It's a fact; I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or silly songs. Take a break from your studies to enjoy this silly fic. Go on. Put those books down and relax. Like you really need an excuse to do so.
Study Time is Fun Time
"What is it going to take for you guys to go away?" Lance groaned.
"Why do you want us to do that?" Todd asked as he hung upside down from the ceiling.
"Because I'm trying to study for my GED test!" Lance told him. He was seated at a desk surrounded by books.
"Yeah but we're playing an important game of cards," Pyro told him as he sat next to Pietro and Fred. "Got any threes?"
"We're playing Hearts!" Pietro groaned.
"Really?" Fred scratched his head. "I thought it was Gin Rummy?"
"Well whatever we're playing I need some threes," Pyro said.
"Do you have to do that here?" Lance asked.
"Why are you so testy?" Todd asked.
"BECAUSE IT'S MY ROOM THAT'S WHY!" Lance shouted.
"Calm down mate," Pyro casually took his lighter and lit his cards. "You are way too tense." Then he tossed it into the trashcan. At this Pietro gasped and ran out. He ran in with a fire extinguisher and put the flame out.
"Gee I wonder why?" Lance glared at him.
"Hey maybe we can help you study!" Todd hopped up and down.
"Yeah we can help you find the answers to questions and stuff," Fred nodded.
"Here's a question, where is Wanda when you need her?" Lance grumbled.
"Gone to get groceries," Pyro said. "At least I think she meant groceries. She was kind of muttering when I asked what she was gonna get at the supermarket. I don't think that's where you get chainsaws. And do we really need a dozen?"
"Wonderful," Lance muttered.
"Oh come on this will be fun," Pietro told him as he grabbed a book from a shelf and read it quickly. "Here's an important fact, butterflies taste with their feet."
"Another fact," Fred said. "Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word 'criminal'. The second was William Jefferson Clinton. It's a fact."
"Oh no not this again!" Lance hit his head on his books repeatedly.
"I got one," Todd waved his hand. "On average Americans eat 18 acres of pizza every day."
"I can beat that," Fred waved.
"Did you know that an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain?" Pyro asked. "Or that a crocodile can't stick it's tongue out? Or that elephants are the only creatures that can't jump? And a duck's quack doesn't echo?"
"You watch a lot of Animal Planet don't you?" Pietro asked. "Did you know if Barbie was life sized here measurements would be 39-23-33 and she'd stand seven feet two inches tall?"
"Figures you'd know that one," Todd remarked.
"The cigarette lighter was invented before the match," Pyro proclaimed proudly.
"And there's another shocker," Todd remarked.
Fred thought. "Typewriter is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of a keyboard," He finally said. "And Go is the shortest complete sentence in the English language."
"Okay that's a surprise," Todd raised an eyebrow.
"I've started to work on crossword puzzles to sharpen my mind," Fred said proudly.
"Whoever heard of a sharp sponge?" Lance grumbled under his breath.
"Did you know that on average at least 100 people die each year by choking to death on ball point pens?" Todd asked.
"Yeah and do you know how they ended up choking on them?" Lance growled as he got up. "Because they were stuffed down their throats by the people who annoyed them!" He grabbed a pen. "If you don't get out of this room in five seconds I will demonstrate this technique on each and every one of you!"
"Touchy, touchy…" Pietro sniffed as he got up.
"Fine," Pyro waved as he started to leave with the others. "But if the question of how long a snail can sleep comes up on that test and you don't know, don't come crying to us."
"It's three years actually," Todd said.
"Good job!" Pyro grinned.
"WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE?!" Lance shook the house with his powers.
Then the doorbell rang. "Now who could that be?" Pyro asked.
"I'll get it!" Lance told them as he went to answer the door. "It's Kitty!"
"Oooh," Todd snickered. "Gonna have a little private study session huh Lance?"
"Now I want all of you to be nice to her!" Lance warned. "Especially after that little stunt you pulled at the barbecue last week! I'm amazed she's still speaking to me!"
"So we tricked her into eating a little bit of roadkill," Pyro shrugged. "Like that was gonna kill her."
"If only," Todd remarked.
Lance opened the door and there was Kitty. "Hey Kitty, what's shaking?"
"The house a few seconds ago," Kitty told him. "Is this a bad time?"
"No, no," Lance waved as he showed her in. "Just kidding around with the guys a little."
"Well fun time is over now," Kitty told him in a mocking serious voice. "We have studying to do."
"Yes Teach!" Lance saluted. Kitty giggled.
"Oh brother," Pietro grumbled.
"I wonder if Wanda's back with them chainsaws yet?" Todd muttered under his breath as they went upstairs.
"That's his type?" Pyro shook his head. "Oh that poor, poor sod…" He made a whip noise and motion.
"Bingo," Fred agreed.
"You know," Pietro grinned. "Just because Lance has turned into Mr. No Fun doesn't mean the party here can't start."
Ten minutes later…
"WILL YOU GUYS KNOCK OFF THE MUSIC ALREADY!" Kitty screamed as she stormed into the living room. The rest of the boys were dancing around to music. "PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO STUDY HERE!"
"What do you think we're doing?" Todd asked as he did a handstand. "We are studying for our finals in the College of Par-tay!"
"I am never going to pass my GED's," Lance grumbled as he followed her. "I'd have an easier time studying in the Danger Room!"
"You guys Lance needs to study for his test!" Kitty stomped his foot.
"Hey you can't tell us what to do!" Pietro stuck his tongue out at her. "You're not the boss of us!"
"Yeah we wanna party and you can't stop us!" Pyro laughed. "This is our house after all!"
"Well technically this is Mystique's house guys…" Fred stopped dancing and started to think.
"Hey!" Todd interrupted him. "The point is we're gonna dance if we want to and there ain't nothing you can do about it!"
"Oh really?" Kitty raised an eyebrow. Then she phased her hand through the boom box, shorting it out.
"Okay maybe there is something you can do about it," Todd shrugged.
"Hey I got an idea! Let's play the Name game!" Pyro shouted.
"I got a better idea," Lance told them. "Why don't you play the Banana game and split!"
"But bananas are an important part of the Name game!" Pyro told him.
"They are?" Todd asked.
"Sure, listen," Pyro said. "For example, Todd, Todd bo bodd, banana fanna fo fodd, fee fi mo modd! Todd!"
"Listen Pyro…" Kitty began.
"Pyro!" Todd and Pyro shouted. "Pyro, Pyro bo byro, banana fanna fo fyro, fee fi mo myro! Pyro!"
"This is not funny you guys!" Kitty told them. "Pietro will you…"
"Pietro!" Pietro, Fred, Todd and Pyro shouted out. "Pietro, Pietro bo bietro, banana fanna fo fietro, fee fie mo mietro! Pietro!"
"Okay I am not gonna play this game anymore," Kitty said. "I'm just gonna have a word with Wanda and when she hears how you've behaved…"
"WANDA! Wanda, Wanda bo bonda, banana fanna fo fonda fee fie mo monda! Wanda!"
"WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP?" Lance shouted. "I'M TRYING TO STUDY HERE! SURELY YOU CAN…"
"SHIRLEY!" They all shouted. "Shirley, Shirley bo berly! Banana fanna fo firley! Fee fi mo merly! Shirley!"
"Lance just ignore them," Kitty said.
"LANCE! Lance, Lance bo bance, banana fanna fo fance, fee fi mo mance! Lance!" They sang out.
"Okay forget this!" Lance said.
"We're going upstairs and we are going to ignore these…people!" Kitty glared at them. "Come on!" She grabbed his hand and they went upstairs. "We just won't give them any more names to use!"
"Fine!" Pietro grabbed a book from a shelf. "We can find our own names! Let's start with Aaron!"
"Aaron, Aaron, bo baron, banana fana fo faron, fee fie mo maron! Aaron!" They all sang out.
Ten minutes later…
"Barbara! Barbara, Barbara Bo arbara, banana fana fo farbra, fee, fie mo marbra! Barbara!" The Boys were still singing.
"They're going through a freaking name book!" Lance shouted. "I don't believe this!"
"What I don't believe is that you think the X-Men are too difficult to live with!" Kitty told him.