Getting Better- Loving More


Christine spent much of the next several weeks in bed, both her body and her spirit needed to heal. Erik took a leave from work, and as Madame had promised, hers was prolonged. Christine accepted and embraced that she had not killed the baby, whom they had named Ella. She would pray for her at least six times a day, begging God to take care of her as his own.

Erik sang her to sleep every morning, and sang to her whenever she asked it of him. He fed her in bed, and promised her they would have another baby once the time was right. It killed him to see her this way.

Soon she was on her feet, still undeniably depressed, but healing nonetheless. She would sit at the piano, playing songs he had written and patiently taught to her. She had been working on another one of her songs since before the baby's death, and so she finally finished it, she decided to play it for him, explaining it as an occurrence from before she found out he was not her Angel.

Just past midnight, while I sleep,

A song drifts through my mind

As the moonlight bathes the sea

I hear a lullaby

Such sweetly blending beauty

hear the angels sing!

And I woke

pausing to hear the music of my dreams

Gentle harps whistling flutes

on and on in my dreams

Oo, oo

While the night wind cools my room

I search my memory

and hear a phantom serenade

of haunting melody

Just listen join me as we journey to the dawn

And I woke

Pausing to hear the music of my dreams

gentle harps whistling flutes

On and on in my dreams

I dream of sun-bright ocean skies

and I hear mighty waves whispering

their evening song proud music of the storm

Oo

Oh, music, oo

Only I can hear it

Calling me

Guiding me home

And I will hear the song

On and on in my dreams

Play on and on in my dreams.


Christine sighed and finished playing the ending. She looked to Erik, his eyes moist with pride, he kissed his wife gently.

"That is beautiful darling." He whispered, holding her to him.

"Do you really think so?" She asked, her voice filled with hope.

"No," he felt her try to rip away from him but he made her look into his eyes. "I know so."

She collapsed to him once more, her sobs causing her to shake, he held her, whispering reassurances until she calmed and looked at him intently.

"Erik when can we try again?"

He sighed calmly. "Not yet, you aren't ready."

"Yes I am!" she cried. "I've been ready but you've been sleeping downstairs!"

He shook his head. "No, you aren't. If you were ready you wouldn't be thinking of it. You always do though, when you let go, I'll know you're ready."

"Let go? Let go? How can I let go of my CHILD?" She cried, standing in her fury. "You have no idea what it is like to carry something so precious in your body and then have it ripped from you!" She collapsed in a heap on the floor. "I need to feel her inside of me, again."

He felt moved by her words, and he sat down on the floor next to her. "You're right, I'll never know that feeling, Christine. But I know you need to let go, not completely, I would never ask that of you, you just need to accept that she's gone and need to lead a life as normally as possible."

She sighed, whimpering and falling into his embrace. He held her close and kissed her neck. "I love you so goddamn much. I am not doing this to hurt you, I'm doing this because I love you."

She nuzzled into his chest and whispered. "I love you too, Erik."

"I know, cherie. I know."


He had held her most of the night that way until she shifted in soreness. He then took her up to bed. Unable to sleep, he went downstairs to the piano, playing her song with little difficulty. He smiled, knowing it was about a time he had sung to her outside her window, unseen by her searching eyes.

Christine awoke and lay there, finally turning to look at her husband and becoming both startled and confused when he was not there. She fled down the stairs, now able to hear her song being played. She ran into the lounge, nearly fainting with relief as she saw him, playing.

He looked up at her, his eyes concerned. "Christine, you should be resting!"

She sighed, running to be held in his arms. "I woke up and you were gone, I thought I'd lost you! Just like Ella."

He shook his head. "No matter what happens, you will never EVER lose me, never." He kissed her forehead.

She grasped him as if afraid to let go and he made up his mind. He kissed her, feeling that she was ready enough, he would end her misery.

He carried her up the stairs and laid her down, following her soon.


Tis a bit short, but sad. Hope you like, gimme some ideas.