THE CUCKOO'S EGG

by Galen Hardesty

CHAPTER SIX

THE NEXT LIZZIE BORDEN

~*~

Daria and Jane had just settled themselves at their customary lunch table when Jodie and Mack came up. Jodie said, "Ah, there's our little mockingbird!"

"Tweet freaking tweet," Daria deadpanned. "How did the rest of the class go?"

Mack slid onto the bench at the other side of the table. "What rest? O'Neill never recovered. Practically the whole class had left by the time the bell rang."

"But not Jodie, of course," Jane hazarded, "And therefore not Michael?"

Mack rolled his eyes. "How could I pass up a chance to watch and listen to Mr. O'Neill blubber incoherently over the cruel fate of a fictional baby bird?"

Jodie looked indignant as she settled in. "Why should we sneak out of a class just because we can?"

Daria smirked again. "That's why, all right. Got it in one! There's hope for you yet, Jodie."

It was Jodie's turn to roll her eyes. "You can't learn anything if you're not in class."

"Or if you are," rejoined Daria, "but you can take the opportunity to spread misery to other faculty members."

"Speaking of which," Jane put in, "How was your deathmatch with Mad Man Manson?"

"She's clinging to life, but I think I won on points."

"You think?"

"Well, I won't know for sure until after Dr. Drake checks me for brain damage."

"Huh?" said Jodie and Mack together.

Daria pulled out the card and held it up. "Yeah, Bride of Frankenfurter sent me to a neurologist to get my head candled."

"Mm. Inconvenient, to say the least. But I had the impression that you wanted to lock horns with Manson. Is this not going according to plan?" asked Jodie.

Daria chuckled wryly. "My quote, plan, unquote, was basically to give Manson another shot at me in hopes that she'd do something stupid or vindictive enough that I could get her slapped down for it. I won't know whether I succeeded or not at least until I can get a look at her notes from today's session."

"Huh?" said Jodie again. "Doesn't she keep that stuff locked up in her office?"

"Why, yes, Jodie, she does," Daria replied sardonically, "Right hand file cabinet, middle drawer, four folders back from Jane's."

"Hey!" said Jane.

"Five folders back from yours," Daria continued, smiling a tiny smile as she sadistically toyed with her stewed carrots.

"Daria! You'd better not be browsing my psych profile!" Jodie said truculently.

"Hey, what's a girl to do? I've read practically all the interesting stuff in the library," Daria smirked. "She thinks there's a good chance you may become the next Lizzie Borden."

Jodie glared at Daria, one corner of her mouth turning up slightly. "Strange you should mention that," she riposted smoothly, "I was just going to axe you about it."

Jane was amused by this exchange almost as much as by Mack's wide-eyed reaction to it. He looked like he was afraid he'd have to separate the two at any moment. "You think your folks'll actually make you go see this guy?" she interjected.

"Probably." Daria replied. "Dad won't touch this with a ten-foot Slovak. He'll probably think it's something related to female complaints. Mom is an expert worshipper. She'll take the word of anyone with a degree or a certificate over mine any day, no questions asked."

"She never checks to see if they're competent?"

"Not unless the person is on the other side of a lawsuit she's working on," Daria replied resignedly.