Disclaimer: I own nothing, all characters etc belong to JKR!!!
AN: Alright then…um I know this took a while, but I can write quicker now because I'm starting the school holidays! I'm so happy right now!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! AND thanks to my BETA reader: Mistress De Draco! WOHOOOOO!!!
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Chapter 12 – Pain and Suffering
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How could I do this to him…? He said he loved me, and not just once. He can't be lying… She thought.
Hey! If he truly loved you, then why was he making out with Blaise? You can't deny what you saw! Another voice piped up. It's fair! He got what he deserved!!!
"No!!!! That's not true…" Hermione thought out loud, "He didn't deserve that…"
Turning around she saw that Harry was still there. Sitting next to him, she sobbed onto his chest as he stroked her head comfortingly.
"Shhhh, Hermione it'll be okay…" He whispered. Truthfully he still didn't know what had gotten her so upset. All he did know was his friend needed his comfort, and he was more than willing to give it.
They sat there in silence… the only noise that echoed through the hallways were Hermione's soft sobs, muffled against Harry's chest. Despite it nearly being lunch time, corridors were deserted. No one ever bothered to meander down these halls, thus leaving Hermione to grieve in peace.
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As Draco walked away from the "couple," a few more tears streamed down his cheeks. He felt horrible…he felt like his world had just fallen around him, and he was helpless to prevent it…he felt pathetic. He ran through the corridors not knowing where he was heading. The only thought coursing through his head was that he had to get away. He had to leave what he just witnessed behind him, before it ate him alive. Draco had to force himself to breath as he tried to shut out the pain.
He was more than a bit surprise when he reached Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, but he gave his location no more thought as he ran towards the sinks, turned the taps on and poured the water over his face. The icy water was just the shock he needed, forcing him to face the cold reality of his situation.
Moaning Myrtle was in the last cubicle when she heard her bathroom door being opened rather hastily. After Hermione and Harry's second year, no one bothered to enter her bathroom, but now someone dared invade her space and she was determined to discover who. Floating through the stall door, she peeked at the person who stood at the sink, busily washing his face. The first thing she noticed was blond hair that seemed to shimmer. Slowly, she floated towards the figure, who stood with his back to her, unknowing that she was greedily watching him.
"Are you okay?" She asked in her eerie voice.
Draco stood up in surprise. He hadn't realized that Myrtle was in there. Turning around to face her, he was shocked yet again when he discovered Myrtle's ghostly figure only centimetres from his face.
"Fucking hell Myrtle! Don't do that! What the hell is your problem?!" He yelled at her.
Myrtle began to float towards the toilets wailing. She was crying again, but that came as no surprise to anyone who had heard mention of the mournful ghost. A loud splash let Draco know that she had plunged right into one of the toilets.
"All I wanted to do was help…" She moaned from the pipes in a rather empty voice.
"There is nothing you can do for me! Just leave me alone?!" Draco yelled to the empty room as he began to pace around in frustrated anger.
What was she doing with that fucking 'Wonder boy?!' Draco thought to himself, She has no right to do that!!! She's supposed to be with me!!!
Draco knew that he loved her…just as he knew that she belonged with him. He needed her. Without her he was nothing, worthless, just a walking husk of a man. No one besides her ever cared about him, and now she was lost to him. His own father loathed him. Lucius would be happier if he was dead, and if it weren't for the Dark Lord, he probably would be. Draco's own mother didn't care about him. She had too many things to worry about. With every breath she took, she was being killed by her so-called husband.
At one point the only person who he did believe cared about him was Pansy. But he soon realized she was only after his fortune. And for a moment in time he had convinced himself that he had Hermione, but it was obvious by her earlier actions that he had only been fooling himself. He felt empty now, like a ghost. He couldn't think of one person who actually cared about him. Draco slid down a wall until he was sitting on the hard, cold floor with his head tilted back, thoroughly disgusted with himself.
"Ohhh…why are you crying?" Myrtle asked him while she was floating about a couple of meters above Draco. He looked up, but said nothing. Instead he got up, and walked to the sinks to look at his reflection. What he saw only disgusted him further.
Screaming in a sudden outburst of rage, he smashed the mirror with his bare fist, shattering it. Bits of glass imbedded themselves in his skin. Blood spilled onto the sink. Draco was once again in pain. However, this wasn't as agonizing as the feeling he felt just moments ago. Instead, it was almost a pleasant sensation. While his hand throbbed in pain, his heart was silenced. He calmly began to run his bleeding hand under the tap. It stung like hell, but Draco couldn't care less.
As if in a trance, Draco reached out to grasp a sharp shard of glass lying on the floor by his feet. He watched as his hand dragged the glass across the pale skin of his arm, a thin trail of red left in its wake. The blood slowly trickled its way down his left arm and onto the floor. Sitting down on the cold floor, his hand continued in its mutilation of his skin. Once he was done with his left arm he moved on to his right. All of a sudden he stopped. For some reason he had the feeling that someone was watching him again, but right now he couldn't care less. He was intent on ending his life right there. He needed to let go of the pain, and this was the only way he knew how. He kept going, the glass tearing into his flesh until he felt rather drowsy. He leaned on the wall for support as his vision became fuzzy. He couldn't feel his legs anymore and finally his eyes drifted shut. The shard of glass escaped his grip, leaving red marks on the palm of his hand where it had cut through the delicate skin.
Myrtle continued floating above him, watching it all. She was surprised that such a handsome 16 year old boy was trying to kill himself. Not only that, but in a very painful manner. She was rather delighted at this because then he might decide to share her toilet, and finally she would have someone to talk to. So she stayed there waiting for him to finally die, to welcome him to her home…
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Hermione was feeling slightly better that Harry was there for her. His comfort had meant the world to her. At that time, she desperately had needed someone, and like a true friend, Harry was there. She was now walking towards her room, knowing that she needed to fix her appearance before heading to the Great Hall for luch.
Desperately wanting to see Draco again, she used the pendant Draco had given her earlier that morning. She knew they both had to explain things and was hoping that they could talk either after lunch or when they're suppose to meet Dumbledore after dinner. But in the meantime, just seeing his face was all she needed.
She said his name to the mirror, and watched as it slowly cleared. However, the provided image did nothing to comfort her. Instead, a cold sense of fear coursed through her. The picture the mirror presented was dreadfully gruesome. It took a while before Hermione finally understood what she was seeing, but when she did she had to stifle a scream. She watched as Draco smashed the mirror. She saw the bloodied hand covered in shards of glass. And then she watched in horror as she saw him cutting himself. Floating above him, she also saw Myrtle, who merely watched the dying boy loose consciousness. All the while, blood still freely flowing from the self inflicted wounds.
Hermione began running towards Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. People were now walking around the corridors towards the great hall, but she was oblivious to them. She was so scared, afraid that it was too late for her to do anything to save him.
Oh no, he can't die…he just can't! She thought to herself, He won't die. He's stronger than that! He'll survive this! He has to! Hermione kept telling herself as she kept running, through one corridor then another.
Hermione finally reached Myrtle's bathroom, but she couldn't bring herself to open the door. She was too afraid of what she might see. This was the second time she had to save him like this, and she was scared that he might be dead…
Hermione slowly turned the door handle, standing in the door frame for a few seconds. Too afraid to look at the scene that lay on the bathroom floor, Hermione looked up at the ghostly shape of Myrtle, who was obviously angry that someone was there to "rescue" Draco. Glaring at the intruding witch, the distraught ghost dove straight into another toilet.
"Oh My God Draco… please, not again, " Hermione pleaded, as she walked up to the injured Draco and kneeled next to him. She wasn't sure what she could do for him. She didn't have her wand with her, and he was slowly bleeding to death. If she didn't do something, he was going to die. She was crying again, for what must've been the fifth time that day.
"Draco why do you keep doing this to me…?" She asked whilst stroking a lose strand of his hair back. Draco was bleeding helplessly. Hermione was so confused. She sat there for a moment, and just stared at his lifeless figure.
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Meanwhile in the Great Hall everyone was unaware that two of the Hogwarts students weren't present. Everyone except for Blaise, Pansy, Harry and Ron.
Ron was trying desperately to get a word out of Harry, but Harry swore in the name of Merlin that he wouldn't tell anyone of what had occurred during the day. They were both dying to tell each other their stories, but both had promised Hermione they wouldn't. They were both quite worried about her though, especially Ron, who was extremely troubled about the "Dark Mark".
Meanwhile Pansy and Blaise were discussing their recent plan to frame Draco. Yet at the same time, they were worried as to where he might have gone. It was highly unlike him to skip meals.
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Hermione was baffled that Draco would go to such extreme measures to get himself heard. She didn't know his family problems, or the fact that no one seemed to love him. In her naiveté she thought that all Draco wanted was attention from her, just like before.
Hermione was trying to stop the bleeding by using a wet cloth to cover his wounds. He shifted slightly as she applied pressure to the wounds. She knew that he needed to see Madam Pomfrey, but she couldn't leave him there while she went to get her. She desperately needed someone to find them, but no one ever bothered to enter Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. She was stranded as Draco's life slowly ebbed away.
"Shhhh…Draco…Shhhh, " She said comfortingly while stroking his handsome face. She held his hand between hers as she tried to wake him up. But it was to no avail.
Hermione let go of his hand and rested her head onto his chest as if wanting comfort herself. She placed both his arms around her waist, leaving traces of blood along her top, and just stayed there, waiting for him to wake. His breathing came in labored gasps, that seemed to rattle in his throat, but at the same time it was almost soothing. He was still alive, which meant there was still hope. Soon, without knowing it, Hermione fell asleep, still resting on Draco, on the cold stone floor…in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
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An: ALRIGHT! That was a very somewhat touchy chapter. A lot of pain involved there! Well thanks to my Beta reader Mistress De Draco for making it 5 times better than it was originally!!!!
Songs listened to while writing this chapter:
Eminem – Soldier
Linking Park – Points Of Athority (Old song but heck, it's good! *wink*)
Linking Park – Somewhere I Belong
