Bit's of spoilers in this if you have not seen Terminator 3, so be warned!
Summary: John Conner's thoughts at different scenes of Terminator 3.
John's POV
"I'm not a leader..."
Skynet, we had gotten rid of it. Or so I thought... This new terminator, one who looked exactly like the other, said that we had only prevented it. So was all that bullshit was for nothing? What me and my mother did? I thought he had come back, the same one from before, and that he would remember everything that had happened 10 years ago, me; my mother; skynet. But... He said there was a whole assembly line of them, any one of them could look like him.
"Why do I have to be the leader?"
My mother, I never knew where she was buried. Her death had left me much grief, but I went on, knowing that if she saw me sobbing over her that she would probably say something like, "a military leader needs to be strong, do not cry in front of your soldiers." To find out that she had been cremated in Mexico made me smile inwardly. She always loved it there, I am glad that she had died peacefully...
"What is so important about me?"
Kate Brewster? My wife? I couldn't believe it. When he had told me, if we hadn't been in such a serious situation, I would have laughed heartily. That one make-out session in mike's basement that we had the day before 10 years ago was just child's play, who would have guessed?
"Can't someone else be the leader?"
I died. He killed me, in the future. You would think I wouldn't exist... If you can go back in time and prevent something from happening, then shouldn't that work vice versa? Where if you change something in the future it also changes the past?
"I never want to be a leader."
Before he destroyed the T-X, he told me I would see him again... Maybe. I can not grasp the concept of how the future and past worked anymore, so anything was believable.
"I am not a leader..."
Skynet took control. I understood it all, now, it was clear to me: We would never be able to stop skynet, we were only meant to live through it, to delay it. My only regret is that my mother had done everything in vain...
{John reflects upon what he has been told,
"Humans can not choose their own fate, it has already been determined, but they can change it's course..." The T-800 had said.
"There is no fate but what we make for ourselves." The famous line he had heard many times, said by his mother.}
End.
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I hope I grasped the concept of John's mind, please, If I left anything out please tell me! Flames will be gladly accepted, for I would like to know what I left out! And please note: At the end where it reads, ("John reflects upon what he has been told,..."Humans can not choose their own fate, it has already been determined, but they can change it's course..." The T-800 had said....) I made that up! Please R&R!