Here is Chapter five. Things are starting to get a little bit sticky, and Kenshin and Kaoru's relationship is going to meet a bump and a curve in the road. I think they can deal with it though. This is sort of a transition chapter to help bridge the path from one place of interest to another, so bear with me. Chapter six starts things off on an interesting ride.
Please read and review. Thanks. This story is really coming from somewhere deep inside of me. I am beginning to understand that more and more as I proof read it and try to re-edit it from word perfect into a text document so I can put it up on the net. The transference process sort of messes with the formatting appearance of the document itself, and has forced me to adjust certain things, but all in all it is still the same story I started out with.
Glossary of Japanese Words:
jodan=rice field, koishii=dear or darling, kuso=bullshit or shit, baka-deshi=stupid apprentice, saiai=beloved, koibito-sweetheart, ka=good, nani=what?, jou-chan=young lady, masaka=never, aikouka=lover
""=out loud conversation, ''=mental thoughts
Standard disclaimers apply. I do not own the Ruroni Kenshin charachters, I'm just having fun messing around with their lives at the moment.
Chapter Five
Resurrection of a souls life
He was walking through a joden like the ones his father used to have when he was alive and the family lived on his rice trading business. The long tall stalks of new green rice rose high; nearly as tall as he was. He had to lift his hands high to brush the grain laden tops as he passed by. A soft cool breeze wafted across the field of grasses and rice stalks bending them over beneath its gentle force and then letting them bounce back up only to capture them again in an age old dance of nature and new life. It was a beautiful day, and the smells of growing plants and moist earth filled the air
and mingled with the sounds of birds singing and crickets chirping. Kenshin could feel the warmth of the sun on his face and permeating his gi and hakema, and he closed his amethyst eyes in pleasure as he savored the sensation.
It seemed the peace that had eluded him for so long had finally been found, and he could feel his soul singing in pure joy at the discovery. "At last," he whispered to himself. "At last I am free." Suddenly seized by the unexplainable urge to run, his feet seemed to grow a mind of their own, and they began to carry him through the huge endless rice field leaping through the tall grasses as he ran. He just wanted to run and run and run for nothing more than the shear joy of the freedom it represented to him. Laughter rang out and danced across the open field like so many winged fairies of fantasy tales that he felt like laughing with them too, until he realized the laughter was his own.
This was the most beautiful place he had ever been. The most wonderful place in all of God's creation. It must be heaven, or at least it must be paradise, and he knew he had never felt this way any where else before. He had never felt this kind of happiness or this kind of freedom. He vowed to his haunted soul and tortured heart that he would stay forever where he knew nothing dark could reach him. Here he was safe.
On the distant horizon, a huge cloud was taking shape. The fury of ten thousand demons seemed to be boiling and roiling within its fathomless black depths. It ominously stretched outward across the sky until it had covered everything to the North including the mountains and low rolling hills. Swift swirling winds began to blow and wail deep within its inky depths as the evil mass started to move forward across the sky reaching out to the golden Sun itself.
He was sleeping peacefully in the warm grass when a cold blustery gust of wind woke him. At first he did not understand what was going on. 'Why is it so cold?' he wondered as a shiver shook him and rattled his teeth. Standing up he walked over the top of the small hill in front of him and came face to face with the boiling mass of the black cloud. "Nooo..." He breathed in disbelief. "Noooo, it can't happen here. Not here." He watched the spectacle unable to tear his eyes away despite the fear and bile that rose up in his chest and threatened to chock off his air. "It's coming for me again. How did it find me here?" His voice shook with emotions he could not control. "Will I never be free? Will I never have peace?" As he watched the cloud roll closer and closer to the
golden light of the Sun, Kenshin was gripped with a sudden immense feeling of rage. It boiled and burned within his belly until it burst forth and spilled over and became a living emotion of liquid fire.
"Its not right, that it is not." he breathed between gritted teeth. "Its not right that I should be so hunted for the rest of my life." The rage continued to grow and grow until Kenshin became the rage. Clenched fists, turned white with the ferocity of his feelings, rose skyward to the advancing darkness, and he screamed in defiance. "I will not be afraid! I will not run! I will not let you beat me again!" Long fingers of blinding white lightening flashed across the sky and struck the ground exploding in a deafening thunder as it threw up massive amounts of earth and stone into the air in
furious response to his challenge, but Kenshin continued relentlessly showing no outward signs of fear. "You are not stronger than I, and I will beat you! I will win! Do you hear me, ACUMA? I WILL WIN!!! I WILL WIN!! I WILL SEND YOU BACK TO HELL!!! I WILL DEFEAT
YOU!!!" He was screaming and shaking his defiant fist at the thundering darkness as he stood alone on top of the small hill waiting for the cloud to over run him. "I will not be afraid. I will not run. I will not let you beat me again. I will not run."
A man in a faded pink gi and white hakama stands alone atop a grassy hill, fist raised in absolute defiance as he faces what could be his own death bearing down upon him. His deep amber eyes pierce the darkness of the roiling black mass with twin daggers of pure golden light. Lightening flashes in response stabbing the ground around the man's feet, but he gracefully leaps out of the way and dodges the deadly fingers of death meant to incinerate him. Roaring thunder screams the clouds frustration and increasing rage, as a barrage of dozens and dozens of the deadly white lances lash out at the aggravating and seemingly untouchable man. Again his body seems to slide though the static filled air appearing and disappearing at incredible speeds without once being touched by the demon heat. Around him the ground grows black and charred as again and again he
eludes the destruction of the Demons Fingers.
Kenshin could feel hands shaking him and a familiar voice calling his name from somewhere faraway. He struggled to let go of the vision and return to the reality where the voice was trying to pull him, but he was caught up in the evil pull of the darkness bearing down on him. Reality cast a shiver of concern over him. Could he get out in time.
"Kenshin!!!" Kaoru cried his name frantically as she shook his thin shoulders trying desperately to wake him up. After Sargent Izukia had shown her to his room, she had entered only to find him crying out and thrashing desperately upon his futon caught up in the furious grasp of a terrible nightmare. And now, try as she might, she could not get him to wake up.
"Kenshin! Kenshin!" Her voice was bordering on the hysterical as she watched his eyes roll backwards in their sockets, and his breathing become more labored and raspy. "Noooo, come back. Don't do this to me, Kenshin. Not now." Tears were streaming down her pale face as she searched his for any sign of consciousness or change. "Please don't do this. Don't leave me here, you stupid ruroni!" She continued to shake him and cry his name, but he would not wake up.
"Kami-sama, help me... please... help me." Hopelessness began to overcome her, and her head dropped down onto his heaving chest in defeat "What else can I do?" She sobbed brokenly as her tears bathed his bare chest in tiny wet rivulets. "Kami, how do I reach him where he's at? How?" Despair seeped into her soul, and Kaoru felt herself losing her resolve. Then suddenly she was inexplicably gripped by an angry frustration that rose and consumed all her other emotions. Snapping her head back in fury, she glared malevolently at the unconscious body of the man she loved through glittering tear filled eyes.
"Damn you Kenshin Himura." She bit out between clenched teeth. " I don't know what you think I'm made of, but I can only take so much grief and heart ache from you, and I didn't come all the way from Tokyo to watch you go through horrors like this. NOW WAKE UP!!!" Irrational fury seized her and she pulled her hand back to slap him hard across the face. He did not move. "I said wake up, Kenshin!" She yelled and slapped him again, and again, and again. "Dammit, wake up you stupid ruroni... wake up and talk to me. Do something... anything." but he remain still and unmoving. Ragged sobs seized her and she collapsed on his bare chest in despair. "Please, wake up.... pl-please. I'm so frightened, Kenshin. I'm so afraid." Wrapping her arms around him as much as she was able to, Kaoru held his body as tightly to her as she could. Soft wet tears of hopelessness continued to wash a wet path across his skin as pitiful child-like sobs shook her slender body. "I'm so afraid..."
The pain was shocking to him. 'She's hitting me,' He thought. 'She's actually hitting me.' Kenshin couldn't figure out what on earth had gotten into Kaoru-dono that she would strike him over and over so many times, and with so much force at that. ' I don't think she's spared a bit of her strength. This really hurts.' He tried to lift his hand to stop her but found he could not. In fact, he found it appeared his entire body was frozen. 'What's wrong with me? Why can't I move?' He considered this for a few moments with concerned curiosity then he realized Kaoru was crying. No, she was not just crying. She was sobbing like a child who desperately needed to be comforted and reassured. Kenshin felt the frustrating pain of not being able to put his arms around
her and hold her.
'Don't cry koishii.' He tried to say, but found he could not speak either. He was
beginning to get worried. 'What has happened to me?' Then it came to him all at once. The dream, the cloud, the hill, the darkness, Kaoru hitting him. 'She pulled me out.' He was incredulous. 'How did she do that?' Kenshin was confused. 'How did she get here? What is she doing here? Dear God,' His heart began to ache with the need to know. 'Am I dreaming or is she really my room with me?!' Suddenly focusing on getting his body to respond to his commands and move became the most important thing in his life. 'It must be shock from everything that was happening on the hill. I have to find a way to break out from this. I have to.' His concentration increased as he focused on reanimating his muscles and nerves.
She tried to stop the tears, but it was impossible. Why couldn't she reach him? What was happening to him right now? What horrors held him so tightly bound to his dreams that he could not break free? More tears slid down her cheeks to splash on his chest making a puddle over his heart.
'Come back, Kenshin.' Her voice was a broken whisper filled with pain. 'Make them let you go and come back. Come back to me and I'll never let them have you again. I swear I won't.'
"'I have not left you for a long time now, Kaoru-dono. I am always with you. That I am." The voice she heard was very low and hoarse as Kenshin forced it from his throat with tremendous effort. Her head shot up and anxious tear filled blue eyes searched for and found groggy amethyst ones. They blinked with heavy lids then focused on her, and blinked again. A deep sigh lifted his chest and he slowly, carefully lifted an arm to draped it across her shoulders and tenderly hug her against him. "Please, don't cry. It makes me sad when you cry, Kaoru-dono. Please, don't cry anymore. Everything will be all right."
"Kenshin..." her voice was barely audible as she gazed at his pale face. "Are you really awake?" She gently cupped his cool cheek in her hand as she continued to search his eyes for signs of sanity and recognition.
He smiled with some difficulty but managed to turn his face into her palm and rub his cheek against her hand. "Yes, koishii. I am awake." Then a violent shudder shook his entire body and he gasp sharply as a spasm of horrific pain gripped him arching his back and shoulders up off the futon in response. Kaoru was immediately worried and frightened as she watched his body jerk and fight the terrible pain.
"Kenshin!" She cried out in helpless anxiety. "Are you all right? What it happening to you? Why are you in pain? Kenshin? Tell me how I can help you, please."
As the shuddering and jerking stopped, and Kenshin's body finally relaxed back onto the futon, a quivering hand rose and covered the hand she had placed on his cheek. "You are helping me as long as you are not a dream, my beautiful Kaoru-dono. Are you a dream?" There was uncertainty in his soft voice, and his other arm tightened around her. Dark violet eyes opened and met her concerned blue ones. "Are you going to disappear in but a few moments when I have fully recovered the use of my muscles?" His eyes earnestly searched her face for an answer.
"No Kenshin. I am not a dream. Here," she took his hand and pressed it against her cheek and nuzzled against his palm. "Can you feel me?"
"Yes. I can feel you." He smiled and pulled her head down so he could rest his chin against her forehead. "But are you real, my koishii? Or have I made you up again because I have missed you so much?" Kenshin rolled onto his side so he could look directly into her face his eyes caressing the beauty that he loved the most. "Has my poor lonely heart fabricated you out of my memories in my hour of deepest loneliness? I have fabricated you in my dreams before only to have you vanish when I open my eyes." He ran a gentle finger down the length of her slim nose.
"It seems your muscles are working better." She observed in a quiet nervous voice. as she noticed the increased smoothness of his movements. Kaoru suddenly felt very shy with Kenshin at this moment, and found she could not meet his gaze. He had never been like this with her before. He had never talked to her like this or held her like this, and she was more than a little unsure of how she should react to him.
"So it would seem." He agreed flexing his elbow then moving his hand to trace the line of her delicate jaw. "How did you get here?" The question caught her off guard. And startled out of her nervousness, she looked directly into his eyes.
"We came by ship." she blurted out.
"We?" An elegant brown brow raised in surprise. "Who else is with you?"
"Yahiko, and...." she stopped and bit her lip. Kuso! 'Should I tell him?'
"Ahh, it will be good to see Yahiko again. I have missed his energy and spirit." His smile was warm and his face more relaxed. "And who else is here, Kaoru-dono? You almost mentioned someone else. Who is it?"
"Ummm, well....." She was evading and she could see by the look in his eyes that he knew it. Her eyes dropped again.
"Tell me." His thumb brushed lightly over her bottom lip and her mind went completely blank.
"Ahhh.... n-nn-nani?" Confused blue eyes blinked and looked blankly at his face.
He laughed softly and left her lips alone for the moment. "Tell me who else came with you."
Kaoru lowered her eyes and concentrated on a spot somewhere around his adam's apple. "It was Hiko-san." She said blandly to his throat. " Hiko-san came with us." This statement was followed by total silence. After a moment, she snuck a peek at him through her long black lashes and was surprised to find him watching her with a strange intensity, his eyes a deep purple. Finally she timidly met his eyes.
"Why did my Master come with you?" The question was spoken in a flat none emotional
tone.
"Because he wanted to find you." It was a simply spoked statement coupled with a
distracted shrug. "It was he who came to me first trying to find you, then we all came to Kyoto looking for you."
"HE came to you?"
"Yes." when he didn't say anything else, she urged him a little. "Kenshin? Is it alright Hiko-san is here?" He could hear worry in her voice.
Soft lavender eyes dipped to meet hers in a long searching look that took her breath away and sent her heart pounding. "Yes, it is alright he is here. In a way I am glad he is, but do not tell him that or he will be all over me with his baka-deshi crap, and I am really not up to it. That I am not." A self mocking half smile curved his handsome mouth totally captivating Kaoru who could not take her eyes off them. Kenshin noticed where she was looking and he carefully tilted her chin up until her eyes met his again. He could feel her trembling against him, and the arm he already had around her gently pulled her just a little closer.
Her breathing quickened as he closed the space between their bodies capturing her hands between them where they were pressed against his chest. "Kaoru," his voice was a husky whisper as he leaned into her and pressed his forehead against hers. His free hand gently began to stroke the line of her cheek and the curve of her throat and collar bone. "Do you know how beautiful you really are?"
She shivered as his fingers traced delicate pathways beneath her hair and across the sensitive skin of her nape. Pushing with slight pressure against his chest, she managed to free one of her hands which she used to tenderly touch the flesh of his back and shoulders wanting to touch him as well. To her astonishment, he trembled at her light touch, and she heard him catch his breath when she traced her fingers down his spine. "Kenshin?" she pulled away from him and looked into his face. His eyes were closed and there was an odd look of absorption about him. "Shouldn't I touch you?" She bit her lip in indecision afraid she had done something terribly wrong. "Am I not supposed to? I do not know anything about this kind of thing?" She stammered feeling like an idiot. "I mean... I have never... I have not.... oh dammit." She swore and jumped to her feet and
walked away from the futon hugging her arms around herself trying to gain control over her raging emotions.
Kenshin lay on his side in a state of complete shock. Everything had been perfect, and then... All at once Kaoru was asking him the most foolish questions he had ever heard, but before he could get his brain to function and reassure her everything was fine, she had stammered and stuttered herself into embarrassment and pulled away from him. 'I better do something to fix this.' He thought and stiffly got to his feet and quietly approached her.Gently he wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her back against him. Resting his chin on her slim shoulder, he held her stiff body silently until he felt it relax against him. Then slowly and tenderly he buried his face against her neck softly nuzzling his lips against the curve of her throat feeling her tremble in his arms. The tip of his tongue tentatively stroked the soft skin he found there, and she moaned letting her head fall back onto his shoulder as passion and pleasure claimed her at the same time.
"Saiai," his breath was warm on her soft skin. "I enjoy your touch." He whispered into her small ear. "Perhaps more than you can possibly understand. You are my light, Kaoru. You are the heat that melts all my resolve." His arms loosened and he tenderly turned her in his arms so they faced one another then his hands gently cupped her face and he looked deep into her emotion filled eyes. "Listen to me, my koishii. I have been to a place that was so terrible I was almost certain I was not going to live through it, but deep within my heart I swore if I did there was one thing I was going to do. No matter what else I did, I was going to do this one thing... if I was ever given the
chance."
She searched his face trying to read his thoughts but not daring to guess or presume to guess what he was thinking. Despite what Yahiko and Makida-san had said to her, Kenshin's thoughts were still his own. Her hands had raised to grasp his upper arms instinctively holding on to him for support as her knees started to shake.
Kenshin watched the play of emotions across her face. "What are you thinking my little koibito?" He asked in a soft voice as he looked deep inside her dark cobalt eyes. "Do you know what I promised myself I would do, Kaoru?" His voice was deepening to that husky whisper again, and Kaoru's body responded quickly by leaning towards him in a display of desire and need she could not control.
"No." She was starting to tremble all over again. He had called her Kaoru twice now
without any honorifics at all, and she could feel nervous butterflies battling for space inside her stomach.
"I promised myself that I would tell you I loved you, that I did."
Kenshin watched as those beautiful deep blue eyes closed for a moment then opened and looked up at him in astonished wonder. The sheen of unshed tears caught the light of the lamps in the room and glittered like a thousand tiny sapphires as she studied his face . "You do? You really love me?" 'Kami-sama, can it be true? Can he really love me??'
"Yes," he smiled and kissed the tip of her nose then rubbed his against it. "I really do. Can you not tell, saiai? Can you not feel my heart and how it is beating for you? Can you not feel the aching loneliness in my soul? Can you not hear it crying out for you, for your soul?" His mouth was coming closer to hers as he slowly lowered his head and shifted it to one side. "Can you not feel me, my angel?"
"Yes..." Her ragged answer was lost amidst the hunger of his kiss as he closed the short distance between them and captured her parted lips inside of his partially opened mouth. Kaoru moaned softly beneath the pressure, and she opened her mouth farther giving Kenshin deeper access to that delicious wet haven. His arms wrapped around her pulling her softness fully against the hard planes of his body. One hand rose to cradle the back of her head so he could increase the pressure and deepen the contact of his kiss, and the tip of his tongue touched the moist curve of her top lip.
Kaoru became liquid heat in his arms, and the last of her nervous shyness smouldered and finally melted away. Her arms snaked around his waist, and her nails began to press into the skin of his shoulders as she pulled herself up against his body to return the fierceness of his embrace. Little primitive whimpering sounds escaped from her throat as the heat of Kenshin's kiss continued to burn her innocence away piece by piece, and instinctively her jaw slackened beneath the ravening passion of that kiss.
Kenshin felt Kaoru's passionate and willing response to him, and his control over his emotional hunger began to slip. When he felt her chin drop, his tongue grew a mind of it's own and slide between her soft lips and began exploring the moistness of her mouth as well as seeking out and engaging in a passionate dance of desire with hers.
A violent shudder quaked through Kaoru's body as he tasted deeply of her, and suddenly Kenshin had to clasp her more tightly against him as her knees buckled beneath her. He reluctantly released her mouth to look down into her flushed face. He gazed lovingly into huge deep blue passion filled eyes, at beautiful dark red lips swollen and quavering from the pressure of his kisses, and at her usually smooth raven black hair that was now hanging in tumbled disarray where his hands had mused it. She was the most beautiful woman Kenshin had ever seen.
"I do love you, Kaoru. My koishii. With all my heart and soul. I will be yours forever, and I will never leave you again. I promise you that. I will never leave you again." Despite his obvious weakened condition, his arms remained strong enough to scooped her up as if she weighed no more than a feather. Kenshin carried her across the room to the futon where he kneeled down and laid her gently on her back, and then sat down next to her.
Tender cool hands rose to touch his face, and he captured them to dust kisses along each finger and palm. "I love you too, Kenshin-saiai." That tenderly spoken phrase caused him to freeze, and Kenshin found himself unable to move or hardly even able to breath. "Did you hear me, Kenshin? I love you too." He was gripping her hands so tightly she had to set up to pull them free. She cupped his face again and tilted his chin so he would look at her, but his eyes were tightly closed . Kaoru could see the hint of moisture oozing out from beneath his thick eyelashes. "Kenshin?"
Deep amethyst eyes, moist with unshed tears, looked at her from a pale uncertain face, but Kaoru just smiled and gently pressed her lips to his as she pushed strands of his long red hair out of his eyes. "I love you." She whispered again. "I love you, my beautiful ruroni. I love you." His hands reached out and grasped her tightly around the waist while he pressed his forehead against hers.
"Kaoru." His voice cracked with emotion and she felt her heart lurch in her chest. "Beautiful Kaoru," he said again then tilted his head and took her lips into his own. Wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders, she opened her mouth to him and tasted the saltiness of his tears on his lips. Then hands and fingers with a will of their own, wound themselves through the silken length of his glorious red hair stroking and combing it as she returned his ardent kisses with all the love she felt for him. As she did this, a ragged groan rose from deep within his chest and his mouth became a hungry thing against hers, and he lowered her gently to the futon beneath him.
Kaoru's world started to spin out of control as Kenshin's hands started to loosen and remove her clothing, and then he began to explore the soft warm treasures he had uncovered. Her body arched and shivered with pleasure beneath the touch of his hands and his lips. Breathless with a passion she never knew existed, she offered her whole self, body and soul to him. It was a pure offering made without reservation or regret, and Kenshin felt as if he held heaven itself in his arms.
As he smoothly ran his calloused hands intimately over her flesh, Kenshin knew he would never again be able to hold or love another woman. Kaoru was his light, his angel, his very salvation. Life would be incomplete and empty without her by his side. She made him whole again, and he could no longer exist without her.
Kenshin knew Kaoru was a virgin, and he did everything he could to make this first
experience for her as pleasurable and wonderful as he could. He kissed and touched and caressed her body until, when the moment came that he made her his, the pain of her innocence did not make any difference at all. It came and passed hardly being noticed by either of them.
They lay side by side holding one another in the aftermath of their lovemaking simply enjoying the feel of each others skin being pressed together. Kaoru had never known that anything could be so wonderful or amazing as what had just happened between her and Kenshin. It had been like swimming in liquid light, and she was already thinking about the next time he held her that way.
A physical expression of love. What a wondrous thing. Snuggling closer into the curve of his neck and shoulder, she closed her eyes and let a loving smile of contentment cross her full swollen lips.
Kenshin lay on his back holding Kaoru against his side. He was idly stroking the soft flesh of her shoulder and thinking about the future and what he was going to do about her. 'I won't leave her again. That I will not.' He promised himself. 'I do not think I could now even if I tried. But what do I do when Saitoh and I have to leave for the mountains? I cannot take her with me out there. I cannot knowingly put her in that kind of danger, but.... how do I leave her here without her thinking I am leaving her behind again?' Instinctively he pulled her closer to him and pressed a kiss against her forehead. 'I will not regret doing this.' He vowed to his heart. 'These may be the
only moments of happiness we ever have together.' Again he hugged her close. He did not want to think about that right now. Right now Kaoru was here, warm, and loving in his arms and that was all he was going to think about. That was all for now.
So with that particular thought in mind, Kenshin carefully rolled over until Kaoru was underneath him again. No words were spoken between them, he just buried his lips against her throat and slid his hands beneath her hips and lifted her up against him. She gasped his name and dug her nails into his back as his hands and mouth touched her. Her heated response to him brought a satisfied smile to his lips just before they rose to claim hers. This was all he wanted to think about right now. Kaoru in his arms. This was all that mattered.
************
It was early afternoon when Kenshin and Kaoru sat down to eat a light meal of fruit, rice crackers, and tea. Both were wearing loose fitting yukata's that wrapped around their bodies and tied with a cord at the waist. Kaoru's was a pale shade of lightest lavender, while Kenshin's was a plain black bringing his long red hair to blazing life against its darkness. Unfortunately the black material also brought out the fact that he was very pale and ill looking as well. Now that Kaoru was able to take a long hard look at him, she could see what Sargent Makado was talking about. Kenshin really was just a mere shadow of the man he was when he left her in Tokyo a few short months ago, and her smooth brow wrinkled in frightened concern. He really did not look like himself at all. He was much too thin for her peace of mind..
"Kenshin...?" Kaoru bit her lip as she tried to think of the best way to approach him with her concerns without upsetting his pride and dignity as a man.
"Hmmm," he looked up at her from his plate one dark brown eyebrow raised expectantly. "Nani, Kaoru-dono?" Cocking his head to one side as he noticed her trepidation, he reached across the small table to cover her hand with his. "Are you alright? Kioshii?"
Looking up into his concerned violet eyes, she smiled and shook her head laughing softly. "No, but that is Ok. It's just... " she let her free hand reach out to caress his face. "It is just I am worried about you. That is all it is really. I am just so worried about everything that seems to have happened to you since you left." Her fingers gently brushed stray strands of his hair off his forehead. "You are so thin, and you look so tired and run down. I have never seen dark circles like these under your eyes before."
He caught her hand and brought it to his lips where he pressed a soft kiss into its palm. "Are you trying to tell me I look terrible, Kaoru-dono? That I look sick and weak?" He looked at her over her hand and held her gaze steadily. "Is that what you are trying to tell me without actually telling me?"
Her mouth had suddenly turned too dry to form any intelligent sounds, so she had to answer him with a faint nod of her head. How did he know what she had been desperately trying NOT to insinuate to him? Her eyes closed as a feeling of sadness fell over her. 'Why can I not ever do anything the right way?' She asked herself. "I-I am not trying to tell you I think you're weak... please do not think that." The words that escaped her throat were chocked and raspy as she struggled to make her voice work again. "I am just... I..." She hummphed a sigh of futility and tried to pull her hand away from him, but he held it firmly refusing to relinquish it to her.
"How do you know that is what I think?" He asked, his voice was tinged with irritation and just a note of impatience.
Kaoru's head whipped up in stunned shock as she stared into his angry face. Kenshin had never spoken to her in that tone of voice before. In fact, she had never heard him speak to anyone they knew in that manner. "Kenshin... I-I'm s-s..." but he never let her finish.
"How do you know what is in my mind Kaoru? Why do you not ever give me a chance to say any thing to you before you start trying to mollify my supposedly bruised ego?" He sighed in exasperation and pressed his forehead against the back of her hand. "Why can you not trust me?"
"Trust you?!" Incredulity filled her voice. "Of course I trust you. How can you even say that to me? I have trusted you with my life, Yahiko's life, and more other lives that I can count. And you dare set there and have the audacity to say to me that I do not trust you!" She was almost yelling at him by the time she finished, but he remained unmoving from his position.
"Kenshin!" She growled at him. "You better say something."
"Or what, Kaoru? You will hit me.... Go ahead. Get it over with. I can wait until you are done." Kenshin's voice was flat and emotionless.
"You can what?" Confusion replaced her anger. "Kenshin? What do mean you can wait
until I'm done?"
His eyes lifted and looked blandly at her confused face. "Just what I said, koishii. I can wait to finish this conversation until after you have vented your anger out by beating the shit out of me like you usually do. Once you are done, we can discuss this issue rationally." He dropped his head back down to her hand. "So, get on with it. Like I said, I can wait until you are finished. Just hurry, Ok. The sooner you are done, the sooner the headache will go away. That it will."
Kaoru sat completely still unable to move at all. Is that how he really saw things between them? Was that how things REALLY were between them? Her head drooped as she struggled to think about what he had just said. Did she really hit him that much when she got angry with him? Did it really happen so often that he had come to expect it as a common occurrence in his daily life?
"Oh Kami," she whispered. "It does." Suddenly she was seized by the uncontrollable urge to giggle, and the evil little demons of mirth started to tumble over her lips in an unstoppable stream before she could control the impulse. She tried to clamp her mouth closed without success, so she tried covering it with her free hand, but that didn't work either. Holding her breath seemed to be her last resort, but when she could not hold it any longer, the rush of absurd giggles spilled forward in an waterfall of sparking inane hilarity.
Kenshin peeked furtively at her over the back of her hand an amused smile crossing his thin pale face. He could see her trying very hard to keep herself from laughing and losing that battle miserably until at last she burst into a full fledged fit of cascading giggles. A low laugh rumbled from his throat as he rose up to watch the spectacle she was making trying to cover up her spontaneous amusement. He had never seen Kaoru like this before. His chin dropped onto the back of her hand, and he found himself laughing with her.
"Oh dear," she was breathless and her stomach hurt by the time she was able to get control of her giggling fit. "I haven't done anything like that for a really long time." Wiping a few tears from her burning eyes, she noticed the dancing violet ones watching her. "What are you looking at?" She demanded in a voice that was still laced with laughter.
"Nothing." He shrugged with a devilish smile on his handsome face. "Just a pretty girl laughing herself silly for no reason."
Kaoru tried to glare at him, but found the effort completely wasted as more giggles started to bubbled up her delicate throat when she caught the smirk growing on Kenshin's face. "Stop it." She threw her napkin at him. "I'm supposed to be mad at you." Laughing with undisguised merriment, Kenshin easily dodged the floating napkin then yanked Kaoru around the table so that she fell into an undignified pile in the middle of his lap. "Heeeyyy!" She squealed just before he tipped her over one of his thighs and began to tickle her sides. "Oooohhh nnoooo....! Keennnsshinnn...!" Her voice
rose high on a scream of pure hysteria mixed with frenzied squeals of uncontrolled laughter.
Kaoru's arms and legs flailed in the air ineffectually as she pleaded with Kenshin to stop his merciless torture.
"Are you going to yell at me anymore?" He asked as he met her wild blue eyes with his mock stern violet ones.
"No, no. I promise." She acquiesced breathlessly while frantically shaking her head.
"Are you going to let me talk for a change before you go jumping to a bunch of conclusions that are going to do nothing but get ME into trouble?" The smile on his face was almost feral in its wickedness as he leaned closer to her face pressing his nose against hers.
"Yes, yes I will I swear. Just please stop. I cannot stand anymore." Panicky blue eyes beseeched him for mercy as she pleadingly searched his face.
"Hmmm, you seem sincere, but..." Leaning back, he let his fingers slid threateningly along the side of her rib cage while he watched with maliciously amused violet eyes as her eyes grow even huger than they already were. A soft but decidedly wicked laugh escaped him as he leaned down and buried his face in the ebony locks at her neck. "Don't worry, koishii, I am through. That I am." More laughter rose from his chest as a massive sigh of relief escaped her. "But I must tell you something," he whispered mockingly in her ear. "You are so beautiful when you panic." Then he pulled back to gently kiss her quavering lips. "Shall we finish our conversation now, jou-chan?"
The voice turned serious and just a bit stern as he addressed her formally.
"Yes, I guess we better before you do something else terrible to me." Kaoru's sarcasm pulled another deep laugh from the man who held her.
"Alright, but you mind your manners, little jou-chan. Is that clear?"
"Yes Sir, Himura-san." If he was going to call her a young lady, well she would just call him Mister. Violet eyes met blue and they exchanged an amused stubborn look.
"Ka, Kaoru-dono. It seems you know your place." Kenshin watched her face closely for any reaction to his joke, but she just sat staring at him with that innocent look on her face. 'Hmmm,' He thought. 'I better watch myself.'
"Alright, now where were we before you.... well, before things went the way they went?"
She smiled and thought to herself. 'That was diplomatic of you. Chicken.' Out loud she said, "I believe you were accusing me of not trusting you, or something stupid like that. Yes, I believe that is what it was."
"Uh-huh. And you forcefully disagreed as I recall. Is this true?" Himura Kenshin's Court of Diplomacy continued.
"Yes, that is true. Himura-san." She smiled her most condescending without being
completely disrespectful. His pursed lips and amused eyes took note both of the tone, and of the honorific.
"I see, jouchan. Now, do you think it is possible for you behave like a proper adult? Can you set still for longer than two minutes and remain completely quiet?"
"Nani?" She looked at him confused. All thought of being condescending and sarcastic forgotten. "What did you say?"
"I know you're not deaf, Kaoru. I said, can you set quietly and not speak for more than two minutes?" Looking into his dark amethyst eyes, she could see that all joking had been abandoned and he was quite serious.
"Of course I can." Her tone was haughty and irritated in an effort to cover up her previous misstep. "What kind of a question is that?"
"It's a logical one, Kaoru. It is a known fact that whenever I start speaking to you, you always get angry and start yelling and beating on me, and I never get to finish what I want to say. That I do not." He forced her to look at him again. "Is this not true?"
Kaoru squirmed uncomfortably in Kenshin's lap. He was right and she knew it, but she did not want to admit it. Not to him. Kuso!
"Kaoru?" It felt like his eyes were penetrating her skull.
"Yes, it's true." Dammit.
"Ka. Now, I want you to swear to me that you will set right here and not move or speak until I am finished with what I have to say to you. Do you understand." She nodded her head dejectedly. "No matter how long it takes." Her head snapped around to meet his gaze in alarm. "Not one word, Kaoru. Not one. Even if it takes the rest of the day. I want your word. Your word as a swordswoman." Amethyst eyes deepened to a rich purple. "Your word, Kaoru."
Swallowing hard to get past the lump in her throat, she met the forth rightness of his gaze as steady as she could. He wanted her word as a swordswoman. That meant she would be swearing on her honor as a warrior that she would not speak a single word until he had finished saying whatever he had to say. No matter how long it took. Kami... Kaoru felt a hand of profound unease close around her heart. Could she do it? She had never been able to keep her peace in her whole life. 'I have to do this.' She agonized in her mind. 'Kami-sama, please help me. Help me keep my damn mouth shut. Just this once, help me to not say a word until Kenshin is finished... no matter how long it takes.'
"Alright, Kenshin." She lowered her head humbly. "You have my word as a swordswoman. I will not speak one word until you're finished."
"No matter how long it takes, Kaoru?"
She heaved a long sigh trying to calm her thundering heart and settle her jangled nerves. "Yes," she met his eyes levelly. "No matter how long it takes."
"Very well." His voice softened to a warm and comforting tone, and his arms settled her more comfortably in his lap. Then he gently pulled her closer to his chest and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "I will tell you what I meant when I said you did not trust me."
Kaoru closed her eyes and tried to prepare herself for one of the most difficult times of her life. Listening to Kenshin tell her she did not trust him, and not defend herself to him was going to be pure hell. She turned her face into his chest and grabbed a handful of his yukata and waited for him to begin.
" When I said you did not trust me, koishii, what I meant was not with your life or the lives of the ones we love like Yahiko, Sano, and the girls. I meant you do not trust me to love you. You do not trust my patience , tolerance, or understanding of you and the person you are. Of all the people I have met in my life, you are perhaps the only one who sees me as all three of the men I have been and accepts me as each one and all at the same time." Soft lips caressed the top of her head and his arms tightened tenderly. "You have never seen the blood that stains my hands, or the guilt that eats away at my soul. You refuse to accept my opinion of myself, and continue to fervently preach to me
what a good man I am NOW, and that I must stop living my life in the past where I can change nothing." A ragged sigh lifted his chest beneath her cheek, and she could hear the steady thud-thud, thud-thud of his heart as it beat his life's blood through his body.
"You are the most brave, stubborn, willful, and argumentative woman I have ever known in my life. There is a fierceness inside your soul that draws me to you in ways I have not felt with any other woman before. You have captured my heart and captivated my soul, Kaoru, but in many ways you are also the bane of my life." He heard her catch her breath when he said this, and he tightened his embrace around her as she stiffened against him.
"Listen to me, koishii." Kenshin's made his voice as gentle as he could. "Listen and understand. I had lived my life alone not caring for anyone, not worrying about anyone's safety but my own for nearly 11 years. The only people I cared about were strangers, but I was never attached to any of them. No one ever really mattered to me, but when I met you, everything in my world started to change. I found a home, a family, and I found something that was worth caring about. I found you, koishii. I found you, and my life has not been the same since."
Kaoru felt a sob rising up in her throat as emotion raged through her. Her face was already laying on Kenshin's chest, so she just turned it the rest of the way and buried it in the curve of his shoulder as the tears began to fall.
"Are you understanding me? My beautiful koishii? Can you finally see what I was trying to say to you when I said you did not trust me?" His lips brushed against her sensitive temple and let one hand raise up to stroke her silken ebony tresses. "Do you know how much I care for you? Kaoru? Do you know how much of my heart and soul you truly hold in your small strong hands?"
Her head shook almost imperceptibly as she burrowed closer to him. Dipping his head lower, he whispered huskily into her small shell-like ear. "You hold all of them, my aikouka. You are my heart and soul."
"Kenshin..." his name was a choking whisper that was muffled against the flesh of his throat.
"Shhhh," he cradled her close like a precious child. "Don't cry, Kaoru. Not over me loving you so much. I wanted it to make you happy, not make you cry. Please don't cry, Sweetheart. You'll tear my insides to pieces."
"Oh Kenshin, I am not sad. OH NO!!" She shot straight up and her hands clamped over her mouth. Blue eyes wide with horrified guilt stared at his face as she realized she had just broken her promise to him. The words had just tumbled out of her mouth before she knew if he was finished or not. It had just happened. Kuso!
Kenshin stared at her tear wet face in confusion trying to figure out what was the matter with her until he realized what she was thinking. He tossed his head back and let himself laugh. "Oh my wonderful, funny koishii." He pressed his nose against hers. "I was finished, that I was."
"You were??" Her soft trembling hand touched his face with the lightest of touches.
"Yes, that I was." He turned his head so he could softly kiss those hesitant fingers.
"I did not break my word?" Sparkling anxious sapphires searched his face earnestly as she voiced her fears. "Was I honorable? Did I make it?"
"No my saiai. You did not break your word, and yes, you were honorable." Tender lips kissed her damp cheeks as his warm hands cradled her head. "You were magnificent. You were beautiful. You are the most wondrous woman in this world." His lips were dusting kisses over her eyes, her forehead, her nose, her chin. "I love you, my beautiful Kaoru. Please never doubt that because it will always be true." And he pulled her into a deep embrace as his mouth closed over
hers and his arms crushed her to his chest.
'I love you too, my beautiful, beautiful ruroni.' Kaoru's heart whispered these words fervently to the man who held her so close to his heart. 'I will love you always.'
As he released her mouth and buried his face in the creamy flesh of her throat, he heard her whisper in his ear. "Don't let go of me, Kenshin. Please, don't ever let go of me." The implication of what she meant seemed to be the last binding tie around his heart and soul, and a rush of love he had never thought he was capable of feeling spilled out of him and enveloped the incredible woman he held.
"I will not, Kaoru." His voice was raspy and thick with the fierceness of his feelings. "I swear to you I will never let go of you. Masaka." He claimed her lips once more, and the lovers became lost to the world around them as they found a new world of their own inside each others hearts.
Please read and review. Thanks. This story is really coming from somewhere deep inside of me. I am beginning to understand that more and more as I proof read it and try to re-edit it from word perfect into a text document so I can put it up on the net. The transference process sort of messes with the formatting appearance of the document itself, and has forced me to adjust certain things, but all in all it is still the same story I started out with.
Glossary of Japanese Words:
jodan=rice field, koishii=dear or darling, kuso=bullshit or shit, baka-deshi=stupid apprentice, saiai=beloved, koibito-sweetheart, ka=good, nani=what?, jou-chan=young lady, masaka=never, aikouka=lover
""=out loud conversation, ''=mental thoughts
Standard disclaimers apply. I do not own the Ruroni Kenshin charachters, I'm just having fun messing around with their lives at the moment.
Chapter Five
Resurrection of a souls life
He was walking through a joden like the ones his father used to have when he was alive and the family lived on his rice trading business. The long tall stalks of new green rice rose high; nearly as tall as he was. He had to lift his hands high to brush the grain laden tops as he passed by. A soft cool breeze wafted across the field of grasses and rice stalks bending them over beneath its gentle force and then letting them bounce back up only to capture them again in an age old dance of nature and new life. It was a beautiful day, and the smells of growing plants and moist earth filled the air
and mingled with the sounds of birds singing and crickets chirping. Kenshin could feel the warmth of the sun on his face and permeating his gi and hakema, and he closed his amethyst eyes in pleasure as he savored the sensation.
It seemed the peace that had eluded him for so long had finally been found, and he could feel his soul singing in pure joy at the discovery. "At last," he whispered to himself. "At last I am free." Suddenly seized by the unexplainable urge to run, his feet seemed to grow a mind of their own, and they began to carry him through the huge endless rice field leaping through the tall grasses as he ran. He just wanted to run and run and run for nothing more than the shear joy of the freedom it represented to him. Laughter rang out and danced across the open field like so many winged fairies of fantasy tales that he felt like laughing with them too, until he realized the laughter was his own.
This was the most beautiful place he had ever been. The most wonderful place in all of God's creation. It must be heaven, or at least it must be paradise, and he knew he had never felt this way any where else before. He had never felt this kind of happiness or this kind of freedom. He vowed to his haunted soul and tortured heart that he would stay forever where he knew nothing dark could reach him. Here he was safe.
On the distant horizon, a huge cloud was taking shape. The fury of ten thousand demons seemed to be boiling and roiling within its fathomless black depths. It ominously stretched outward across the sky until it had covered everything to the North including the mountains and low rolling hills. Swift swirling winds began to blow and wail deep within its inky depths as the evil mass started to move forward across the sky reaching out to the golden Sun itself.
He was sleeping peacefully in the warm grass when a cold blustery gust of wind woke him. At first he did not understand what was going on. 'Why is it so cold?' he wondered as a shiver shook him and rattled his teeth. Standing up he walked over the top of the small hill in front of him and came face to face with the boiling mass of the black cloud. "Nooo..." He breathed in disbelief. "Noooo, it can't happen here. Not here." He watched the spectacle unable to tear his eyes away despite the fear and bile that rose up in his chest and threatened to chock off his air. "It's coming for me again. How did it find me here?" His voice shook with emotions he could not control. "Will I never be free? Will I never have peace?" As he watched the cloud roll closer and closer to the
golden light of the Sun, Kenshin was gripped with a sudden immense feeling of rage. It boiled and burned within his belly until it burst forth and spilled over and became a living emotion of liquid fire.
"Its not right, that it is not." he breathed between gritted teeth. "Its not right that I should be so hunted for the rest of my life." The rage continued to grow and grow until Kenshin became the rage. Clenched fists, turned white with the ferocity of his feelings, rose skyward to the advancing darkness, and he screamed in defiance. "I will not be afraid! I will not run! I will not let you beat me again!" Long fingers of blinding white lightening flashed across the sky and struck the ground exploding in a deafening thunder as it threw up massive amounts of earth and stone into the air in
furious response to his challenge, but Kenshin continued relentlessly showing no outward signs of fear. "You are not stronger than I, and I will beat you! I will win! Do you hear me, ACUMA? I WILL WIN!!! I WILL WIN!! I WILL SEND YOU BACK TO HELL!!! I WILL DEFEAT
YOU!!!" He was screaming and shaking his defiant fist at the thundering darkness as he stood alone on top of the small hill waiting for the cloud to over run him. "I will not be afraid. I will not run. I will not let you beat me again. I will not run."
A man in a faded pink gi and white hakama stands alone atop a grassy hill, fist raised in absolute defiance as he faces what could be his own death bearing down upon him. His deep amber eyes pierce the darkness of the roiling black mass with twin daggers of pure golden light. Lightening flashes in response stabbing the ground around the man's feet, but he gracefully leaps out of the way and dodges the deadly fingers of death meant to incinerate him. Roaring thunder screams the clouds frustration and increasing rage, as a barrage of dozens and dozens of the deadly white lances lash out at the aggravating and seemingly untouchable man. Again his body seems to slide though the static filled air appearing and disappearing at incredible speeds without once being touched by the demon heat. Around him the ground grows black and charred as again and again he
eludes the destruction of the Demons Fingers.
Kenshin could feel hands shaking him and a familiar voice calling his name from somewhere faraway. He struggled to let go of the vision and return to the reality where the voice was trying to pull him, but he was caught up in the evil pull of the darkness bearing down on him. Reality cast a shiver of concern over him. Could he get out in time.
"Kenshin!!!" Kaoru cried his name frantically as she shook his thin shoulders trying desperately to wake him up. After Sargent Izukia had shown her to his room, she had entered only to find him crying out and thrashing desperately upon his futon caught up in the furious grasp of a terrible nightmare. And now, try as she might, she could not get him to wake up.
"Kenshin! Kenshin!" Her voice was bordering on the hysterical as she watched his eyes roll backwards in their sockets, and his breathing become more labored and raspy. "Noooo, come back. Don't do this to me, Kenshin. Not now." Tears were streaming down her pale face as she searched his for any sign of consciousness or change. "Please don't do this. Don't leave me here, you stupid ruroni!" She continued to shake him and cry his name, but he would not wake up.
"Kami-sama, help me... please... help me." Hopelessness began to overcome her, and her head dropped down onto his heaving chest in defeat "What else can I do?" She sobbed brokenly as her tears bathed his bare chest in tiny wet rivulets. "Kami, how do I reach him where he's at? How?" Despair seeped into her soul, and Kaoru felt herself losing her resolve. Then suddenly she was inexplicably gripped by an angry frustration that rose and consumed all her other emotions. Snapping her head back in fury, she glared malevolently at the unconscious body of the man she loved through glittering tear filled eyes.
"Damn you Kenshin Himura." She bit out between clenched teeth. " I don't know what you think I'm made of, but I can only take so much grief and heart ache from you, and I didn't come all the way from Tokyo to watch you go through horrors like this. NOW WAKE UP!!!" Irrational fury seized her and she pulled her hand back to slap him hard across the face. He did not move. "I said wake up, Kenshin!" She yelled and slapped him again, and again, and again. "Dammit, wake up you stupid ruroni... wake up and talk to me. Do something... anything." but he remain still and unmoving. Ragged sobs seized her and she collapsed on his bare chest in despair. "Please, wake up.... pl-please. I'm so frightened, Kenshin. I'm so afraid." Wrapping her arms around him as much as she was able to, Kaoru held his body as tightly to her as she could. Soft wet tears of hopelessness continued to wash a wet path across his skin as pitiful child-like sobs shook her slender body. "I'm so afraid..."
The pain was shocking to him. 'She's hitting me,' He thought. 'She's actually hitting me.' Kenshin couldn't figure out what on earth had gotten into Kaoru-dono that she would strike him over and over so many times, and with so much force at that. ' I don't think she's spared a bit of her strength. This really hurts.' He tried to lift his hand to stop her but found he could not. In fact, he found it appeared his entire body was frozen. 'What's wrong with me? Why can't I move?' He considered this for a few moments with concerned curiosity then he realized Kaoru was crying. No, she was not just crying. She was sobbing like a child who desperately needed to be comforted and reassured. Kenshin felt the frustrating pain of not being able to put his arms around
her and hold her.
'Don't cry koishii.' He tried to say, but found he could not speak either. He was
beginning to get worried. 'What has happened to me?' Then it came to him all at once. The dream, the cloud, the hill, the darkness, Kaoru hitting him. 'She pulled me out.' He was incredulous. 'How did she do that?' Kenshin was confused. 'How did she get here? What is she doing here? Dear God,' His heart began to ache with the need to know. 'Am I dreaming or is she really my room with me?!' Suddenly focusing on getting his body to respond to his commands and move became the most important thing in his life. 'It must be shock from everything that was happening on the hill. I have to find a way to break out from this. I have to.' His concentration increased as he focused on reanimating his muscles and nerves.
She tried to stop the tears, but it was impossible. Why couldn't she reach him? What was happening to him right now? What horrors held him so tightly bound to his dreams that he could not break free? More tears slid down her cheeks to splash on his chest making a puddle over his heart.
'Come back, Kenshin.' Her voice was a broken whisper filled with pain. 'Make them let you go and come back. Come back to me and I'll never let them have you again. I swear I won't.'
"'I have not left you for a long time now, Kaoru-dono. I am always with you. That I am." The voice she heard was very low and hoarse as Kenshin forced it from his throat with tremendous effort. Her head shot up and anxious tear filled blue eyes searched for and found groggy amethyst ones. They blinked with heavy lids then focused on her, and blinked again. A deep sigh lifted his chest and he slowly, carefully lifted an arm to draped it across her shoulders and tenderly hug her against him. "Please, don't cry. It makes me sad when you cry, Kaoru-dono. Please, don't cry anymore. Everything will be all right."
"Kenshin..." her voice was barely audible as she gazed at his pale face. "Are you really awake?" She gently cupped his cool cheek in her hand as she continued to search his eyes for signs of sanity and recognition.
He smiled with some difficulty but managed to turn his face into her palm and rub his cheek against her hand. "Yes, koishii. I am awake." Then a violent shudder shook his entire body and he gasp sharply as a spasm of horrific pain gripped him arching his back and shoulders up off the futon in response. Kaoru was immediately worried and frightened as she watched his body jerk and fight the terrible pain.
"Kenshin!" She cried out in helpless anxiety. "Are you all right? What it happening to you? Why are you in pain? Kenshin? Tell me how I can help you, please."
As the shuddering and jerking stopped, and Kenshin's body finally relaxed back onto the futon, a quivering hand rose and covered the hand she had placed on his cheek. "You are helping me as long as you are not a dream, my beautiful Kaoru-dono. Are you a dream?" There was uncertainty in his soft voice, and his other arm tightened around her. Dark violet eyes opened and met her concerned blue ones. "Are you going to disappear in but a few moments when I have fully recovered the use of my muscles?" His eyes earnestly searched her face for an answer.
"No Kenshin. I am not a dream. Here," she took his hand and pressed it against her cheek and nuzzled against his palm. "Can you feel me?"
"Yes. I can feel you." He smiled and pulled her head down so he could rest his chin against her forehead. "But are you real, my koishii? Or have I made you up again because I have missed you so much?" Kenshin rolled onto his side so he could look directly into her face his eyes caressing the beauty that he loved the most. "Has my poor lonely heart fabricated you out of my memories in my hour of deepest loneliness? I have fabricated you in my dreams before only to have you vanish when I open my eyes." He ran a gentle finger down the length of her slim nose.
"It seems your muscles are working better." She observed in a quiet nervous voice. as she noticed the increased smoothness of his movements. Kaoru suddenly felt very shy with Kenshin at this moment, and found she could not meet his gaze. He had never been like this with her before. He had never talked to her like this or held her like this, and she was more than a little unsure of how she should react to him.
"So it would seem." He agreed flexing his elbow then moving his hand to trace the line of her delicate jaw. "How did you get here?" The question caught her off guard. And startled out of her nervousness, she looked directly into his eyes.
"We came by ship." she blurted out.
"We?" An elegant brown brow raised in surprise. "Who else is with you?"
"Yahiko, and...." she stopped and bit her lip. Kuso! 'Should I tell him?'
"Ahh, it will be good to see Yahiko again. I have missed his energy and spirit." His smile was warm and his face more relaxed. "And who else is here, Kaoru-dono? You almost mentioned someone else. Who is it?"
"Ummm, well....." She was evading and she could see by the look in his eyes that he knew it. Her eyes dropped again.
"Tell me." His thumb brushed lightly over her bottom lip and her mind went completely blank.
"Ahhh.... n-nn-nani?" Confused blue eyes blinked and looked blankly at his face.
He laughed softly and left her lips alone for the moment. "Tell me who else came with you."
Kaoru lowered her eyes and concentrated on a spot somewhere around his adam's apple. "It was Hiko-san." She said blandly to his throat. " Hiko-san came with us." This statement was followed by total silence. After a moment, she snuck a peek at him through her long black lashes and was surprised to find him watching her with a strange intensity, his eyes a deep purple. Finally she timidly met his eyes.
"Why did my Master come with you?" The question was spoken in a flat none emotional
tone.
"Because he wanted to find you." It was a simply spoked statement coupled with a
distracted shrug. "It was he who came to me first trying to find you, then we all came to Kyoto looking for you."
"HE came to you?"
"Yes." when he didn't say anything else, she urged him a little. "Kenshin? Is it alright Hiko-san is here?" He could hear worry in her voice.
Soft lavender eyes dipped to meet hers in a long searching look that took her breath away and sent her heart pounding. "Yes, it is alright he is here. In a way I am glad he is, but do not tell him that or he will be all over me with his baka-deshi crap, and I am really not up to it. That I am not." A self mocking half smile curved his handsome mouth totally captivating Kaoru who could not take her eyes off them. Kenshin noticed where she was looking and he carefully tilted her chin up until her eyes met his again. He could feel her trembling against him, and the arm he already had around her gently pulled her just a little closer.
Her breathing quickened as he closed the space between their bodies capturing her hands between them where they were pressed against his chest. "Kaoru," his voice was a husky whisper as he leaned into her and pressed his forehead against hers. His free hand gently began to stroke the line of her cheek and the curve of her throat and collar bone. "Do you know how beautiful you really are?"
She shivered as his fingers traced delicate pathways beneath her hair and across the sensitive skin of her nape. Pushing with slight pressure against his chest, she managed to free one of her hands which she used to tenderly touch the flesh of his back and shoulders wanting to touch him as well. To her astonishment, he trembled at her light touch, and she heard him catch his breath when she traced her fingers down his spine. "Kenshin?" she pulled away from him and looked into his face. His eyes were closed and there was an odd look of absorption about him. "Shouldn't I touch you?" She bit her lip in indecision afraid she had done something terribly wrong. "Am I not supposed to? I do not know anything about this kind of thing?" She stammered feeling like an idiot. "I mean... I have never... I have not.... oh dammit." She swore and jumped to her feet and
walked away from the futon hugging her arms around herself trying to gain control over her raging emotions.
Kenshin lay on his side in a state of complete shock. Everything had been perfect, and then... All at once Kaoru was asking him the most foolish questions he had ever heard, but before he could get his brain to function and reassure her everything was fine, she had stammered and stuttered herself into embarrassment and pulled away from him. 'I better do something to fix this.' He thought and stiffly got to his feet and quietly approached her.Gently he wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her back against him. Resting his chin on her slim shoulder, he held her stiff body silently until he felt it relax against him. Then slowly and tenderly he buried his face against her neck softly nuzzling his lips against the curve of her throat feeling her tremble in his arms. The tip of his tongue tentatively stroked the soft skin he found there, and she moaned letting her head fall back onto his shoulder as passion and pleasure claimed her at the same time.
"Saiai," his breath was warm on her soft skin. "I enjoy your touch." He whispered into her small ear. "Perhaps more than you can possibly understand. You are my light, Kaoru. You are the heat that melts all my resolve." His arms loosened and he tenderly turned her in his arms so they faced one another then his hands gently cupped her face and he looked deep into her emotion filled eyes. "Listen to me, my koishii. I have been to a place that was so terrible I was almost certain I was not going to live through it, but deep within my heart I swore if I did there was one thing I was going to do. No matter what else I did, I was going to do this one thing... if I was ever given the
chance."
She searched his face trying to read his thoughts but not daring to guess or presume to guess what he was thinking. Despite what Yahiko and Makida-san had said to her, Kenshin's thoughts were still his own. Her hands had raised to grasp his upper arms instinctively holding on to him for support as her knees started to shake.
Kenshin watched the play of emotions across her face. "What are you thinking my little koibito?" He asked in a soft voice as he looked deep inside her dark cobalt eyes. "Do you know what I promised myself I would do, Kaoru?" His voice was deepening to that husky whisper again, and Kaoru's body responded quickly by leaning towards him in a display of desire and need she could not control.
"No." She was starting to tremble all over again. He had called her Kaoru twice now
without any honorifics at all, and she could feel nervous butterflies battling for space inside her stomach.
"I promised myself that I would tell you I loved you, that I did."
Kenshin watched as those beautiful deep blue eyes closed for a moment then opened and looked up at him in astonished wonder. The sheen of unshed tears caught the light of the lamps in the room and glittered like a thousand tiny sapphires as she studied his face . "You do? You really love me?" 'Kami-sama, can it be true? Can he really love me??'
"Yes," he smiled and kissed the tip of her nose then rubbed his against it. "I really do. Can you not tell, saiai? Can you not feel my heart and how it is beating for you? Can you not feel the aching loneliness in my soul? Can you not hear it crying out for you, for your soul?" His mouth was coming closer to hers as he slowly lowered his head and shifted it to one side. "Can you not feel me, my angel?"
"Yes..." Her ragged answer was lost amidst the hunger of his kiss as he closed the short distance between them and captured her parted lips inside of his partially opened mouth. Kaoru moaned softly beneath the pressure, and she opened her mouth farther giving Kenshin deeper access to that delicious wet haven. His arms wrapped around her pulling her softness fully against the hard planes of his body. One hand rose to cradle the back of her head so he could increase the pressure and deepen the contact of his kiss, and the tip of his tongue touched the moist curve of her top lip.
Kaoru became liquid heat in his arms, and the last of her nervous shyness smouldered and finally melted away. Her arms snaked around his waist, and her nails began to press into the skin of his shoulders as she pulled herself up against his body to return the fierceness of his embrace. Little primitive whimpering sounds escaped from her throat as the heat of Kenshin's kiss continued to burn her innocence away piece by piece, and instinctively her jaw slackened beneath the ravening passion of that kiss.
Kenshin felt Kaoru's passionate and willing response to him, and his control over his emotional hunger began to slip. When he felt her chin drop, his tongue grew a mind of it's own and slide between her soft lips and began exploring the moistness of her mouth as well as seeking out and engaging in a passionate dance of desire with hers.
A violent shudder quaked through Kaoru's body as he tasted deeply of her, and suddenly Kenshin had to clasp her more tightly against him as her knees buckled beneath her. He reluctantly released her mouth to look down into her flushed face. He gazed lovingly into huge deep blue passion filled eyes, at beautiful dark red lips swollen and quavering from the pressure of his kisses, and at her usually smooth raven black hair that was now hanging in tumbled disarray where his hands had mused it. She was the most beautiful woman Kenshin had ever seen.
"I do love you, Kaoru. My koishii. With all my heart and soul. I will be yours forever, and I will never leave you again. I promise you that. I will never leave you again." Despite his obvious weakened condition, his arms remained strong enough to scooped her up as if she weighed no more than a feather. Kenshin carried her across the room to the futon where he kneeled down and laid her gently on her back, and then sat down next to her.
Tender cool hands rose to touch his face, and he captured them to dust kisses along each finger and palm. "I love you too, Kenshin-saiai." That tenderly spoken phrase caused him to freeze, and Kenshin found himself unable to move or hardly even able to breath. "Did you hear me, Kenshin? I love you too." He was gripping her hands so tightly she had to set up to pull them free. She cupped his face again and tilted his chin so he would look at her, but his eyes were tightly closed . Kaoru could see the hint of moisture oozing out from beneath his thick eyelashes. "Kenshin?"
Deep amethyst eyes, moist with unshed tears, looked at her from a pale uncertain face, but Kaoru just smiled and gently pressed her lips to his as she pushed strands of his long red hair out of his eyes. "I love you." She whispered again. "I love you, my beautiful ruroni. I love you." His hands reached out and grasped her tightly around the waist while he pressed his forehead against hers.
"Kaoru." His voice cracked with emotion and she felt her heart lurch in her chest. "Beautiful Kaoru," he said again then tilted his head and took her lips into his own. Wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders, she opened her mouth to him and tasted the saltiness of his tears on his lips. Then hands and fingers with a will of their own, wound themselves through the silken length of his glorious red hair stroking and combing it as she returned his ardent kisses with all the love she felt for him. As she did this, a ragged groan rose from deep within his chest and his mouth became a hungry thing against hers, and he lowered her gently to the futon beneath him.
Kaoru's world started to spin out of control as Kenshin's hands started to loosen and remove her clothing, and then he began to explore the soft warm treasures he had uncovered. Her body arched and shivered with pleasure beneath the touch of his hands and his lips. Breathless with a passion she never knew existed, she offered her whole self, body and soul to him. It was a pure offering made without reservation or regret, and Kenshin felt as if he held heaven itself in his arms.
As he smoothly ran his calloused hands intimately over her flesh, Kenshin knew he would never again be able to hold or love another woman. Kaoru was his light, his angel, his very salvation. Life would be incomplete and empty without her by his side. She made him whole again, and he could no longer exist without her.
Kenshin knew Kaoru was a virgin, and he did everything he could to make this first
experience for her as pleasurable and wonderful as he could. He kissed and touched and caressed her body until, when the moment came that he made her his, the pain of her innocence did not make any difference at all. It came and passed hardly being noticed by either of them.
They lay side by side holding one another in the aftermath of their lovemaking simply enjoying the feel of each others skin being pressed together. Kaoru had never known that anything could be so wonderful or amazing as what had just happened between her and Kenshin. It had been like swimming in liquid light, and she was already thinking about the next time he held her that way.
A physical expression of love. What a wondrous thing. Snuggling closer into the curve of his neck and shoulder, she closed her eyes and let a loving smile of contentment cross her full swollen lips.
Kenshin lay on his back holding Kaoru against his side. He was idly stroking the soft flesh of her shoulder and thinking about the future and what he was going to do about her. 'I won't leave her again. That I will not.' He promised himself. 'I do not think I could now even if I tried. But what do I do when Saitoh and I have to leave for the mountains? I cannot take her with me out there. I cannot knowingly put her in that kind of danger, but.... how do I leave her here without her thinking I am leaving her behind again?' Instinctively he pulled her closer to him and pressed a kiss against her forehead. 'I will not regret doing this.' He vowed to his heart. 'These may be the
only moments of happiness we ever have together.' Again he hugged her close. He did not want to think about that right now. Right now Kaoru was here, warm, and loving in his arms and that was all he was going to think about. That was all for now.
So with that particular thought in mind, Kenshin carefully rolled over until Kaoru was underneath him again. No words were spoken between them, he just buried his lips against her throat and slid his hands beneath her hips and lifted her up against him. She gasped his name and dug her nails into his back as his hands and mouth touched her. Her heated response to him brought a satisfied smile to his lips just before they rose to claim hers. This was all he wanted to think about right now. Kaoru in his arms. This was all that mattered.
************
It was early afternoon when Kenshin and Kaoru sat down to eat a light meal of fruit, rice crackers, and tea. Both were wearing loose fitting yukata's that wrapped around their bodies and tied with a cord at the waist. Kaoru's was a pale shade of lightest lavender, while Kenshin's was a plain black bringing his long red hair to blazing life against its darkness. Unfortunately the black material also brought out the fact that he was very pale and ill looking as well. Now that Kaoru was able to take a long hard look at him, she could see what Sargent Makado was talking about. Kenshin really was just a mere shadow of the man he was when he left her in Tokyo a few short months ago, and her smooth brow wrinkled in frightened concern. He really did not look like himself at all. He was much too thin for her peace of mind..
"Kenshin...?" Kaoru bit her lip as she tried to think of the best way to approach him with her concerns without upsetting his pride and dignity as a man.
"Hmmm," he looked up at her from his plate one dark brown eyebrow raised expectantly. "Nani, Kaoru-dono?" Cocking his head to one side as he noticed her trepidation, he reached across the small table to cover her hand with his. "Are you alright? Kioshii?"
Looking up into his concerned violet eyes, she smiled and shook her head laughing softly. "No, but that is Ok. It's just... " she let her free hand reach out to caress his face. "It is just I am worried about you. That is all it is really. I am just so worried about everything that seems to have happened to you since you left." Her fingers gently brushed stray strands of his hair off his forehead. "You are so thin, and you look so tired and run down. I have never seen dark circles like these under your eyes before."
He caught her hand and brought it to his lips where he pressed a soft kiss into its palm. "Are you trying to tell me I look terrible, Kaoru-dono? That I look sick and weak?" He looked at her over her hand and held her gaze steadily. "Is that what you are trying to tell me without actually telling me?"
Her mouth had suddenly turned too dry to form any intelligent sounds, so she had to answer him with a faint nod of her head. How did he know what she had been desperately trying NOT to insinuate to him? Her eyes closed as a feeling of sadness fell over her. 'Why can I not ever do anything the right way?' She asked herself. "I-I am not trying to tell you I think you're weak... please do not think that." The words that escaped her throat were chocked and raspy as she struggled to make her voice work again. "I am just... I..." She hummphed a sigh of futility and tried to pull her hand away from him, but he held it firmly refusing to relinquish it to her.
"How do you know that is what I think?" He asked, his voice was tinged with irritation and just a note of impatience.
Kaoru's head whipped up in stunned shock as she stared into his angry face. Kenshin had never spoken to her in that tone of voice before. In fact, she had never heard him speak to anyone they knew in that manner. "Kenshin... I-I'm s-s..." but he never let her finish.
"How do you know what is in my mind Kaoru? Why do you not ever give me a chance to say any thing to you before you start trying to mollify my supposedly bruised ego?" He sighed in exasperation and pressed his forehead against the back of her hand. "Why can you not trust me?"
"Trust you?!" Incredulity filled her voice. "Of course I trust you. How can you even say that to me? I have trusted you with my life, Yahiko's life, and more other lives that I can count. And you dare set there and have the audacity to say to me that I do not trust you!" She was almost yelling at him by the time she finished, but he remained unmoving from his position.
"Kenshin!" She growled at him. "You better say something."
"Or what, Kaoru? You will hit me.... Go ahead. Get it over with. I can wait until you are done." Kenshin's voice was flat and emotionless.
"You can what?" Confusion replaced her anger. "Kenshin? What do mean you can wait
until I'm done?"
His eyes lifted and looked blandly at her confused face. "Just what I said, koishii. I can wait to finish this conversation until after you have vented your anger out by beating the shit out of me like you usually do. Once you are done, we can discuss this issue rationally." He dropped his head back down to her hand. "So, get on with it. Like I said, I can wait until you are finished. Just hurry, Ok. The sooner you are done, the sooner the headache will go away. That it will."
Kaoru sat completely still unable to move at all. Is that how he really saw things between them? Was that how things REALLY were between them? Her head drooped as she struggled to think about what he had just said. Did she really hit him that much when she got angry with him? Did it really happen so often that he had come to expect it as a common occurrence in his daily life?
"Oh Kami," she whispered. "It does." Suddenly she was seized by the uncontrollable urge to giggle, and the evil little demons of mirth started to tumble over her lips in an unstoppable stream before she could control the impulse. She tried to clamp her mouth closed without success, so she tried covering it with her free hand, but that didn't work either. Holding her breath seemed to be her last resort, but when she could not hold it any longer, the rush of absurd giggles spilled forward in an waterfall of sparking inane hilarity.
Kenshin peeked furtively at her over the back of her hand an amused smile crossing his thin pale face. He could see her trying very hard to keep herself from laughing and losing that battle miserably until at last she burst into a full fledged fit of cascading giggles. A low laugh rumbled from his throat as he rose up to watch the spectacle she was making trying to cover up her spontaneous amusement. He had never seen Kaoru like this before. His chin dropped onto the back of her hand, and he found himself laughing with her.
"Oh dear," she was breathless and her stomach hurt by the time she was able to get control of her giggling fit. "I haven't done anything like that for a really long time." Wiping a few tears from her burning eyes, she noticed the dancing violet ones watching her. "What are you looking at?" She demanded in a voice that was still laced with laughter.
"Nothing." He shrugged with a devilish smile on his handsome face. "Just a pretty girl laughing herself silly for no reason."
Kaoru tried to glare at him, but found the effort completely wasted as more giggles started to bubbled up her delicate throat when she caught the smirk growing on Kenshin's face. "Stop it." She threw her napkin at him. "I'm supposed to be mad at you." Laughing with undisguised merriment, Kenshin easily dodged the floating napkin then yanked Kaoru around the table so that she fell into an undignified pile in the middle of his lap. "Heeeyyy!" She squealed just before he tipped her over one of his thighs and began to tickle her sides. "Oooohhh nnoooo....! Keennnsshinnn...!" Her voice
rose high on a scream of pure hysteria mixed with frenzied squeals of uncontrolled laughter.
Kaoru's arms and legs flailed in the air ineffectually as she pleaded with Kenshin to stop his merciless torture.
"Are you going to yell at me anymore?" He asked as he met her wild blue eyes with his mock stern violet ones.
"No, no. I promise." She acquiesced breathlessly while frantically shaking her head.
"Are you going to let me talk for a change before you go jumping to a bunch of conclusions that are going to do nothing but get ME into trouble?" The smile on his face was almost feral in its wickedness as he leaned closer to her face pressing his nose against hers.
"Yes, yes I will I swear. Just please stop. I cannot stand anymore." Panicky blue eyes beseeched him for mercy as she pleadingly searched his face.
"Hmmm, you seem sincere, but..." Leaning back, he let his fingers slid threateningly along the side of her rib cage while he watched with maliciously amused violet eyes as her eyes grow even huger than they already were. A soft but decidedly wicked laugh escaped him as he leaned down and buried his face in the ebony locks at her neck. "Don't worry, koishii, I am through. That I am." More laughter rose from his chest as a massive sigh of relief escaped her. "But I must tell you something," he whispered mockingly in her ear. "You are so beautiful when you panic." Then he pulled back to gently kiss her quavering lips. "Shall we finish our conversation now, jou-chan?"
The voice turned serious and just a bit stern as he addressed her formally.
"Yes, I guess we better before you do something else terrible to me." Kaoru's sarcasm pulled another deep laugh from the man who held her.
"Alright, but you mind your manners, little jou-chan. Is that clear?"
"Yes Sir, Himura-san." If he was going to call her a young lady, well she would just call him Mister. Violet eyes met blue and they exchanged an amused stubborn look.
"Ka, Kaoru-dono. It seems you know your place." Kenshin watched her face closely for any reaction to his joke, but she just sat staring at him with that innocent look on her face. 'Hmmm,' He thought. 'I better watch myself.'
"Alright, now where were we before you.... well, before things went the way they went?"
She smiled and thought to herself. 'That was diplomatic of you. Chicken.' Out loud she said, "I believe you were accusing me of not trusting you, or something stupid like that. Yes, I believe that is what it was."
"Uh-huh. And you forcefully disagreed as I recall. Is this true?" Himura Kenshin's Court of Diplomacy continued.
"Yes, that is true. Himura-san." She smiled her most condescending without being
completely disrespectful. His pursed lips and amused eyes took note both of the tone, and of the honorific.
"I see, jouchan. Now, do you think it is possible for you behave like a proper adult? Can you set still for longer than two minutes and remain completely quiet?"
"Nani?" She looked at him confused. All thought of being condescending and sarcastic forgotten. "What did you say?"
"I know you're not deaf, Kaoru. I said, can you set quietly and not speak for more than two minutes?" Looking into his dark amethyst eyes, she could see that all joking had been abandoned and he was quite serious.
"Of course I can." Her tone was haughty and irritated in an effort to cover up her previous misstep. "What kind of a question is that?"
"It's a logical one, Kaoru. It is a known fact that whenever I start speaking to you, you always get angry and start yelling and beating on me, and I never get to finish what I want to say. That I do not." He forced her to look at him again. "Is this not true?"
Kaoru squirmed uncomfortably in Kenshin's lap. He was right and she knew it, but she did not want to admit it. Not to him. Kuso!
"Kaoru?" It felt like his eyes were penetrating her skull.
"Yes, it's true." Dammit.
"Ka. Now, I want you to swear to me that you will set right here and not move or speak until I am finished with what I have to say to you. Do you understand." She nodded her head dejectedly. "No matter how long it takes." Her head snapped around to meet his gaze in alarm. "Not one word, Kaoru. Not one. Even if it takes the rest of the day. I want your word. Your word as a swordswoman." Amethyst eyes deepened to a rich purple. "Your word, Kaoru."
Swallowing hard to get past the lump in her throat, she met the forth rightness of his gaze as steady as she could. He wanted her word as a swordswoman. That meant she would be swearing on her honor as a warrior that she would not speak a single word until he had finished saying whatever he had to say. No matter how long it took. Kami... Kaoru felt a hand of profound unease close around her heart. Could she do it? She had never been able to keep her peace in her whole life. 'I have to do this.' She agonized in her mind. 'Kami-sama, please help me. Help me keep my damn mouth shut. Just this once, help me to not say a word until Kenshin is finished... no matter how long it takes.'
"Alright, Kenshin." She lowered her head humbly. "You have my word as a swordswoman. I will not speak one word until you're finished."
"No matter how long it takes, Kaoru?"
She heaved a long sigh trying to calm her thundering heart and settle her jangled nerves. "Yes," she met his eyes levelly. "No matter how long it takes."
"Very well." His voice softened to a warm and comforting tone, and his arms settled her more comfortably in his lap. Then he gently pulled her closer to his chest and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "I will tell you what I meant when I said you did not trust me."
Kaoru closed her eyes and tried to prepare herself for one of the most difficult times of her life. Listening to Kenshin tell her she did not trust him, and not defend herself to him was going to be pure hell. She turned her face into his chest and grabbed a handful of his yukata and waited for him to begin.
" When I said you did not trust me, koishii, what I meant was not with your life or the lives of the ones we love like Yahiko, Sano, and the girls. I meant you do not trust me to love you. You do not trust my patience , tolerance, or understanding of you and the person you are. Of all the people I have met in my life, you are perhaps the only one who sees me as all three of the men I have been and accepts me as each one and all at the same time." Soft lips caressed the top of her head and his arms tightened tenderly. "You have never seen the blood that stains my hands, or the guilt that eats away at my soul. You refuse to accept my opinion of myself, and continue to fervently preach to me
what a good man I am NOW, and that I must stop living my life in the past where I can change nothing." A ragged sigh lifted his chest beneath her cheek, and she could hear the steady thud-thud, thud-thud of his heart as it beat his life's blood through his body.
"You are the most brave, stubborn, willful, and argumentative woman I have ever known in my life. There is a fierceness inside your soul that draws me to you in ways I have not felt with any other woman before. You have captured my heart and captivated my soul, Kaoru, but in many ways you are also the bane of my life." He heard her catch her breath when he said this, and he tightened his embrace around her as she stiffened against him.
"Listen to me, koishii." Kenshin's made his voice as gentle as he could. "Listen and understand. I had lived my life alone not caring for anyone, not worrying about anyone's safety but my own for nearly 11 years. The only people I cared about were strangers, but I was never attached to any of them. No one ever really mattered to me, but when I met you, everything in my world started to change. I found a home, a family, and I found something that was worth caring about. I found you, koishii. I found you, and my life has not been the same since."
Kaoru felt a sob rising up in her throat as emotion raged through her. Her face was already laying on Kenshin's chest, so she just turned it the rest of the way and buried it in the curve of his shoulder as the tears began to fall.
"Are you understanding me? My beautiful koishii? Can you finally see what I was trying to say to you when I said you did not trust me?" His lips brushed against her sensitive temple and let one hand raise up to stroke her silken ebony tresses. "Do you know how much I care for you? Kaoru? Do you know how much of my heart and soul you truly hold in your small strong hands?"
Her head shook almost imperceptibly as she burrowed closer to him. Dipping his head lower, he whispered huskily into her small shell-like ear. "You hold all of them, my aikouka. You are my heart and soul."
"Kenshin..." his name was a choking whisper that was muffled against the flesh of his throat.
"Shhhh," he cradled her close like a precious child. "Don't cry, Kaoru. Not over me loving you so much. I wanted it to make you happy, not make you cry. Please don't cry, Sweetheart. You'll tear my insides to pieces."
"Oh Kenshin, I am not sad. OH NO!!" She shot straight up and her hands clamped over her mouth. Blue eyes wide with horrified guilt stared at his face as she realized she had just broken her promise to him. The words had just tumbled out of her mouth before she knew if he was finished or not. It had just happened. Kuso!
Kenshin stared at her tear wet face in confusion trying to figure out what was the matter with her until he realized what she was thinking. He tossed his head back and let himself laugh. "Oh my wonderful, funny koishii." He pressed his nose against hers. "I was finished, that I was."
"You were??" Her soft trembling hand touched his face with the lightest of touches.
"Yes, that I was." He turned his head so he could softly kiss those hesitant fingers.
"I did not break my word?" Sparkling anxious sapphires searched his face earnestly as she voiced her fears. "Was I honorable? Did I make it?"
"No my saiai. You did not break your word, and yes, you were honorable." Tender lips kissed her damp cheeks as his warm hands cradled her head. "You were magnificent. You were beautiful. You are the most wondrous woman in this world." His lips were dusting kisses over her eyes, her forehead, her nose, her chin. "I love you, my beautiful Kaoru. Please never doubt that because it will always be true." And he pulled her into a deep embrace as his mouth closed over
hers and his arms crushed her to his chest.
'I love you too, my beautiful, beautiful ruroni.' Kaoru's heart whispered these words fervently to the man who held her so close to his heart. 'I will love you always.'
As he released her mouth and buried his face in the creamy flesh of her throat, he heard her whisper in his ear. "Don't let go of me, Kenshin. Please, don't ever let go of me." The implication of what she meant seemed to be the last binding tie around his heart and soul, and a rush of love he had never thought he was capable of feeling spilled out of him and enveloped the incredible woman he held.
"I will not, Kaoru." His voice was raspy and thick with the fierceness of his feelings. "I swear to you I will never let go of you. Masaka." He claimed her lips once more, and the lovers became lost to the world around them as they found a new world of their own inside each others hearts.