Disclaimer: I hold no remorse for using Ranma 1/2 and Sailor Moon without permission however I would like to apologize with all my heart to the inventor of the disclaimer for my repeated obvious theft and frequent mutilation of his idea. I am so sorry.
Parenting Paradox
Part 1
By the Jester_of_Doom and Bob, the mutant lobster (if he ever gets around to helping)
AN: Hey everyone, this is my turkey day gift for you. Before you start reading I thought I would warn you that this was supposed to be a joint work between me and Bob, the mutant lobster but he's being lazy and forgot we were going to do this for a long time. I'm posting it anyway so that if anyone wants to help him get motivated to get off his butt and write they can e-mail him and tell him to get to work. Anyway now that that's over, on with the show.
A familiar pigtailed martial artist groaned slightly and rolled over as something disturbed his sleep. Not bothering to find out what it was he simply wrapped his arms around his pillow and let his mind wander back to his dreams. Man this pillow feels weird, he idly noted. He relaxed for a few more minutes because with Akane barging in and waking him up or his pop throwing him out the window every morning sleep had become more important that pretty much everything else in the morning.
Huh, come to think of it if that's my pillow what's my head on? he creaked an eye and looked down at a certain purple-haired amazon who was currently lying naked in his arms with her own arms lying lightly over his.
*SLAM*
The door to the guest room burst open.
Ranma tried to yank his hands away from their location on Shampoo's bosom but found the amazon to be holding them there. The Amazon opened her eyes and looked up at her desired mate. "Airen sleep well?"
Ranma didn't even bother trying to answer her; he could feel anger peeling off of a certain violent tomboy in waves behind him. He turned his head to look over his shoulder just in time to catch sight of a mallet before it hit him square in the face. He was out cold and flying through the sky before he knew it.
-----
Ranma woke up in mid flight. Whoa, Akane must have been really mad if I've recovered before I even hit the ground. Better get ready to land. he flipped in the air and righted himself. Then realizing he still had a lot of the arc he had been sent on to cover he decided to make the best of it with some aerial practice, the one nice thing about these trips into LEO on the few times he was awake to enjoy them.
Tired of waiting for his flight to land, he had to walk back after all, Ranma decided to take matters into his own hands and fired a Moko Takabisha ahead of him to slow himself down. When he finally got close enough to the buildings he had been flying by he kicked out and sent himself flipping away at an angle that cut his forward momentum. He followed his leap with a series of jumps from one side of the street to the other that put a pinball game to shame. Finally he landed on a roof of some place called the Crown Arcade. Not one for video games Ranma decided to start back to the dojo before Akane got any angrier at him and took off roof-hopping.
-----
"Usagi!" A blonde girl's bag urgently hissed at her. A second later a black cat with a yellow crescent on its forehead popped its head out of the bag and looked at the girl sternly.
"Luna! Can't it wait? I'm busy!" the blonde whined as she continued to play her video game.
"No it can't! I just felt a very strong energy surge from less than a block away. If you don't hurry and transform you may be stuck when this monster attacks!"
Usagi looked down at her angry advisor for a moment. Then she heard the telltale sound of death in her game. "Oh no! My last life!"
"Well now that you're done we better get going!" urged the cat.
Usagi pouted a bit, that hadn't been fair. Still she picked up the bag and hurried out the door of the arcade. After a second of surveying the area she decided on a conveniently placed alley less than a block away. She hurried to it and made sure nobody was near its entrance, it was a dead end so there was only one way people could come to see her. Satisfied she wouldn't be noticed she started her transformation.
-----
Ranma was distracted from his roof-hopping almost as soon as he began. As he reached the edge of a building with an alley beside it he was distracted by a sudden explosion of light below him. He looked down and saw something weird even to his standards, some naked teenage girl was dancing around in the middle of the light while bows appeared and wrapped themselves around her. Then the bows all disappeared, leaving her in a sailor fuku that was about as revealing as when she was naked.
She leapt up to the roof opposite of him and seemed surprised to see him there. They both looked each other over and let their eyes rest on the other's. What's the odds of meeting another blue eyed Japanese person? both thought at the same time.
-----
Over a small Shinto shrine in the Juuban ward a small, intensely pink, and nauseatingly cute portal opened up and deposited two travelers onto the ground. One was a young girl with bright pink hair that was braided in a way so it resembled two bunny ears. The other was a black balloon that looked like a cat.
-----
Over a small doctors office in the Nermia ward a small, swirling black and red portal opened up and deposited two travelers on the ground. One was a young girl with bright red hair that was tied back in a tight pigtail. The other was what looked like a black balloon that was shaped like a piglet.
-----
At the gates of time Sailor Pluto fell off her seat and nearly choked on her tea as the future diverged into two possibilities. Now the future becoming uncertain wasn't enough to normally faze her as much as this had but this had but this had included a small barb she had never even thought possible, both futures had sent people back at the exact same time. It was the ultimate unsolvable paradox, when one of the futures faded one of the time travelers should cease to exist so they could never come back and tamper with time in the first place so whatever they had done would have been reversed. HOW COULD MY FUTURE SELVES DO THIS TO ME!?
As she watched the gates of time her view of what could be clouded over, her future selves were restricting her view of time. They weren't even showing her Crystal Tokyo anymore. DAMN THEM!
-----
Ranma and Usagi both stood looking into the deep blue pools of the others eyes for a long moment before Ranma's attention was broken.
"MEOW." Luna called to get Usagi's attention, it wasn't fitting for the future queen of the earth to be distracted from her duty just because she saw some cute guy, one Makoto was more that enough.
Usagi's attention was drawn to her cat, as was Ranma's. He froze when he saw the lithe killing machine. Nature's perfect destructive force with its claws, teeth, and insatiable blood lust. A shiver passed through him and he found his body could move again so he did the one thing he could rationally think to do, run.
He turned and jumped off the building in a long arc that no human should be able to accomplish. Then he took off over the rooftops at his fastest sprinting speed. A building got in his way but he ran through the wall just to be safe; it could have been right behind him so he didn't have time to go around.
Atop the building Ranma had just evacuated Sailor Moon and her feline friend stared after the young martial artist in disbelief.
-----
The little redheaded girl stood and rubbed her backside; Pluto hadn't warned her about that sudden drop. She looked around at the old buildings below her; at least she knew she was in the past. Now if this was the right time all she had to do was find the Tendo dojo.
She looked around the top of the building. There was a small area sticking up with a door in it, a quick test though proved that the door was locked. It wouldn't be nice to break down the door so she'd have to find another way down. Jumping was an option but she was on the roof of a two story building so it might hurt a bit. She sat and thought it over a few minutes then stood up and snapped her fingers as she got an idea.
"P-chan Magic!" she called out and the balloon that had come out of the portal with her was gone in a puff of smoke and was replaced by an old bamboo umbrella. She grabbed the handle of the umbrella and leapt of the building and floated lightly down to the sidewalk in front of the building. When she was done she let go of the umbrella and it was gone in a puff of smoke, replaced by the P-chan balloon.
She looked down the street in both directions, no people to ask directions around. Someone put their hand on her shoulder and asked "Looking for something?"
She looked over her shoulder to see who had addressed her and found herself face to face with a skeleton. "EEK!" She jumped away in surprise. "Moko Takabisha!" She gathered and released a small ball of blue chi as she jumped away.
A small explosion and cloud of dust obscured view around the skeleton for a moment before settling and revealing a surprised doctor Tofu holding Betty, his skeleton. He wiped away the dust that covered his glasses. "Well that was a new reaction." He stated without much actual surprise. He took a closer look at the young girl, she looked almost exactly like Ranma did in his female form, she even was wearing the same Chinese clothing he always wore; the only real differences were her age, she looked to be about 12, and her face, which held both Ranma's and someone else's features.
"Doctor Tofu?" the young girl asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?" She was surprised that the doctor would have come back in time as well.
"This is my clinic." The doctor said and gestured back over his shoulder at the building. "I saw you out here looking for something and came to see if you needed help."
Oops, almost forgot Dr. Tofu came from this time too. Well at least he'll know where I can find poppa. "Oh, tank you! Could you tell me where the Tendo dojo is? I'm looking for my poppa."
"Of course, the dojo is right down this road. You can't miss it, and even if you do get lost anyone in Nerima can give you directions."
"Thanks Dr. Tofu!" the young girl yelled and took off running down the road. Behind her a balloon like object that looked like a piglet followed.
Tofu found it slightly strange that he'd never heard of Ranma having a sister but, but this was Nerima so he didn't take much note of it. He did decide though that it would be a good idea to call the dojo to let them know a visitor was coming. He walked back inside and dialed the dojo.
-----
this space reserved for some SM stuff when bob quits being lazy
-----
Ranma panted for breath as he, currently she, crawled into the front door of the Tendo's. The run back wasn't all that far but he had sprinted the whole way to avoid confrontations. There was a temporary stop when he entered Nermia but it hadn't lasted long.
@@ Flashback @@
Ranma finally got the nerve to stop and look behind him. The only thing he saw that was trailing behind him was a long line of broken roof tiles and several holes in buildings that had gotten in his way. Whew, I guess I lost it.
He turned back forwards and jumped down to the ground below him. Almost the moment he hit the ground he was glomped by an amazon. "Airen! You back! Want sleep with shampoo more, yes?"
Before he even had the chance to demand the over affectionate amazon release him Mouse charged around the corner. "Saotome you cad! Take your hands off of my Shampoo!" He demanded of a nearby fire hydrant while launching a barrage of chains and spiked weapons on strings instead of waiting for a response.
When Mouse's attack struck home one of the hydrants caps was knocked off, drenching Ranma and shampoo.
@@ end flashback @@
The rest of the way home Ranma had been able to keep up his speed due to pure abject terror; he hadn't managed to make Shampoo let go until three blocks ago.
He sighed a little, things had been much less hectic for about a month after the failed wedding but now it seemed to have gotten worse to make up for it. He had gotten a chance to get away from the dojo and live with his mom for that month, despite all his friends and rivals eagerness to get their hands on them none of them were quite stupid enough to break into Nadoka's house and disrupt dinner, well at least not stupid enough to do it twice.
It was a great vacation from the usual crap he had to put up with, even if Akane came over every day and yelled at him. It's just too bad it had to end, but Akane had complained to her father that she didn't want to walk over there just to be insulted so his pop made him come back and live at the dojo. Now the fighting was getting to the point where he couldn't even get a word in before he was sent flying or attacked by multiple people at once. The only thing that really kept him going was his age old mantra at least it can't get any worse.
*Ring* *Ring*
Ranma groaned as he stood up. The phone was right next to him so he answered it to save Kasumi the trouble. "Hello?"
"Hello, is that you Ranma?" the person on the phone asked.
"Yeah, it's me Dr. Tofu. What can I do for ya?"
"Well your little sister just stopped by on her way to the dojo so I wanted to make sure you knew in case she doesn't get there soon."
"Huh? Sister? I don't have a sister." Ranma disagreed.
"Hmmm. I had thought so but this little girl looks so much like your cursed form and said she was looking for her father at the dojo so I assumed you had to be related." He coughed a bit nervously; he wasn't sure how he should phrase what he was going to say next. "Perhaps you should ask your parents, situations regarding your family do tend to be…unique."
*sigh* that's an understatement. "Alright Dr. Tofu. Thanks for the warning. Bye"
"Goodbye."
Ranma hung up the phone and trudged into the family room, nobody was there. He heard a slight noise coming from the kitchen, it sounded like two people at least Kasumi alone would be too quiet to hear. The lack of flames or toxic fumes probably meant his mom was over helping with the cooking; only Kasumi, Nodoka, and Akane ever cooked here. Out in the back Genma and Soun were playing shogi and drinking iced tea. The sound of breaking bricks from the dojo gave away Akane's location. The only person unaccounted for was Nabiki, who was probably reading manga in her room.
Trusting that his mom would be a more reliable person to ask than his father he made his way to the kitchen. Inside Kasumi and Nodoka were fixing enough food to feed a small army, or both Ranma and Genma. "Um, Mom, do I have a sister?"
Nodoka looked up from stirring a pot. "No Ranma. Why do you ask?"
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief; he didn't want a little girl to have to live through all the crap he lived through. There's no telling how many times Genma would have engaged her to strangers. "Oh, Dr. Tofu just called and said some little girl who looks like me came by asking where the dojo is. Said she's looking for her dad." Ranma said with a shrug, not that it was important now that he knew her dad wasn't here.
"Oh really?" Nodoka said with a dangerous glint in her eye. She stopped stirring and shifted the bundle that she still sometimes carried out of habit. "If you'll excuse me Kasumi I think Ranma and I need to have a little talk with my husband." Kasumi nodded that she didn't mind.
Ranma followed his mother out to the back deck where Genma and Soun were playing, make that cheating at, their game. "Oh, Nodoka, is dinner ready yet dear?" Genma asked when he saw his wife's arrival.
"No dear. I was thinking it was about time we had a talk about your faithfulness on your training trip with Ranma. It seems your daughter is on her way here."
Genma turned white as a sheet at his wife's announcement. In one swift movement he grabbed and overturned the handle to the iced tea and was on his back clasping a beach-ball and a sign stating [I'm just an innocent panda]. Unfortunately for him Nodoka had been equally as fast and had made sure he ONLY grabbed the handle of the pitcher of tea by slicing it off from the rest of the pitcher.
"GENMA!" she growled dangerously as she leveled her blade at her wayward husband.
Genma noted his dryness with alarm. Picking his brain for a way to save himself he used the last ace up his sleeve. "Look the dreaded master!" he pointed over Nodoka's shoulder. Only Ranma and Soun looked. Not having any other ideas Genma took that moment to run like hell. He jumped over one of the walls around the yard hoping to stop his wife from pursuing. He, and everyone else, was stunned when Nodoka actually manifested a flaming battle aura of outrage that dwarfed anything Akane could produce and chased her husband by cutting the wall in her way to pieces.
There was a moment of silence before howls of a panda in pain were heard in the distance. "Well he had that one coming." Nabiki noted.
Ranma jumped in surprise when the Middle Tendo suddenly spoke up from beside him. "Nabiki! What are you doing here!?" He demanded in surprise.
"I live here Saotome. What are you doing here?"
Ranma just grumbled angrily in response.
"I'll tell you what Saotome, tell me what happened here and I'll cancel 2,000 yen of what you owe me."
Ranma shrugged, she'd find out in a few minutes anyway. "Looks like my dirty old man had another kid while we were on our training trip. Dr. Tofu just called and she'll be over here in a few minutes." hopefully nobody'll mistake her for a fiancée or me or anything if Nabiki sells them the real info. I hope she doesn't look too much like me or Kuno and his sister are gonna be a problem.
Ranma looked over at a movement he had seen from the corner of his eye, Akane had come out of the Dojo with dust from bricks still clinging to her hands. The continuing cries of a panda being skinned were loud enough to have gotten her attention.
-----
The young red-haired girl arrived at the Tendo Dojo and rang the bell. She shivered a bit; the bell was drowned out by what sounded like an animal being tortured. She waited a moment for someone to answer the door but no response came and the cries of the animal continued to fill the area. Getting tired of waiting outside alone while that scary noise was echoing through the area she opened the door and went inside, this was where her poppa was so more than likely nobody would mind.
Seeing nobody around she walked down the front hall to the family room. Out on the deck she saw several familiar faces, including the person she had come to see. "Poppa!"
-----
"Poppa!" someone yelled behind Ranma. The pigtailed boy barely had time to turn around before he was tackled to the ground by a young redhead. "Poppa!" she cried again as she hugged him and rested her head on his chest.
Nabiki looked at the scene in front of her quizzically. "You've got some explaining to do Sao…"
Ranma didn't get to hear the rest as a tomboy-propelled hammer sent him off to dreamland.
----
AN: First off read the top AN if you didn't then come on back down to this one. Then go yell at Bob, the mutant lobster if you wanna see more of this, or just for fun, his e-mail is ranikkoku@hotmail.com or if you have any C&C feel free to mail me at Jester_of_Doom@hotmail.com I love responses and in want more of them darn it.
Also sorry for going and making another story, couldn't help it, what can I say…other than the fact that this one probably wont get far either for the time being. Seriously though I'm trying to work on Chaotic Evil and I'm sure I'll get around to Ranmay again after I have time to rewatch HMM but at the moment that aint an option cuz my RL is currently busy, mostly with school crap.
Parenting Paradox
Part 1
By the Jester_of_Doom and Bob, the mutant lobster (if he ever gets around to helping)
AN: Hey everyone, this is my turkey day gift for you. Before you start reading I thought I would warn you that this was supposed to be a joint work between me and Bob, the mutant lobster but he's being lazy and forgot we were going to do this for a long time. I'm posting it anyway so that if anyone wants to help him get motivated to get off his butt and write they can e-mail him and tell him to get to work. Anyway now that that's over, on with the show.
A familiar pigtailed martial artist groaned slightly and rolled over as something disturbed his sleep. Not bothering to find out what it was he simply wrapped his arms around his pillow and let his mind wander back to his dreams. Man this pillow feels weird, he idly noted. He relaxed for a few more minutes because with Akane barging in and waking him up or his pop throwing him out the window every morning sleep had become more important that pretty much everything else in the morning.
Huh, come to think of it if that's my pillow what's my head on? he creaked an eye and looked down at a certain purple-haired amazon who was currently lying naked in his arms with her own arms lying lightly over his.
*SLAM*
The door to the guest room burst open.
Ranma tried to yank his hands away from their location on Shampoo's bosom but found the amazon to be holding them there. The Amazon opened her eyes and looked up at her desired mate. "Airen sleep well?"
Ranma didn't even bother trying to answer her; he could feel anger peeling off of a certain violent tomboy in waves behind him. He turned his head to look over his shoulder just in time to catch sight of a mallet before it hit him square in the face. He was out cold and flying through the sky before he knew it.
-----
Ranma woke up in mid flight. Whoa, Akane must have been really mad if I've recovered before I even hit the ground. Better get ready to land. he flipped in the air and righted himself. Then realizing he still had a lot of the arc he had been sent on to cover he decided to make the best of it with some aerial practice, the one nice thing about these trips into LEO on the few times he was awake to enjoy them.
Tired of waiting for his flight to land, he had to walk back after all, Ranma decided to take matters into his own hands and fired a Moko Takabisha ahead of him to slow himself down. When he finally got close enough to the buildings he had been flying by he kicked out and sent himself flipping away at an angle that cut his forward momentum. He followed his leap with a series of jumps from one side of the street to the other that put a pinball game to shame. Finally he landed on a roof of some place called the Crown Arcade. Not one for video games Ranma decided to start back to the dojo before Akane got any angrier at him and took off roof-hopping.
-----
"Usagi!" A blonde girl's bag urgently hissed at her. A second later a black cat with a yellow crescent on its forehead popped its head out of the bag and looked at the girl sternly.
"Luna! Can't it wait? I'm busy!" the blonde whined as she continued to play her video game.
"No it can't! I just felt a very strong energy surge from less than a block away. If you don't hurry and transform you may be stuck when this monster attacks!"
Usagi looked down at her angry advisor for a moment. Then she heard the telltale sound of death in her game. "Oh no! My last life!"
"Well now that you're done we better get going!" urged the cat.
Usagi pouted a bit, that hadn't been fair. Still she picked up the bag and hurried out the door of the arcade. After a second of surveying the area she decided on a conveniently placed alley less than a block away. She hurried to it and made sure nobody was near its entrance, it was a dead end so there was only one way people could come to see her. Satisfied she wouldn't be noticed she started her transformation.
-----
Ranma was distracted from his roof-hopping almost as soon as he began. As he reached the edge of a building with an alley beside it he was distracted by a sudden explosion of light below him. He looked down and saw something weird even to his standards, some naked teenage girl was dancing around in the middle of the light while bows appeared and wrapped themselves around her. Then the bows all disappeared, leaving her in a sailor fuku that was about as revealing as when she was naked.
She leapt up to the roof opposite of him and seemed surprised to see him there. They both looked each other over and let their eyes rest on the other's. What's the odds of meeting another blue eyed Japanese person? both thought at the same time.
-----
Over a small Shinto shrine in the Juuban ward a small, intensely pink, and nauseatingly cute portal opened up and deposited two travelers onto the ground. One was a young girl with bright pink hair that was braided in a way so it resembled two bunny ears. The other was a black balloon that looked like a cat.
-----
Over a small doctors office in the Nermia ward a small, swirling black and red portal opened up and deposited two travelers on the ground. One was a young girl with bright red hair that was tied back in a tight pigtail. The other was what looked like a black balloon that was shaped like a piglet.
-----
At the gates of time Sailor Pluto fell off her seat and nearly choked on her tea as the future diverged into two possibilities. Now the future becoming uncertain wasn't enough to normally faze her as much as this had but this had but this had included a small barb she had never even thought possible, both futures had sent people back at the exact same time. It was the ultimate unsolvable paradox, when one of the futures faded one of the time travelers should cease to exist so they could never come back and tamper with time in the first place so whatever they had done would have been reversed. HOW COULD MY FUTURE SELVES DO THIS TO ME!?
As she watched the gates of time her view of what could be clouded over, her future selves were restricting her view of time. They weren't even showing her Crystal Tokyo anymore. DAMN THEM!
-----
Ranma and Usagi both stood looking into the deep blue pools of the others eyes for a long moment before Ranma's attention was broken.
"MEOW." Luna called to get Usagi's attention, it wasn't fitting for the future queen of the earth to be distracted from her duty just because she saw some cute guy, one Makoto was more that enough.
Usagi's attention was drawn to her cat, as was Ranma's. He froze when he saw the lithe killing machine. Nature's perfect destructive force with its claws, teeth, and insatiable blood lust. A shiver passed through him and he found his body could move again so he did the one thing he could rationally think to do, run.
He turned and jumped off the building in a long arc that no human should be able to accomplish. Then he took off over the rooftops at his fastest sprinting speed. A building got in his way but he ran through the wall just to be safe; it could have been right behind him so he didn't have time to go around.
Atop the building Ranma had just evacuated Sailor Moon and her feline friend stared after the young martial artist in disbelief.
-----
The little redheaded girl stood and rubbed her backside; Pluto hadn't warned her about that sudden drop. She looked around at the old buildings below her; at least she knew she was in the past. Now if this was the right time all she had to do was find the Tendo dojo.
She looked around the top of the building. There was a small area sticking up with a door in it, a quick test though proved that the door was locked. It wouldn't be nice to break down the door so she'd have to find another way down. Jumping was an option but she was on the roof of a two story building so it might hurt a bit. She sat and thought it over a few minutes then stood up and snapped her fingers as she got an idea.
"P-chan Magic!" she called out and the balloon that had come out of the portal with her was gone in a puff of smoke and was replaced by an old bamboo umbrella. She grabbed the handle of the umbrella and leapt of the building and floated lightly down to the sidewalk in front of the building. When she was done she let go of the umbrella and it was gone in a puff of smoke, replaced by the P-chan balloon.
She looked down the street in both directions, no people to ask directions around. Someone put their hand on her shoulder and asked "Looking for something?"
She looked over her shoulder to see who had addressed her and found herself face to face with a skeleton. "EEK!" She jumped away in surprise. "Moko Takabisha!" She gathered and released a small ball of blue chi as she jumped away.
A small explosion and cloud of dust obscured view around the skeleton for a moment before settling and revealing a surprised doctor Tofu holding Betty, his skeleton. He wiped away the dust that covered his glasses. "Well that was a new reaction." He stated without much actual surprise. He took a closer look at the young girl, she looked almost exactly like Ranma did in his female form, she even was wearing the same Chinese clothing he always wore; the only real differences were her age, she looked to be about 12, and her face, which held both Ranma's and someone else's features.
"Doctor Tofu?" the young girl asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?" She was surprised that the doctor would have come back in time as well.
"This is my clinic." The doctor said and gestured back over his shoulder at the building. "I saw you out here looking for something and came to see if you needed help."
Oops, almost forgot Dr. Tofu came from this time too. Well at least he'll know where I can find poppa. "Oh, tank you! Could you tell me where the Tendo dojo is? I'm looking for my poppa."
"Of course, the dojo is right down this road. You can't miss it, and even if you do get lost anyone in Nerima can give you directions."
"Thanks Dr. Tofu!" the young girl yelled and took off running down the road. Behind her a balloon like object that looked like a piglet followed.
Tofu found it slightly strange that he'd never heard of Ranma having a sister but, but this was Nerima so he didn't take much note of it. He did decide though that it would be a good idea to call the dojo to let them know a visitor was coming. He walked back inside and dialed the dojo.
-----
this space reserved for some SM stuff when bob quits being lazy
-----
Ranma panted for breath as he, currently she, crawled into the front door of the Tendo's. The run back wasn't all that far but he had sprinted the whole way to avoid confrontations. There was a temporary stop when he entered Nermia but it hadn't lasted long.
@@ Flashback @@
Ranma finally got the nerve to stop and look behind him. The only thing he saw that was trailing behind him was a long line of broken roof tiles and several holes in buildings that had gotten in his way. Whew, I guess I lost it.
He turned back forwards and jumped down to the ground below him. Almost the moment he hit the ground he was glomped by an amazon. "Airen! You back! Want sleep with shampoo more, yes?"
Before he even had the chance to demand the over affectionate amazon release him Mouse charged around the corner. "Saotome you cad! Take your hands off of my Shampoo!" He demanded of a nearby fire hydrant while launching a barrage of chains and spiked weapons on strings instead of waiting for a response.
When Mouse's attack struck home one of the hydrants caps was knocked off, drenching Ranma and shampoo.
@@ end flashback @@
The rest of the way home Ranma had been able to keep up his speed due to pure abject terror; he hadn't managed to make Shampoo let go until three blocks ago.
He sighed a little, things had been much less hectic for about a month after the failed wedding but now it seemed to have gotten worse to make up for it. He had gotten a chance to get away from the dojo and live with his mom for that month, despite all his friends and rivals eagerness to get their hands on them none of them were quite stupid enough to break into Nadoka's house and disrupt dinner, well at least not stupid enough to do it twice.
It was a great vacation from the usual crap he had to put up with, even if Akane came over every day and yelled at him. It's just too bad it had to end, but Akane had complained to her father that she didn't want to walk over there just to be insulted so his pop made him come back and live at the dojo. Now the fighting was getting to the point where he couldn't even get a word in before he was sent flying or attacked by multiple people at once. The only thing that really kept him going was his age old mantra at least it can't get any worse.
*Ring* *Ring*
Ranma groaned as he stood up. The phone was right next to him so he answered it to save Kasumi the trouble. "Hello?"
"Hello, is that you Ranma?" the person on the phone asked.
"Yeah, it's me Dr. Tofu. What can I do for ya?"
"Well your little sister just stopped by on her way to the dojo so I wanted to make sure you knew in case she doesn't get there soon."
"Huh? Sister? I don't have a sister." Ranma disagreed.
"Hmmm. I had thought so but this little girl looks so much like your cursed form and said she was looking for her father at the dojo so I assumed you had to be related." He coughed a bit nervously; he wasn't sure how he should phrase what he was going to say next. "Perhaps you should ask your parents, situations regarding your family do tend to be…unique."
*sigh* that's an understatement. "Alright Dr. Tofu. Thanks for the warning. Bye"
"Goodbye."
Ranma hung up the phone and trudged into the family room, nobody was there. He heard a slight noise coming from the kitchen, it sounded like two people at least Kasumi alone would be too quiet to hear. The lack of flames or toxic fumes probably meant his mom was over helping with the cooking; only Kasumi, Nodoka, and Akane ever cooked here. Out in the back Genma and Soun were playing shogi and drinking iced tea. The sound of breaking bricks from the dojo gave away Akane's location. The only person unaccounted for was Nabiki, who was probably reading manga in her room.
Trusting that his mom would be a more reliable person to ask than his father he made his way to the kitchen. Inside Kasumi and Nodoka were fixing enough food to feed a small army, or both Ranma and Genma. "Um, Mom, do I have a sister?"
Nodoka looked up from stirring a pot. "No Ranma. Why do you ask?"
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief; he didn't want a little girl to have to live through all the crap he lived through. There's no telling how many times Genma would have engaged her to strangers. "Oh, Dr. Tofu just called and said some little girl who looks like me came by asking where the dojo is. Said she's looking for her dad." Ranma said with a shrug, not that it was important now that he knew her dad wasn't here.
"Oh really?" Nodoka said with a dangerous glint in her eye. She stopped stirring and shifted the bundle that she still sometimes carried out of habit. "If you'll excuse me Kasumi I think Ranma and I need to have a little talk with my husband." Kasumi nodded that she didn't mind.
Ranma followed his mother out to the back deck where Genma and Soun were playing, make that cheating at, their game. "Oh, Nodoka, is dinner ready yet dear?" Genma asked when he saw his wife's arrival.
"No dear. I was thinking it was about time we had a talk about your faithfulness on your training trip with Ranma. It seems your daughter is on her way here."
Genma turned white as a sheet at his wife's announcement. In one swift movement he grabbed and overturned the handle to the iced tea and was on his back clasping a beach-ball and a sign stating [I'm just an innocent panda]. Unfortunately for him Nodoka had been equally as fast and had made sure he ONLY grabbed the handle of the pitcher of tea by slicing it off from the rest of the pitcher.
"GENMA!" she growled dangerously as she leveled her blade at her wayward husband.
Genma noted his dryness with alarm. Picking his brain for a way to save himself he used the last ace up his sleeve. "Look the dreaded master!" he pointed over Nodoka's shoulder. Only Ranma and Soun looked. Not having any other ideas Genma took that moment to run like hell. He jumped over one of the walls around the yard hoping to stop his wife from pursuing. He, and everyone else, was stunned when Nodoka actually manifested a flaming battle aura of outrage that dwarfed anything Akane could produce and chased her husband by cutting the wall in her way to pieces.
There was a moment of silence before howls of a panda in pain were heard in the distance. "Well he had that one coming." Nabiki noted.
Ranma jumped in surprise when the Middle Tendo suddenly spoke up from beside him. "Nabiki! What are you doing here!?" He demanded in surprise.
"I live here Saotome. What are you doing here?"
Ranma just grumbled angrily in response.
"I'll tell you what Saotome, tell me what happened here and I'll cancel 2,000 yen of what you owe me."
Ranma shrugged, she'd find out in a few minutes anyway. "Looks like my dirty old man had another kid while we were on our training trip. Dr. Tofu just called and she'll be over here in a few minutes." hopefully nobody'll mistake her for a fiancée or me or anything if Nabiki sells them the real info. I hope she doesn't look too much like me or Kuno and his sister are gonna be a problem.
Ranma looked over at a movement he had seen from the corner of his eye, Akane had come out of the Dojo with dust from bricks still clinging to her hands. The continuing cries of a panda being skinned were loud enough to have gotten her attention.
-----
The young red-haired girl arrived at the Tendo Dojo and rang the bell. She shivered a bit; the bell was drowned out by what sounded like an animal being tortured. She waited a moment for someone to answer the door but no response came and the cries of the animal continued to fill the area. Getting tired of waiting outside alone while that scary noise was echoing through the area she opened the door and went inside, this was where her poppa was so more than likely nobody would mind.
Seeing nobody around she walked down the front hall to the family room. Out on the deck she saw several familiar faces, including the person she had come to see. "Poppa!"
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"Poppa!" someone yelled behind Ranma. The pigtailed boy barely had time to turn around before he was tackled to the ground by a young redhead. "Poppa!" she cried again as she hugged him and rested her head on his chest.
Nabiki looked at the scene in front of her quizzically. "You've got some explaining to do Sao…"
Ranma didn't get to hear the rest as a tomboy-propelled hammer sent him off to dreamland.
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AN: First off read the top AN if you didn't then come on back down to this one. Then go yell at Bob, the mutant lobster if you wanna see more of this, or just for fun, his e-mail is ranikkoku@hotmail.com or if you have any C&C feel free to mail me at Jester_of_Doom@hotmail.com I love responses and in want more of them darn it.
Also sorry for going and making another story, couldn't help it, what can I say…other than the fact that this one probably wont get far either for the time being. Seriously though I'm trying to work on Chaotic Evil and I'm sure I'll get around to Ranmay again after I have time to rewatch HMM but at the moment that aint an option cuz my RL is currently busy, mostly with school crap.