Introducing Chapter 5: An All-New, All-Spiffy Continuation of 'The Aliens Did It!', a story described as "Oddly Satisfying!" "Cool!" and "Not a Copyright Infringement on HDM in the Least!" (Warning: May contain blatent referances to white paint. Those who cannot handle this may choose to skip this chapter.)
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Introduction: We apologize for taking so long to update. We are really busy people who have to do really big research papers... all right, there's no excuse for what we've done. *lowers her head sadly* PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!! *tears form in eyes*
Now back to the white paint...
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The white paint was very white. The very white paint was contained in a very white bucket. The very white bucket was being held onto by a very white handle. The very white handle was being clasped by a very little, very green hand. This hand was attached to the arm that belonged to a smarmy little alien called Froid. Froid smiled semi-pleasantly and popped his neck. Will and Lyra were wide-eyed in fear for what they knew was inevitable...
Then, suddenly, Carol of the Bells started playing. Now THAT is a cool song. DO do do do DO do do do... and then Froid started melting. At first, he was just dripping, but then he became less and less solid...
Will looked at Lyra. Lyra looked at Will. They then shifted their gaze to the melting alien. Froid glared at them and wheezed, "I'm melting, I'm melting! What a world, what a world..."Then dissapeared completely. All that was left was a very smarmy-looking pile of green goo. Lyra inched over and began to prod the goo with her toe.
The goo started to attack Lyra, so she started flying out the non-existent window. No, I'm just kidding. The only non-existent thing you can fly out of are airplanes. However, Lyra didn't realize she was actually IN a non-existent airplane. What she DID do was... *bum bum buuum* POUR WHITE PAINT ON THE GOO. Suddenly the goo stopped moving. (Froid actually had this allergy to white paint. He was risking his life by attempting to paint them white. Of course, he's also an idiot, as I'm sure you've realized by now.)
Lyra was breathing raggedly... wouldnt you if you had just had a near-death experience with a puddle of unctuous green goo? She flopped onto the couch from exhaustion, and Will brought her a glass of milk. They were about to start talking when Will's eyes got very wide. Lyra turned around, and to her horror, found a giant tsunami wave of white paint rise out of the puddle of goo and, as tsunami waves seem to do, head straight for them.
***important break***
Extremely cool author with an extremely cool Brand New hoodie: What does unctuous mean?
Author with a not-as-cool Brand New T-shirt: Smarmy
Just clearing things up...
***important break over***
Will was finally smart enough to realize they WERE in a non-existent airplane, and told Lyra to jump out of it. So they both jumped out of the non-existent airplane. The spaceship was currently very close to Pluto, so they floated down on their non-existent floating-down-things and landed on the surface, where they saw... DINOSAURS PLAYING THE DANCE OF ISCARIOT!
Then Will's glazed eyes refocused, Will's brain snapped out of day-dream mode, and Will's vocal chords joined Lyra's in screaming while the tsunami of white paint crashed over them.
What REALLY happens to the dinosaurs from Pluto?... Find out, in the NEXT CHAPTER!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Introduction: We apologize for taking so long to update. We are really busy people who have to do really big research papers... all right, there's no excuse for what we've done. *lowers her head sadly* PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!! *tears form in eyes*
Now back to the white paint...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The white paint was very white. The very white paint was contained in a very white bucket. The very white bucket was being held onto by a very white handle. The very white handle was being clasped by a very little, very green hand. This hand was attached to the arm that belonged to a smarmy little alien called Froid. Froid smiled semi-pleasantly and popped his neck. Will and Lyra were wide-eyed in fear for what they knew was inevitable...
Then, suddenly, Carol of the Bells started playing. Now THAT is a cool song. DO do do do DO do do do... and then Froid started melting. At first, he was just dripping, but then he became less and less solid...
Will looked at Lyra. Lyra looked at Will. They then shifted their gaze to the melting alien. Froid glared at them and wheezed, "I'm melting, I'm melting! What a world, what a world..."Then dissapeared completely. All that was left was a very smarmy-looking pile of green goo. Lyra inched over and began to prod the goo with her toe.
The goo started to attack Lyra, so she started flying out the non-existent window. No, I'm just kidding. The only non-existent thing you can fly out of are airplanes. However, Lyra didn't realize she was actually IN a non-existent airplane. What she DID do was... *bum bum buuum* POUR WHITE PAINT ON THE GOO. Suddenly the goo stopped moving. (Froid actually had this allergy to white paint. He was risking his life by attempting to paint them white. Of course, he's also an idiot, as I'm sure you've realized by now.)
Lyra was breathing raggedly... wouldnt you if you had just had a near-death experience with a puddle of unctuous green goo? She flopped onto the couch from exhaustion, and Will brought her a glass of milk. They were about to start talking when Will's eyes got very wide. Lyra turned around, and to her horror, found a giant tsunami wave of white paint rise out of the puddle of goo and, as tsunami waves seem to do, head straight for them.
***important break***
Extremely cool author with an extremely cool Brand New hoodie: What does unctuous mean?
Author with a not-as-cool Brand New T-shirt: Smarmy
Just clearing things up...
***important break over***
Will was finally smart enough to realize they WERE in a non-existent airplane, and told Lyra to jump out of it. So they both jumped out of the non-existent airplane. The spaceship was currently very close to Pluto, so they floated down on their non-existent floating-down-things and landed on the surface, where they saw... DINOSAURS PLAYING THE DANCE OF ISCARIOT!
Then Will's glazed eyes refocused, Will's brain snapped out of day-dream mode, and Will's vocal chords joined Lyra's in screaming while the tsunami of white paint crashed over them.
What REALLY happens to the dinosaurs from Pluto?... Find out, in the NEXT CHAPTER!