. I knew better than to drink, I always said more than I wanted to. Now the secret I had kept close to my heart was out, as was my heart. Right there in his hands for him to crush at the slightest moment. His hands caught my arms whirling me before I could escape to the sanctuary of the bunkroom below. I fought him wanting to be free, needing to be free, needing to be anywhere, but here.
"Say it again Briar." He ordered shaking me. My teeth rattled as I looked up and into those blue eyes that had captured my attention and probably my heart from the first moment I had seen them. I shook my head mutinously. " What did you say? Say it!"
"What that I love you?" I cried unable to stop it yet again. I hated loosing control; I hated to think of what this would do to us. " That you made me feel like I haven't felt in years. Hell you just plain made me feel. Why do you need to hear it? So you can crush me? You have it Spot, my heart is in the palm of your hand to do with as you please and just like all the other twits before me I'd let you do anything. I'd give you liberties that I swore I would never let a man have again. I would forget anything and everything for one night in your arms. I could and one day might throw everything away for it. You confuse me, and frustrate me, yet despite it all I love you. Damn it, damn the alcohol that is letting me say this to you. So go ahead Spot, you've won take advantage of it, kiss me and then take me down to your room, because you can you have me right where you have had all the other girls."
"You're not the other girls." He whispered as he touched my cheek brushing away the tears I did not know were falling. "If I took you to bed it wouldn't be like that."
"I'm sure that is what you've told them all."
"I have." He admitted. " I've lied with the best of them to get girls into bed with me. I wouldn't lie to ya, still ya drunk, let's get you in bed."
"Will you be joining me or wont you?" I asked as I walked to the ladder steadily.
" I won't." I heard him say. " Ya're right I do respect ya and I don't know if I would after having ya. For some reason that matters."
I nodded and swung my leg over ready to climb down and lay down.
"Briar, where are ya from?" Spot asked as he started across the roof as well. I looked up at him as he climbed down.
"Colorado." I told him simply.
"Are you?" he queried sharply as his feet hit the ground. His hands slid behind me, pulling me close. His lips as they brushed mine were not as they had been. There was a tenderness and a sweetness to this kiss that I had not previously felt. It took both of our wills to end it. He brushed my cheek as I moved away and to the window.
"I am." I told him as I turned away to the window .
"Briar?" I heard him ask I turned and waited patiently. " Where did you get all those things ya said about the future?"
"Call it a guess." I replied unsure of what else to tell him. I could tell him the truth, but I doubted he'd buy it. " Maybe I'm psychic."
He chuckled and shook his head as I opened the window.
"Briar?" He said his voice so soft I almost missed it.
"Yes?"
He looked at me for a moment looking as if he wanted to say something, but didn't know how.
"Goodnight." He said finally.
"Goodnight." I smiled and entered the room I often shared with Glimmer, closing the window behind me. What had he been going to say? I doubted it was the words I had hoped for. It wasn't his style, even if he married I doubted he would tell his wife he loved her unless it was a dire emergency. Unless, of course, he wanted to get her in bed, then I had no doubt he would play that card. I knew that he wasn't above that trick, I took it as a good sign he hadn't said it to me.
" Damn Spot he has to poke his nose in everything." I heard Glimmer grumble as I began changing
"Tell me about it." I replied wryly.
Fearless: Thanks for the review from last chapter!
Chelci: More Glimmer time, I know, I know you want more touching moments, but the shit is about to hit the fan and well, the muses haven't given me the proper opening.
Hotshot: I promise I won't compare Cameo to Sarah again. Emotions can be a hard thing to write with Spot. He's such a hard character to show feelings with. He has them undoubtedly, but he isn't one to really show them. AHHH I'm trying though pulling my hair out trying.
Rhap: Wow, my head isn't going to fit through the door if you keep this up. Thank you! Of course I read your story and I am enjoying it very much!
Aycay: Awe shucks stop it! Thank you really, that means a lot. Here's more for you to ponder over!
Galaxy: No more mood changes in our ever-brooding Spot. At least not ones off of what happened previously. I hope you like this chapter too!
Erinkathleen: (Does infamous new reviewer happy dance) Thank you, I am very glad you are interested in my humble story.
Falco: AHH Falco fresh waffles! Yay. I am so glad you are back! I'm also very glad you liked the story. Aren't you glad you didn't have to wait a week for the last chapter? Unlike everyone else who was left wondering you got to read them back to back. Hope you like this one! Where did my story go on your site? I can't find it.
Ali: Honey, this chapter's for you too. I figured it would be romantic enough for my hopeless romantic!
For the next few weeks I was homeless traveling between Brooklyn and Manhattan as I pleased. I sold in both areas, I slept in either lodging house, but one thing stayed the same I was usually with Spot. Mush, Blink, and Crutchy were all worried at first, but eventually they relaxed. My friendship with Crutchy though was forever strained. No matter how well Spot treated me Crutchy did not like him and did not trust him. Unfortunately it caused a rift between us, we spent some time together, but not as much as we used to and I missed it. Mimic went wherever I did, he was my constant shadow at least when it was appropriate for him to be around. Girl's night was never one of those times.
"Did ya see Sarah at the distrabution center today all over Jack?" Lucky asked from the tone in her voice I detected a little bit of jealousy.
"Are you jealous?" Glimmer teased picking up that train of though immediately.
"Of course not, she's a stupid idiot though." Lucky replied defensively.
"Speaking of, I can't believe you called me Sarah." I said one night as we had gathered around the roof. Glimmer had brought up her brother's stash of whiskey and we had opened it greedily. I knew Spot would be furious and almost relished the thought. Normally we were good girls, generally we did not drink, but we had all had a really bad day and we figured we deserved it.
"It snapped ya out of it didn't it?" Glimmer asked as she snagged the bottle I was drinking from and took a swig. "Worked like a charm."
The last words were husky as the cheap whisky burned its way down her throat.
"A SCOTS MAN IN A KILT LEFT A BAR ONE EVENING FAIR." I warbled stopping long enough to snag my bottle back and take another swig. We found that though none of us had many female friends for most of our life it was nice to spend time with those that were not fascinated with various workings of the body that we found rather disgusting.
"I don't know that one." Glimmer giggled taking the bottle from me, as I took a drag off my cigarette. There was just something about drinking that made me smoke. They seem to go hand in hand.
"You've been deprived child." I told her. " It's one of the gems of the Ren Faire."
"What the hell is Ren Faire?"
"This faire where everyone dresses up like they lived in the...." I trailed off at her blank look. " Kind of like a carnival only set a long time ago, like the play I dragged you both to a few weeks ago."
" You mean where the guys wore the stupid tights, that talked like idiots?" Lucky asked. I nodded figuring it was best not to correct her on the fine points of Shakespearian acting at this point.
"Like idiots." Glimmer agreed giggling again.
" I didn't know you knew how to giggle." I replied with a giggle of my own. I stopped short at the unfamiliar sound. "For that matter I didn't know I knew how to giggle."
"Stop babbling and finish the song." Lucky growled taking two swigs and glaring at me.
"AND ONE COULD TELL BY HOW HE WALKED HE'D DRUNK FAR MORE THAN HIS SHARE." I continued going off key at the end of it and shaking my head before continuing. " HE STUMBLED 'ROUND 'TILL HE COULD NO LONGER KEEP HIS FEET, THEN HE STUMBLED OFF INTO THE TREES TO SLEEP BESIDE THE STREET."
"Has anyone ever told you that when you drink you sing like a drunk Irishman?" Lucky asked over the chorus.
"Funny, I'm half Irish." I replied trying to stand and failing miserably. I looked to the four other bottles littering our little powwow, hum; maybe we should have stopped at two.
"Figures." Lucky got in before I continued my little ditty.
"WELL LATER ON TWO.." I trailed off for a moment. " wait make that three YOUNG AND LOVELY GIRLS JUST HAPPENED BY."
I laughed as Glimmer stood and bowed then fell flat on her face.
"ONE SAYS TO THE OTHERS WITH A TWINKLE IN HER EYE, DO YA SEE YON SLEEPING SCOTSMAN SO STRONG AND HANDSOME BUILT I WONDER IF IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY DON'T WEAR BENEATH THEIR KILT. OH, RING-DING diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddle- oh day I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath theIR kilt."
Glimmer caught on and sang the chorus with me and giggled some more as I continued on.
"So they kept up on the sleeping Scotsman, quiet as could be
And they lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt,
Twas nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddle-oh day
Twas nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Well they marveled for a moment, then one said, "We best be gone."
"But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
So as a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scotmans kilt did lift and show.
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddlee-oh day
Around the bonnie star the Scotman's kild did lift and show.
When the Scotsman woke to nature's call, he stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees,
And in a startled voice, he says to what's before his eyes,
"Ach lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!
Oh Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddlee-oh day
"ach lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!"
Glimmer collapsed in a fit of laughter and even Lucky was rolling on the roof's floor by this point while I stumbled drunkenly to where they lay trying not to laugh as I fell next to them.
" What the bloody hell is going on up here?" an irate voice made us all roll up to look at the two heads that were just at the edge of the ladder leading to the roof. Spot surveyed us with a slightly disgusted look on his face, while Skittery made a beeline for Glimmer who only giggled and rolled away. " Ya shoutin is wakin up the whole neighborhood. Ya got my sister drunk?"
The last was said for me and I received one of his best glares. I raised my hands and gave him an innocent look.
"No." I replied with the you must be an idiot tone only used by the drunk. Things always seem to make more sense when you are drunk than to someone who is sober listening to a drunk. "I believe that was the whiskey, at least I think it was whisky ask your sister she provided the beverages tonight."
"Cameo," Spot snapped as I stood and wove unable to stand still for a moment.
"Spot." I mimicked, then giggled as I belched, something that made Spot look even more disgusted. " Ya know only a few hours ago you were laughing at Depot as he belched his alphabet."
"Depot's a man."
"And I'm a woman, learn your place Cameo." I retorted. " Awe shove it up your ass. I'll have you know that in a hundred years women will be not only voting, but also working. That's right you egotistical bastard they will be working, not at home, but real jobs. They will be doctors and lawyers and high paid executives like Mr. Pulitzer himself."
"Ya startin to sound like a suffregette." Spot growled. "Is that what ya think women should be doin?"
"Not what I personally want to do, but if it floats their boat why not?" I asked as I stumbled away from his searching hands and fell over Lucky. "Sorry."
My apology was in vain as Lucky had passed out, cold. I saw one of Spots boys look over the railing at him and watched Spot wave him over. He picked Lucky up and scampered to the railing.
"Bye Lucky." I said waving. "Sweet dreams. That's another thing, in a hundred years women will be able to wear what they want and say what they want. If they drink well, hell, the men will pour themselves a glass and join in. Guess what they won't be sluts either. Though I think the concept of free love would boggle your mind."
"Free love like that one suffragette that got kicked out was talkin about?" Spot asked his face taking on a look I wasn't sure I liked.
"Awe leave her alone Spotty boy, we's enjoyin ourselves." Glimmer broke in as Skittery helped her to the ladder.
"A little too much." Spot seethed. " Skittery if ya touch my sister I'll personally break every bone in ya hands. She better be in her room alone when I'm done dealing with this."
Skittery nodded while he pulled Glimmer along, who was intently trying to get him to stop and kiss her. Spot watched them go a worried look on his face, that lasted a moment then he was looking at me with an annoyed look.
"How are you going to deal with it Spotty?" I asked giving him a mischievous look. He shook his head and took a step toward me, which I sidestepped with surprising ease considering the state of my balance at this point. " How are you going to handle my radical ideas? Ideas that will not be so radical in about oh about sixty years."
"I hope to God ya're wrong." Spot said as he took another step toward me. "This may be a changing time, but sluts are the only people who take people into their beds before marriage. I don't care what ya women were meant to hold out until marriage and that is how it better stay. None of my women will be giving themselves to anyone ya got that?"
"Am I a slut then Spot?" I asked stopping dead from my task of evading him and glaring. "And did you just say? Women are meant to hold out? What about men? It's less of a sin if a man does it? And who the hell are you to tell me what to do. I'm not yours Spot, you don't own me. We could take a look, but I'm pretty sure Property of Spot Conlon has not been tattooed on my ass."
"You are mine you got that?" He hissed. " Ain't nobody gonna touch you unless it's me. As for what ya said before, I don't know Cameo, are ya a slut?"
He seemed so calm as he neared me. I stood and let him come no longer interested in leading him around the roof in a merry chase. I smiled that secretive seductive smile all women at one point learn and crooked my finger at him. He moved closer his eyes watching me warily managing to jump out of the way of my knee just at the last moment.
"Well at least you're feeling like yourself." He said under his breath as I struggled to free myself from his grasp. I only succeeded in tumbling us both to the ground and unfortunately I ended up with the breath knocked out of me as Spot landed on top. I blinked up at him, our eyes caught and we both stopped. I knew the kiss was coming, I didn't fight it, and I waited patiently. I closed my eyes enjoying the sensations too drunk to care what liberties he took at this point. It was the second time I was at his mercy and the second time he chose not to take the opening he had.
"Ya're drunk." He said as he rolled off of me and ran a hand through the hair I had disheveled.
"What's the matter Rover, did you lose your sex drive?" I asked. " Your mojo."
I laughed at the joke he didn't get; he shook his head taking what I had said personally.
"If and when I decide to take ya to bed Briar." He hissed leaning over me his hand sliding under my already half unbuttoned shirt. "I want ya to know exactly what ya doin without any alcohol to loosin ya up. Ya're gonna ask me to, ya gonna be beggin me to."
I sat ignoring where his hand was acting as if his gentle caresses on my upper stomach weren't distracting me.
"Don't hold your breath Spot, I don't beg for anything." I told him in a perfectly even tone that told him despite the alcohol that was flying through my veins I was deadly serious. " Getting that involved with you would be a mistake."
"Why?" his voice was soft.
"Come on Spot, the whole reason you're interested is because sexually you can't have me." I replied. " If you had me you wouldn't want me and I'm not going to be another one of your many girls. The only way you can have this is if I have a ring on my left hand and that isn't going to happen."
"So for all ya talk of free love ya just like all the other good girls." Spot sneered.
"I'm not an idiot Spot." I snapped. " Men want sex, they practically live for it. Women get emotional over it; you just want a quick lay. You want a moment of pleasure before you button up your pants and go. I refuse to get that emotionally attached to anyone who is not going to give me a commitment and we both know that you are not about to get married."
" I could have had you." Spot reminded me.
"Stupid you." I responded standing, my lovely buzz was gone leaving me with a slightly nauseated feeling and cloudy demeanor. " Should have taken the chance while you had it."
I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me back down to his lap. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips on the sensitive part of my neck.
"Are ya challengin the fact I could still have ya?"
"Spot, right now you respect me." I whispered. " It's the only thing that has set me apart from everyone else. If I break then you will no longer respect me and we will be done."
"You couldn't stop me right now could ya?" his words tickled my ear in a way I knew was well practiced. I shook my head tears coming to my eyes as I realized he was right. "Why?"
"Because I love you." I said before I could stop the words from tumbling from my mouth they had. Mentally I slapped myself; angry I had chosen to get drunk tonight. His hands stopped their seductive rubbing on my arms, stopped dead and I pulled out away from them.
"What did you just say?" he asked, I refused to look at him the terror at what his reaction to my words would be making me want to run.
"Nothing, Spot, I said nothing." I replied in a flustered way. I knew better than to drink, I always said more than I wanted to. Now the secret I had kept close to my heart was out, as was my heart. Right there in his hands for him to crush at the slightest moment. His hands caught my arms whirling me before I could escape to the sanctuary of the bunkroom below. I fought him wanting to be free, needing to be free, needing to be anywhere, but here.
"Say it again Briar." He ordered shaking me. My teeth rattled as I looked up and into those blue eyes that had captured my attention and probably my heart from the first moment I had seen them. I shook my head mutinously. " What did you say? Say it!"
"What that I love you?" I cried unable to stop it yet again. I hated loosing control; I hated to think of what this would do to us. " That you made me feel like I haven't felt in years. Hell you just plain made me feel. Why do you need to hear it? So you can crush me? You have it Spot, my heart is in the palm of your hand to do with as you please and just like all the other twits before me I'd let you do anything. I'd give you liberties that I swore I would never let a man have again. I would forget anything and everything for one night in your arms. I could and one day might throw everything away for it. You confuse me, and frustrate me, yet despite it all I love you. Damn it, damn the alcohol that is letting me say this to you. So go ahead Spot, you've won take advantage of it, kiss me and then take me down to your room, because you can you have me right where you have had all the other girls."
"You're not the other girls." He whispered as he touched my cheek brushing away the tears I did not know were falling. "If I took you to bed it wouldn't be like that."
"I'm sure that is what you've told them all."
"I have." He admitted. " I've lied with the best of them to get girls into bed with me. I wouldn't lie to ya, still ya drunk, let's get you in bed."
"Will you be joining me or wont you?" I asked as I walked to the ladder steadily.
" I won't." I heard him say. " Ya're right I do respect ya and I don't know if I would after having ya. For some reason that matters."
I nodded and swung my leg over ready to climb down and lay down.
"Briar, where are ya from?" Spot asked as he started across the roof as well. I looked up at him as he climbed down.
"Colorado." I told him simply.
"Are you?" he queried sharply as his feet hit the ground. His hands slid behind me, pulling me close. His lips as they brushed mine were not as they had been. There was a tenderness and a sweetness to this kiss that I had not previously felt. It took both of our wills to end it. He brushed my cheek as I moved away and to the window.
"I am." I told him as I turned away to the window .
"Briar?" I heard him ask I turned and waited patiently. " Where did you get all those things ya said about the future?"
"Call it a guess." I replied unsure of what else to tell him. I could tell him the truth, but I doubted he'd buy it. " Maybe I'm psychic."
He chuckled and shook his head as I opened the window.
"Briar?" He said his voice so soft I almost missed it.
"Yes?"
He looked at me for a moment looking as if he wanted to say something, but didn't know how.
"Goodnight." He said finally.
"Goodnight." I smiled and entered the room I often shared with Glimmer, closing the window behind me. What had he been going to say? I doubted it was the words I had hoped for. It wasn't his style, even if he married I doubted he would tell his wife he loved her unless it was a dire emergency. Unless, of course, he wanted to get her in bed, then I had no doubt he would play that card. I knew that he wasn't above that trick, I took it as a good sign he hadn't said it to me.
" Damn Spot he has to poke his nose in everything." I heard Glimmer grumble as I began changing
"Tell me about it." I replied wryly.
Fearless: Thanks for the review from last chapter!
Chelci: More Glimmer time, I know, I know you want more touching moments, but the shit is about to hit the fan and well, the muses haven't given me the proper opening.
Hotshot: I promise I won't compare Cameo to Sarah again. Emotions can be a hard thing to write with Spot. He's such a hard character to show feelings with. He has them undoubtedly, but he isn't one to really show them. AHHH I'm trying though pulling my hair out trying.
Rhap: Wow, my head isn't going to fit through the door if you keep this up. Thank you! Of course I read your story and I am enjoying it very much!
Aycay: Awe shucks stop it! Thank you really, that means a lot. Here's more for you to ponder over!
Galaxy: No more mood changes in our ever-brooding Spot. At least not ones off of what happened previously. I hope you like this chapter too!
Erinkathleen: (Does infamous new reviewer happy dance) Thank you, I am very glad you are interested in my humble story.
Falco: AHH Falco fresh waffles! Yay. I am so glad you are back! I'm also very glad you liked the story. Aren't you glad you didn't have to wait a week for the last chapter? Unlike everyone else who was left wondering you got to read them back to back. Hope you like this one! Where did my story go on your site? I can't find it.
Ali: Honey, this chapter's for you too. I figured it would be romantic enough for my hopeless romantic!