Chapter Five: See Ya
"You look awful there."
"Cheers," Mary said as she let out a shaky laugh and kept her hands gripped onto the top of the car. "That's just what I wanted to hear."
"I'm just watching out for you, the way my big sister used to watch out for me."
Mary let out a slight smile. Memories started to flood through her mind as she felt something pulling her back to the house. She been okay as an older sister, she had tried to help them out while living her own life.
"That's what family's do for each other." Mary explained. "And remember it doesn't change as we get older. It just changes from advice on how to sneak out of the house to advice on what to do if a baby won't stop crying or just having a friendly ear available. I'm always there for you, whatever it is. Just call me, okay."
"I'm calling now then. Mom and dad are really upset in there."
Mary ran her hands over her face and then through her hair. She really did not need this today, but had been expecting it since she'd heard her name being yelled. She held onto the back of her neck with both hands. How was she going to explain this, they would never understand why she had had to say those things. She glanced towards the car and her husband before carefully picking her words and speaking. "I'm not doing too good out here either."
"Well, why don't you try and go inside and patch things up."
"I'm not going to back down here, I meant everything." Mary replied with a slight shrug, how did she say this without hurting her sister's feelings? "You said that you weren't going to try and change my mind. I guess you're just never going to understand and I hope you are never put in the position to have to understand all this."
"Try me."
Mary made her way back to the stairs outside the house and sat down, gesturing for her sister to do the same. She took yet another deep breath as she met her younger sister directly in the eyes. How could she ever start to explain to someone who had never had any real problems in her life and who had always lived up to the expectations that had been set for them?
She glanced back at the house, there were so many different memories that she had in there and not all of them had been bad. When she was younger she had loved being part of a big family. Teasing Matt about his dates, chatting until all hours with Lucy, throwing a basketball around with Simon and watching Ruthie in her football uniform.
Mary slowly collected her thoughts together as she glanced down at the floor. She felt mounting pressure inside her to express everything that she wanted to say right. She needed to sound like an adult and not just a teenager who was sulking; otherwise everything that came out of her mouth was pointless. Pointless and represented her seventeen year old self that had made a couple of mistakes.
"It's nothing against any of you," Mary said with a small sigh. "I still want nothing to change between any of myself and any of you but it's different with mom and dad. It's just they still see me as the girl who threw a couple of rolls of toilet paper around."
"You're not giving them a chance."
Mary ran her hands across her mouth as she shrugged her shoulders slightly. "No, they won't give me a chance and I'm not wasting my energy running after them. They're the parents, not me; I'm their daughter and not the other way round. And it's not up to me to change that. They need to understand that I am an adult, a adult who lives quite successfully away from this family. I'm not that little girl who makes mistakes anymore. I do not want to be seen as a constant failure and more importantly I don't want my child to see me as one. They have my number if anything changes."
"But how does that effect us?"
Mary glanced up helplessly at the sky. She thought that she had just explained all this. "It effects you how you want it to effect you. If you want to call it a day and live in mom and dad's shadow then I guess that's it. But it's not what I want and I hope it's not what you want either. I'll see you around."
Mary slowly got to her feet and made her way towards the car. She took a final look at her childhood home and tried to catch her younger sister's eyes before opening the door. Once again she collapsed into her seat, that was it. She had lost her old family. She felt her eyes welling up with tears again. She may never actually see any of them again.
She felt a small shudder run up her spine as she wiped her eyes. She took a couple of deep breaths and felt a sense of composure filling her as she realized Carlo's hand was resting on her knee. This was her family, herself, Carlos and this little growing life that was inside her.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Mary replied with a small nod. "I love you."
"I love you as well." Carlos told her as he leant across the seat and cupped Mary's face as he started to kiss her.
Mary felt her body loosen as the kiss grew and her tongue slipped into Carlos mouth. She loved this man so much and he kissed so well. She could lose any thought that was being held up inside her by just looking into Carlos' eyes, feeling his touch against her skin or meeting his lips in a kiss.
"Mary!" A voice called breaking apart the kiss. "Mary."
Mary wounded down the window and smiled as she saw her sister looking back at her. "Yeah?"
"Where can I find you tonight?"
"At the airport."
"Okay, I'll see you later then."
"Make sure you do." Mary replied as she rested her hand of Carlos' arm before turning back to look at him with a small smile. "I'm ready to go."
Next Chapter: Mary's reflections on what she said.
"You look awful there."
"Cheers," Mary said as she let out a shaky laugh and kept her hands gripped onto the top of the car. "That's just what I wanted to hear."
"I'm just watching out for you, the way my big sister used to watch out for me."
Mary let out a slight smile. Memories started to flood through her mind as she felt something pulling her back to the house. She been okay as an older sister, she had tried to help them out while living her own life.
"That's what family's do for each other." Mary explained. "And remember it doesn't change as we get older. It just changes from advice on how to sneak out of the house to advice on what to do if a baby won't stop crying or just having a friendly ear available. I'm always there for you, whatever it is. Just call me, okay."
"I'm calling now then. Mom and dad are really upset in there."
Mary ran her hands over her face and then through her hair. She really did not need this today, but had been expecting it since she'd heard her name being yelled. She held onto the back of her neck with both hands. How was she going to explain this, they would never understand why she had had to say those things. She glanced towards the car and her husband before carefully picking her words and speaking. "I'm not doing too good out here either."
"Well, why don't you try and go inside and patch things up."
"I'm not going to back down here, I meant everything." Mary replied with a slight shrug, how did she say this without hurting her sister's feelings? "You said that you weren't going to try and change my mind. I guess you're just never going to understand and I hope you are never put in the position to have to understand all this."
"Try me."
Mary made her way back to the stairs outside the house and sat down, gesturing for her sister to do the same. She took yet another deep breath as she met her younger sister directly in the eyes. How could she ever start to explain to someone who had never had any real problems in her life and who had always lived up to the expectations that had been set for them?
She glanced back at the house, there were so many different memories that she had in there and not all of them had been bad. When she was younger she had loved being part of a big family. Teasing Matt about his dates, chatting until all hours with Lucy, throwing a basketball around with Simon and watching Ruthie in her football uniform.
Mary slowly collected her thoughts together as she glanced down at the floor. She felt mounting pressure inside her to express everything that she wanted to say right. She needed to sound like an adult and not just a teenager who was sulking; otherwise everything that came out of her mouth was pointless. Pointless and represented her seventeen year old self that had made a couple of mistakes.
"It's nothing against any of you," Mary said with a small sigh. "I still want nothing to change between any of myself and any of you but it's different with mom and dad. It's just they still see me as the girl who threw a couple of rolls of toilet paper around."
"You're not giving them a chance."
Mary ran her hands across her mouth as she shrugged her shoulders slightly. "No, they won't give me a chance and I'm not wasting my energy running after them. They're the parents, not me; I'm their daughter and not the other way round. And it's not up to me to change that. They need to understand that I am an adult, a adult who lives quite successfully away from this family. I'm not that little girl who makes mistakes anymore. I do not want to be seen as a constant failure and more importantly I don't want my child to see me as one. They have my number if anything changes."
"But how does that effect us?"
Mary glanced up helplessly at the sky. She thought that she had just explained all this. "It effects you how you want it to effect you. If you want to call it a day and live in mom and dad's shadow then I guess that's it. But it's not what I want and I hope it's not what you want either. I'll see you around."
Mary slowly got to her feet and made her way towards the car. She took a final look at her childhood home and tried to catch her younger sister's eyes before opening the door. Once again she collapsed into her seat, that was it. She had lost her old family. She felt her eyes welling up with tears again. She may never actually see any of them again.
She felt a small shudder run up her spine as she wiped her eyes. She took a couple of deep breaths and felt a sense of composure filling her as she realized Carlo's hand was resting on her knee. This was her family, herself, Carlos and this little growing life that was inside her.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Mary replied with a small nod. "I love you."
"I love you as well." Carlos told her as he leant across the seat and cupped Mary's face as he started to kiss her.
Mary felt her body loosen as the kiss grew and her tongue slipped into Carlos mouth. She loved this man so much and he kissed so well. She could lose any thought that was being held up inside her by just looking into Carlos' eyes, feeling his touch against her skin or meeting his lips in a kiss.
"Mary!" A voice called breaking apart the kiss. "Mary."
Mary wounded down the window and smiled as she saw her sister looking back at her. "Yeah?"
"Where can I find you tonight?"
"At the airport."
"Okay, I'll see you later then."
"Make sure you do." Mary replied as she rested her hand of Carlos' arm before turning back to look at him with a small smile. "I'm ready to go."
Next Chapter: Mary's reflections on what she said.