Falcon and the Blob-Man

"Blob don't get me wrong," Falcon sighed as they left the cafeteria that morning. "I enjoyed the food fight with BA and you were a big help with placing the bets and stuff. But I think you let things get out of hand when you set all those turkeys loose."

"But BA was going to cook them!" Blob said.

"He was supposed to cook them for dinner tonight!" Falcon groaned. "Besides you grew up on a farm! I thought slaughtering livestock didn't bother you?"

"It does when the livestock are prize winners!" Blob told him. "I know talent when I see it. We could make some real money with them!"

"Blob if this is anything like your idea of becoming a sumo wrestler in Japan…" Falcon groaned.

"Hey that's still a possibility," Blob told him. "Sumo wrestlers are very respected over there! They get a lot of girls!"

"They also have to be a certain weight," Falcon said. "You still have to go on a diet to get into the heavyweight division!"

"Maybe not. I'm thinking of starting a mutant division or something. But first I want to work on the turkeys! That's a real gold mine!"

"Blob as much as I love a good money making scheme I don't think renting out turkeys as companions is gonna fly."

"We could start small. Hey we can get your brother Duke to be our first customer! He's lonely right?"

"He's not that lonely!"

"Turkeys make great pets," Blob said.

"Oh yeah that's what Duke needs," Falcon sighed. "A real bird to keep him company."

"Maybe we'll set Duke up with Mimi," Blob mentioned to Falcon as they walked. "She's a dancer."

"Yeah Blob whatever…" Falcon sighed, not realizing they had been overheard by some Joes who misinterpreted the conversation. "We'll do that."

They went into a vacant room. "Okay Blob maybe now it's time we talk about a few things," Falcon told him.

Blob nodded. "I'm glad you brought that up. I think now is a good time that we should talk about your feelings."

Falcon looked at him. "Are you kidding?"

"No you need to confront these issues. Your feelings for Jinx, your jealousy towards Duke, your unresolved issues towards your mother…"

"WHAT UNRESOLVED ISSUES TOWARDS MY MOTHER?" Falcon shouted.

"That's what I'm here to find out," Blob took out a paper and pencil. "So sit back and tell me all about them!"

"I am not going to tell you anything!" Falcon snapped.

"Well then how can I help you with your problems. From what I hear you have a lot of them."

"CRAZY!" Falcon shouted. "HE'S MAKING ME CRAZY!"

"That's why I'm here to help," Blob said.

"You are not helping!" Falcon told him.

"Yes I am," Blob said matter of factly. "Just like this morning when I helped those civilians."

"What civilians?" Falcon asked.

"Well early this morning during our morning run we saw this bus had broken down," Blob explained. "So I decided that while the motor pool was fixing their bus they'd be allowed to tour the Pit. I made an executive decision. Isn't that cool?"

"You allowed a bus load of civilians to take a tour of the Pit?" Falcon shouted. "Are you out of your mind?"

"I thought you were the one who was out of your mind?" Blob scratched his head. At this Falcon screamed. "My you are a bit testy today aren't you?"

"Guys!" Dial Tone ran in. "We have a big problem! It's those civilians!"

"What did they do?" Falcon moaned.

"It's what they didn't do," Dial Tone moaned. "Or more accurately what they haven't done."

"Which is?" Falcon was dreading the answer.

"Put on their clothes."

"WHAT?" Falcon shouted. "BLOB!"

"Well they said they were from a nature resort," Blob scratched his head. He showed him the flyer.

"NATURIST RESORT YOU BOOB!" Falcon shouted. "THIS IS A NUDIST WOMEN'S RESORT! NOW WE HAVE ALL THESE NAKED WOMEN…." Falcon stopped. "Excuse me!" He ran out.

They heard a bloodcurdling scream. "I forgot to mention the fact that the women were all over eighty years old didn't I?" Dial Tone sighed.

"NO! STAY BACK! STAY BACK! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" They heard Falcon scream and the squeal of very excited elderly ladies.

"They're all chasing him aren't they?" Fred asked.

"Yup," Dial Tone winced as he saw the scene.

"This isn't going very well is it?" Blob asked.

"No it is not…" Dial Tone sighed.

"Beach Head's really ticked off now isn't he?" Blob asked.

"Well he would be if he wasn't unconscious," Dial Tone remarked.

So what on earth did Xi do to poor Beach Head? You tell me!