Title: Predilection
Authoress: Hikaru R. Kudou
Rating: PG
Chapter: 5/7
Genre: Mild yaoi / Shounen ai, Romance, General, Angst, Humour
Summary: Conflicts, fears and confusions arise as Sanzo and Goku struggle to explore and understand the foreign feeling they have for each other.
Warnings: Minor OOC-ness, clichéd plot, the authoress' imperfect English, grammatical errors, late update, etc
DISCLAIMER: Not mine~! Argh! *tugs hair*

Authoress' Notes: Thank you so much to Ami-chan (Hai, I'll try not to be too depressed! *salutes* It'll go away on the 21st of November – I hope…), mabaroshi16 (I'm so sorry for the late update! Exams are evil!), On3 (Again, so sorry for the late update! Guilty me…), UltraM2000 (Thank you for reading! I know yaoi and shounen-ai are just not your cup of tea and to have you reading this really makes my day…), gallatica (My grammar, I believe, is just not good enough… ^^;; …that's what I get for being a perfectionist), Mag Magenta (Thank you! To me everything they do together is cute *chuckles*), and The Original Li-chan (Wow, what a long comment! Ne, why don't you draw a fanart of the OC? I'd love to see it! And don't worry about my depression, really…) for the really, really generous feedback! *sweeping bow*
            I hope you're going to enjoy this chapter!

- + - + - + -

Homura's frail body sprawled on his bed languidly. He had no idea how Shihou managed to get himself lost even when Homura was playing tour guide. Everything seemed ridiculous, impossible.

'This can't be happening to me…'

Homura prostrated, rambling about his misfortune and this retribution was far too much, exceedingly harsh for someone with little sin—such as himself.

Shihou got lost when Homura was in front. Shihou got lost when Homura was beside him—no thanks to Anshi and his stupid antiques. He was preaching, Homura was protesting and poof! Shihou was gone. Again.

"Anshi, can we continue this some other time…?"

"Homura, my misguided one, we must not delay the arrival of peace…"

"…I need to find my student…"

"Oh, dear, dear Shihou, bless the innocent soul. I don't want to see your influence rubbing off on him, the poor dear…"

"Poor dear, indeed. So let me go and look for him."

"My sympathies, dear Homura."

Homura recoiled, cringing at the word adjacent to his name. He was even more started when Anshi held his hands.

"Come, Homura. Take my hands. There is hope for you yet, my child. We will start with looking for the lost, pure soul that is Shihou Narusu. Next, we shall chase after the light of happiness. Saa, Homura!"

"Let go of me! Anshi, we're going in the wrong direction, Shihou when that way—aahhh!!!"

The result? Anshi got both of them lost, and Homura got a bad case of rashes. Homura scratched his chafed hands vigorously. 'I'm allergic to that screwed up god…'

Shien knocked once on Homura's door, and with Homura's nod of approval, he approached the lackadaisical war god.

"Shihou is finally here, Homura."

"Hnnn…"

"He asked for you, but I told him you're asleep. I don't think it's best if he knows you're ailing."

Homura sat up slowly, lacking energy. "Aa. He would be worried about me out and out. He's so immature…"

"He adores you that's all…as a student should to his teacher…"

"So what is he up to?"

"I told him to memorize a few maps. Zenon's with him."

Homura and Shien heard Zenon's howl in a trice.

"No, you're reading it the wrong way! You're holding it upside down! Shihou Narusu!!!"

"GOMEN!!"

Homura sighed. "This could take awhile…"

- - - - -

The first ray of the sun appeared in the horizon, a signal for Hakkai to rise from his slumber. He straightened, stretching himself. The blur in his eyes cleared, and he found himself witnessing a once in a lifetime event.

Son Goku was sleeping peacefully in Genjo Sanzo's embrace.

The muscles on Hakkai's face relaxed, as he was deeply touched to see the two of them in their moment of tranquillity. It was a really nice change—from all those paper-fan tortures and bickering. Hakkai knew Sanzo had something towards Goku for quite some time, and Sanzo's interrogations about, uh, sentimental matters validated his theories.

Goku coughed once, the sound acted like an alarm clock to Sanzo. Oblivious to Hakkai's observant eyes, Sanzo eyed Goku closely, his hands caressing Goku's back affectionately. He inhaled the fragrance of Goku's hair, a nice, delightful fragrance—nowhere close to the smell of buns.

All euphoria must come to an end, unfortunately, for Sanzo became aware of the fact that he was being watched.

Knowing he was caught red-handed (or, in this case, Goku-handed) he came up with an excuse to defend himself for his bizarre situation. "He was cold."

"I see. The weather is kind of chilly here." Hakkai carefully removed Gojyo's arm, which was clinging on to him.

Reluctant, Sanzo shook Goku's shoulder gently. "Oi, saru, wake up."

Goku moaned sleepily, turned his head to the other side and resumed his interrupted rest.

Hakkai gazed at Goku's nonchalant face. "He looks really happy, Sanzo. He never looked this sedated before—not even in his sleep."

Sanzo shot a suspicious look at Hakkai. "You've been sneaking to Gojyo's room during night time, haven't you?"

His secret exposed, Hakkai chuckled quietly. "We didn't do anything, err…" He was at a loss for words, that he left the sentence incomplete.

There was a brief silence as Sanzo debated with himself whether he should wake Goku up or just leave him sleeping peacefully. He finally settled on the first alternative, realizing that it was only a matter of seconds until Gojyo came to his senses.

"Wake up now." Sanzo shook Goku again, a little harder. The monk held Goku in front of him.

Barely up, Goku's head nodded several times. Sanzo pressed his fingers on Goku's biceps and shook the shorter lad for the last time. "Damn it, Goku! Wake up, I say!"

Up at last, Goku yawned, rubbed his eyes and extended his arms. "Ohayou, Sanzo! How was your night?"

'…excellent.' "I barely dozed off. I can't feel my legs with you on them." '…oh, ****.'

Goku sprang back to the driver's seat. "I—I'm so sorry! I should've stayed here. I'm really, really sorry…"

"Whatever. Just forget it." Sanzo figured he would give a very different answer should Hakkai and Gojyo were not anywhere within a radius of ten miles away—but fate was cruel.

"Good morning, love, how was your night?" Gojyo, just awakened, gave Hakkai a peck on the latter's cheek. "You slept well, I hope?"

"Good morning to you too. Indeed, I had a marvellous night. So did you, I reckon?"

As Goku gawked at them incomprehensibly, Sanzo snorted in disgust. 'If only Goku had asked me that, it wouldn't sound so—detestable…chotto, he did ask…'

Goku, deciding all the lovey-dovey stuff that was going on between Gojyo and Hakkai was not his idea to pass the morning, turned to Sanzo. "Sanzo, I—"

'Ask that question again, saru…ask me…'

"—eh? Why are you looking at me like that?"

'…****.' "Get off Hakkai's seat, saru. We're moving now."

"Oh, yeah."

'IDIOT!!!' Sanzo mentally berated both he and Goku in frustration.

- - - - -

Genjo Sanzo was confounded. He was so confident at first that he had merely had been lusting towards Goku, but now he was starting to be doubtful. For one thing, the night passed peacefully, without any obscenities taking place.

Really, Sanzo was surprised at his profound self-control. Without it, who knows what could have happened to Goku. The latter would have to kiss his virginity bye-bye, not forgetting his innocence too.

But nothing happened. They were still virgins, both of them.

'Nonetheless, this is only lust I'm feeling…that should be it…how the **** did I manage not to **** that saru? There was the opportunity…but I didn't do anything…Only that—hug…'

"What a beautiful weather we are having…" remarked Hakkai, increasing Jiipu's speed.

'I think I liked having him in my arms…wonder if he liked it too…'

"I'm hungry~!" wailed Goku.

'…that saru had better be grateful to me for not screwing him…'

"Hakkai, the weather's freaking hot!" objected Gojyo, fanning himself robustly. "How could you use the term 'beautiful' to describe it?"

"It's a merry morning!" said Hakkai. "Everyone seems perky."

"I'm hungry!" Goku gripped Hakkai's seat. "I can't take it anymore! When will we reach the next town?"

"Saru, quiet, will you? You're disturbing Hakkai," said Gojyo.

'Holy ****, I'm trying to think here, damn it!' Sanzo proceeded to whack Gojyo and Goku. "Urusei! Stop behaving like immatures! I'm damned p*ssed off!"

For a moment, there was silence until the sound of Goku's stomach churning brought it to an unceremonious end. Goku sighed in despair.

"I need breakfast…" complained Goku. "I need food…"

"What town should we come to next?" Gojyo asked his lover.

Hakkai gave the name of the town. "But according to our schedule, we're only going to drive pass it…"

"You mean we're not stopping to eat?"

"Uh…according to our schedule, we're supposed to have the leftovers of last night's dinner for breakfast…"

Stupefied, Gojyo gasped, his façade displaying his utmost horror. "But we've no food left!"

"Maa, na…"

"Saru! You finished them last night! Now we're all going to starve to death!" Gojyo accused.

"I was hungry!" retorted Goku. "And there was nothing else to eat!"

"Do you realize what you have done?!"

"I didn't do anything wrong! Stop yelling at me!"

Gojyo clutched Hakkai's shoulders. "Hakkai~! Can't you do something? I'm sure you're hungry too…"

Chuckling, "Nothing I can't handle, Gojyo…You might want to ask Sanzo, though…It's all up to him…"

"Hey, monk, can we…"

"No," Came a flat answer.

"But only…"

"I said no. We're way behind schedule," snapped the blond in reproach. "With you morons fooling around, we'll never get to our ******* destination."

"But you're hungry too."

"No."

"We need nutrients to be in top form! What if a herd of youkais—"

"They can kill you for all I care."

"Geez, meanie…" Gojyo slumped back on his seat.

"Sanzo…" Goku's voice was weak, his face slightly ashen. "I really, really feel hungry…Sanzo, please…can we stop at the next town? You can beat me as many times as you like after breakfast…"

The pitiful tone of Goku's left Sanzo mute, unable to voice out a strict refusal. Goku was not wailing—he sounded awfully weak. And Goku's expression, pathetic as it was, touched Sanzo's stone heart somewhat. Pathetic, yes, yet in an adorable kind of way, that made Sanzo felt the bitter taste of guilt to no end.

"Well, Sanzo, what will it be?" asked Hakkai.

Sanzo opened his mouth to answer, but the sound of thunder clapping beat him to it.

"****," mumbled Sanzo. "Damn the God of Weather…"

"It seems that we have no choice now…" Hakkai laughed. "Sorry, Sanzo, but things don't always go your way…"

"Thank you!" interposed Gojyo.

'Damn the bad early morning weather. At least now I don't have to come up with a stupid excuse,' thought Sanzo. 'That monkey owes me big time.'

Hakkai can be reckless yet safe driver when he wants to. He had raced Hakuryu to the said town in an unworldly speed, that they soon found themselves warm and dry in an inn while rain descended, wetting the dry soils.

Sanzo had retired to a room, preferring to wait for the abominable rain to go away in solitude. Goku was worried seeing the monk's condition, as every other rainy season.

"Sanzo, here's your cigarette box. Hakkai bought it for you…" Goku placed the white box on a table.

Sanzo only stared out of the window in silence. He had his back towards Goku, preventing the latter from seeing his face.

"Just in case you need me…" began Goku.

"I don't need you," Sanzo cut in coldly. "Go away. I want to be alone."

"Ah, hai…" Goku, after looking at Sanzo for one last time, closed the door with a heavy heart.

- - - - -

For some unknown reason, the rain did not stop even though it was already late evening. Goku, intending to while away the time, wandered aimlessly around the inn. As always, Gojyo and Hakkai had disappeared enigmatically.

'I should be accompanying Sanzo…but by the look of things I'll just make him worse if I do…'

He leaned against a wall. Did Sanzo really mean it when he said that he doesn't need him?

"Hello, Son Goku…"

Recognizing that deep, seductive voice, Goku found Homura about three feet away from him. A mischievous smile was plastered on his face—the very smile which Sanzo abhorred only too much.

"It's you, Homura."

Homura ambled, each step bringing him closer to Goku. "You don't seem happy to see me."

"What…?" 'Happy? Why should I be happy?'

Goku suddenly found Homura cupping his chin, his mismatched eyes piercing into Goku's surprised ones.

"Ask me, Son Goku…"

"A-ask what?"

"The question you asked me a few days ago…"

"Which was—? I don't remember…" lied Goku.

Chortling to himself, Homura traced Goku's chin slowly. "You asked about love…ask me again."

"But…"

"I'll give you a different answer this time…"

"I don't want…"

"Forgive me for my previous answer, Son Goku…Rinrei is my past, and you're my future…"

"I don't understand…"

"Love is a special kind of feeling one has for another. It's the same feeling I have for you."

"That means you love me?" '…huh?'

"With all my heart." With that, Homura moved in for a kiss.

- - - - -

'I was too harsh on him…' Sanzo frowned to his image in the window screen. He recalled Goku's reflection in the dark glass when he was there, in the same room as he was.

He had, he reasoned, lied. A lie so deep that even the whole Tenkai could fit into the gigantic dent. A lie that came from his lips without passing through his brain.

'I need that saru…'

He remembered Goku's upset face when he (Goku) heard his answer. Goku was hurt, scarred, so badly that that it was written all over his features. Sanzo had never associated the word 'hurt' to Goku before, assuming that anything he did would never wound Goku.

Wrong assumption.

'Damn it, when did I start worrying what others think of me…why do I care what is Goku's perception towards me…'

The monk punched the wall in fury.

'If that monkey comes back, I—I…'

No, he must not touch Goku, lest his beastly lust gets the better of him and—abuses Goku.

'He doesn't deserve it…and I don't deserve him…'

He delivered another punch, the innkeeper's reaction the last thing on his mind.

No, waiting for Goku would only waste precious seconds. With the rain pouring heavily outside, each moment merely aggravated Sanzo, perhaps…Goku's company is the remedy for his…troubled emotion…

He got up and withdrew from the room. He explored the building for any sign of Goku…

…only to find him with Homura. Kissing.

His anger reaching its critical state, in a split second Sanzo had aimed his pistol at Homura's head from a distance. Before he could pull the trigger, Goku had pulled away, his hands covering his mouth.

"What's the matter? My kiss not passionate enough?" asked Homura. "I can do better."

Goku shook his head. Blood was rushing to his eyes. Was he blushing?

Homura snickered. "I'll show you some more." He took a step, but a speeding bullet halted everything. Both Homura and Goku stared at the gun, then at the newcomer.

"Touch him…and I'll kill you," said Sanzo, nearing them. The tip of the gun never swayed away from Homura's forehead.

"Konzen…it's so like you to ruin our little time together…" sneered Homura.

"Shut up, *******. I'll rip your accursed mouth for kissing Goku. How many times do I have to tell you not to come close to—"

"You are challenging me."

            "If you would prefer to take it that way."

"You, Konzen—or, Genjo Sanzo—you don't deserve him."

Bull's eye. Homura confirmed Sanzo's thoughts just awhile ago.

"What makes you think you deserve him?" countered the blond petulantly. "You're just a *******."

"I treat Son Goku wonderfully well. I don't call him names and I surely don't whack him heartless with my fan—that is, if I have one."

"Ch'! I've been feeding him since—"

"Feed?" A sardonic laughter. "You're talking like he's some sort of a pet of yours. A pet for you to play around with, but treat him unjustly when you're bored with it."

Goku stared at Sanzo, searching for his denial. "Is—is that so?

"Don't say anything you're unsure of, Homura."

Homura sighed. "Why don't we let Goku decide?" Homura smiled at him. "Come on, Goku. Make your choice. This heartless, corrupted monk or me, a god who loves you?"

Silence reigned as Sanzo and Homura waited for Goku's answer expectantly. Goku switched his gaze from Sanzo to Homura over and over, before he shook his head, backing away.

"I…I don't know…I can't…" Tears were forming in his eyes. "I'm confused…I admit I'm very stupid…but I really don't know…"

Sanzo snorted in contempt. "Just say that you liked his disgusting kiss. You promised not to kiss any imbecile unless I say so!"

"Sanzo, I didn't—"

"Don't dilly-dally with me, saru! I know that you love this freaky god!"

"See, Goku…I told you he's heartless…" Homura chimed in.

"Nobody gave you permission to speak, Homura! Now get out of my sight, both of you! If you think this stupid god can show you love, why don't you go with him? Maybe now I don't have to worry about your bottomless stomach!"

"…you really want me to go, don't you?" said Goku, trembling. "You want me to go with Homura…"

Sanzo was silenced, recalling that he was in a situation almost familiar to his premonition…

"If this is what they call love…I don't want it. You'll never see me again, Sanzo…good luck and good bye [1]. I'm glad I met you, and I thank you for everything…I have to go…" He darted towards the staircase and ran out of the building, into the rain, into the darkness.

Stunned, Sanzo's legs gave away, thus he had to hold on to the wall for support.

'It came true…Goku, he…he left me…'

- + - + - + -

[1] – There's a song sung by Sanzo's seiyuu called Good Luck & Good Bye. Alas, the anime the song is from escapes me at the moment…

Authoress' Ramblings: Next update would most probably be on the 20th November, after all my papers are over…Ack…
Authoress' Muse's Ramblings: Okay, Kudou, the chapter's done…now get back to studying…*drags the unwilling, stubborn authoress to her books* For God's sake, woman, your exams are less than one week away but you're still busy being depressed or/and writing fics…