Notes:
AU fic
[- Ramblings -] = thoughts
Italic sentences = memories
POV: 1st POV of Schuldig
Yaoi: Pairings: SchuXblah blah blah
Warning: messings with the Weiβ Kreuz characters [though I still maintain their 'distinctive' character]
My suicide, My pain
Chapter 2: Mind problems
The cafeteria was packed, and fortunately I can strengthen my mind barriers so that the people's thoughts will be blocked. I went to the line, smiling past the women giving me looks of admiration, most probably because of my stylish appearance. I have already loosened my hair before I went there, and the red-orange locks flowed on my face naturally, and down on my back. I have already buried the brown eyes in the depth of my mind, trying to relax my brain, and get on with eating before serious business.
Anyway, I picked up a tray and felt a guy watching me. I probed his mind and discovered he was thinking of getting a haircut, and other baloneys that I shouldn't think of right now. His stare was starting to get in my nerves. Growing irritated by the second, I tried as casually as I can to raise my head and look at him innocently, just to look at his face.
God, he really did need a haircut.
I tried not to snicker as I took in the appearance of the guy. He had curly blond hair reaching below his chin and was dead flat on the end. It was unruly, yes, but the color of his hair was glorious, only that his haircut isn't getting closer to a beginner's. In an attempt to be friendly, I threw a smirk at him. And surprisingly, without a bit of surprise crossing his facial expression, the guy smiled.
The people behind me were nagging me to go on because I was staring for too long. I hurried on and got a small meal, paid for it while searching the guy's mind. I really don't know why I'm doing this; I only search information from women who had hot features.
I proceeded to the table near the guy and sat down. Well, actually he was beside me now, grinning.
Fuck the hell who messed with my mind. I actually thought this man was hot.
"Kudou Youji, I'm Schuldig. Nice to meet you," I extended my hand which he took, quite confused.
"Maa.. so you're the famous telepath, neh?" Youji still clasped my hand and jerking my mind off his, I took my hand away, smiling at him. I made sure my smile is neither seductive nor fake. Glancing down, I noticed that he already finished his meal, and also that it was almost the same as mine. Small meal – small appetite.
I nodded as an affirmitive and went back to my meal. But I can't eat beside him, I was too conscious of his presence. My stomach grumbled once again in protest. Nah… I have to eat and let this man out of my sight.
"Kudou," I called him by his last name to not eject some kind of realism towards him that I liked him. "My schedule is awfully hectic that even a chat is not fit in it. I guess I have to see you next time…" I threw him a casual smile, picked up my tray and hurried to my office. My stomach was indeed contracting in hunger, and I needed to relieve it as soon as possible.
It was Manx who I walked into when I reached my office. She was already arranging the folders on my table in one pile. Her curly red hair cascaded down her shoulders and when she turned to me, her sharp eyes gleamed in affection, and amusement.
"Eating in your office? And I thought you were a social butterfly," she teased.
I set the tray on the table, sitting on the chair quickly and grasped the eating utensils starvingly.
Before I can say any reply to Manx, my stomach growled loudly, audible to this woman. My secretary laughed and proceeded to the cafeteria for lunch. I sighed and gobbled the food rapidly.
I don't know why, but before the last spoonful of food was raised to my lips, a memory flashed before my eyes…
A tall man stood, staring blankly before a young man in a suit. The young man smirked sadistically as the man in front of him suddenly went into a convulsion, grasping his head and ripping his hair. Moments later, the man collapsed on the floor, still staring blankly at nowhere…
"Hmm…" I uttered and gulped the last spoonful of food. The anamnesis was quite distant and I couldn't remember what it was or when it was. The clock in front of me told me that it was already fifteen minutes before worktime once again, so it's not the time to brood on such memories because fixing my mind on work is mandatory.
I lifted my feet onto the table and rested back on the chair. Closing my eyes, I breathed slowly and deeply, raising my mental barriers, concentrating on relieving the thoughts hovering my mind. I kept it blank. I felt every muscle and bone relax, the breathing constant, and the blood flowing naturally, from my heart to the veins, the arteries, and finally reaching the brain…
Then I languidly lifted my eyelids; first staring at a certain object and letting it roam around the room.
How it made me feel at ease…
Manx abruptly went into the office to collect whatever that hindered me from work. I composed myself and gave her a mental thank you. It was five minutes before work. I wore my coat to make myself look respective enough, brought the folders and headed to the other side of my office, the 'consultation' or 'session' room.
As usual, I have to enter the room from the glass sliding door, sit on the armchair opposite the couch, set the folders on the side table and wait for my patient.
But today there was already someone in the room.
From my stance, I can glimpse at a mass of longish brown hair and a pair of black jeans plus a pair of slightly new authentic leather boots.
Then it registered in my mind: the brown eyes.
Before I can take another step, the figure looked up with its depthless, glassy brown eyes, and gazed at me. I felt a shiver crawling up my spine from his look. It was in a way, formidable as I stared back at him.
I knocked myself mentally and reminded myself that THIS was my show, the work I attend to. I control it.
"So… you are?" I sat on the couch. There was momentary silence. I started to reach for the files, but suddenly…
[- You know what I want. -] the sentence rang in my mind in a whispery voice. I almost dropped all the folders on the sudden mind message. I turned to look at the boy, or girl, I don't know… Its eyes were fixed on me. Blank, lifeless…
[- Who are you? How do you do what I can do? -] Intense curiosity rather than fear came from me.
Then the figure did something unexpected. Its lips curved upwards that made its eyes light a bit. It smiled. Its features almost resembled a normal human being…
[- Your ego is unnaturally high, Schuldig. -] the figure sat up straight, its pale face highlighted by the fluorescent light. At that time, I knew that this was a boy. A young boy, to be precise. I nearly forgot that he called me by my name for I was too absorbed in his features. I shook my head and replied:
[- And you are weird. How did you know my name? And what is your name? -] I was becoming desperate to know his name. It was irritating to find someone who I cannot fully control.
For a moment, he just stared at me, without blinking an eye. Soon afterward, his lips opened to state in a whispery voice. He folded his hands on his lap before saying, "Naoe Nagi. I need your help."
I tried to enter his mind, but again, it had mental shields. I muttered a curse in frustration.
It was really hard to feel powerless over someone, when, in all the years of your career you had the power to manipulate minds and read it. And now I had to ask, and ask… 'coz I had no chance of entering this fucking boy's brain.
"What do you mean by help -" I was cut off when all of a sudden, the door opened and a tall man with wild blond hair burst in, wearing a smile in his face. However, when he glimpsed at the unknown being in the room, his expression became worry, then confusion.
"Hey, Mr. Schuldig, I thought I was in the first list of your schedule?" Kudou Youji asked, looking from me then to Nagi Naoe.
I gave this boy a baffled expression and picked the first file. When I opened it, the blond's name was printed on the first page. I gasped and started to look up at this Nagi Naoe boy.
Yet when I did, he was gone. Only the imprint of his weight on the couch was left.
God, this was really creeping me out.
Author's note: Okay, there you go. I hope it's not too lame. Maybe on the next chapter I'll concentrate on Schuldig's thoughts. This is to be continued, obviously. ^-^ Thank you for the reviews. Again, reviews are entirely welcome and would really help me. Thanks a lot.